Love Will Find A Way
by ennisjackgal
Summary: Signal, 1963. Ennis and Jack take leave of each other, but when Ennis ducks into the alleyway, Jack sees him and turns back.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The wind howled over the desolate landscape and the silent buildings, carrying with it a cold and bitter hint of forthcoming winter. It picked up an empty feed bag and carried it down the street, depositing it underneath a black pickup truck that had definitely seen better days, going unnoticed by the two young men leaning against it. The air between them was thick with tension, and hanging in it were the words they were saying, and the words they were not saying.

Finally, after an uncomfortable silence, unwilling to meet his companion's eyes, Ennis spoke again.

"So I guess I'll see you around, huh?" He finally met Jack's eyes, trying to ignore the bruise on his cheek.

"Right." replied Jack distractedly, nodding. _See you around? That's it? That's all I get after everything that happened up there?_

_Of course it is, you dumbass. You knew he was engaged, he told you himself, but that didn't stop you did it? You were too busy fallin' for him to notice. You started this knowin' full well it couldn't last. You agreed it was a one-shot thing._

_I thought it would be. I never expected it to hurt so much when it was all over._

It took a great effort for Ennis to move away from the truck and set off walking. A dull ache had started in his gut, and as he watched Jack drive further and further away from him, the pain suddenly ripped through. He clutched at his stomach, pain blurring his vision, and he staggered into the alleyway.

Jack's eyes had been gradually filling with tears as he started off, and he wiped them away furiously, hating himself for feeling being so weak.

_You should have seen it comin',_ he scolded himself.

He looked back into the mirror where he'd been watching Ennis walk, where he had sneaked a few glances that first day outside Aguirre's trailer while shaving, highly intrigued by this silent, mysterious stranger.

As he continued to watch Ennis, he saw, to his surprise, Ennis stop walking, clutch his stomach and stagger into the alleyway. Jack debated with himself. He wanted to make sure Ennis was okay, but since their fight on the hill that he still bore scars of, he was unsure how Ennis might respond to a caring touch.

_Ah, fuck it, _he thought. _I gotta make sure he ain't passin' out or nothin'. _He turned the truck back around and started driving back.

Ennis sank to his knees, pressing his hands to the wall, retching and gasping for breath. His stomach was in knots and his head was swimming. He didn't know what had caused this, for he had never felt this bad in his life, but felt he could make a pretty good guess.

He heard tires and hurried footsteps, and then those hands, those warm, firm hands that had held him and soothed him so many times, rubbing his shoulders and neck. Then that voice, that voice that was music to his ears.

"Hey," whispered Jack, sounding calm and terrified all at the same time. "You okay?" He crouched down beside Ennis, rubbing at his back. Ennis, unable to speak, shook his head.

"Take a deep breath, you'll be okay." Jack soothed, and through the hand on Ennis's neck, he felt his heart rate return to normal. _What the hell's goin' on?_

Ennis allowed Jack to slowly pull him to his feet, took a deep gulping breath and met his eyes. Deep pools of brilliant blue full of concern, the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen, eyes to haunt dreams.

Before Jack could react, Ennis had buried himself in his arms, clutching at Jack's back. Jack blinked several times in surprise before returning the embrace. Ennis rarely let his guard down like this, and Jack didn't know what to make of it.

Ennis finally calmed down and pulled himself away, blinking back tears. He opened his mouth. "Jack, I..."

"What is it? Jack asked softly, waiting patiently. He knew Ennis had trouble voicing his feelings, but he would have waited however long it took for Ennis to get the words out.

_I'd do anything for this man, _he thought to himself, _an' I gotta show him best I can._

"It's just..." his throat felt constricted and his voice was thick with emotion. "Can ya just..."

"What? Whatever ya need me to do, just tell me. I hate to see ya like this." He squeezed Ennis's shoulders.

"Can ya...stay?" he mumbled. "I mean, we don't gotta go home yet right? Can ya..." He trailed off and met Jack's eyes, and in that look Jack saw what he was trying to say.

"You don't want me to go yet? That it? You wanna stay a while?" He had to acknowledge his surprise that Ennis was suggesting this, yet he felt his heart lift. Ennis nodded and exhaled, relieved that Jack had understood.

Jack nodded and smiled. _He wants to spend more time with me,_ he thought happily. _I guess that's somethin', an' I'll take what I can get._

He led Ennis, who was still shaking, over to the truck before climbing in himself, hastily shoving his bag off the passenger seat onto the floor before Ennis could see what was in it.

_He don't need to know, _he told himself as he drove the truck down the road.

* * *

><p>Joe moved away from the window and sat down at his desk, exhaling with relief. Finally, they'd gone. Fucking queers, he was glad to be finally rid of them, hoping he had seen the back of them. If they ever did turn up to darken his doorway again, he would send them straight back out again, no matter how desperate he got for help.<p>

It was because of their unnatural behaviour that half the sheep they'd come back down with weren't even his, and the number had been nothing close to what he'd been expecting. He had of course seen the bruise on Twist's cheek and vaguely wondered if Del Mar had done it, he sure seemed capable, but didn't need to wonder why he might have done it.

_He was sitting in his office, smoking and thinking of calling his wife, when he heard a sharp knocking on the door._

"_Yeah?" _

_Joel Smith stepped inside. He was the other hand that Joe had hired alongside young Jack Twist. Like Jack, Joel came from near the Montana border, Lovell or somewhere like that. Joe knew both their fathers, and with both of them having turned eighteen he had agreed to give them the summer job up on Brokeback._

_Joe stared as Joel stepped into the trailer. He looked nervous and unwilling to meet Jack's eyes, turning his hat over and over in his hands. _

"_The hell you doin' here, Smith? Should be up on Brokeback, s'only been two weeks."_

_Joel looked a good deal more subdued than the last time Joe had seen him. "Sorry Mr Aguirre, but I gotta quit, gotta go home. Got altitude sickness real bad, can't stand it no more."_

_Joe looked at him suspiciously, narrowing his eyes. His father had never mentioned anything of Joel being susceptible to altitude sickness, surely would have mentioned it when asking Joe to hire him._

"_An' what about Twist? Gonna leave him to look after a thousand sheep on his own? He ain't no older'n you, you know."_

_Joel had averted his eyes upon hearing Jack's name. He swallowed and tried to choke out a few more words, but felt unable to do so. He would not, under any circumstances, tell anyone what had happened the night before, felt a burning shame whenever he thought about it._

_Joe decided that Joel wasn't going to give him a satisfactory answer. He got up and handed Joel several notes. "That's yer two weeks, now get the hell outta here." Joel didn't need telling twice._

_He sat down again and picked up the phone, dialling Joel's father._

"_Jim? It's Joe Aguirre."_

"_Hey Joe, how's my boy doin' up there? Good worker ain't he?" Jim's pride in his son was evident in his voice, a world away from how John Twist had ever spoken about Jack._

"_Ain't never gonna know, Jim. Your boy's just been back at my trailer, sayin' he's gotta go home, somethin' about altitude sickness. You could've told me."_

"_Altitude sickness? The hell, Joe? The boy's never had that in his life! Used to take him an' his brothers hiking in the mountains all the time, they never once got sick. Why would he now?"_

_Jim was right, it didn't add up. Joe couldn't think what to say to this revelation, so decided to let it drop and simply ended up telling him that Joel had been paid his two weeks and was heading home._

When Twist came down at the end of the summer, he'd looked worn out and had also been reluctant to make eye contact. That storm had killed forty-two sheep and he simply hadn't been able to cope on his own.

_He wouldn't have been on his own if he'd been normal, _Joe thought to himself now.

He remembered how Twist's mother had called him to tell her son about his uncle being in hospital. So he had gone up there. He'd used his binoculars to locate them, and no amount of warning could have prepared him for what he'd seen.

Del Mar and Twist were half-naked, running around, pants undone. He shuddered at the thought. He'd seen them wrestling, falling to the ground, _kissing_. Out there in broad daylight, in front of God.

For a while after the previous summer he'd wondered why Joel had really left, but it wasn't until he'd seen Twist with Del Mar that he'd understood. Looking back, Joe had to wonder at how Twist had had the guts to show up again, despite his lack of skill and unnatural urges. Then he'd seen Del Mar, tough, silent and definitely not the type for _that_.

Or so he'd thought, until he'd spied them that day. Del Mar had responded where Smith hadn't. He'd let it happen. So what about the bruise? Had he finally come to his senses?

He remembered there was a Del Mar living here in Signal, went by the name K.E., most likely his brother. Joe felt that the family ought to hear the truth about their relative, what he was. He didn't have a number or address, but figured the post office would know. He got up and headed outside.

He drove quickly through town, not paying any notice to his surroundings. If he had, he would have seen the old black pickup truck parked outside the dingy old bar.

* * *

><p>The two of them sat side by side at the bar, drinking beer like before, as if nothing had changed. Except, of course, everything had changed. The uncomfortable silence between them was enough to prove that.<p>

Jack was confused, and rightly so. Ennis had asked him to stay, had been in a real state, yet since they'd sat down he hadn't uttered a word.

_My dad would be callin' the paper if he saw me this quiet, _he thought wryly. _Then again, if he could see what I've been up to he'd be diggin' out the shotgun._

_What the hell am I supposed to do?_

Ennis cleared his throat, shaking Jack from his thoughts.

"Uh...Jack?" he mumbled, as he always did when reluctant to speak up.

"Yeah? What's up?" Jack turned to face Ennis, who had his eyes fixed on his bottle, picking at the label.

"I guess yer wonderin'...what's goin' on?" he asked, still not looking up.

There wasn't much point in lying, so Jack simply sighed and nodded. "I did wonder what happened back there. You were in such a state."

"Yeah...it's just..." he hesitated, trying to find the words to describe the gut-wrenching pain he had felt to watch Jack drive away, not fully knowing if he would ever see him again.

He cleared his throat. "When I saw you drivin' off, knowin' you was leavin', it just tore me up, you know? Like my guts were bein' ripped out or somethin'. Hurt like hell."

"I thought we'd be up there for another month, so when you said we'd been told to bring the sheep down...I couldn't handle it, that's why I flew off the handle." He trailed off.

Jack had a lump in his throat. He hadn't expected Ennis to be so forthright with his feelings, so open. He remembered the day they'd sat by the campfire, when Ennis had, according to Jack, spoken more words than he had in the past two weeks, and Ennis had replied that it had been the most he'd spoken in a year.

Jack, despite the thoughts running through his head, hadn't said anything, quickly covered it up with his rodeo antics. He had been attracted to Ennis for a while by then, so he'd figured that since Ennis was opening up to him more, it might soon be time to make a move, the whiskey merely gave him the "drunken mistake" excuse if anything went wrong. He wasn't proud of himself for going after Ennis when he knew he was engaged, but his feelings had been too strong to ignore, and when they ended up in the bedroll together, Jack saw his chance. Both a blessing and a curse.

He was brought back to the present when Ennis spoke again.

"Jack...I'm real sorry."

"Huh? For what?"

Ennis finally met Jack's eyes, hesitation and sorrow clouding his own. "For that," he whispered, flicking his eyes to Jack's face, and the bruise.

Jack sighed, a smile of understanding on his face. "Don't worry about it."

"You didn't deserve it," Ennis muttered. "You was just tryin' to cheer me up."

"I said don't worry about it."

Ennis seemed to accept this and relaxed.

Jack wanted to ask Ennis what they were going to do tonight. Hell, he wanted to ask what they were going to do for the rest of their lives. Deep in his heart, a fantasy had emerged, of him and Ennis running off and living on their own ranch, maybe a cow and calf operation, living a real sweet life.

_Yeah, don't push it, Twist._

They left the bar quite late and slowly made their way to the truck.

"Wait a sec," Jack had realised. "We can't drive in this state, we'll go off the road." He looked at Ennis, who was giving Jack the strangest look, having apparently not taken in much of what he'd said. Ennis broke off his gaze and looked around, trying to focus.

"What about there?" he half-slurred, pointing.

Jack turned to see what Ennis was pointing at. It was a motel. His stomach did a backflip.

_A motel? A room? A...bed? But that means..._his mind was racing. He'd been wondering about their plans for the night, but he had assumed that they would be sleeping in the truck. Ever since Ennis had thrown him that punch, he had been extremely cautious about any kind of physical contact. Even when he'd pulled Ennis to his feet in the alleyway he'd been half-expecting another slugging. He knew damn well the associations of a motel room bed.

He wanted to, so very much, but his confusion was increasing rapidly. Just what was going on in their relationship, if it could be called that? He sure as hell didn't know, felt he was going in circles.

Still, Ennis had suggested it, so it couldn't be totally out of the question, could it? Jack thought back to his earlier thoughts when Ennis had asked him to stay.

_I'll take what I can get._

He looked back at Ennis, who had a strange light in his eyes. Jack could practically feel the electricity crackling between them, raging hormones flying about. He swallowed his doubts and pushed away his feverish thoughts before nodding.

* * *

><p>When he looked back, Jack would never know how he had gathered the state of mind to walk into the owner's office and rent a room, or how he had managed to form coherent sentences with his mind reeling from shock. He felt like his legs were on casters.<p>

They walked into the room in complete silence. Jack went in first and saw the big bed, so warm and inviting. Mere seconds after Ennis shut the door he placed his hands on Jack's waist from behind, pulling his hips to him, then wrapping his arms fully around him. He started to slowly place soft kisses down his neck, pressing ever closer and running his hands all over Jack's chest, under his jacket and shirt, feeling the cool skin.

Jack shivered and immediately felt his arousal grow and his pants tighten. God that felt good, but he was still wary of reacting, not at all sure what might or might not happen in the morning. But god that felt good...so good.

Ennis loosened his grip on Jack's chest and turned him around, eyes locking together, boring into each other. Jack's mind went blank and his legs turned to jelly. Those deep brown eyes, he was sure they could see into his very soul. He was rendered incapable of thought when Ennis moved in and kissed him, long and deep, pushing his tongue into Jack's mouth.

Jack's brain and his doubts switched off and allowed him to kiss back, arms going up Ennis's chest and around his neck as Ennis pulled him close again, hands travelling down to Jack's ass. He could feel Ennis steering him blindly backwards towards the bed.

Ennis's fingers were busily working on the furry jacket, pulling the sleeves down off Jack's shoulders and throwing it randomly onto the floor, then started fiddling with the shirt buttons. Jack, meanwhile, was busy doing exactly the same with Ennis's jacket and then his buttons. Shirts were shed and hands travelled down to belt buckles as their kisses became quicker and more urgent.

As Jack's legs hit the bed, they both managed to kick their pants off and sink down onto the bed. Jack moved up to the head, never letting go of Ennis's lips as he followed him there, after him and then over him, hands all over Jack's body, Jack's hands all over his. The only sound in the room was their heavy breathing and wet kisses.

Ennis finally let go of Jack's lips and gazed into his eyes. Jack felt a shiver run through him again at the look in those eyes. But he barely had time to register it before Ennis was rising up and pushing Jack's knees apart. Jack's eyes widened in anticipation. They'd only ever done it face to face once, and Jack suspected that the first time had scared Ennis, for it shattered any illusions that he wasn't having sex with a man, so they'd never done it that way again. Jack knew this was part of Ennis's "I ain't queer" insistence that he couldn't admit to having sex with a man. This annoyed Jack, since he knew damn well Ennis enjoyed it as much as he did, but he had resigned himself to it. At least Ennis hadn't rejected him altogether.

So then, what was happening now? Was it the alcohol talking? Was it supposed to be happening this way?

He had no time to think on this, for Ennis was looking straight into Jack's eyes as he slowly yet deliberately entered him, hitching Jack's legs up, which Jack wrapped around Ennis's waist as he was claimed. They started to move together, slowly at first, and sweat soon started to form on their foreheads, their breaths coming sharp and fast and their eyes blazing into each other.

Ennis slipped a hand to the back of Jack's head and kissed him firmly. Jack had loved this aspect of doing it face to face, being able to kiss like this and see each other's faces, see how they were making each other feel.

"Jack..." Ennis whispered, the first word he'd spoken since they'd entered the room. He kept kissing Jack, kisses to make Jack dizzy, feeling the end was close for both of them. He sped up, thrusting harder and faster, causing Jack to moan helplessly. He dipped a hand between them and took hold of Jack with one hand, the other still on his neck.

"Ennis..."he croaked. Nearer and nearer, faster and faster and oh god here it comes...he cried out as his vision swam and his muscles locked as he had his release. This led Ennis into his own as his fingers dug into Jack's shoulders, shuddering and gasping for breath, then relaxing. He rolled himself off Jack and they both collapsed with exhaustion.

* * *

><p>Jack woke several hours later, nature urgently calling. He looked over at Ennis, fast asleep on his back. Jack smiled at how peaceful he looked, a look that he'd only seen precious few times, the first being that second night in the tent as Ennis had finally given himself over to Jack and to his own desires.<p>

He quietly rose off the bed and padded to the bathroom. As he stood there, he thought back to what had happened that night. They'd actually done it face to face, only the second time they'd done so, on account of Ennis's trouble with getting his head around the fact that he was sleeping with a man.

This reminded Jack of his favourite memory from Brokeback. He'd been standing by the fire, steadily falling asleep, head on his chest. Ennis had slipped up behind him and pulled him close, humming to him and swaying him from side to side. Jack knew he hadn't turned him around because he didn't want to admit he was holding a man, but it had been wonderful. He'd felt safe, loved and protected, as if nothing could hurt him while Ennis was there, and as he'd watched Ennis ride away Jack knew he would never feel more in love than he did then.

He crept out of the bathroom and got under the covers, shivering after sleeping naked for so long. He thought about waking Ennis up so he too could get under and keep warm, but he took another look at the peace on his face and decided to leave him be.

He thought back to the day they'd met outside Aguirre's trailer. He'd only just made it in the damn truck before the engine died, and when he'd got out his attention (and his boot) had been totally focused on it. Until he'd felt a pair of eyes watching him.

He would never forget the first time he'd seen Ennis. He was quiet and shy, and Jack was completely fascinated, eager to get to know him and find out what he was like, feeling an attraction growing in spite of himself.

After what happened last summer, he'd sworn to himself that he'd behave himself this time, keep his hands to himself no matter what. Only that hadn't worked had it? He hadn't been able to stop himself, had thrown himself in the deep end. Ennis had been sending him signals all over the place, had admitted he "ain't yet had the opportunity" to sin, which Jack had taken as a green light to make a move. So when Ennis had ridden away without a word the next morning, Jack had been confused...and terrified that once again, he'd made a big mistake and was being left to look after the sheep on his own again.

But Ennis had come back. He had come back and shown Jack he needed him, and Jack had done his best to get Ennis to relax that night, holding him, kissing him...

_It was a one-shot thing,_ he thought to himself miserably. _Soon enough, too soon, it'll all be over, a summer of memories to get me through the cold, lonely nights._

_Brokeback Mountain's all I got._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

When Ennis woke a few hours later to the cold, grey morning light, he found he was absolutely freezing, then remembered he'd collapsed on top of the covers and fallen asleep straightaway. His head was pounding, just like that other morning when he'd woken to find his life had changed for good. He looked around blearily and saw Jack next to him, curled up under the covers in a ball, so peaceful.

Ennis watched him for a few moments, just watching him breathe, remembering what had happened the night before. Had they really had sex face to face? They must have, he wouldn't forget the look on Jack's face in a hurry, wouldn't forget those kisses and how it felt to hold him like that, and those blue eyes sending volts through him. After the first time they'd tried it that way, it had freaked him out so badly they'd never done it like that again. He was sleeping with a man, no two ways about it. So then why was it, when he thought about last night, did it not bother him now? Had he finally got used to the idea?

He couldn't think properly with his hangover, head pounding away. He looked round the room, saw their clothes where they'd been thrown at random, in a big-ass hurry. He smiled at the memory and turned back to Jack, fast asleep. Slowly and gently, trying not to wake him, Ennis smoothed Jack's hair from his forehead and placed a soft kiss there, before rising from the bed and heading for the bathroom.

Unbeknownst to him, Jack had woken up when he'd felt that touch and that kiss, but kept his eyes shut, trying to ignore the misery that threatened to rear its ugly head inside him. Today was the day, he was sure of it. Ennis was feeling better, they'd had one more night of passion and now it was time to get back to reality. There was nothing to stop Ennis from going home and marrying Alma, giving her his heart, living a normal life as was expected of him. And where would that leave Jack?

His eyes had opened when he'd heard the shower running and now, unbidden, despite his best efforts, tears were spilling from them, soaking the pillow as he hugged it tightly, muffling his sobs.

Ennis took his time in the shower, thinking. Last night had been amazing, he had to admit. It had been their first time in a bed, and it had felt really special, it meant something. Moreover, he wasn't bothered by the inescapable knowledge he was having sex with a man. But why? In spite of himself, he began to wonder what it might be like to sleep in a bed with Jack every night, and how wonderful would it be to wake up to that sight every morning?

His eyes flew open. _Snap out of it, Del Mar, _he scolded himself. _Can't happen, no way. Was a one-shot thing, always was._

Jack heard the shower stop and quickly wiped his eyes before the door opened. Ennis came out and figuring Jack was still asleep, located his clothes and started getting dressed as quietly as possible.

Ennis looked at Jack again, apparently still asleep. He walked round the bed to Jack's side, sitting down and gently running a finger along his cheek, passing over the bruise. Jack finally opened his eyes and smiled at Ennis, who responded with another gentle kiss on the lips and a small smile of his own, making Jack's heart ache.

_I hate him. I hate how he keeps stringin' me along. He kept me waitin' all damn day after that first night, only to tell me it was a one-shot thing. I hate how he put me on a guilt trip, gettin' me to stay and then ignorin' me for the most of the day. Okay so he apologised for the punch, fair enough. Still wouldn't tell me what's on his mind, though. I hate how he was all over me within five seconds of walkin' through the door and gave me one of the best nights of my life, and now I hate how he's smilin' at me an' touchin' me now, kissin' me like I mean somethin' to him, knowin' he's gonna take it all away today._

_I hate him, I..._

_God help me, I love him._

Ennis was twining his fingers through Jack's hair, and then brought his hand down to cup Jack's face. "Mornin' rodeo," he murmured.

"Mornin'" Jack whispered back. He cleared his throat. "I, uh..."

"Hush now. No need to talk. You wanna get a shower, wake up a little?" Ennis asked, again running his hand through Jack's silky dark locks. Jack nodded. Anything to distract himself. Ennis got up to allow Jack to get out of the bed, earning himself a nice view of Jack's ass as he headed into the bathroom. Ennis sat on the edge of the bed, thinking.

Soon after, Jack was out of the bathroom and looking round for his clothes, both of them taking great pains to avoid each other's eyes. When Jack was finally safe for him to look at, Ennis raised his head. "Hey, you wanna get some breakfast? My treat."

Jack paused. _What the hell? Now he's buyin' me breakfast before he takes off and rips my heart open? He's done enough damage, why can't he just leave me be? Does he have to drag it out?_

His bitter thoughts evaporated when he looked into Ennis's eyes and saw that emotion, the one he didn't dare speak aloud. _Might as well take what's on offer._

"Sure, sounds good."

* * *

><p>Signal wasn't a very big town, but after hunting around for a while they managed to find a nice little diner tucked into a side road. They walked in and took their seats in a booth, looking around. It wasn't particularly fancy, looked like a regular western place, nick-nacks relating to horses and ranching, old photos of the area on the walls, but it was nice.<p>

The waitress, a blonde who looked to be in her thirties, with a kind smile and motherly demeanour, came over. "Mornin' boys. What'll it be?"

They both ordered a breakfast of bacon and eggs with coffee, and the waitress went into the kitchen, leaving them alone, for the diner was empty except for themselves. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife.

Ennis looked at Jack, who had become very interested in examining his fingernails. Ennis ducked his head to meet Jack's eyes. "Penny for yer thoughts, bud." Jack looked up. "I gotta tell ya, Jack, last night...really was somethin' huh?" Jack nodded mutely. It had been really something, which made the whole situation worse. He might have been able to handle their inevitable separation if they hadn't slept together, if the memories of loving Ennis hadn't been so painfully fresh in his mind. As it was, he felt like crawling back into bed and never waking up, knowing that if he did, he wouldn't be waking up to Ennis, so what would be the point of waking at all?

Ennis could see it behind Jack's eyes. The doubts, the fear, the question he wanted to ask but didn't for fear of the answer, dreading the answer he was sure he'd get.

The waitress came back out with their breakfasts and they ate in silence, which had never happened before. They'd be talking about their lives, their families, their childhood. For some strange reason, Jack had been reluctant to talk about his home life with his parents. He'd talked about his mother plenty of times, clearly thought the world of her, but the times he'd talked about his father could be counted on one hand, and Ennis suspected there was a reason for this, something Jack was obviously scared to talk about. He longed to ask, but he didn't know how to broach the subject. He wanted Jack to open up to him.

_Why do you care? _Asked a voice in his head. _What does it really matter? You'll be goin' soon, you'll have your own life to worry about. Your fiancée, your future kids, work. Normal stuff._

He pushed the voice away, not wanting to think about that right now. He couldn't, not when he could see the fear and hurt in Jack's eyes. Jack had stopped and made sure he was okay yesterday, it was only right that he returned the favour.

"Jack? You okay?" he asked, shaking Jack from his feverish thoughts of a cow and calf operation, a ranch, a home, a home with Ennis, a perfect dream that would never come true.

"Huh? Oh...yeah I'm fine. Just a bit hungover an' tired." Nice excuse, he had to admit. He was scared to tell Ennis what was really on his mind.

"Okay...if that's all it is." Ennis was growing worried. He wanted to make sure Jack was okay, but how could he if Jack wouldn't let him in? He sure as hell wasn't a mind reader. He could guess at what was troubling him, but it was frustrating that Jack wasn't allowing him to help. It was as if their positions and behaviour had been switched.

Figuring he'd try again later when Jack had woken up a bit more, he let it drop and they continued their breakfast in silence.

* * *

><p>After breakfast Jack said he needed to get to a convenience store, muttering something about cigarettes. They found one and he went inside, leaving Ennis in the truck, unaware that a war had been raging in his head.<p>

_Why did you care so much about his wellbeing back there? Why did you keep asking? It don't matter, you have a life to get back to._

But did he want to go back to it? He thought about how bad he'd felt yesterday, seeing Jack drive away. Why had he felt it?

_Like you don't know. You weren't ready to let him go, you never will be. It was a miracle he saw you and turned back before you lost sight of him. Are you really gonna let him go now, after last night?_

He had to. He had to let go. Last night shouldn't have happened. They should have slept in the truck, kept themselves away from each other.

_You suggested the motel. Last night happened 'cos you made it so. He's been terrified of tryin' anythin' in case you punch him again. You've probably gone an' confused the hell out of him by jumpin' on him like that. Even more so by the fact you did it face to face. _

It hadn't bothered him, not like before. But why? He was sleeping with a man, the very thing he'd been raised to hate. Why did something so wrong have to feel so right?

A light drizzle had started. He caught sight of Jack, who had joined the line to pay for the cigarettes, and was now throwing dirty looks at the woman at the front, chattering away to the salesgirl, oblivious to the fact she was holding up other customers. Jack turned to look through the window and caught Ennis's eye, rolling his eyes and smiling.

Ennis smiled back, thinking about the look in Jack's eyes. He'd seen that look so many times, when he'd tried to clean Ennis's wound after his run in with the bear, when he'd said something about Ennis speaking more words than he had in two weeks, and of course, numerous times in the tent whenever they made love.

Love. The word had risen up in his head a few times. Was it love in Jack's eyes? Sure looked like it could be, but he'd never seen it before so how could he know for sure? He wasn't exactly an expert.

He thought about his own feelings. Did he _love_ Jack? He cared about him, sure, had a great time up on Brokeback, even before their relationship changed. He'd felt attraction growing whenever Jack smiled and laughed. Even when he'd been bitching about Aguirre, Ennis had had to avert his eyes from how Jack filled out his jeans and god his thighs, while feeling strange sensations down below. Only queers were attracted to other men, so did it make him queer that he was attracted to Jack? He'd told Jack he wasn't queer, and Jack had affirmed that he wasn't, either.

_You know damn well he only said that 'cos he didn't wanna scare you, drive you away. So what if you're queer? Would it be that bad?_

Yes it would be. Queers ended up dead in ditches, on the receiving end of tire irons. He'd believed that for ten years, and when he'd started seeing Alma he figured that would be it, he was safe from that fate for he would never be attracted to a man. Right?

_Wrong. You're in love with him, Del Mar, whether you like it or not. He clearly loves you, and he too is probably scared of what might happen if people found out, but he's willin' to risk it just to be with you. What kind of man are you if you ain't prepared to do the same? You can be a man an' own up to it, or you can be a coward an' hide away, go home an' never see him again, never know what might have been. What's it gonna be?_

His thoughts were gathering momentum now, he knew he had to make a decision.

What if something happened to them? What if he lost Jack? His stomach churned at the thought.

_If you let him go you'll lose him anyway. He might not get killed, but he might find someone else. Even if he doesn't, even if you get back together in five or ten years an' decide to make a go of it, you're gonna be kickin' yourself for those years you lost, what a coward you were._

_You have to do something. Now._

He didn't want to hurt Alma. This wasn't her fault.

_It'll hurt far more if you marry her. Neither of you will be happy. Your heart will be wherever he is and she won't be able to do anythin' to make you happy, she'll be powerless to help you. Break it off, before it's too late. Call her, now. Be a man._

But Earl and Rich...

_At least they had a life together. At least they weren't scared to follow their hearts._

Yeah, and look where it got them.

_They didn't let it rule their lives. They followed their hearts and made the best of the time they had, knowin' what could happen but they did it anyway. By denyin' who you are, what you feel for him, you're lettin' them down, like they died for nothin' You'll be lettin' Jack down, lettin' yourself down. You have a chance to follow your heart. Take it._

But his daddy said...

_Your daddy ain't here. Ten years is long enough._

* * *

><p>Jack eventually managed to pay for his cigarettes and walked outside, muttering about chatty women who were far too cheerful for this hour of the morning. It was raining harder by now and when he looked up he was surprised to see Ennis out of the truck and heading for the phone box.<p>

"Hey," Jack called after him. "What're you doin'?"

Ennis turned, looked like a rabbit caught in headlights. "I, uh..." he swallowed. "I'm gonna go call Alma."

Jack's heart sank. _So it begins, _he thought miserably. _It's all over._ He shook his head, tears gathering at his eyes, and turned abruptly. Ennis caught the look in his eyes and frowned. "Jack?" He walked towards him and put a hand on his shoulder, which was immediately shoved off, accompanied by an icy glare. The angry thoughts that had been bubbling inside him finally broke the surface.

"Don't touch me." He spat. Ennis was dumbstruck. Jack had _never _spoken to him like that before. Jack started to walk away, Ennis tried to follow. "Jack, what's..."

He turned. "Don't let me keep you! Go an' phone yer girl, go tell her how much you love her an' you'll be home soon! Just do me a favour an' don't rub my nose in it!" He started walking again. Ennis was confused. That hadn't been his intention at all. But something inside him said _don't give up._ He kept walking after Jack.

"Jack I can't go home! I can't marry her!"

"Course you can!" he called over his shoulder. "You've had yer fun, now you can get on with a nice little normal life."

"I don't want that life!" Ennis sped up, trying to keep up with Jack, who turned again.

"Course ya do! This was just a one-shot thing, remember?" he bit out, hurt and heartbreak in his eyes. Ennis groaned inwardly. How he wished he could take those words back now.

"Jack, I don't love her!" He was starting to panic. How could he find the words to make Jack understand? How could he keep hold of Jack if he wasn't letting him even try?

"You must, you proposed to her didn't ya? You must love her!" he didn't sound bitter, was just stating the simple and awful truth.

Ennis thought for a moment. "I thought I did...I proposed to her cos I thought I could make her happy, I thought it was what I was supposed to do!"

"Yep, an' now you've had yer little summer of fun, get it out of yer system before ya settle down. I was just a way of you gettin' experience so's you'd know what to do on yer weddin' night!" his voice broke with emotion. Tears were flowing freely now, only matched by the pouring rain all around them.

Ennis suddenly knew why Jack was reacting like this. _He loves you. You're breakin' his heart._ There was only one thing for it, only one way to get Jack's attention.

"Jack, I don't love her," he repeated. "I..."

"You do, you're just confused by what's happened between us. A few months down the line an' you'll see how much you love her. She's the love of yer life." He was deliberately trying to push Ennis away to avoid the pain tearing into his heart. He turned again and continued walking.

"Jack, she ain't the love of my life." _It's now or never. _He took a deep breath. "She can't be, not when you are!"

That did it. At long last, Jack froze and stood there. He was hardly daring to believe what he'd just heard, convinced he was hearing things. Ennis took this as a sign to walk right up to Jack and wrap his arms around him.

"Jack...I love you. Ain't ever loved nobody but you." He buried his face in Jack's neck. A great weight had been lifted off his shoulders at finally admitting how he felt. As for Jack, he finally believed what he was hearing, and while his body may be standing here on Earth, his heart and soul were way up on cloud nine. He took Ennis's arms and turned himself in them, facing Ennis. Deep brown eyes met clear blue ones. They were both crying now, crying and smiling at the revelation passed between them. Jack kissed him deeply, tongues twisting together, hands all over each others' faces.

They broke apart, keeping minimal space between their lips. "I love you too Ennis." Jack whispered. Ennis had suspected Jack loved him, yet it was wonderfully surreal to hear those words, and he pondered about the effects those words had had on Jack. He figured he would think about it later, and focused instead on what was happening right now. He drew Jack into his arms and hugged him tightly, hands all over his back and in his hair.

They held each other like that for a few beats, rain gathering on their shoulders, yet they were completely oblivious to the world around them.

Something niggled at Jack's mind, and he drew back. "So...what happens now? You love me, an' I love you, but where does this leave us? Are we...together?" He was dreading the answer.

Ennis nodded slowly, and smiled. "Yeah, I guess we are, if you wanna be." He looked at Jack closely. "I know what yer askin, Jack. Yer expectin' me to say I love you but I'm still gonna marry Alma, aren't ya?" Jack hung his head. That was _exactly _what he'd been afraid of.

Ennis lifted his chin, and kissed him again, lightly. "Jack, I meant everythin' I just said, includin' the part about callin' it off with Alma. I can't love her like she deserves when my heart's with you. You don't deserve to get yer heart broken by me, an' neither does she but she don't deserve to marry someone who don't love her. It ain't fair on her. I can give both of you what you deserve."

Ennis wrapped Jack in his arms again, knowing somewhere in his heart, with some luck, they might be able to make this work.

* * *

><p>Even though it was still only just morning, their shouting match and the release of their suppressed emotions had exhausted them. They decided to go back to the motel for a while, not necessarily to have sex, they would have the rest of their lives for that, they knew now. They just wanted to lie down and rest, which they did, collapsing onto the bed and sighing.<p>

Neither spoke for a few minutes. Then Jack broke the silence. "Ennis?"

"Hmm?" Ennis turned to face Jack, eyes staring at the ceiling.

"What happened? I mean...I never thought I'd be hearin' them words from you. What made you spit it out?"

Ennis turned onto his side and caressed Jack's face, who turned to look at him, fixed him with those deep blue pools. "I was scared Jack."

"What of?" he asked softly. He never thought he'd be hearing _those _words from Ennis either.

Ennis bit his lip. He'd never told Jack about Earl and Rich, didn't want to bring up the whole 'queer' thing again, not now. He saw a way around it. "Well...fellas doin' what we've been doin'...not everyone would see eye to eye with us about it. We could get hurt, Jack," he whispered, tracing the fading bruise on Jack's cheek. It seemed alright to look at it now, knowing he was making up for it now.

Jack nodded. He was fully aware of the overall lack of tolerance in the world, but his love for Ennis and desire to be with him had overtaken it. Dangerous, perhaps, but he couldn't help it. "But then..." Ennis continued. "I thought about how I was feelin', an' I was more scared of losin' you by lettin' you go. I knew I'd regret it if I didn't say somethin'. I was pushed into a corner. I pushed _myself _into a corner. Then I saw in yer eyes how you felt, an' I just decided it was now or never. I had to say somethin'. There was only one thing I _could _say." He finished, still stroking Jack's cheek.

Jack digested this information, thanking his lucky stars he'd seen Ennis duck into the alleyway, and what it had led to. It had been close, too close. He couldn't think about that now. He'd just been given everything his heart had wanted for months, ever since he'd met Ennis and grown attracted to him.

There was another, more pressing reason why he couldn't think about this. Ennis had started nibbling and softly biting at his neck, seemed determined to leave a hickey. Jack chuckled and ran his hands along Ennis's back, going down to cup his ass and in due time felt something pressing into his hip. Ennis drew back, eyes glittering, which was all the incentive Jack needed to yank their mouths together, tongues running along teeth, all around the mouth as their fingers got to work on clothing.

When they were both completely naked, Ennis knew what he wanted to do. He looked at Jack and started to move down his body towards his groin. They had done this a few times and Jack sure was looking forward to it. Ennis took him in his mouth, sucking and licking and Jack shuddered and bucked, hips rolling on the bed. He clutched at the sheets, thrusting and straining for his release and Ennis sucked harder and quicker, grabbing at Jack's ass with his hands and sending him crazy with his mouth.

Jack yelled and came, head spinning as he collapsed again, chest heaving and sweat glistening. Ennis felt his own climax bloom somewhere at the bottom of the bed and also collapsed, breathing heavily. He crawled up again and laid his arms on Jack's chest, head on his arms. "Like that?" he asked, smirking.

"Christ," Jack breathed. "You really do love me huh?"

Ennis chuckled quietly and kissed him. "You got that right, rodeo."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

After their impromptu bed romp, Ennis and Jack were now lying back, Jack against the headboard, Ennis in his arms. They were smoking Jack's new packet of cigarettes and were basking in the blissful silence. The rain had now stopped and the sun was peeking through the drapes, sending rays of golden light across the room. It was only just after noon and yet they had no intention of moving, perfectly happy to just lie here with each other.

Only one thing could have made Jack want to move right now. He sighed. "Hey, you hungry? I'm thinkin' I could go back to that store, get us some sandwiches or somethin', whaddaya say?"

Ennis rubbed Jack's arm, draped around his neck. "I'd say that's a good idea, bud...'cept I don't wanna move, I'd rather stay like this." He craned his neck to look up at Jack, smiling, and Jack leaned down to kiss him.

"Well, I ain't too happy about leaving this bed either, but I sure am hungry. C'mon, ease up." He tried to push Ennis gently up off him, but Ennis had other ideas. Quickly stubbing out his cigarette, he sat up, but before Jack could get up, Ennis pinned him back and straddled him, grinning mischievously.

"What's this then?" Jack asked, smirking.

"If you want me to move, you gotta convince me." He kissed Jack slowly and sensuously, tongue flicking out to meet Jack's, then gazed into his eyes. Jack rubbed his knee up against Ennis's crotch, and Ennis moaned at the contact. Jack grinned. "That enough to convince ya, cowboy?"

"For now. You'll suffer fer it later though." He released Jack's wrists and finally let him up.

"Lucky me." Jack replied as he got dressed. Ennis lay on the bed again, arms behind his head. Jack gulped when he looked at him and felt himself getting aroused again, which did not go unnoticed by Ennis.

"You sure you wanna leave, rodeo?" he whispered, dark eyes glittering again. Jack shook his head and made to leave. Ennis was being more open about their sexual activity, which Jack could only guess was a result of him releasing his emotions at last. He seemed to finally be getting used to them being in a relationship. He could live with that.

Back at the convenience store, Jack was picking out sandwiches to take back. He suppressed a laugh when he saw a can of Bettermost Beans on the shelf, reminding him of the time Ennis had shot the elk because he'd been bitching about the food. He picked out several sandwiches, not entirely sure of Ennis's preferences, and made his way to the cash register, thankful for the lack of an overly chatty woman. As he waited, he felt a prickling on the back of his neck. He was being watched. He turned to find a couple of guys not-so-subtly staring at him and whispering to each other. He felt dread creep into his stomach and turned to the front again.

He tried to make out what they were saying, and caught snatches of conversation.

"Joe Aguirre...Brokeback...Joel Smith..." Jack's heart pounded. _Oh holy fuck. _They must have heard. He figured he could take it as long as they kept their distance. He was terrified of finding out just how many people knew, and what they knew. He was _really _terrified of what would happen if Ennis found out. That couldn't happen. It would wreck everything. They'd come so far in just a short space of time, and everything was still fragile.

He managed to pay for the sandwiches and walked out on trembling legs, casting glances over his shoulder frequently, but he hadn't been followed. Just outside the motel room, he gathered his composure and tried to get back into his normal mindset so Ennis wouldn't suspect anything. He turned the door handle and stepped in.

Ennis was still lying there, deep in thought. He'd been wondering what they were going to do, now that they were together. They didn't have enough money between them for a place of their own, Aguirre had cut a whole month's pay after all, so then what? Get jobs on another ranch maybe? Live in Jack's truck? He could admit that he liked the notion, of him and Jack sticking together no matter what. That was the kind of thing you did when you were with someone you love, right? Against all odds?

Ennis pondered the words Jack had spoken when they'd said goodbye by his truck yesterday. "I might go up to my daddy's place an' give him a hand through the winter," Jack had said. Ennis wondered if that would be their plan. Sure seemed like the logical thing to do. Two fellas in love, strong guys used to hard work, they could be a pretty good team. Jack had mentioned a few times that a lot of work needed doing on the dilapidating old ranch, and Ennis figured they could do that work, fix it up.

His thoughts had been interrupted by Jack returning. He'd gotten dressed soon after he'd left as he was growing cold, and now he sat up and smiled at Jack, who smiled back. "Hey there, cowboy. Got us some food, right here." He walked to his side of the bed and stretched out next to Ennis, kissing him.

Ennis stroked Jack's cheek. "Hey darlin'" he murmured. Jack blinked. Ennis had _never _called him that before, probably thought it sounded queer, but he'd said it with such sincerity and love in his eyes that Jack thought his heart would burst. He pulled Ennis on top of him and kissed him back with more fervor. Hands were roaming and clothes were being shed again.

The sandwiches lay forgotten.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, they needed fresh air, so walked out into the fields surrounding Signal. They wanted to hold hands, but were wary of anybody who might see them. Still, they were relishing the fact that they were <em>together<em>, in every sense of the word. They found a nice patch of lush green grass, partly hidden by tall trees and sprawled out, staring up at the big blue endless sky, with big fluffy clouds that, amusingly, reminded them of the sheep they had tended up on the mountain. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and that they were headed into a brand new chapter of their lives.

Ennis watched the clouds for a while, and noticed something. "Hey, Jack, look," he said, pointing up. Jack looked up in that direction. A pair of clouds were passing against each other, and as they watched, the clouds melded together to form a love heart. Jack's own heart was filled with bliss as he saw it, then turned to see Ennis looking at him.

"Just like us, huh?"

"How d'you mean?" Jack asked.

"Like us, two halves of a whole." Ennis replied, smiling widely. Jack's breath caught in his throat. That was so...romantic. He had never expected Ennis to say something like that, even if it were true. Ennis saw him blinking back tears and drew him into his arms, holding him tightly. He knew his words had surprised those tears out of Jack, yet he couldn't deny their truth. He truly felt like he'd found his other half. Even before their relationship had changed, while they were still just friends, he had found himself enjoying Jack's company immensely. That boy knew how to get under his skin, alright. He'd never had such a good time in his life and found himself wishing he could stay up there with Jack forever. He hadn't yet figured out if he was queer, but one thing was certain: while Jack was the love of his life, he was also his best friend. They were soulmates, he felt sure of it. He sure hoped that one day he would have the words to tell Jack all of this, but all he could do for now was somehow try to show it so Jack would know it.

He relinquished his grip on Jack, who now looked deep into his eyes and kissed him. Jack loved kissing Ennis, had done ever since that second night in the tent. God how he remembered the look on Ennis's face, scared and confused yet so full of desire, like he had been pulled out of himself. Since then, every time they kissed, Jack had set himself a fun little challenge to try and get that look on Ennis's face again, knowing that it was him who did that to Ennis.

"Jack?" whispered Ennis, running his hands through Jack's hair.

"Hmm?"

"What do we do now?"

"Whaddaya mean?" Jack looked at Ennis, who looked thoughtful.

"Well...what are our plans? Can't stay in Signal forever. Didn't ya say somethin' about goin' up to Lightnin' Flat? Helpin' yer daddy through the winter?"

There was no mistaking it this time. Ennis could _feel _Jack tensing in his arms. Something wasn't right there, he was sure of it now. Why did Jack, brave and strong and confident, seem to quail under mention of his father?

Jack seemed to realise that Ennis could feel his reaction as he lay in his arms, and relaxed his muscles. "Uh, yeah I guess I did. Why, is that what you wanna do?" he covered up his momentary discomfort by nuzzling their faces together.

"Sure. We could fix the place up, get it back into shape. Then maybe in the spring we could start thinkin' about gettin' us a place of our own." Ennis smiled. _A place of our own._ He liked the sound of that. He pulled Jack to him again as they kissed in the grass.

Jack's earlier fantasies emerged. A ranch of their own, a home together. A perfect dream he thought would never come true, yet now maybe, just maybe, it could.

* * *

><p>They had decided that their time in Signal was coming to an end, and that it was time to put their plans into action. First on the list was gas, for Jack had sheepishly admitted there wasn't enough to get them very far, let alone Lightning Flat. Ennis remembered passing a gas station on his way to Aguirre's trailer on that fateful first day, and managed to point out the way.<p>

Ennis shifted around as Jack filled up the truck, and when he started walking toward the building, Ennis stopped him. "Wait, I'll cover this."

Jack was surprised. "You sure? It's my truck, my responsibility."

Ennis nodded. "It's okay, you paid fer the sandwiches yesterday, it's my turn to do something for you." Jack relented and Ennis walked off.

_You've already done more than enough fer me, _Jack thought happily as he leaned against the truck.

Ennis stepped inside, and now it was his turn to be held up in a line. He dug his hands in his pockets, kicking his feet about. He might be more open about his feelings now, but old habits die hard. He took no notice when two guys joined the line behind him. But soon he was forced to as he heard a conversation that made him regret coming in here.

"He's out there now, leanin' against that shitty truck like he ain't got a care in the world."

The other man huffed. "Surprised he's got the guts to show his face 'round here after last summer."

"What exactly happened again?"

"He was up here last summer, with another young lad, Joel Smith. Herdin' sheep up on Brokeback. 'Bout two weeks after they went up Joel came back down. Saw him with my own eyes, headin' back to Aguirre's trailer. Sure looked troubled. Rumour is somethin' happened the night before, that one made a pass at Joel, tried to _fuck _with him. Dunno if they did, but the look on Joel's face sure said somethin'," he finished darkly. Ennis felt his heart rate increase. He was starting to shake.

"Goddamn. Reckon Aguirre knew?"

"No idea. If he did, I can't see him hirin' him again after that. Don't want folks like that workin' fer him. Anyway, thing is, he was sent up with another one this summer, I'm told." Ennis's stomach flopped over. "No idea who, but I sure feel sorry fer him, if he's tried it on again. Probably makes it a regular thing. He's only young, probably takes the summer away from his old man an' comes up here, claimin' to be lookin' fer work but really lookin' fer somethin' to fuck."

It was this statement that frightened Ennis the most. Had Jack _planned _all this? Becoming friends, getting Ennis to trust him, getting him too drunk to leave camp and _luring _him into the tent? It just couldn't be true. Jack would never do that, would he? After all the ground they'd covered over the last 24 hours or so, confessions of _love, _had it been a seductive trick all along? He loved Jack so much, he knew that now, was planning on giving up everything he knew for him, building a life with him and now everything was in limbo. What was he supposed to do now?

He looked out the window and saw Jack, leaning against the truck, smoking. His heart filled with love at the sight of him, yet it was now clouded, tainted with doubt. Did he even mean anything to Jack? He must, Jack had agreed to take him up to Lightning Flat, they'd talked about living together, ways of making it work. Jack wouldn't do that if it was just a fling, would he? Would he be back here in Signal next summer for another round? Regardless of whether or not he and Ennis were together?

His eyes threatened to fill with tears of despair, he blinked them back furiously. Only one person would have the answers he sought, the person who had made their relationship what it was, and now the person who could tear it apart.

_I gotta talk to Jack, _he thought, _he wouldn't lie if I asked him, I know he wouldn't. He'd tell me. If he can convince me he didn't plan this, it'll all be fine, it'll be in the past._

_Please, Jack, don't lie to me on this one._

* * *

><p>Several minutes later, Ennis emerged and Jack's face lit up as he approached, but his grin quickly faded when he caught the look on Ennis's face. He looked pale but determined. Ennis stopped right in front of him, and slowly raised his eyes to meet Jack's. The look in them was unreadable, but Jack didn't like it at all.<p>

"Ennis? You okay there?"

Ennis's face twitched, but his voice was nonchalant. "Oh I'm okay. How's Joel Smith?"

Jack nearly fainted. _He knows. How the fuck did this happen?_ His question was answered when he caught sight of two men leaving the gas station. The same two men who had been watching him and whispering in the convenience store. His throat went dry as he looked back at Ennis. He couldn't speak.

"What happened up there Jack? Last summer? Did you an' him...you know?" Ennis's voice was a deathly whisper. Jack _knew _that there was no way he could lie about this. He hung his head and nodded miserably.

"Yeah...we did. We got drunk...ended up in the tent...I...I grabbed him...not the same way I grabbed you...but we did it."

"Hmph. Sounds familiar don't it?" Ennis felt like his heart was breaking but wasn't about to let it show.

"The next mornin'...he was off, back down the mountain without a word. Couldn't cope with all those sheep that night. That was the storm that killed forty-two of 'em. It _was _my fault." The guilt and burning shame of his actions started eating at him again.

"So when I left that mornin'..."

"I thought you'd done the same. I was so fuckin' scared. Not 'cos of the sheep, but I was scared you'd gone for good, that I wouldn't see you no more."

"But I came back. I played right into your hands, didn't I Twist?"

Jack's head snapped up. "Huh?"

"I gave you what you wanted. A summer fuckbuddy. Well don't let me keep ya, summer's nearly over. You go on back home. Save yer energy fer the next poor bastard to believe they mean somethin' to ya." He walked off.

Jack was stunned. "What the...Ennis!" His mind worked furiously, trying to figure out what had gotten to him. Then it clicked.

"Christ, Ennis, I didn't plan this!"

Ennis whirled around. "Oh really? Then what is it? Coincidence that you had two guys in two consecutive summers? I ain't stupid Jack!"

"I'll tell you what it is. When I turned up at Aguirre's trailer that first day, I swore to myself I was gonna behave this time, keep my hands to myself no matter what. I tried, but you know what? I couldn't, cos they just so happened to put me with the love of _my _life!"

"I tried so hard to ignore it, I wanted ya so damn bad but I knew I shouldn't. I didn't mean to get you drunk that night, I only invited ya into the tent to stop you yammerin' in the cold and waking me up. Then after that, being so close to you I couldn't take it no more. I thought you was feelin' the same so I figured it would be alright! I was scared that mornin' cos I thought I'd lost you, cos damn you, I already loved you!" His tears were running down his face and his chest was heaving.

"I loved you ever since that first night, maybe even before, an' all you've ever done is string me along. You kept me waitin' all day, panickin', just to tell me it was a one-shot thing. You get me to stay to make sure yer alright, then hardly speak a word to me all day. You were all over me like a rash last night, made me love ya even more if it was possible, then you buy me breakfast an' I'm still thinkin it's the last time I'm gonna see you, you give no sign at all what's on yer mind. You were holdin' all the cards and there was nothin' I could do! Then after all that, you tell me you love me an' wanna be with me, an' now _you're _accusin' _me_ of lyin' an' deceivin' ya? You can't say nothin' about that, not after everythin' you've done! I hate you so damn much but God forgive me, I love you! I can't take it, I can't..." his knees gave way and he knelt there, head in his hands, completely broken.

Ennis was stunned. He hadn't spared a thought to how his mixed signals had affected Jack, but as he thought about it, he could understand how it had driven Jack crazy, and now he stood here accusing Jack of the very thing that he himself was guilty of: deception. Jack was right, he didn't have a leg to stand on, and this had driven Jack to breaking point. He had no right to start on Jack, not when his own behaviour had been so inexcusable. They were lovers, they were supposed to be trying to make this work, not driving each other up the wall. They had to stick together, not fight.

Ennis walked over to Jack, who was shaking violently and sobbing. He helped him to his feet and made him meet his eyes. Jack's eyes were bloodshot and he was trembling all over, scared Ennis wasn't finished with his accusations, or might even punch him. Instead, Ennis pulled him into a loving embrace, and Jack desperately clung to him, still sobbing.

"Shh...shh..." Ennis soothed, trying to calm him. "Jack...I'm so sorry, darlin'...I never gave it a thought, I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts, I was so confused. I shoulda paid more attention...I'm so sorry." Jack couldn't speak. They'd got everything out in the open now, and both of them felt a great weight lift from them.

Ennis pulled back and kissed him, holding his face gently. "I love you," he whispered. "I got no right unloadin' on you like that."

"I deserved it, I shoulda told you before, but I was so scared how you'd react, that I'd lose you. I swear Ennis, I didn't plan this. Any of it. I tried so hard, but I couldn't help it, I was so in love with you."

Ennis could see the truth in his eyes. He hadn't planned it, but his feelings had been too strong to ignore. Surely that counted for something? Surely that said something about Jack's true feelings?

Ennis stroked Jack's cheek. "I believe you," he replied, looking straight into Jack's eyes so he'd know he meant it. "C'mon, you need to go lie down."

* * *

><p>They collapsed onto the bed again and Ennis pulled Jack close to him, sensing that he was still feeling fragile. He pressed his lips in Jack's hair and stroked his cheek. Jack was silent but Ennis could see it was working. It needed more though. He needed some way of cheering Jack up, but couldn't think what it might be. Sex was always a good option, sure enough, but after his "fuckbuddy" slur he thought it might not be appropriate just yet.<p>

He smiled when an idea popped into his head. He looked down at Jack. "Tell me about it."

"Hmm? What?" Jack murmured.

"This ranch you've been thinkin' about. Our ranch. What would it be like?" That did the trick. Jack's whole body seemed to come back to life again after sitting there slumped in Ennis's arms. "Really? You wanna know?" His eyes were alight with excitement.

"Sure. You gotta have some ideas."

Jack thought for a moment, back to his earlier fantasies of their own ranch. "Well...I guess I was picturin' a white brick house with maybe a red roof, a proper farmhouse, you know? Cosy livin' room, a big couch fer me an' you to cuddle up on in front of the fire when it's all rainin' outside...a big kitchen fer us to mess around in. I know I can't cook but I sure wouldn't mind learnin'...an' the best bit...our own bedroom. We can go to sleep together every night an' wake up together every mornin'..." he sighed wistfully.

Ennis thought it sounded wonderful. He was more and more looking forward to building this dream ranch for Jack. He didn't have any clear ideas yet of what he wanted in a ranch, but Jack's thoughts sounded perfect. "What kind of ranch would we run?" he asked.

"I was thinkin' maybe a cow an' calf operation, you know, breedin, sellin' meat, maybe even go into dairy too. We could have horses cos we love 'em so much. We could have some cats to keep mice out of the barn, an' some dogs maybe, I'd sure love a little puppy. It could be a real sweet life, Ennis."

"It sure could, darlin'. I know it's gonna be hard work, Jack, not just buildin' up the place but fer us too, we're gonna have to work on...you know, us, our relationship."

"I know."

"I think we can make it work though, so long as we stick together." He kissed Jack lightly and gazed down at him.

Jack started running a hand up and down Ennis's leg. "Could we maybe stick together right now?" he breathed. Ennis paused. He hadn't thought it would be a good time yet, but apparently Jack thought it was.

"Uh...you sure? After what I said out there..."

Jack kissed him again. "I'm sure," he whispered softly. "I need you..."

Ennis saw in his eyes that he really wanted to do this. They both needed it, and each other. He pushed Jack gently onto his back and kissed him more firmly as Jack started stripping them both. When all clothes were removed and lying around the room at random, as had become a habit, Ennis pushed Jack's legs apart and slid inside. Jack let out a groan. "Gotta get some lube or somethin' one of these days."

Ennis chuckled and started to move, slow and easy as Jack wrapped his legs around his waist. Ennis dove into Jack's mouth, tongues twisting together as Jack willed him to go harder and faster, trying to tell him with his eyes. Ennis got the message and did so, in and out and faster and faster as they both moaned. He could feel Jack's hardness pressing into him, knew it wouldn't be long. Jack's hands were all over his ass and his hands were on Jack's face, raining kisses over his face and mouth. They both cried out obscenities to the heavens and they came together, something that had never happened before. Their eyes were locked together as they rode it out, and Ennis collapsed onto Jack's chest, and Jack wrapped his arms around him.

Kissing Ennis's forehead, he whispered "Thank you."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_He was here again, ten years older, walking down that dirt road, grassy mounds on either side, dark shadows in front, wind whistling all around. Only this time, he was alone. He continued to walk, legs pitching him forward even as he tried to resist, not wanting to know what awaited him at the end of it. _

_Against his will, he turned about halfway down, looking toward an irrigation ditch. He could remember his father taking him and K.E here when they were kids, showing them Earl's rotting corpse, a vivid reminder of what would happen if they committed such a sin. _

_He lifted his eyes to where he'd seen Earl's body, starting with the boots...only they were different. He rose his eyes further still, and the jeans were different. The shirt, though covered in blood, was clearly a deep blue colour. No matter how hard he tried to resist, he was forced to look further up, at the face, unmistakeable. The mouth was shaped in a way that might have once indicated dimples, a mouth made for smiling, but was now covered in blood, as was the nose. And the eyes...wide open in death, a deep blue to match the shirt, had once sparkled and been full of life, but were now empty...a black cowboy hat lay some feet away, next to a discarded tire iron._

Ennis shot bolt upright in bed, sweating and shaking. Unfortunately for Jack, they'd fallen asleep in each other's arms, and he'd nearly fallen out of bed when Ennis jolted awake.

"What the-" he started, then looked at Ennis, deathly white, sweating profusely. Jack grew alarmed. "Ennis?" he shuffled over to him, placed a hand on his shoulder. "What is it? Look at me, Ennis. What is it?" he shook Ennis's shoulder and Ennis turned to look at him, looked at him as though he was looking through him, couldn't see him properly.

"Ennis...?" Jack tried again, thinking that Ennis had gone into some kind of shock. He started to become frightened. This had never happened before and he had no idea what to do. "Ennis, please! Talk to me."

Ennis finally seemed to see Jack, but was struggling to look at him without visualising his face covered in blood. Jack picked up on his lover's fright and held him close, rocking him gently, caressing the back of his neck.

"Shh...it's alright, it's alright. You're okay."

Ennis finally found his voice. It seemed easier to talk without seeing Jack's beautiful face, as it meant he didn't have to picture it mutilated and torn apart. "Jack...I got somethin' to tell you...didn't wanna, but...it's eatin' me up."

"It's okay, take your time. I'm here for you." Jack whispered, nuzzling his face into Ennis's neck as Ennis burrowed closer. _What in the hell is this?_

"When I was nine years old...there was these two old guys back home. Earl an' Rich. They ranched up together. Folks used to tease 'em, talk about 'em. They was tough, seemed to handle it alright, but then..."

"One day, they found Earl dead in an irrigation ditch...took a tire iron to him...left him to die, all 'cos he was queer, ranched up with another fella." He couldn't go on.

Jack was speechless. He knew well enough about homophobia, but he couldn't fathom the idea of people doing something like that. "Hey...did you see this?" he breathed, half-knowing and dreading the answer.

"Yeah...my daddy took me an' my brother K.E to see it...made us look at him lyin' there, warnin' us not to turn out that way, an' what would happen if we did. Didn't show my sister, wasn't nothin' for a girl to be seein'. When I met Alma, I thought I would be safe, but..." he trailed off. Jack didn't need to hear the rest. He now knew why Ennis had denied being queer. He was scared that if he admitted it, it would leave him to the same fate. He felt disgusted that a father would take two young boys to see something like that. Who could do that to their kids?

"So then...is that what your nightmare was? A flashback?"

Ennis paused. He wanted to tell him, hated lying to Jack, but he just couldn't bring himself to hold those images in his mind, for fear that they might come true if he did. "Uh...yeah."

"An' since you an' me got together...you're worried the same's gonna happen to us." Jack was piecing it together. Ennis's hesitation over whether or not to leave with Jack made more sense now, knowing that he'd been torn between these fears and what he was feeling in his heart.

Jack drew back and looked at Ennis, who still looked scared. Jack leaned in and kissed him gently, relieved when he felt Ennis kissing him back. "Listen to me Ennis, you listen good. I can't promise it's gonna be easy, any of it, an' I can't promise there's gonna be no threats. You heard those guys in the gas station, there's gonna be plenty more like that, I reckon. I know it's a huge risk, but we gotta stick together, like you said before. I love you, and I'm here for you." He finished, hoping for a response, gazing squarely into Ennis's eyes.

Ennis unglued his jaw. "I love you too, Jack...that's why I'm so scared." His lip trembled and Jack laid them both out on the bed, holding Ennis close again as his tears hit Jack's bare chest.

"We're gonna be okay, cowboy...so long as we got each other." He whispered as Ennis slowly started falling asleep again, knowing he would be safe in Jack's strong arms, and everything would be alright as long as Jack was here, alive and safe.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Jack did his best to distract Ennis from the night before by keeping him talking about their plans. It seemed to work, for Ennis was soon pretty much back to normal, eager to share some love or just talk. They had spoken about the two guys sniffing around town, and it was decided that since they would only recognise Jack, Ennis would take care of any errands that might need doing, getting supplies and such, while Jack stayed at the motel, where his location wouldn't be known. Jack hated being cooped up in a small room all day, but could grudgingly admit the logic. Ennis had decided to call Alma and tell her his job was finished, and that he would be headed back to Sage in a day or so, and arrange a time to talk to her, for he had something important to tell her. Jack wasn't worried now like he had been before, because he knew that Ennis was planning on doing the decent thing and making all three of them happier in the long run. Then after that, Ennis wanted to talk to his brother. He hadn't had the chance to talk to him upon arriving in Signal in May, it had been too early in the morning, and since K.E had planned on coming to the wedding Ennis figured he may as well tell him the truth, save him a journey. This prospect filled them both with apprehension, as Ennis had pointed out that K.E had shared the "Earl and Rich lesson". But since making this important decision about his future, Ennis was adamant on taking some responsibility, owning up to who he was, which Jack found admirable.<p>

Ennis took the truck to the convenience store, and once more headed for the phone box. He took a deep breath, inserted the coins and dialled.

"Hello?" answered a soft voice. Ennis swallowed. _Come on, you can do this._

"Uh...hey Alma, it's me."

"Ennis? This is a surprise, wasn't expecting you down for another month yet." Alma sounded surprised but happy that he'd called her.

"Yeah...there was a storm comin', Aguirre told us to bring the sheep down. Just got back in Signal." Well, there was at least a grain of truth there.

"Oh...so are you comin' home, then?" Alma asked hopefully. Shame was creeping into his stomach. He pushed it away, knowing he was doing the right thing.

"Yeah, be there in maybe a day or so. I wanna go see my brother first though. Didn't get the chance in May."

"Okay. I'll be here anyway, my mama an' daddy have gone for a few weeks, visitin' my mama's brother. Takin' some time away before the weddin'."

"Mmhmm. Well, I gotta go, I'll see you in a few days, okay?"

"Bye Ennis, I lo-" The operator cut them off, instructing him to insert more change. _Saved by the bell, _he thought.

When he got back to the motel, Jack was lying on the bed, thinking. He was worried. What if Ennis heard her voice and realised he loved her after all? Or what if they got to Sage, he saw her again and then decided he loved her? He was terrified of that happening. They were so close to making this a reality, the slightest thing could tear it apart, but a big thing, like a loving fiancée, that was something else.

The thoughts running amok in his head were shut off by the sound of the door handle turning. Jack's face lit up when he saw Ennis, who looked equally glad to see him. Jack rose from the bed and hugged him tightly.

"You talk to her?"

"Yep."

"And...?"

"Told her I'll be back in Sage in a few days, arranged a time to talk."

Jack was silent, wanting to ask but not wanting to. Ennis knew what was on his mind.

"I'm gonna tell her the weddin's off. I'm gonna be real nice about it, gonna make sure she gets that we'll both be happier. She deserves that much. I meant what I said, Jack. I wanna be with you."

Those words were music to Jack's ears. His doubts disappeared as he looked at Ennis, saw his eyes full of love. They kissed and held each other, melting through each other. Ennis drew back. "Much as I wanna take this further, I gotta go see my brother, the longer I put it off the worse it'll get, the harder it'll get."

Jack bit back a suggestive response to this last statement and nodded. "Yeah I guess so."

"Hey...you wanna come with me?"

Jack looked at him. "You sure? You said you're gonna tell him the truth, but...do you think it's wise to have me there?"

Ennis nodded. "Yeah, we'll be a...uh...united front." Jack looked surprised but saw that Ennis was right. K.E would probably find out one day anyway, it was probably better to get it over with now.

"Okay, but...what about those guys? If they're still around..."

"K.E lives on the outskirts, I doubt we'll see 'em there."

Jack nodded again, but he had a bad feeling about this.

* * *

><p>K.E's house, as Ennis had said, was on the outskirts of Signal, there weren't too many people living out here. They pulled up outside the small ranch house and looked over, both feeling apprehensive. On the way there, Ennis had told Jack a bit about him and his relatively new wife. They'd married in the spring of that year, and by all accounts were eager to start a family. Jack listened, but could hardly take any of it in. All he could think about was the fact that K.E had seen Earl's body that day ten years ago, and while Ennis now had a good reason to try and work past his fears, K.E had no such motivation.<p>

Ennis let out a breath and turned to Jack. "Well...here goes. You ready?"

_No, _Jack thought. How could he possibly be ready for this? He'd go along with whatever plan Ennis cooked up, but god, he would never be ready. This could turn ugly. Ennis saw the fear in his eyes and reached over to him.

"S'okay, rodeo, we can do this. We gotta stick together remember?" he said, pulling Jack close and kissing him gently. Jack managed a weak smile. That seemed to be the new principle for their relationship. It sure was a good one.

They got out of the truck and headed up to the front door. They looked at each other one last time, and then Ennis took a deep breath and knocked. For a few seconds they wondered if he was out, but then heard footsteps from within.

The door was answered by a man, a little taller than Ennis, with the same blond hair but no curls. He had a pinched sort of face, his eyes looked like they were frequently screwed up. He was wearing typical cowboy gear, shirt and jeans but no hat. He looked at Ennis, blinked in surprise...and then looked at Jack, who would never forget the look he received. It was a look of pure disgust. Jack was taken aback, and wondered if he knew the guys who had been talking about him.

"Hey, K.E," offered Ennis, who had also caught the look Jack was given, and alarm bells were going off in his head. ""How are you?"

K.E looked back at him, lip curling in distaste. "You got a lotta nerve, comin' to see me. With him." He spat, fixing Jack with another dirty look.

"What? 'Course I came to see you, yer my brother. Can we come in?"

"You ain't no brother of mine." He replied, giving Ennis his own dirty look. "My brother would never turn out to be no queer. Not after the warnin' his daddy gave him." Ennis was dumbstruck, as was Jack. _How does he know?_

"What...? How do you...?"

"Ol' Joe Aguirre came to see me a coupla days ago, told me he'd seen you an' that one up on Brokeback, doin' queer stuff." He spat at Ennis's feet.

_Oh God, he knew, knew all that time. _Jack and Ennis looked at each other, at a loss of what to say. "K.E, wait, lemme explain-"

K.E wasted no time, gave Ennis no time. He drew back his fist and before either of them could react, Ennis was lying on the ground, jaw stinging. K.E slammed the door shut and Jack, panic-stricken, crouched down beside Ennis.

"Jesus, you alright?" he asked, pulling Ennis to his feet as he had done a few days ago, in the alleyway.

"Yeah, I'll live." He muttered, tilting his head to allow Jack to inspect the bruise.

Jack winced. "Damn, that musta hurt." He stroked it gingerly, and kissed it ever so softly. Ennis loved the feel of Jack's lips on his skin, and he was also very glad that Jack was here with him, looking out for him. "Look on the bright side. We match now." Ennis couldn't help but let a grin escape him. Trust Jack to look on the bright side.

They made their way back to the truck, and once inside, fell into a tight embrace. Jack felt guilty. Ennis's relationship with his brother was now ruined, possibly beyond repair, because of him. He himself had no siblings, so he couldn't know how it felt, but he could figure out that it must hurt something awful. He knew by now that Ennis wouldn't blame him for it, but he blamed himself. Even the feel of Ennis's lips on his after a few seconds couldn't fully push the guilt out of his mind. Ennis could sense it.

"Jack? Look at me." Jack met his eyes, uncertain.

"I don't blame you. This ain't your fault." Jack looked unconvinced, and opened his mouth to protest, which Ennis covered with his own mouth. "It took two people for this to happen. I didn't have to let it carry on after that first night. I coulda told you to stay the hell away from me. I coulda left the mountain the mornin' after without a word."

"I thought you would." Jack admitted, looking downcast. Ennis lifted his chin with his finger.

"Well I didn't, an' I ain't never looked back. I wanted it as much as you did, I just didn't know it then. I don't regret any of this."

"But you've fallen out with yer brother 'cos of it." Jack said, despair in his voice.

"True enough. But that don't mean it's for good. Give him some time, he might come round." Jack didn't know how on earth Ennis could take this so lightly, so positively. But Ennis had said they would make this work, and seemed willing to anything to achieve this.

Jack didn't know, but Ennis had told himself that what he had with Jack was too precious, too special, to let anything jeopardize it. He had to focus on their future. So as a result, he would put all of his efforts into making the dream a reality, and just live in the hope that K.E would come around, that their family bond would be strong enough to reconcile them. If not...at least he would still have Jack. What they had together, that would never be broken.

* * *

><p>They pulled up outside the old trailer and exchanged a dark look. They had debated whether or not to do this, but they simply had to know how much their former employer knew, how long he had known and who he'd told. They had discussed the two guys who had been talking about Jack, who they thankfully hadn't seen since the gas station. It was obvious they'd gotten their information from somewhere, and everything seemed to point towards Aguirre.<p>

Jack knocked on the door and they held their breath. This was another confrontation he knew he would never be ready for. These were more loose ends they would have to tie up before leaving Signal. Even the glorious memory of their first meeting couldn't lift his spirits just now.

"Yeah?" that sharp voice groused, and they winced. God how they had hated him, and it had increased tenfold since K.E had told them he knew. They stepped into the dingy old trailer, blinking as their eyes adjusted to the darkness.

His welcome was pretty much the same as K.E's. "What the hell do you two want? Thought you'd gone."

Jack's temper flared. "Well you were wrong. We know what you've been sayin' about us, Aguirre, we know you told Ennis's brother."

Joe fixed them with a glare. "Had to tell him. The family oughta know what you are, Del Mar." Ennis would have loved to walk round that desk and give Aguirre a good decking, but he had to keep it together, for Jack if nothing else. He sure as hell didn't want to go to jail for assault.

"Ain't your business. Nobody's business but ours." He replied, and at the same time, both he and Jack remembered that evening on the hillside, when Jack had said the same thing. It felt great to defend his and Jack's relationship, and he was already feeling a duty to Jack, to start doing right by him. God knows he deserved that much.

"It is my business when you lose a load of sheep, or drive off the other help." He hissed, looking at Jack, who realised he was talking about Joel Smith. _God, how much does he know?_

Ennis looked quickly at Jack, who was starting to shake. _He don't need remindin', not now. Not after everythin' I said yesterday._ He decided it was time to get out of there. Nothing was to be gained from this confrontation. Somehow, Aguirre had known about Jack making a pass at Joel, and he'd known about himself and Jack. He decided that would have to be enough, for it was clear that Jack couldn't take much more of this. He fixed Aguirre with one last dirty look and frogmarched Jack out of the door and down the steps.

He closed the door, not too gently, and turned to Jack, who had sunk to the bottom step with his head in his hands. Ennis felt his heart breaking to see Jack like this. He wished he could wrap him up so tightly that nothing would ever hurt him again, that he could take all the pain away. He cursed the world for saying that a relationship like theirs was wrong. They weren't hurting anybody. Why did it have to be so hard?

_Well I can give it a shot, _he thought. He sat on the step directly behind Jack, legs on either side of him, and pulled him close, head on his shoulder, just as he had that day on Brokeback by the fire, when Jack had been falling asleep. Jack placed his arms on top of Ennis's, wrapped around his chest, and sighed. He started to feel as Ennis intended him to, as he had during that dozy embrace by the fire, safe, loved and protected. He was starting to notice the changes in Ennis's behaviour. He was more tactile, more loving. He thought about yesterday by the gas station, where he'd yelled about Ennis sending him mixed signals and not fully knowing if he meant as much to Ennis as Ennis did to him. These small but noticeable changes were leading Jack into the reassurance that Ennis loved him just as much as he himself was loved. Their slanging match had obviously flipped a switch in Ennis's brain, he seemed to realise the effort that would be required to make their relationship work, and was doing his best to make those efforts.

* * *

><p>Jack flopped onto the bed, totally wrung out. Ennis shut the door and looked at him, thinking desperately of something to cheer him up, something special. He wracked his brains, looking round the room, and his eyes fell on the bathroom door, smiling when an idea sprung to mind. Jack took no notice when he heard the shower running, but was soon forced to when a fully naked Ennis pulled him up from the bed and kissed him. "Mmmph" was all he could say.<p>

Ennis pulled him backwards towards the bathroom, kissing him and stripping him, feeling Jack's erection pressing into his leg as Jack helped with the stripping. Jack pulled back and his eyes widened when Ennis pulled him into the shower stall. _Now here's somethin' we ain't never done before, _he observed, _but I like where this is goin'._

For the next minute or so they kissed frantically, hands roaming everywhere. Then Ennis turned him around and started washing his back. Jack felt the lather and Ennis's hands working over him slowly enough to drive him crazy. His groin was aching for some proper contact, he wanted Ennis so badly and suspected Ennis knew exactly what he was doing to him. He let out a quiet moan, which was the cue Ennis had been waiting for. He pulled Jack's hips to himself, and murmured in his ear, "You want me, rodeo?" Jack could only groan in response as he shivered with desire and longing. Ennis was nibbling and kissing at his neck and he knew that Ennis better hurry up and get in there before he shot before he wanted to.

Ennis pushed Jack against the wall and finally gave him what he wanted. Jack moaned as Ennis entered him, all the while kissing the back of his neck and running his soft, slippery hands down his back. "I love you Jack." Ennis whispered as he started thrusting. Jack was now incapable of speech, could only moan and pant helplessly in response, but Ennis knew by now what he meant.

Jack had his hands pressed against the tiles, and his knuckles were turning white as he clenched them tighter. He felt Ennis moving his own hands down his back and towards Jack's groin, as their breathing grew faster and the thrusting came faster and harder. _Good god, _Jack thought to himself, _if this is his way of cheerin' me up, then I'd be happy to be miserable more often!_

Ennis's hands were rubbing at him and Jack was being pushed closer and closer to the edge, couldn't take much more of it. They had never done it in the shower before, but they were both starting to see the perks of doing so. The soapy lather and the constant flow of water were strangely erotic, and both of them knew that from this day on, they would be taking more and more showers together.

Suddenly, Jack's thoughts were wiped as his release came, a yell tearing from his throat as he then felt Ennis come inside him, fingers now digging into Jack's shoulders as they both shuddered. They stood there for a few beats. The shower had run cold a while ago but there was no way in hell they could have noticed it before. They now however noticed it and Jack turned it off as Ennis pulled out of him and hugged him. Without a doubt, that had been one of their best times yet.

They got under the covers, quite cold now and huddled together, Ennis lazily stroking Jack's silky hair and Jack running a hand up Ennis's arm. Their shower escapade had been mindblowing, and Jack was looking forward to doing it again, preferably sooner rather than later.

Ennis stopped running his hand through Jack's hair and nuzzled his nose into it instead, kissing it, breathing in his scent. Jack was in absolute heaven. The man he loved was by his side, was doing everything he could to make their relationship work, was even prepared to defend it from those who would condemn it. That was no small feat for any guy, but Jack was doubly impressed considering Ennis's fears and the reason behind them. He had pondered the idea that the principle behind their relationship was to stick together no matter what. Through thick and thin, for better for worse.

_Just like a marriage, _he thought. _There probably won't be a day when two guys like us can get married, but wouldn't that be somethin'? To make vows like that like everybody else does? We deserve it as much as any lovin' couple. It's a damn tragedy that it can't never happen. But god, if it could, and he asked me, there wouldn't be no thinkin' involved. I'd say yes in a heartbeat, no two ways about it._

Jack could hear Ennis breathing deeply and evenly, and realised he was asleep. As if on cue, like his body reacted to Ennis, his eyelids started drooping. He hoped that their recent sexy adventure conjured up nothing but sweet dreams for Ennis tonight.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

They could only guess that yesterday's turbulent events and the shakeup of their emotions had taken their toll, for they didn't wake up until just after noon. They had selected this day to be their last in Signal, the day they would leave and get started on their new life together, a prospect that was both scary and exciting at the same time. The plan was to travel down to Sage, sleep in the truck just outside town, then early the next morning Ennis would go and see Alma.

As for their plans after this, Ennis said he wanted to go and visit his sister in Casper. The heated exchange with his brother had left him with a need to have family around, and he hoped that Cecilia would accept him and Jack. He ran this idea by Jack, who was secretly delighted that Ennis wanted his family to include and welcome him and their relationship, and that he was willing to try and make it work.

So the plan after that, regardless of the outcome, would be to finally travel to Lightning Flat and working on the Twist ranch. Jack was nervous about this. Time was running out for him to tell Ennis about his childhood, he knew he had to tell him before they got there, and he was ashamed of himself for the fact that Ennis had shared his childhood traumatic experience and he was too scared to do the same. Still, he had a few days to work up the nerve.

They were stood by the truck just outside the motel, having finally checked out. They were double checking the tires and making sure there was enough gas to get to Sage. Jack had taken great care to avoid letting Ennis see what was in his bag. At the back of his mind there was still a little bit of fear that the effort required to maintain their relationship would prove too much for Ennis, and that he would leave at some point. He didn't like to contemplate the idea, but he had to be prepared for the worst, and this included holding on to whatever piece of Ennis he had left.

"So," Ennis started, drawing Jack's attention. "This is it rodeo. You an' me. You ready for this?" he asked, smiling at Jack.

Jack grinned. "Hell yes. I've been hopin' for weeks this would happen. Can still hardly believe it."

"Well you better start, cos it's fer real. You get in, I'll just do a few more checks." Jack rolled his eyes at Ennis's paranoia. They'd checked the tires at least three times already, but it was probably better to be safe than sorry.

He got in behind the wheel and stretched as Ennis worked his way round the truck. Jack was rooting in the glove compartment, looking for cigarettes as Ennis checked the tire on the passenger side one last time, when he felt that familiar prickling. He could feel a pair of unwelcoming eyes on him. He looked up and he could swear his heart skipped a beat.

Less than fifty feet away were the two guys from the convenience store and gas station, the men who had been talking about him. Only this time, he realised as terror filled him, they had tire irons in their hands. And they were headed straight for them.

"Ennis!" he half-shouted. Ennis caught the panic in Jack's voice and looked at him, then followed his wide eyes to where they were staring. He felt the colour drain from his face when he saw what the men were wielding.

_Oh god no, not now. Not when we're so close. _The image of Jack's face covered in blood flashed into his mind. He just couldn't lose Jack. He had sworn to himself that he would do his best to protect Jack no matter what. That instinct kicked in just in time and he hauled himself into the passenger seat as Jack slammed his foot down. He was a pretty good driver and managed to swerve and avoid the two men, who tried to run after them but were quickly left behind.

Neither of them spoke as Signal melted away from them. They were both shaking. Jack was starting to see why Ennis was so afraid of tire irons, and that fate. It had been a frightening image, seeing those men walking towards them, murder in their eyes and hearts.

Ennis looked across at him, and seeing how badly he was shaking, took hold of Jack's hand, gripping it firmly yet gently. His touch seemed to calm Jack down as he gripped back, having solid proof that Ennis was here with him, and that they would be alright.

A few miles out, when they decided they were safe for the same being, Jack turned the truck into a side road and hit the gas. Almost immediately, and simultaneously, they turned towards each other and collided, grabbing at the back of each other's jackets, trying to hold each other closer and be reassured that the other was alright.

Ennis pulled back and held Jack's face in his hands. It was heart wrenching to see those blue eyes he loved so much looking back at him in that state, so full of fear. He kissed Jack deeply and wrapped him in his arms again.

They pulled away and Jack found his voice. "Ennis, I..."

"Shh, it's okay, we're okay. We're gonna be okay, you hear me?" he whispered and Jack nodded, hoping that Ennis was right, yet he couldn't shake a feeling, a new one that something was going to happen, something bad. He could only pray that it wouldn't be life threatening.

* * *

><p>The journey became more pleasant as the road wore on and became more open, and they were feeling safer. They had bought some fresh sandwiches that morning and ate in a comfortable half silence, a few words here and there for they found themselves ravenous after the nasty shock that morning. Ennis was now driving and Jack was falling asleep again. Ennis didn't know how on earth Jack seemed to be capable of sleeping just about anywhere. He sure couldn't sleep over a bumpy road such as this one. He thought about waking Jack up, for they had planned to sleep in the truck just outside Sage, but couldn't bring himself to disturb Jack.<p>

_Besides, _he thought to himself, smirking, _who's to say that he's gonna have sleep on his mind when we get there? That boy can sleep just about anywhere, he can probably do it just about anywhere too, even right here on the seat if you let him. _He found himself getting turned on by the very thought. How amazing would that be, to do it right here on the front seat? They'd had a lot of fun in the shower yesterday, and he was becoming more open to trying new things, especially since he would be exploring these new avenues of pleasure with Jack. He had a funny feeling that Jack would be keen to try this new idea.

Jack had somehow ended up slumped against the passenger seat door, and was sitting at a funny angle. _Christ, _Ennis thought to himself, _that can't be comfortable._ He slowly stopped the truck and pulled Jack to his side, wrapping his right arm across Jack's shoulders. Jack shifted himself in his sleep, getting into position as Ennis started driving again. Jack had laid his head into the crook of Ennis's neck and shoulder, one of his favourite spots. Somewhere, in Jack's sleepy state he had realised what Ennis had done, and felt like the luckiest guy in the world for having someone to take care of him. He was extremely comfortable in this position, having his face nuzzled into Ennis's neck as he was held.

A few hours later, night was falling and they were just outside Sage. They were in a secluded area and had decided to stop here for the night, so Ennis could go and see Alma first thing next morning.

But Jack couldn't think straight right now. He had more pressing matters at hand. His naked body was writhing and shuddering as he lay across the truck seat with Ennis buried deep inside him, torso rising as their bodies took on a milky glow in the moonlight. They were both moaning and gasping yet trying not to be too loud in case anybody else was about. It was damn hard for Jack to keep quiet while Ennis was doing all those things to him that he was so good at, all those things he loved. Ennis was kissing him deeply as he thrust into him, tongues twisting together in a kind of sensuous dance. His head then dropped to Jack's shoulder and he started kissing at his throat while Jack frantically ran his hands over Ennis's back as he bucked underneath him.

The sweat was pouring from their bodies and the windows were steaming up but neither of them took any notice. Jack couldn't remember how they'd ended up like this. He knew he'd been asleep for a lot of the journey, but Ennis had woke him up when they arrived just outside Sage. They'd spent some time talking, reaffirming their plan for tomorrow and finishing the sandwiches. Ennis had reached over to him, and the next thing he knew, their clothes were off and they were going at it enthusiastically, like they hadn't seen each other in days.

He couldn't believe the change that seemed to occur in Ennis over the last few days, not just within himself as a person but also in their sex life. They'd tried two new things since leaving the mountain: the shower and the truck, and Ennis had initiated both scenarios, which Jack found inexplicably arousing. A shiver ran through him at the thought of what else Ennis was planning for them, what else he wanted to try. He _loved _this new side to his lover.

He was brought back to the present when Ennis kissed him again, tongue pushing deep just like he himself was down below. "_Fuck_" Jack hissed as Ennis thrust harder and faster, then shuddered as his release came, leading Jack into his own as his vision swam with arousal. He could swear that he was seeing stars as he came down from it. Ennis collapsed onto his chest and they tried to get their breath back, no easy feat when the breath had been knocked out of them.

"Good god." Jack breathed as he felt their heartbeats, close together, return to normal. "I nearly blacked out just now, Ennis. Never thought doin' it in a truck could do that."

Ennis chuckled, shoulders and chest shaking against Jack. He managed to lift his head and place it on his folded arms across Jack's chest. He'd fantasised about them doing it in the truck, but could never have imagined how amazing it could be. Nothing in his imagination measured up to the reality of how it felt. Jack twined his fingers through Ennis's curls as they looked peacefully at one another. Ennis wanted to kiss him again but simply didn't have the energy to move forward, so he settled for a little kiss to Jack's chest, sweaty though it was, and turned his head on his arms as Jack wrapped his own around him, and they fell asleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Ennis was busily preparing himself to go and see Alma. He'd promised himself and Jack that he was going to do this, and it was too late to back out now. He caught sight of the look in Jack's eyes, that nervous look like he was scared of how things might turn out, in this case that Ennis might back out. Ennis had no intention of doing so, not after everything he and Jack had been through over the last few days. All that work will have been for nothing if he chickened out now.<p>

"Jack?"

Jack gave a start, lost in his own thoughts. "Hmm?"

Ennis reached over to him and hugged him tightly. "I'm gonna do it, I swear. I'm in too deep to back out now. And I don't wanna back out neither." He kissed the spot on Jack's collarbone where a hickey had formed the night before. He pulled back and smiled at Jack, who tried to return it but was still clearly scared of what might happen. Ennis sighed inwardly. _The quicker I get this over with, the better off we'll be. _He gave Jack one last kiss on the lips, slow and gentle, before climbing out of the truck and walking towards town.

Jack sat back, head spinning slightly. He wanted to believe that Ennis's talk with Alma would go as planned, but couldn't quite shake off his fears. He dreaded losing Ennis, especially after all they'd been through. What the hell was he supposed to do if Ennis lost his nerve? He'd probably go home to Lightning Flat alone and try to pick up the pieces of his broken heart, and the fading bruise on his cheek would be nothing compared to the bruising on his heart. He silently prayed that Ennis's newfound dedication to their relationship would guide him through what he was about to attempt.

Ennis walked through town in the direction of Alma's parents' house. He was determined not to lose his nerve, and to do the right thing for all three of them. Every time his doubts threatened to surface, he held on to how he felt about Jack, and the images in his head of the ranch they were dreaming of, the home they wanted to build together. One last obstacle and he would be free to start living his life with his true love.

Ennis took a deep breath outside the house and knocked on the door. "Alma? It's me." He called.

"Come on in, door's open." He heard her call back. He went inside to find her folding laundry. She smiled when she saw him. She'd always thought he was a good catch, and her friends were jealous. "Hey, Ennis. Your job go okay?"

_More than I ever thought it could, _he thought to himself. "Uh, yeah. Real nice up there."

"Well, great. You want a drink? I'm in charge till mama an' daddy get back." She stopped folding and turned to look at him expectantly.

"Uh, no thanks, I just gotta talk to you." He mumbled. She didn't notice any changes in his behaviour, he'd always been quiet. She nodded and motioned for them to sit down.

"What you wanna talk about? The weddin'? You got some ideas, cos I still need somethin' blue and I can't think what-"

Ennis held up a hand. "Alma, hang on." She fell silent. "I do wanna talk about the weddin', but it ain't about ideas." She looked puzzled.

An image of Jack flashed into his mind, Jack whom he loved, whom he wanted to be with. They'd been on an emotional rollercoaster over the last few days and he'd sworn to himself to start doing right by Jack, starting with being honest about himself. "Thing is, Alma..." he took another deep breath. "I can't go through with it."

Alma looked stunned. "What? You ain't serious? I know it ain't gonna be cheap an' it's a lot of work, but don't be sayin' this Ennis!"

"That ain't the reason, Alma. Thing is...I've fallen in love with someone else."

Alma's eyes filled with tears. "What?" she whispered fearfully. "Who?"

He wasn't ready to tell her the whole truth. It wouldn't be fair to rub salt in the wounds, after all. It was bad enough that he'd fallen for someone else, he couldn't bring himself to tell her it was a guy. "Uh...someone they sent me up on Brokeback with. I sure am sorry, Alma. I wanna be with them, wanna make it work an'...it's better for all three of us. I know what love feels like now, an' I hope you can find it too. I just know it ain't gonna be with me. We deserve to be happy, but we can't make each other happy."

Alma was incapable of speech. She felt as if her whole world had come crashing down around her. She could barely register what she was hearing. He'd fallen for someone else? It just couldn't be true. She'd been fantasising about her big day for years, now it was all falling apart.

Ennis decided there was nothing more he could say to her. He felt awful for letting her down like this, but he knew in his heart it was the right decision. He got up and headed for the door, but paused for a second to whisper "Sure am sorry." She didn't respond.

Jack spied Ennis walking back to the truck and hesitated. Was he coming back to tell him he'd changed his mind? He didn't dare to hope that Ennis had done what he'd set out to do.

However, Ennis looked up a few feet from the truck and his face broke into a wide smile. Jack felt relief wash over him like a tidal wave and without so much as a second thought, flew out of the truck and flung himself into Ennis's waiting arms and the passionate kiss that welcomed him.

* * *

><p>After several passionate kisses in the truck, euphoria running through them as though it were their blood, they were on the road to Casper. Jack felt liberated. There was now nothing holding them back from building a life together, from loving each other. Sure, they had to figure out the practical stuff, like money and where they would live, but right now they were consumed by happiness and love. Even Ennis looked a lot happier than Jack had ever seen him.<p>

When Jack had first fantasised about a home with Ennis, he'd resigned himself to the fact that it couldn't happen, but as he looked at the man beside him, seeing the love he felt for him reflected back in those warm brown eyes, he was suddenly hit with the realisation that it was real, that it _was_ happening. His eyes filled with tears and he felt like his heart would burst with how happy he was.

Ennis caught the tears in his eyes. "Hey, whatcha cryin' for?" he asked, concerned. Jack's throat felt tight and he was unable to speak, but managed a watery smile as his lip trembled. Ennis sighed, understanding. He held up his arm, motioning to Jack to scooch over to him, and Jack did so, wrapping his arms around Ennis as he let the tears fall.

Ennis ran a hand through Jack's dark hair and smiled. He could understand Jack's emotional state, and didn't judge him for it. They'd had a lot of trouble since returning from Brokeback, and Jack had feared that it would end, that it would be a summer of memories and nothing more, but now it was for real, they were together, and just starting out on a life together. It was overwhelming, and it was little wonder Jack was reacting like this.

They drove on in silence. Ennis thought about their plans to go to Lightning Flat. He was still curious about the situation between Jack and his father, but everything else had driven it out of his mind. He'd barely had time to think on it while they'd been making plans and encountering their various problems. He'd only planned on them staying in Casper for a day or so, unless Cecilia reacted like K.E and left them on the doorstep, so he hoped Jack would speak up soon, because it was clear that all was not well between father and son.

"Hey," Jack said, breaking the silence.

"Hmm? What's up?"

"What's yer sister like? Is she anythin' like yer brother?" he asked dubiously.

"I gotta be honest, Jack," Ennis sighed. "I got no idea how she'll react to this. She didn't see...what me an' K.E saw, an' I dunno if she were ever told, but I really don't know what she'll think about me fallin' in love with a guy."

Jack looked thoughtful. "Well I was thinkin'...she an' K.E brought you up after yer parents died, right?" Ennis nodded. "If she's been like a second mama to ya...she'll just be happy that yer happy, right?"

Ennis considered this. Cecilia had been just like their mother while they were growing up, and she had been like a mother to him before she'd gone and gotten married. Did it make some sort of sense that she would see how happy he was, and accept it, or was it just wishful thinking on their part? He hoped she would. He'd never been this happy in his life and he knew his sister had a good heart, and would hopefully see his relationship with Jack for what it really was, and as his big sister would offer him her unconditional love and support.

Ennis remained silent, but Jack could tell he was thinking things over and considering the various outcomes the 'conversation' with his sister could have, good and bad. Jack nuzzled his face into Ennis's neck. He'd never been in love before, so how come he'd known it when he felt it for the first time? He tried to pinpoint the exact moment he truly fell in love with Ennis, when it had become more than just an attraction. His best guess was their second night together in the tent, when they'd first kissed. That was definitely a defining moment in their relationship. As for when he'd realised that he was in love, that was probably later, when they'd been saying goodbye by his truck, and he'd felt crushed by the fact Ennis didn't seemed to affected by it, and the fact they were apparently being separated a month too soon.

"Can I ask you somethin'?" he asked, looking up, his big blue eyes focused wholly on Ennis.

"Sure"

"When did you fall in love with me?" Ennis looked at him in surprise. He hadn't been expecting that, and it took him a few minutes to consider his response.

"God, Jack, I dunno...I mean, I think I liked you for a while before we first ended up in the tent together, when we were becomin' friends. But I guess I didn't think about the possibility of fallin' in love with a guy, so I didn't really..." he paused. "I think I fell in love on our second night in the tent. The way we kissed...god, I'll never forget that." He finished, smiling at Jack, who replied with another kiss Ennis would never forget. He then proceeded to tell Ennis that their second night together was also the night that he fell in love, and they relished the fact that they'd fallen in love at the same time. That was special.

* * *

><p>Jack stepped into the phone booth and inserted the coins, listening to the dialling tone.<p>

"Hello?" answered a woman's voice. Jack felt his heart lift. The only woman he would ever love.

"Hey, mama, it's me."

"Jacky? That you? Weren't expectin' you down from Brokeback for another month! Everythin' okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. There was a storm comin' so Aguirre told us to bring down the sheep. How's Uncle Harold?" he asked, remembering about her brother's pneumonia.

"Oh he seems to be gettin' better, but...I keep tellin' him to move further south, where it's a mite warmer. You remember me sayin' he inherited a ranch in Georgia from our daddy? He ain't never been nowhere near it, says it's too far to move, so it's just sittin' there. Livin' up near the Canada border ain't gonna help." Jack chuckled to himself. His mother was always complaining about her stupid big brother, but Jack knew she loved him and was only being affectionate.

"So, anyway, what's goin' on? You comin' home?"

"Yeah I am. Got some stuff to do first, might be a day or so before I see you."

"Really? What stuff?" she sounded curious.

_Here goes._ "I met someone." He blurted out.

"You met someone? That's great Jacky! Who is it? Someone you met in Signal?"

"Uh...yeah actually." _You can do this. _"It's the one I was herdin' sheep with up on Brokeback. His name's Ennis." He started shaking, not at all sure how his religious mother would take this.

"Ennis..." she repeated calmly. "What's he like?"

Jack was stunned for a moment. She was asking him this perfectly normal question, as if he was talking about a girl. "Uh...well he's quiet, an' shy, but he can be real sweet, ma. I know you'd like him." He finished hopefully.

"I'm sure I would," she replied, the smile evident in her voice. That was a good sign. "Were you plannin' on introducin' us?"

"I'd love to, ma, an' I know he wants to meet you. Thing is, Ennis had some trouble with his brother back in Signal, 'bout him bein' with me, so now he wants to go an' see his sister in Casper. I think he's hopin' she can do somethin' to get through to their brother, try an' get him to talk to Ennis, you know?"

"So that's why it'll be a few days."

"Yep."

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you love him?"

Jack felt a grin spread across his face as he considered this. _More than I'll ever know how to show._ "I sure do, ma. Very much."

"An' does he love you?"

Jack thought about everything they'd been through in Signal, the confrontations, the confessions, everything they'd either said or shouted at each other on the topic, and their hopes for their future. "He does, ma."

"Good. I can't wait to meet him then." She said happily.

Jack felt relieved. He would be taking Ennis home to meet his parents! How big of a step was that? "That's great, ma, but I gotta go, I ain't got no more change."

"Say no more, sweetheart. See you soon."

"Yeah. Love ya, ma." He hung up and walked back over to the truck, smiling at Ennis when he got in.

"Well I told her."

"How'd she take it?" Ennis eyed him nervously.

Jack grinned. "Said she can't wait to meet you, asked me what you were like. I didn't tell her that yer the best cowboy rider in all of Wyomin' but I told her how nice y'are, that you can be real sweet." Ennis blushed and turned to him, eyes glittering.

"Talk like that, Twist, an' I'll be wantin' to ride a certain cowboy right now."

Jack looked round, licking his lips. The rest stop was deserted, and there were no vehicles on the horizon. He turned back to Ennis, eyes full of lust and pulled him on top of him, kissing him fiercely, feeling how hard they both were.

"Giddy up" he breathed, blue eyes sending volts through Ennis as his fingers got to work on Jack's rodeo buckle. But pretty soon, he was rendered incapable of further speech, or even thoughts as Ennis proved him right on his assessment.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was early in the afternoon by the time they arrived in Casper. Ennis thankfully managed to remember where Cecilia lived, and drove through the quiet town. Jack was nervous. After their encounter with K.E. they were both slightly on edge, not at all sure how she would react to their relationship. He hoped that if she accepted it, she would be willing to try and get K.E. to talk to Ennis. They were all adults now and should be able to handle the situation in a mature way. Ennis had said that she hadn't seen Earl's body in the ditch, but he remained unsure of whether or not she was ever told. This conversation could go either way.

Ennis finally stopped the truck outside a fairly nice house with a porch, in a lovely cream colour. Jack let out a low whistle. "Nice." He commented.

Ennis looked at him, smiling slightly. "Yeah it is. I've only ever been here once, just after she an' her husband moved in after the weddin'."

"Didn't you say he was a roughneck?"

"Yeah, but...he's a decent guy, and she sure seems happy." Ennis smiled again and took Jack's hand, squeezing his fingers slightly. "Come on, darlin'."

They walked up the steps to the front door, and Ennis took a deep breath and knocked, which gave Jack unpleasant flashbacks of when they'd done the same at K.E.'s house. After several agonizing minutes, the door was finally opened by a woman, the same height as Ennis, with curly brown hair and a warm, welcoming face. Her mouth opened in surprise when she saw Ennis. "Oh my goodness! Ennis! That really you?"

Ennis remembered he hadn't seen his sister for a number of months, and his face broke into a grin. "It sure is, sis." She moved forward and hugged him warmly, and Jack was pleased to see the love between Ennis and his sister. Maybe things would work out with her after all.

"Well ain't you a sight for sore eyes!" she exclaimed, then spotted Jack. "Ennis, who's this?" she asked curiously.

Ennis motioned to Jack to move closer. "Cecilia, this is my friend Jack Twist. Jack, this is my sister, Cecilia Wilson." He indicated, remembering to use her married name. Jack put on his best charming grin and stepped forward.

"Real pleased to meet ya ma'am." He said, tipping his hat.

"Likewise." She replied warmly. She'd never known her brother have any real friends before, so she was pleased that Ennis was keen to introduce one to a family member. He looked like a nice guy. "You boys wanna come in?"

"Sure," they replied and followed her into the fair-sized living room. It was neatly furnished, in warm tones and seemed very cosy. An open door at the back of the room led to the kitchen and another one they guessed opened to the bedrooms and such.

"This is a real nice place, ma'am." Jack said, taking in his surroundings and liking what he was seeing.

Cecilia smiled. "Thank you Jack. Would you boys like a drink? Coffee?" They both nodded and thanked her, and she motioned for them to sit down on the sofa. Ennis made sure she'd gone in and shut the door before stealing a quick kiss. Jack looked at him in surprise.

"What was that for?"

"For good luck." Ennis smiled tentatively.

Cecilia returned with their coffees and sat in the armchair facing them. "So, Ennis. How come you're down from Brokeback so early? Thought there was another month to go?"

"Well there was, but there was a storm comin' so Aguirre told me an' Jack to bring the sheep down." Jack nodded.

"Oh...more time to plan the weddin' then?"

Ennis and Jack looked at each other, silently agreeing. "Actually, sis...the weddin's off."

She looked very surprised by this bit of news. "What? You serious? But...I thought you an' Alma were happy." She asked, confused.

Ennis bowed his head. "I thought we were...I thought I loved her, but...truth is...when I went up on Brokeback...I fell in love with someone else." He met her eyes. She looked between them, figuring it out, then let out a nervous laugh.

"Wow, this is a surprise! Never saw this comin'!" Ennis and Jack grinned, relieved that everything seemed okay.

"I gotta say, Ennis, never woulda thought of my brother turnin' out this way, but then I guess it ain't fair to stereotype just 'cos yer a cowboy."

Ennis looked at her. "So...is it okay? If not, we'll go, we won't bother you none."

She held up a hand to silence him. "It's okay, Ennis. I can see it in yer eyes how happy you are. Yer still my baby brother no matter what, an' all I care about is seein' you happy. Jack?" she said, turning to him. He looked nervous. "You love my brother?"

Jack released the breath he'd been holding and grasped Ennis's hand. "I sure do."

"Good. You better look after him then." She replied, smiling. "You boys wanna stay for dinner?"

"Uh...well it's good of ya to ask, but...what about yer husband, Tom? Would he be okay with this?" Ennis asked nervously. She smiled.

"Actually, he would be. He's got a cousin, Adam. He's queer, got a place in Ohio with his fella. They live real quiet an' no-one gives 'em no trouble. Tom an' his cousin were best friends growin' up an' still keep in touch. Tom was the first person Adam came out to, an' Tom was honoured by that, the fact that Adam trusted him enough. He's never had no problem with it, an' I doubt he'd mind about you two bein' here." She finished, and headed into the kitchen to make a start on dinner.

Ennis and Jack looked at each other, stunned. "You get that, rodeo? There are places out there where queer guys don't get no trouble, they can live together." Ennis whispered, hardly daring to believe it.

Jack smiled and placed his arm around Ennis's shoulders. "Looks like we can have that sweet life after all." He murmured back.

* * *

><p>Dinner was a very pleasant affair. Tom, as Cecilia had predicted, was very welcoming towards Ennis and Jack, keen to talk about his cousin, as they had a number of questions about his life with his partner, and were still stunned by the revelation that there were places in the world where guys could live together without getting any trouble. Tom, for his part, was pleased to be getting to know his brother-in-law, and he and Cecilia welcomed Jack into the family with pride.<p>

The talk wore down as the meal finished and they sat back into their chairs, Tom at the head of the table, Cecilia on his left, Ennis on his right with Jack next to him. Cecilia said that their kids were staying over at Tom's sister's house, so it was just the four of them.

"So," Cecilia spoke up. "What're your plans?"

Ennis sat up in his chair. "Uh, well...we were gonna go up to Lightning Flat an' help Jack's dad on his ranch for a while, right Jack?" he asked, turning to his partner. Something flashed across Jack's eyes as his father was mentioned, which did not go unnoticed by Ennis. He didn't know how to broach the topic of why Jack reacted like this every time it came up, but all he could do was hope that Jack would tell him in his own time.

Jack nodded. "Yeah, that's right. Ranch is kinda breakin' down, you know? Needs work doin' on it an' since me an' Ennis are together we've decided that's what were gonna do for the next few weeks. Maybe stay through the winter an' help my daddy through that. Winter's always tough out there."

"Then what?" asked Tom.

Ennis and Jack looked at each other and smiled. "Then in the spring, we, uh...we're gonna start thinkin' about gettin' us a place of our own. Dunno where, but...that's what we're gonna do." Ennis replied, head spinning slightly. A place of their own. It was real. They could do this.

Cecilia and Tom smiled back. "That sounds wonderful, you guys." Cecilia said. "I hope things go well. You guys deserve to be happy as much as anybody else." She got up and started gathering up dishes.

"Sis? Can I use yer bathroom?" Ennis asked.

"Sure. Through the other door off the livin' room an' first door on your left."

Ennis squeezed Jack's hand and got up. Jack was left alone with Cecilia and Tom, and immediately grew nervous.

"Jack?"

_Oh god, here it comes, _he thought. _She's gonna ask me what kinda twisted freak I am to go after someone already taken, how I can look in the mirror knowin' what I've done to Alma, how I corrupted an' stole away her brother. _He was ready to fight his corner like he had in Signal when Ennis had accused him of planning the whole thing, that he'd tried to keep his behaviour friendly but his feelings had been too strong to ignore. But that wasn't what was asked.

"How is he? I mean...he seems okay but I know him, he keeps his feelins' to himself most of the time. I hope he ain't that way with you."

Jack was stunned, and then delighted that Ennis's sister was asking _him _about his well-being. As if she were asking his wife. _Well I ain't nobody's wife, _he thought to himself, _but damn, she sees me as someone important to him, ain't that somethin? _

He cleared his throat. "Uh...well at first he was real quiet...then after about two weeks he started openin' up more, we was becomin' friends. We had a real good time. After a month, when we first...ya know...I think he took a step back. We was still good friends but we never talked about what we were doin', I knew not to push him too much."

They nodded. "What about when you left Brokeback?"

"Well...when I first told him we had to go...he's told me since that he wasn't ready to go, an' when I tried to cheer him up, he slugged me one." He said, indicating the fading bruise on his cheek. "Then..."

"Then when we came down," Ennis interrupted, startling them. "I got gut cramps real bad, know now that I didn't wanna let him outta my sight." He sat down next to Jack again, taking his hand. "He saw me upchuckin' in the alleyway, came back an' never left me again." He smiled.

"It wasn't easy. Took me a day to realise I loved him, an' that I wanted to be with him. We got to shoutin' about it, him tellin' me to go home cos I said I was gonna phone Alma an' I just blurted it out how I felt. We spent a few days in Signal, had a few problems..." he looked up. "I wanna talk to you about K.E., sis. Aguirre told him about me an' Jack, an' he ain't too happy." Cecilia nodded.

"To answer yer question, sis...I know I ain't so good with feelins'. But since knowin' what I feel for Jack, I'm tryin' to show him best I can what he means to me." He smiled at Jack again, who thought his heart would burst with the love he felt for Ennis right then, seeing that Ennis was trying to do right by him.

_Jesus, Ennis, yer killin' me here. Never ever thought this would happen for real, that I'd hear you sayin' these things. I love you so damn much it hurts. An' I'm glad of the pain, cos yer everythin' to me._

* * *

><p>The four of them retreated into the living room after dinner, winding down with beers and wine, listening to the radio. Cecilia and Tom had very kindly offered to let them stay at the house overnight in the spare bedroom. They agreed it made more sense for Ennis and Jack to get a good night's sleep in them and then set out for Lightning Flat in the morning.<p>

Both of them were profoundly grateful that Ennis had decided to go and see his sister, and they couldn't be more relieved by her reaction and the fact she wanted to help them. Jack was overwhelmed that at least two members of Ennis's family accepted them and could see what the two of them had, even if his brother couldn't. He already knew that his own mother would accept them, had pretty much said so over the phone. He couldn't wait to introduce them. But what about his father?

_Who am I kiddin'? _he thought. _Ain't no way in hell he's gonna accept this. Man's got no respect for nobody, he's probably gonna run us off with the shotgun when he finds out. I dunno if my mama could persuade him not to, she's too scared to stand up to the old bastard._

_I gotta tell Ennis about this. He told me about what happened to him as a kid, I should do the same. S'only fair. He'd want to know about this. He's been doin' his best to do right by me, he wants to look after me an' do whatever it takes to make things work. He'd want to know about this. He loves me an' cares about me. After everythin' we talked an' argued about in Signal, accusin' each other about not carin', an' then doin' everythin' we can to show we do care, makin' plans about livin' together, it ain't fair to keep stuff from each other. I gotta tell him. He's probably gonna flip. I'm gonna hafta hold him back so he don't go killin' him with his bare hands. _

His thoughts were interrupted by Ennis speaking up next to him.

"Cecilia...I wanted to ask you somethin'."

"Sure, fire away." She replied, sipping her wine. Ennis shifted uncomfortably and looked to Jack for support, who nodded encouragingly.

"Well, uh...it's about K.E. I know I said he ain't too happy about me an' Jack, an' I was wonderin...could you maybe talk to him for me? Try an' get some sense into him?" He knew that if anybody could get through to their brother, it would be her.

Cecilia sighed and leaned forward. "Ennis, I'd be happy to talk to him for you. I hate that you two have fallen out over it. I remember when mama an' daddy died an' I had to look after you both, we both tried to do right by you. That don't change no matter how old we get. We all oughta be mature enough to deal with this like adults." Ennis exhaled and nodded his thanks, leaning back next to Jack.

Cecilia and Tom looked at each other for a moment, and a silent agreement passed between them. "Ennis...I know about Earl an' Rich."

Ennis's head snapped up, and Jack's eyes widened. "You...you do?"

She smiled a small, sad smile and nodded. "Yeah," she answered softly. "I heard him an' mama arguin' about it. She was yellin' at him for takin' you an' K.E. to see it, said he shouldn't have shown that to two young boys."

"I thought the same thing when Ennis told me." Jack spoke up, feeling that familiar disgust at what Ennis's father had put in his sons' heads, and that it had almost cost him and Jack their relationship. What if Ennis hadn't been brave enough to get past his fears enough to admit his feelings for him? He would be back in Sage preparing for his wedding, and he, Jack, would go back home heartbroken. "It just ain't right to show two kids somethin' like that."

"No Jack, it sure ain't. I'm just thankful that Ennis could work past it an' follow his heart." Cecilia smiled. Ennis and Jack looked at each other, seeing the love in their partner's eyes, and intertwined their fingers on the sofa between them. The phone rang in the kitchen and Tom, who was closest, went to answer it.

"So, Ennis, I'd be happy to talk to K.E for you. I could do it later, when you two have gone to bed if you want."

"Yeah, that'd be good. Thanks sis. By the way, uh...about the sleepin' arrangements..." he looked at Jack uncomfortably, feeling a hot flush creep up his neck. He wanted to sleep in the same bed as Jack, but they were both aware that if his sister and brother-in-law weren't comfortable with it they would flip a coin for who would sleep on the couch.

Cecilia smiled. "It's okay. If you wanna share it's fine with us. We want you to be together, it's where you belong."

She got up to go and speak to Tom in the kitchen, completely unaware of the effect that those words had had on her two guests. In that one offhand comment, they realised as they stared at each other, she'd summed up how they both felt.

_We belong together, _they both thought at the same time as they embraced and let their tears fall.

* * *

><p>Around 9pm the two of them were settling into the spare bedroom, weary with road travel and full of apprehension for what would happen when they got to Lightning Flat. Jack had finally made the decision to tell Ennis about his childhood the next day, when they got on the road. As a matter of fact, Ennis was planning on asking him about it the next day. He was becoming very concerned as to why Jack seemed so afraid of his father, even without the fact of his relationship with Ennis.<p>

They were lying on their backs, Ennis holding Jack in his arms as he loved to, keeping him safe and wrapping him up so nothing could hurt him. He loved Jack very much, was certain that he was falling in love with him even more every day. As he'd said to Cecilia, he was doing his best to show Jack how much he meant to him, how much he loved him, and he hoped Jack was getting the message. They'd had awful fights back in Signal about their doubts over their feelings, and they had to do their best to make it up to each other.

Ennis turned his face into Jack's hair and inhaled his unique scent. He couldn't really tell what Jack smelled of at that particular moment, although he was sure he could smell beer and cigarettes, which oddly enough he loved to smell on Jack. There was a tiny hint of cold fresh air about him still, a reminder of the mountain and how this whole thing had started.

He wanted to do something for Jack, some sort of gesture. Maybe give him some sort of gift. But what? He scanned the room and his gaze fell on his bag.

"Hey, Jack, ease up a minute."

"Hmm?" Jack was falling asleep but he snapped awake at Ennis's voice. "What's up?"

"Get up a sec, I wanna give ya somethin'."

Jack relented and sat up as Ennis slid out of bed, giving Jack a wonderful view of his bare backside as he bent over, rifling through his bag. He found what he was looking for and crawled back into the warm covers. Jack looked at what he was holding. It was a carved wooden horse, clearly whittled with a small knife, actually reminded him of the mare he'd ridden up on Brokeback.

"What's this?" he asked.

Ennis took a breath and turned the model over in his hands. "Well...when we was up on Brokeback, before we switched places, I got bored, an'...I found this piece of wood an' thought I'd just carve somethin' to pass the time. Used to lie in the tent when it was rainin', carvin' this, thinkin' about you..." he answered, blushing slightly at this last remark.

"I know it ain't much, but...I wanted to give you this, just a little thing for you to have." He mumbled, raising his head to meet Jack's eyes, which were threatening to fill with tears of what could only be described as happiness. Ennis was giving him a gift. And he'd done it out of love. Every day, his doubts about Ennis's commitment to their relationship were evaporating. Hopefully by the time they got their own place, they would be gone completely.

"Uh...thanks," he managed to croak, taking it as his tears fell. Ennis wiped them away and caressed his cheek.

"I love you Jack. I just hope that one day I can show you how much." He whispered, kissing him.

"You're off to a great start." Jack choked out, completely overwhelmed. He put the model on the bedside table and allowed Ennis to pull him into his arms again.

He sighed, then an idea popped into his mind. "Hey, you just gave me a piece of wood. Mind if I return the favour?" he asked, grinning and giving Ennis his best seductive look.

It worked a treat. Ennis rolled him onto his back and kissed him again, feeling Jack run his hands all over his back. Ennis kissed his way down Jack's chest, making sure to run his hands over it as Jack's hands dropped to his head, gripping his hair as the sweat formed on his forehead. Ennis reached his target and started sucking and licking, tasting what had already formed there as Jack's hands flung out to the sides and gripped the sheets. He bucked and was involuntarily thrusting into his lover's mouth as he worked him over with that tongue, dear god that tongue.

"Jack."

Jack caught his breath just in time to look down at Ennis's face. Seeing him like that, and the way those dark eyes were glittering again sent him over the edge, and he gave a yell as he came, shuddering and then relaxing. Ennis crawled over him again and kissed him, and Jack could taste himself on his lips.

"I could get used to this gift thing." Jack gasped. Ennis chuckled and kissed him slower, and more gently. They gazed into each other's eyes, warm brown to bright blue, not needing to take things further just now. Ennis rolled off Jack to the side and pulled him close in a warm embrace. Jack nuzzled his head into Ennis's neck, full of bliss. Ennis pulled him closer and felt himself being pulled closer in return as he kissed Jack's neck.

"I love you, Jack." He whispered softly.

"Mmmm," Jack smiled, content. "I love you too."

* * *

><p>Cecilia took a deep breath and dialled her brother's number. She was not looking forward to this but had promised Ennis and Jack she would do it. She wanted to keep her family together after losing their parents, and would do whatever it took to achieve this.<p>

"Hello?" a man's voice answered, sounding irritable.

"Hey, K.E., it's Cecilia. Sorry to bother you this late..."

"It's okay, sis. What's up?"

"Well, uh...Ennis is at my house. With Jack." She knew exactly the kind of reaction she would get by saying Jack's name.

She wasn't disappointed. "You let them in yer house?" You know what that bastard gone an' did to our brother an' you still let 'em in?"

She pursed her lips. "Okay, K.E., listen to me. I ain't hearin' you insult either of them. They're good people."

"They're fuckin' queer!"

"I know that! But Ennis is still our brother, he's still family. Ain't family important anymore? After everythin' the three of us stuck together through?" K.E. fell silent.

"But sis...you don't know...he could end up..."

"End up dead? Like Earl in the irrigation ditch?" she bit out.

"How...how'd you know about that?" he exclaimed.

"I overheard mama tellin' daddy off about showin' you an' Ennis. It's disgustin', what he made you see. I felt ashamed to have him as a father."

"It's disgustin' that he's fuckin' a man an' don't seem to care about no consequences!"

"Oh for cryin' out loud! You think he ain't thought about it? You think he ain't scared about what might happen? He is. He's terrified of what might happen to him, or even worse, what might happen to Jack. He loves him."

K.E. made an ill-disguised grunt in his throat. She decided to let it go.

"He loves Jack, an' that's why he's doin' his best to work past his fears an' keep hold of what he's got. It's a goddamn tragedy that you ain't got the incentive to do the same, to let go of the fear."

"But Dad said..."

"I got news for you, brother. Daddy ain't here. What he tried to teach you an' Ennis should have died with him. He's been livin' with that fear for ten years, that's a powerful long time an' now he's got a reason to work past it. He knows he has to if him an' Jack are gonna make it work. Jack knows about all this, he's tryin' his best to help him, an' you know how?"

"How? Fuckin' him in the ass?"

Cecilia was almost seething with rage now. "No, by bein' there for him. Jack told me that Ennis had a nightmare back in Signal, about what you saw. He was there for Ennis, calmed him down like any decent partner would do. That's why Ennis has to work past the fear. They love each other and want to make things work. You know why I'm ringin' you?"

"Why?"

"Because Ennis asked me to. He told me how he saw you in Signal, how you treated him an' that you punched him. What the hell did you do that for?"

"Wouldn'ta done it if he wasn't queer."

"Could you stop havin' brown eyes? Could our daddy have stopped bein' an asshole? He didn't choose this life, you know. You don't choose whether you're straight or not. It just happens. The choice is whether or not to act on your feelins', to admit to yourself who you are. An' thank God Ennis chose to be true to himself, an' stand up an' be a man about it, which is more than I can say for you."

Silence on the line, but she knew he was listening.

"K.E., I'm beggin' you to think on this. Daddy ain't here, Ennis is. He's still your brother, the only thing that's changed is that he's happy. I can see it in his eyes how happy he is, an' I'm grateful to Jack for makin' it happen. Ennis doesn't want to fall out over this, he still loves both of us an' you know family's important to him after those years it was just the three of us."

"What're they're plans?"

"They're goin' up to Jack's parents' house an' workin on the ranch over the winter. After that, they're gonna be lookin' for a place of their own. They know it ain't gonna be easy. They know it might be dangerous, but they're goin' for it anyway. Just 'cos they're doin' what Earl an' Rich did don't mean they're gonna end up the same way. A lot can change in ten years. Please, K.E., tell me you'll think it over."

"...fine."

"Thank you. Are you gonna call Ennis?"

"I'll think about it."

"I guess I can't ask for more than that. Goodnight, K.E."

"Night."

Cecilia put the receiver back and sighed. Maybe she shouldn't have gotten angry with him, but maybe a bit of tough love was required in this situation. Maybe she shouldn't have spoken ill of their father, but she'd never really liked him, and finding out about what he'd shown her brothers and the fact it could have had an irreversible effect on her youngest brother incensed her further. She knew she was right, though. Ennis was still the same person, only much happier, and she knew Jack was responsible for this. She hoped that the bond between her brothers would be strong enough to reconcile them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The two of them woke early the next morning, to a house full of noise. The sound of childrens' laughter and shouts were coming from the kitchen. Ennis was first to rise and when he heard the sounds, he felt himself looking forward to seeing his niece and nephew again, couldn't wait to introduce Jack. He knew they'd like him.

He turned to see Jack breathing deeply, face buried in the pillow and dark hair falling across his forehead, giving Ennis strange sensations in his stomach. _God he's a looker, _he thought to himself, giving Jack a feather-light kiss on the forehead and heading for the shower. Jack felt the kiss, just as he had back in Signal after their first night in the motel, but instead of feeling miserable, scared and confused, he felt bliss and happiness. He decided not to join Ennis in the shower, they would be in there all morning and they had things to do.

He sat up and stretched, then got out and gathered his clothes, waiting for Ennis to finish in the bathroom. His eyes fell on his bag, and he remembered what was in there.

_Should I tell him? We're together now, I don't think I'm gonna lose him like I thought I would, which is why I stole it in the first place. But what if he gets mad? What if it freaks him out that I feel so strong on him? He's gonna take it back an' leave an' then I'll have nothin'. _

_I can't tell him, not yet. Not till I'm hundred percent sure he ain't gonna leave me._

His thoughts were interrupted by Ennis emerging from the bathroom, earning himself a wonderful vision of a fully naked Jack. His face broke into a grin. "Well ain't that a fine sight in the mornin'?" he said, eyes twinkling.

Jack rolled his eyes and went to kiss him, arms going around his neck as Ennis pulled him close. "You ain't so bad yourself," he murmured against Ennis's lips. "But a little overdressed I think." He finished, steering Ennis backwards into the bathroom again.

_So much for gettin' things done, _he thought to himself as he helped Ennis out of his clothes again.

Eventually, they managed to get a shower and emerge, after making sure the other was thoroughly washed. They followed the noise into the kitchen, where Cecilia was making breakfast and two young kids, a boy and a girl were sat at the table. The kids looked up when Ennis and Jack came in and, immediately recognising their uncle, jumped up from their chairs and threw themselves at him, yelling greetings. Jack couldn't help but laugh at Ennis's discomfort at having a pair of kids crawling all over him, but it soon evaporated as he got them under control and hugged them, replacing Jack's amusement with affection, and then sadness.

_That's one thing we can't never have. Kids of our own. Even if they let us get married one day, ain't no way we can have kids. Just ain't possible. That's one thing I took from him when he chose me. His chance to be a daddy. He may not love Alma, but at least she could give him the one thing I can't. _His deep-rooted fears that Ennis would leave him reared up again. He had a feeling that Ennis wanted kids, would make a great father, and now he would never have the chance so long as he stayed with Jack. He himself wasn't feeling that particular need, to have children, but he figured he would feel it if he could have Ennis's children, and he knew with all his heart he would have them for him if he could.

He was forced to put on a big, welcoming smile as Cecilia and Ennis introduced the kids to him, and as Ennis had thought, they loved him, completely fascinated by his rodeo buckle as he told them slightly exaggerated stories of his rodeo experiences. Ennis looked at him with so much love in his heart, and in his eyes, which Cecilia saw and once more, silently thanked Jack for making her brother happy. She took Ennis to one side and relayed her conversation with K.E. the night before. Ennis shook his head in despair at his brother's attitude, and said he wouldn't keep his hopes up of K.E. accepting him and Jack.

After a hearty and somewhat rowdy breakfast, Ennis and Jack were packed up and getting ready to leave. Jack was busy making sure that he'd packed the wood model, which might not have meant a lot to some people, but coming from Ennis it was something special. He thought about giving Ennis a gift in return. He'd joked about giving him a piece of wood, which he then proceeded to do so with enthusiasm, but he was seriously thinking about what he could give in return. He made a mental note to ask Ennis when his birthday was.

They were stood by the truck, watching as Cecilia made her way down the steps with the kids to say goodbye. Ennis hugged them both, then his sister, listening as she told him to take care and not to worry too much about his brother. When Jack went to hug her, she whispered "Thank you again, for everythin' you've done for him. You look after him, okay?"

"I sure will." He whispered back as he pulled away. The two of them gave one last wave and got in, grinning at each other as Jack started up the truck.

* * *

><p>The truck was now bound for Lightning Flat, and both of them were thinking over how to broach the subject at hand. Jack had run out of excuses not to, now that they were just a few hours away. He just couldn't think how to bring it up.<p>

Fortunately, Ennis beat him to it.

"Hey, Jack?"

Jack gave a start. "Yeah?"

Ennis fixed him with a knowing look. "You wanna tell me what the deal is with yer dad? An' please don't lie to me, I know somethin' ain't right there, every time he's mentioned you just clam right up. It ain't like you."

Jack sighed, not having the energy to resist. "Okay." He took a few breaths.

"He, uh...he used to beat me when I was little. Not just spankin' like a lot of dads might do, but...used to whup me proper, with his belt." His voice turned hard and cold as his memories came back. Ennis was stunned.

"Mama could never stop him, too scared. In the middle of the night she'd come up to my room an' bring me pieces of her cherry cake to cheer me up after a beatin'. Love my mama." He choked out. Ennis reached out and grabbed Jack's hand, squeezing it gently.

It took Jack a few moments to gather the composure to bring up his worst memory. "I was about three, maybe four, an'...I could never get to the bathroom in time, strugglin' with buttons, often didn't make it an' it went everywhere. Christ, I thought he was gonna kill me. Then he...he says 'You wanna know what it's like to have piss all over the place? I'll learn you.' He pulled it out an' he..." he trembled.

"He pissed on you?" Ennis whispered, thunderstruck. What kind of father would do that to any child, let alone a three or four year old? He knew his own father had been a bastard, never thought he'd know anyone as bad as him, but John Twist sure sounded like a good contender.

Jack started shaking. "I was cryin' all over the place an' he makes me wash everythin' down an' clean myself up. You've seen it yourself, ain't you Ennis, how I got it a bit different down there? A bit missin'? He ain't never got over that, could never get it right with him."

Ennis could see the tears forming in those deep blue eyes. His heart filled with a great ache and he quickly leaned across and put his foot on the brakes, stopping the truck and before Jack could react, he was in Ennis's arms being held tightly and letting the tears fall. He was shaking violently and sobbing as Ennis tried to find a way to hold him even closer. He'd anticipated that there was bad blood between father and son, but could never have seen this coming. He ran his hands in circles over Jack's back, shushing him and soothing him. That powerful urge to protect Jack was coming over him again. He was livid at the abuse he'd suffered, but now was not the time for anger, that would have to wait until he clapped eyes on the asshole. Jack needed him right now.

"Jack...I'm sorry. If I'd known how bad it was I wouldn't-"

"I was plannin' on tellin' ya...just didn't know how. I figured you'd get angry, an' it would remind me of how angry he was an'..."

_Oh God. _Ennis pulled back. "Jack, look at me." He lifted Jack's chin, his eyes swollen and cheeks flushed. "You ain't got no reason to be scared no more. I sure as hell ain't gonna lose my temper with you. I love you." He kissed him, feeling the swollen lips. "An' that thing about bein' different down there? It don't bother me. Least it don't affect yer performance." He said, earning a shaky laugh from Jack.

He used his thumbs to wipe the tears from Jack's cheeks. "I promise, nothin' is gonna hurt you ever again, okay? When we get to Lightnin' Flat, if that bastard says one thing to ya, I ain't gonna stand there an' let you take it, okay? I'm gonna be there, I don't care what he says to me but I ain't lettin' you suffer. Or your mama as a matter of fact. She sounds like a real nice woman an' I think she's passed on her good heart to you. Thank God you ain't like yer daddy. Jack, I swear..."

"What? What do you swear?" he murmured.

"To protect you an' look after you no matter what."

Jack fell into his arms again and Ennis held him close, so close. "I love you Ennis...I don't know what I'd do without you...please don't leave me."

"I ain't gonna leave you. Yer all I've got, rodeo. I lose you an' I'm left with nothin'. An' you know what? I like that I've only got you left. I don't need nothin' else." He pressed his lips into Jack's hair as Jack buried his face in his neck.

"But I saw you with the kids this mornin'...you'd be a great daddy an' even if you don't love Alma, she could give you kids like I know you want..." he trailed off.

"Oh, Jack..." he pulled away again, looking into Jack's eyes. "That's true, she could give me one thing you can't. But there's one thing you can give me that she can't. You know what that is?" Jack shook his head.

Ennis gave a little laugh. "Love. I love you, you dumbass. Yeah I'd like kids, but if I gotta choose between that life an' this life...well, this life has you in it, so I don't need to think twice." He brushed Jack's hair back from his forehead and wrapped him in his arms again.

_Nothin's gonna hurt you no more, darlin'. I swear._

* * *

><p>They drove through a desolate area, passing by several abandoned ranches overgrown with foliage. Ennis was beginning to wonder how on earth somebody as full of life as Jack could possibly have come from a place like this. Jack eventually drove the truck down a dirt road and pulled up in front of a weathered house, and Ennis took in the peeling paintwork, the overgrowing fields and the barn. He could picture himself and Jack working on this place. There were no other trucks in sight, which meant Jack's father wasn't around.<p>

_Good thing too, _Ennis thought to himself. _If I saw him now I'd probably kill him. Need time to calm down first._

Jack stopped the truck and looked up at the house he so hated, the house he'd lived in all his life and yet somehow had never considered home. Ennis squeezed his hand. "You okay there?" he asked softly.

"Yeah...I guess I'm just nervous. I ain't got no idea how this is gonna go."

"You know, if you don't wanna stay here, we don't have to. We could go somewhere else. I'm sure your mama would understand." He could sense Jack's fear of his father again, and that it might be a good idea to rethink this plan. Maybe Jack wasn't ready for this, to see his father just yet.

"Nah, it's okay. S'only for the winter anyway, right? We'll be outta here come spring." He sighed. Ennis smiled and nodded. That was the plan, after all, to spend the winter here and find their own place in the spring. All of a sudden, he found himself wishing that the winter would pass soon, so they could get to looking for their own place.

He pulled Jack close to him and kissed him gently. "It's gonna be okay, darlin'." Jack smiled, hoping he was right. Ennis pulled their foreheads together, just as Jack had on their very first night together, and held him there, letting him breathe out his nerves and tension.

They climbed out of the truck and stretched, Jack scowling up at the house again, but then his expression brightened when the door opened and a middle aged woman with dark red hair stepped out, beaming. Jack half-ran up to his mother and hugged her tightly. Ennis couldn't help smiling. At least one of Jack's parents loved him.

He finally released her and she turned to Ennis, as did Jack, grinning and motioning him over. Ennis blushed slightly and walked forward.

"Mama, this is Ennis Del Mar, the guy I told you about from Brokeback. Ennis, this is my mama, Rose Twist." Jack introduced them, trembling slightly. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this.

Ennis tipped his hat. "Pleasure, ma'am." He mumbled. She smiled and walked right up to him, placing her hands on his shoulders.

"The pleasure's all mine, for you've made my boy happy at last." She replied, kissing his cheek. Jack was fighting back tears. "Come on in, both of you." She walked back into the house and Ennis and Jack looked at each other, love in their eyes.

They walked into the house, emerging into a small dining room with an even smaller kitchen to the right. The walls were whitewashed and dull, a few decorations here and there but the bare minimum. An archway at the back of the room opened through to the living room at the back, and just before it a creaky staircase leading upstairs. Rose motioned for them to sit down at the table and they did, Ennis with his back to the door, Jack on his left.

"So whaddaya think?" Jack asked, a touch of bitterness in his voice. Ennis squeezed his hand again.

"It don't matter to me, rodeo. It could be a shack an' it wouldn't matter 'cos it's where you come from. That's all I care about." Jack smiled in thanks.

Rose came back with three coffees and plates of cherry cake, which made Jack sit up and lick his lips. Ennis rolled his eyes and watched him with affection. The three of them settled into their meal. "This is real nice of you, ma'am." Ennis said, trying the cake. He soon started to see why Jack loved it so much.

"Oh, please, Ennis, call me Rose. I'm practically your mother-in-law ain't I?" she said, eyes twinkling. Ennis blushed and Jack laughed.

"Um...Jack told me what you said on the phone. Are you really okay with this?" he thought it was too good to be true, and that she might change her mind once she saw them together.

Rose smiled. "I'm fine with it. The Lord never makes mistakes, that's what I was taught. He sent you to Jack for a reason, an' it wouldn't be right for you to try an' resist it. You believe in soulmates, Ennis?"

Ennis looked at Jack, looked into his blue eyes. "Before I met Jack, I didn't. But after bein' friends with him an' then gettin' together with him, I'm startin' to." Jack went slightly pink in his cheeks, a grin hitching onto his face.

"Well, if you believe that someone is your soulmate, chances are that they are, an' you should embrace it." She smiled. "An' I can see it in your eyes how much you love each other. You be sure to look after my boy, Ennis."

Ennis smiled. "I'd be pleased to, ma'am...I mean, Rose."

* * *

><p>Jack's father, thankfully, worked out in the fields all day, so they still had a few hours left before the inevitable confrontation. Ennis had promised himself to try and keep a lid on his temper, not easy when he thought about everything Jack had suffered. He'd sworn to protect him and he would do that if the old man started on him. No way would he just hang back and let Jack be belittled.<p>

The three of them were sat in the living room, listening to the rain patter on the windows. Rose was knitting in her armchair, Ennis and Jack were sat huddled up on the sofa, which made Jack think back to his fantasies of their ranch, huddling up like this in front of a warm fire while the heavens could open outside if they wanted to.

"So, boys," Rose said, "What're your plans?" she asked, counting the stitches.

Jack cleared his throat. "Uh, well, if it's alright with my dad, we was thinkin' maybe we could fix the place up a bit. Paintwork needs doin' on the house, fields need seein' to. I thought maybe we could give him a hand through the winter, you know?" Rose nodded. How she wished her husband could see that his son was constantly trying to get in his good books, even after all he'd done to him. He still sought approval from his father and John could never see it.

As if he read her mind, Ennis spoke up. "Uh, Jack told me about his father, the things he did..."

Rose sighed. "I tried to stop him, told him you were upset, Jack. He didn't never listen. I should've tried harder..."

"Oh, mama, it ain't your fault. He wouldn't never listen to no-one. Remember when you tried to tell him off, an' he started on you? An' I stood in the way an' told him to leave you alone?"

"Of course I remember that. I'd never heard you cry so badly in all your life, Jack. He must've hurt you somethin' awful." Her eyes were swimming with tears at the memory.

Ennis was dumbstruck. "You never told me about that." He said to Jack, once more feeling heartbroken that his beloved Jack had had to suffer through something like that. Jack looked at him, an apology in his eyes.

"Sorry, cowboy, but...when I got to tellin' you about the bathroom incident, I just broke down, remember? Couldn't take it no more. I was gonna tell you..." Ennis sighed and pulled him into his arms.

"S'okay...you don't hafta apologise." Jack clutched at his back.

Rose watched them with interest, seeing the love between them, and couldn't fathom why people would say it was wrong. Yes, they were both guys, but the love was there, and true. She could tell that they meant a lot to each other, that they'd been through so much already and that, unfortunately, their troubles were probably far from over.

The rain was getting worse outside, and they all jumped when they heard the front door slam. Ennis and Jack broke apart, and Ennis was taken aback by the sheer fear in Jack's eyes as he looked over Ennis's shoulder, waiting for the inevitable.

"Jack? Look at me." He touched Jack's cheek. Jack looked at him, scared.

"Remember what I said. I'm gonna protect you no matter what. He ain't gonna hurt you no more, darlin', okay? You're safe now." Jack nodded mutely. He knew this whole scene could turn out very badly, but he felt safer than he ever had in this house, now that Ennis was here and was looking out for him. He knew his father wouldn't stand a chance against Ennis if he decided to start insulting either of them. Ennis had steel in his backbone, which in a more appropriate moment, Jack would have found sexy, but right now saw it as an indicator of a protector, someone who would look after him.

Ennis sensed someone entering the room, and he saw Jack's eyes darken. He took a deep breath and turned.

Standing in the doorway was an older man, wearing faded overalls and a checked shirt. He showed signs of balding and his face carried a look of a man who hated everything in life, and everybody he knew. His eyes scanned the room, looking at his wife, who was calmly still knitting, though her hands were still shaking. He saw Jack, looked at him with contempt, then his eyes fell on Ennis.

"Who's this?" he groused, seeing how closely together the newcomer and his son were sat. His eyes narrowed.

"Um, Dad, this is my friend, Ennis Del Mar. We was workin' together up on Brokeback this summer. We, uh, we really hit it off." Jack replied, thinking about how much of an understatement that was.

"What's he doin' here?" John asked by way of greeting.

"Well...I told him I was comin' up here an' helpin' you through the winter, so...he offered to come an' lend us a hand."

"Hm. You any good on a ranch, Del Mar?"

"Uh, yes sir. Worked on ranches for five years, since my parents died an' me an' my brother an' sister hadta make our own way."

John grunted and muttered something about going to wash up before dinner, which Rose took as her cue to go and get dinner started. They both left the room and Jack exhaled, shaking. Ennis made sure John was definitely gone before wrapping Jack up in his arms again, nuzzling his neck as he felt a few tears fall from Jack's eye onto his cheek.

"S'okay, rodeo, it's gonna be okay." He soothed, wishing there was some way he could make all the bad memories go away, for the pain to stop.

* * *

><p>Dinner was quite subdued, a polar opposite to the dinner they'd shared with Cecilia and Tom. Ennis, Jack and Rose sat in their previous positions, while John sat in the chair facing the door, evidently trying to establish himself as the stud duck here and making sure everybody knew it. Rose was trying to make pleasant conversation, asking Ennis about his childhood and his family. Jack listened intently. He knew all about Ennis's childhood of course, good parts and bad parts, but was keen to divert his attention away from his father.<p>

Ennis could sense John's piercing eyes on him, weighing him up, trying to see what kind of person he was. Every time he spoke to Jack, no matter how innocent the exchange, he could see John's eyes narrowing, clearly having his suspicions about the relationship between his son and this silent stranger.

"So, Del Mar," he spoke up. "You fixin' to get hitched or anythin''?" he said, as if he was looking to confirm his suspicions.

Jack looked at Ennis, who swallowed. "Uh, well I was, but I've called it off. I ain't ready yet. Alma was upset, but I think she understands."

"Hmm. Won't be long before this one ups an' runs off to get hitched." He said in response, nodding at Jack, who felt a mixture of fear and anger building up inside him.

"Don't think I'm ready yet Dad, neither." He said, resolutely not looking at him.

John scoffed. "Won't be long. You always thought this place weren't good enough for you, bet you can't wait to get outta here. That's if anybody'll want a cryin' little pissant like you."

_Clang. _Ennis dropped his knife and fork on the table and looked daggers into John's eyes, noticing that Jack's had filled with tears.

"Listen here. If he's been cryin' it's only 'cos of you. Yer the one who had to make yerself look big by beatin' on a poor defenceless kid who only tried to love ya. He told me everythin'. Told me what ya did to him. If you were a decent father you wouldn'ta done that, no decent father woulda done that."

John stood up. "What's it to you? You've only been here five minutes, what business is it of yers what happens in my house?"

Ennis stood up too. No way would he stand for this. He'd sworn he would be civil as long as John was, and now a line had been crossed. A protective surge ran through him as he looked down at Jack, who was looking up at him with big eyes. Would he say it?

"I'll tell ya why it's my business. 'Cos I ain't gonna stand here an' let you hurt Jack no more. My own daddy was a bastard, but I didn't think I'd meet someone half as bad as him. You proved me wrong, Twist. An' you don't deserve to share that name with him. You wanna start on Jack, you'll hafta go through me. I ain't gonna let it happen. I ain't gonna stand here an' let you insult my fella." He said angrily, keeping his gaze steady as he spoke the last two words.

"I knew it." John spat. "I seen how close you two are, knew somethin' wasn't right. Yer my son's queer boyfriend ain't ya?"

"He's more than my boyfriend, Dad." Jack spoke up. Hearing Ennis speak those words and declare openly that he would protect him had given him the strength to look up at his father. "I love him, an' he loves me."

"That's right. An' I'm gonna protect him from the likes of you no matter what." Ennis finished, placing a hand on Jack's shoulder. "We came up here to help you, an' if you don't want us here, fine. We'll go. But whether we're here or not, it don't change a thing. We'll still be together. But I'm sure you're gonna need help through the winter." Bribery wasn't something he was proud of using, but he knew they needed time to figure out their plans, and they had nowhere else to go.

John glared at him, then at Rose, who had remained silent during this exchange. She hated confrontations, but she was quite prepared to back them up if she needed to. She too was feeling a sort of new strength now Ennis was here and standing up to John in a way she and Jack had been too scared to.

Finally, John released the breath he'd been holding. "Fine. You can stay an' do whatever you want to the ranch, an' the house. Needs doin'. But no queer stuff, you hear me? An' sure as hell no sleepin' in the same room."

"Fine. We'll sleep in the truck." Ennis replied. He'd half-expected that. John grunted and stomped out the door. Jack let out a shaky breath and held his face in his hands.

Ennis saw he was shaking, so walked over to him and placed him arms around him from behind, crossing them at his neck, leaning his cheeks against Jack's.

"Sorry about that, Rose. Didn't mean to get him riled up." He said, looking up at her.

She shook her head. "It's alright, Ennis. I'm awful glad you stuck up for Jack like that, an' that he's found someone like you." She smiled and gathered the dishes up, retreating into the kitchen.

Ennis kissed Jack's cheek. "You okay?" he whispered, looking at him.

Jack placed his arms over Ennis's and sighed. "I am now, cowboy."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

After that tense family dinner, Ennis and Jack spent the next two weeks working on the Twist ranch. They had agreed that they would sleep in the truck, despite Rose's pleas to them to sleep in the house where it was warm. But Ennis and Jack wanted to do more than sleep when the sun went down, and they decided it would be safer to stay away from John, who probably _would _run them off with the shotgun if he caught them doing anything. Fortunately they didn't see much of him during the day, he kept his distance, which meant a few kisses here and there were common occurrences.

John's distance had another benefit, one that Ennis soon noticed. Jack was finally becoming more and more like his old self, cracking jokes and enjoying himself as he had on Brokeback. Ennis knew it was mostly his fault that Jack had been down since arriving back in Signal, with the mixed signals, the accusations and the fear that their newfound relationship would end. And when Ennis had called off his wedding and shown Jack he was committed to their relationship, his fears had been quickly replaced by fear of his father, even before he found out about them. Ennis had seen with his own eyes that Jack had good reason to be afraid of his father, and he had made it clear to John that he wouldn't stand for Jack being bullied anymore.

John had seemed to realise that Ennis was serious, and probably more than a match for him, so he was wisely keeping his tongue in his head. He was tempted to try and get Jack on his own so he could have a go at him without his "queer boyfriend" to protect him, and he might have succeeded if Jack ever left Ennis's side, which he practically never did. At first Jack stayed with him because he was afraid that that was exactly what his father would try to do, and he wasn't yet capable of coping with it on his own. But as the days rolled by he found himself enjoying the arrangement immensely. He loved working with Ennis, painting the house, tending the fields, looking after the stock. They'd talked about it being good practice for when they eventually got their own ranch, working together, building a life together. They couldn't wait for spring to arrive.

Jack, as Ennis had noticed, was becoming emotionally stronger without his father's abusive presence, replaced by Ennis's loving one. Knowing that Ennis was here, and doing his best to keep him safe, protecting him, gave him strength like he'd never known before. He knew his mother was feeling it too, a strength that they'd never felt before for fear of John squashing it down. Jack hoped that maybe one day he would have the strength to face his father on his own.

He was standing in the front yard, admiring his work on the mended fences, when Ennis slipped up behind him and pulled him close like that day up on Brokeback, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Hey there darlin'." he murmured, smiling at Jack.

Jack grinned and turned himself round in Ennis's arms. "Hey there yerself, handsome." Ennis blushed at the compliment. He leaned in and kissed him warmly, wrapping his arms around him as Jack's went round his back and pulled him closer.

They broke apart after a few seconds, then simply gazed at each other, revelling in what had become of them and how far they'd come in just a matter of weeks. Their relationship was growing stronger by the day and they loved being together. Jack was no longer hesitant to tell Ennis about the shirts, was sure now that Ennis wouldn't leave him, but now he thought about it, he couldn't for the life of him think how to tell him. He thought maybe wait until their anniversary the following summer, or maybe for Christmas, make a gift out of them. That sounded like a good idea.

His brain switched off when Ennis kissed him again, then nuzzled at his face, which Jack gladly returned in kind. He adored this new romantic side to Ennis, was glad he was finally coming out of his shell, in a way that he hadn't before, even up on Brokeback, not quite like this.

Ennis lifted his head. "Can I ask you somethin'?"

"Sure. You know you can ask me anythin'."

Ennis smiled and nodded. "Well...this ranch we've got in mind...do you have any ideas where you want it to be?"

"Um...I dunno. I guess I don't wanna be too far from my mama, an' I don't think you wanna be too far from Cecilia, right?"

Ennis nodded again. "I don't. I'd like to be near 'em both, not least 'cos they accept me an' you. So I guess we might be stayin' in Wyomin'...but if we don't wanna...what's the state just above us again? Montana, right?"

"Yep, state line's just north from here. Ain't far. I guess we could live there if we don't wanna stay here. But ya know, cowboy, I don't really care where we live, so long as we're together." Jack said, smiling widely.

Ennis smiled back and brushed Jack's hair from his forehead, before hugging him tightly. "You an' me are always gonna be together, rodeo. Ya got that?" he whispered. He felt Jack nod against him and they stood there, letting those words wash over them.

* * *

><p>John attacked the scrub at the far end of the field, focusing his anger onto it. He couldn't believe he'd sunk so low as to have queers working for him. At least they didn't sleep in the house, but he knew damn well what they did in that truck at night, and he despised the fact they were doing that stuff on his land. If he hadn't needed the help, he would have gladly run them off his property by now.<p>

He thought about this Del Mar character. He was a strange one. He was queer, yet he wasn't no sissy, that was obvious. He was clearly strong, had demonstrated this at dinner nearly two weeks ago. John couldn't believe that this stranger just came charging in telling him how he could and couldn't act in his own home, how he wouldn't stand for his treatment of Jack.

_He's my son, _he thought. _I decide how to treat him. Boy needs teachin' an' nobody can tell me how to raise him. His mother's always too soft on him, gonna be just like her. No wonder he's queer._

He looked up towards the house and saw Ennis and Jack taking a break, sitting on the ground, talking and laughing together. He felt his blood boil. How dare they just sit there like they didn't have a care in the world, when they should be hiding themselves away in shame of what they are? It was as if they weren't even ashamed at all. He couldn't understand how they, and his wife, could see it as something perfectly normal, when it wasn't.

He thought about what Ennis had said. He'd been engaged but called it off after getting together with Jack. What kind of man called off his wedding to stay in a life of sin with his lover? Clearly not one who wanted to go up when he died. And all because of his no-account son.

He felt that he had to do something. Teach them a lesson about this sinning they were doing. He thought about calling Aguirre, asking him if he knew about all this, but he wasn't sure of his number and Signal was too far for him to care about visiting. He thought about calling the family of the jilted girl, Alma, making sure they knew everything about what her fiancé was. But without a surname he had very little to go on.

He remembered that Jack had been down in Texas that spring for a rodeo, and he thought about calling his brother down there, asking him if Jack might have been up to anything while there, as disgusting as it was, not wanting to hold the thought in his mind. But he knew his brother would be busy, not least trying to keep an eye on his teenage daughter, Becky, who had a wild streak in her, by all accounts had her eye on more than a few rodeo riders. That was one thing Jack had in common with his cousin. Always thinking about who would be interested in a different kind of riding, but at least Becky had her eye on the opposite sex. That was something.

Rose had told him that Ennis and Jack planned to stay through the winter, helping him, then in the spring set out to find a place of their own. Did they have no shame? Living together out in the open, where people would ridicule them, probably attack them? He couldn't understand how they didn't seem to care. Or maybe they did, but wanted to do it anyway? How could they knowingly risk their lives for this? They'd said they loved each other, and it was clear they were sticking together, despite the potential dangers. He almost felt impressed in spite of himself, but then stubbornly pushed it away, reminding himself that it was wrong, they shouldn't be doing that stuff, shouldn't even be here together. This Del Mar was _fucking _his son on a daily basis. That made him feel sickened. The pair of them would be heading straight to hell, no two ways about it.

He looked up again just in time to see them running into the drafty old barn, and it was starting to rain. He shook his head and started out for the house.

"How can you put up with this?" he asked of his wife when he entered the kitchen, where she was baking. She looked at him.

"What?"

"You know what. Them two. Here all day an' all night, doin' that stuff." He fixed her with a glare, but the reflected strength in her from Ennis's presence allowed her to keep a steady gaze.

"John, you know full well I'm fine with it. Our boy's happy, an' if it's 'cos of a man, so be it. They love each other. They don't do nothin' when you're around an' you never hear 'em so what's the problem?"

"Ain't the point...doin' stuff on my land."

She sighed. "They love each other." John grunted and headed upstairs to the bathroom.

Rose looked out at the barn, and sighed. She was happy that Jack was happy, and knew he would be alright as long as he had Ennis. She heard John stomping around upstairs, could hear his muffled mutterings and tears stung in her eyes.

"You loved me like that once." She whispered. "Like I meant everythin' to you. I pray to God that those boys don't end up like us."

* * *

><p>Ennis and Jack managed to make it into the barn and shut the doors just before the rain came down too heavily, giggling like kids. The rain pounded on the roof and Jack, feeling mischievous, and slightly horny, fixed Ennis with a sexy look, swiped his hat from his head and ran off with it towards the back of the large room. Ennis, grinning widely, ran after him. It was just like that day up on Brokeback. They'd just had sex, and Jack was zipping up his trousers when Ennis, feeling playful, knocked his hat off his head and started running. Jack had run after him and they'd wrestled, before finally falling to the ground and kissing.<p>

Ennis was feeling as light-hearted as he did then, following the sounds of Jack's giggles and taunting shouts. Every time he got a glimpse of Jack, he was rewarded with sultry blue eyes and a lustful look, like "come and get me, boy." After several minutes of running through stacks of hay and around beams, however, he lost sight of his target. He paused, looking around, sure that Jack was trying to catch him off guard.

All of a sudden, he heard a whistle from above. Jack was sitting on the edge of the upper level, grinning and half-naked. Ennis's hat and Jack's shirt had been thrown near the barn doors.

"Get down here, Twist, so I can teach ya a lesson." Ennis rumbled, trying to sound pissed off and not succeeding at all.

"You got it." And without warning, Jack hauled himself off the ledge at Ennis. It was a good thing that Ennis was so strong, and Jack was light, for he managed to catch him, Jack's legs wrapping around his waist and arms around his neck. He stumbled backwards a little at the sudden weight and Jack kissed him, pushing his tongue into Ennis's mouth as Ennis held him tighter.

Jack drew back after a few moments and looked into his eyes, both pairs full of love. Jack twirled a finger around Ennis's curls and then smirked. "I thought you was gonna teach me a lesson?" he said, eyes turning sultry and seductive again.

"Damn right I am." Ennis turned abruptly with Jack still in his arms, moved forward and tossed Jack onto a large mound of hay, and started stripping off his own shirt. Jack lay there with darkened eyes, licking his lips in anticipation. Both of them were rock hard.

Ennis threw his shirt wherever and sank to his knees in front of Jack, then crawled forward and pushed him back onto the hay, pressing his full weight onto him and kissing him slowly. Jack's arms went round his back and pulled him close as Ennis pressed his hands in the hay on either side of Jack's head. He'd said he was going to teach Jack a lesson, but he actually wanted this moment to be slow and romantic in a way they'd only really done once, on their second night in the tent, and at the time Jack had taken the lead, showing him this other side of lovemaking. Now he wanted to show Jack he could do it too, take it slow and not let the moment rush by, savour it.

He let go of Jack's lips and locked eyes with him, then nuzzled into his neck for a few moments, kissing his throat softly and marvelling at the beauty in his arms. This slow, sensuous action was sending Jack into euphoria. He too was remembering the second night, and he was thoroughly pleased that Ennis was trying it this way, for he loved it.

Ennis kissed his way down Jack's chest, soft butterfly kisses as Jack threw his arms above his own head and sighed contentedly. They couldn't speak but there was no need for words right now.

Ennis paused at Jack's belt and buckle, thinking about what to do now. Did he want to suck Jack to orgasm, or did he want to be inside him? He thought about his desire to go slowly, and decided the latter was the better option. So he crawled back up Jack's chest and kissed him. "Jack." He whispered. Jack's eyes had closed in ecstasy but they now fluttered open. "Hmm?"

"Could you undo my jeans, an' I'll do yers?" he breathed. A shiver went down Jack's spine.

"Sure." Their hands roamed down to each other's belt buckles, undid them in a flash, then buttons were slowly and tantalisingly popped open. They pushed each other's jeans down as far as they could in this position while kissing, eventually managing to shuck them off. Ennis, without breaking contact with his lover's mouth, managed to hoist Jack's legs around his waist, which Jack gladly wrapped round tight, and slowly entered him. Jack broke the contact and let out a gasp, which Ennis kissed away as he started thrusting slowly into him.

Their hands found their mates and they linked fingers. Ennis, true to his desires, went slowly in and out, kept kissing a blissful and happy Jack.

_God this is wonderful, _Jack thought. _I'll be stealin' his hat again if it means this is the lesson he teaches me._

Ennis let go of Jack's lips and pulled back ever so slightly, face inches away and the sweat from his forehead dripped onto Jack. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." Jack breathed, then all of a sudden, with a few more thrusts they were there together, hanging on tight as they had a simultaneous release, slowly, slowly, finishing with another dizzying kiss. Ennis collapsed onto Jack's chest and Jack held him, mind reeling from that amazing experience.

They listened to the rain hammering away, Jack's hands softly running through Ennis's hair, feeling Ennis's heartbeat close to his own as they slowly slipped into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, they'd woken up and managed to peel away from each other long enough to get dressed, taking longer than they should have owing to a few stolen kisses to necks and grabs to asses. Jack was still shaking slightly by their romantic and exhilarating encounter, another unforgettable experience that Ennis had initiated. He wondered exactly what went on in Ennis's mind sometimes. This Ennis was not the same person he had been a few months ago, but at the same time he was, just more open and loving and Jack was thrilled to have discovered this new side.<p>

He could guess why he was seeing all this now, of course. He had admitted his feelings for Jack and committed to him, so now he felt safe enough to come out of his shell, knowing there was no safer place to do this than with Jack, who knew that he was probably the only person to see what Ennis was really like under the silent exterior. This was the real Ennis, and he, Jack, had somehow freed him from his straightjacket. And all he'd done was show him love. That had allowed Ennis to love him back, show his true self.

_Love sure is a funny thing, a powerful thing, _Jack mused. _Like...a force of nature or somethin'._

They headed into the house, the rain having thankfully stopped and found Rose making dinner, the smell wafting through the house and nearly making Jack drool. "What's that, mama?" he asked, walking up to her at the counter. "That meatloaf?"

"Sure is, sweetheart. Hope you're hungry." She smiled at him and Ennis, who was leaning against the beam. She mercifully didn't catch the look and unspoken words between them. _We sure are, after that workout we had in the barn._

She made them all coffee and they sat down, the boys keeping her informed of their work so far, the house, the fences, the fields, and that they'd "inspected" the barn (luckily they didn't blush too much) and would start to clean it up soon.

She nodded, pleased, more thankful than ever to Ennis for making her son happy, giving him some sense of purpose and belonging that she knew he'd never felt before. "Can I ask you somethin', boys?"

"Sure." They said at the same time, then looked at each other with funny little smiles.

"You said yer gonna stay here over winter, then find a place of your own, right? Where you plannin' on goin'?"

They looked at each other. "Well mama, we was talkin' 'bout it earlier, an' we don't wanna move too far from you or Cecilia, Ennis's sister. So we thought we might be stayin' in Wyomin' but we dunno if we maybe wanna move up to Montana or somethin', ya know?"

"Well I was just thinkin'...few weeks back when I was visitin' Harold in hospital, I heard someone askin' 'bout ranches. No idea who it was but I just heard 'em. They was told that there's a few ranches goin' for sale down in Colorado, got a noticeboard up down there...Fort Collins I think it is. Got sales all over the state. An' you know that's only just south of Wyomin'."

Ennis and Jack looked at each other, silently communicating. This sounded like a possibility. They would be far enough from Jack's father so he couldn't breathe down their necks yet not too far to visit Rose and Cecilia. And while Jack had been out of state before, Ennis never had, so the prospect was quite frightening, but with Jack by his side it felt less daunting. Jack couldn't quite remember what Colorado was like, he'd never paid much attention while driving down to Texas for the rodeo, had to keep an eye on his truck for signs of breaking down.

As he thought about his trip to Texas that spring, he found himself thinking about his cousin Becky. She would have turned nineteen that summer. When he'd last seen her she'd been training to be a barrel racer, but he didn't know if she'd succeeded. He'd sure like to go down there and see her, she had been his best friend growing up, until he was ten and her family had moved. She'd been the only real friend he'd had before Ennis, and he hoped that now they were older and more in control of their lives, maybe they could go and catch up, re-establish their family bond. He knew Ennis would like her, she had a real sassy side to her.

Something else suddenly came to mind about his Texas trip that spring, something lurking that he'd tried to drive away to the far corner of his mind. It didn't seem as bad to him as the Joel Smith thing, but he knew if Ennis got wind of it, given everything that had happened, all hell would break loose. He prayed that if they went down there and he found out, their relationship would be strong enough by then to survive this latest blow.

"So, whaddaya think, rodeo?" Jack jumped, shaken from his thoughts. His mother was back in the kitchen and Ennis was looking at him. He cleared his throat.

"Uh...well it sounds interestin' 'bout Colorado don't it? I mean...I've been through it, on the way to Texas but I never really paid attention." He paused. "Hey, there is one place in Colorado we might wanna look into."

"What's that?"

"Place called Loveland. Sounds perfect, doncha think?" he said, smiling.

Ennis smiled back. "Sure does, darlin'."

* * *

><p>Alma gripped her coffee mug tightly, eyes bloodshot, mind still reeling. She hadn't stopped crying for two weeks, since Ennis had come home and told her the wedding was off. She couldn't get her head around it. Ennis had fallen in love with someone else, the person he'd been sent up on Brokeback with. She hadn't even known that they employed girls for jobs like that. What were they thinking, sending a young guy up there with a girl, where nobody could see what was going on?<p>

The sound of the front door closing made her jump. Her parents were finally home. She got up and went into the living room. "Hey sweetie, how are-" her mother paused, seeing the look on Alma's face. Alma sniffed and ran into her mother's arms, sobbing.

Susan looked at her husband in alarm. She prised Alma from herself and sat her down on the sofa, both of them sitting on either side of her. "What's wrong, sweetie?" she asked softly.

Alma got her sobbing under control. "Ennis was here...came home a month early..."

"What happened?" asked Keith, arm across his daughter's shoulders.

"He...he told me he couldn't marry me, said he'd...he'd fallen in love with someone else. The person he was workin' with on Brokeback. I didn't even know they sent girls up there!"

_They don't, _Keith thought to himself. _They don't send girls up there. Somethin's not right here._

Alma was crying again and her mother held her, looking at Keith with a confused and helpless expression on her face.

Keith thought for a moment. "Okay, what was the name of his employer again? Aguirre wasn't it?" Alma nodded. "Right. I'm gonna call him an' find out what's goin' on." He stood up and headed out of the house.

Some time later he'd found a contact number for Joe Aguirre, and was standing in the phone box, listening to the rings.

"Yeah?" a voice groused.

"This Joe Aguirre in Signal?"

"Yeah, why? Who's this?"

"My name's Keith Beers. This summer you hired a young guy for sheep herdin' up on Brokeback. Ennis Del Mar. He was meant to be marryin' my daughter this winter. Came here two weeks ago an' told her it was off, he'd fallen for someone else. You been hirin' girls?"

"Girls? Hell no. I only hire guys for jobs like that. Sent Del Mar up there with a young 'un, Jack Twist."

"But...he said he'd fallen for the person he was workin' with on Brokeback..." Keith grew confused.

"Yep. Seen 'em myself up there, wrestlin' an' kissin'. They're queer."

Keith was stunned. Ennis? Queer? That couldn't be, he'd proposed to Alma, seemed like he loved her. "But..."

"Sorry but it's true. They came back here 'bout two weeks ago, confrontin' me fer tellin' Del Mar's brother. Far as I can tell, they've run off together. Ain't gonna live long like that. Goin' to hell, pair of 'em. He told yer daughter this?"

"No, just told her it was someone else. She's thinkin' it's a girl. She's heartbroken. What am I supposed to tell her?"

"Hell if I know. Washed my hands of those queers the minute they left, ain't got no reason to deal with 'em now, keepin' my distance. If yer daughter's got any sense, she'll do the same.

"You know where they've gone?" Keith's voice was cold, quiet, angry.

"Nope. Twist's from up in Lightnin' Flat, near the Montana border. Might've gone there. Don't know, don't care."

"Could you do me a favour Aguirre?"

"What?"

"If they are up there, could ya find out an' get back to me? Those queers need teachin' a lesson for what my girl's goin' through. I ain't gonna let 'em get away with this. Del Mar broke her heart, an' Twist is the reason. They both deserve to be shot."

"That they do." Aguirre agreed. "Been wantin' to shoot 'em myself, truth be told. Tell you what, I'll call on up, see if they're there. Wanna give me yer number?"

Keith told him his number and said his thanks. As he walked out of the phone booth and headed home, anger filled him up. How dare Del Mar hurt his daughter like this? Twist was to blame, leading him down that sinful path and corrupting him. He deserved the full brunt of punishment for this.

He went home and, unable to tell his daughter the full story, simply told her that it was true, Ennis had run off with someone else. She ran to her room sobbing, upon which he turned to his wife and told her everything. She was shocked and disgusted. He told her his plans to track the pair of them down, and while she wouldn't normally condone violence, she knew her place as a woman and kept her mouth shut.

The next day he received a call from Aguirre. They were in Lightning Flat, and Twist's father was livid at this domestic situation. Aguirre had told him of Keith's plans and he'd heartily agreed, never even stopped to defend his son. Between the three of them they arranged that John Twist would travel south, Keith would travel north and they would meet about halfway in Riverton, then John would lead him up to Lightning Flat to begin their assault.

This agreed, Keith went into town and headed to the garage where a few of his friends worked. They greeted him and one asked, "Hey, is there somethin' you need to borrow or somethin'?"

Keith nodded. "You got any tire irons?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Joe put the phone back down and sighed, thinking. He didn't want to get into this again, he'd sworn he was done with it, dealing with those queers. And now someone had got in touch with him, asking him to set up an assault on them. He'd told the truth, that he himself wished he'd shot the pair of them, so maybe now he could teach them a lesson. He picked up the phone again and dialled.

"Yeah?" answered a voice irritably.

"John? It's Joe Aguirre."

John grunted in response. "What you want?" he asked by way of greeting.

"Your boy up there?"

"Yeah, why?" he asked sharply, like he didn't want to talk about Jack.

"Is he there alone or is someone with him?" Somehow Joe felt like he already knew the answer. Sure seemed that way the last time he'd seen them.

"No he ain't alone. Up here with his queer boyfriend ain't he?" he bit out.

_I knew it. _"That wouldn't happen to be Ennis Del Mar would it?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"John...that's the other one I hired this summer to work with him. Seen 'em myself up there."

He heard John spit. "Fuckin' queers, why didn't you tell me?"

"Cos when they left, I swore I wouldn't have nothin' to do with 'em no more. Listen, Del Mar mention a girl at all? That he was meant to be gettin' married?"

"Yeah, but he ditched her to run off with my boy didn't he?"

"Well...her father's just rung me, wants revenge fer his daughter. Wants 'em both dead. An' I gotta admit I've thought about it myself."

John was silent. Joe knew he was mulling this over. Jack was his son, yet he was the kind of person he hated, because of Ennis. He might be torn by any affection for his son, if he had any left.

Finally John cleared his throat. "That guy's right. They both deserve to be taught a lesson. He ain't my son no more, not the son I tried to raise. An' Del Mar's to blame. I'm gettin' sick of seein' 'em on my property, sunk so low, hirin' queers. So what's he plannin' to do about it?"

"He wants to come up there an' take care of it. Probably gonna get a tire iron or somethin', get 'em both good."

"Hmph. Tell 'im I'll meet 'im in Riverton, midnight tomorrow, outside the post office an' I'll bring 'im up here. He can do what he wants to 'em...both of 'em." His voice was cold, detached, like he didn't care what happened to his son.

"Right." Joe hung up, satisfied that they were going to get what was coming to them.

John hung up and went to the window, completely unemotional. Jack was attacking some scrub near the barn, and had taken off his shirt, exposing a beautiful muscled chest which Ennis kept glancing at as he tried to help him. Jack seemed to know exactly what he was doing to Ennis, couldn't keep the grin off his face. John felt sickened and moved away, unaware that his phone conversation had been witnessed.

Jack tried not to laugh at Ennis's very obvious arousal, but couldn't keep his face straight. He hadn't planned for this to happen, he had genuinely been too hot working in the sun, but he'd soon discovered that it was kind of fun teasing and tempting Ennis like this. He figured it wouldn't be long before Ennis gave in and took him right there, in fact he hoped he would.

To try and move things along a little, Jack leaned over in full view of Ennis, ass in the air. Ennis gulped and tried not to notice the bulge in his pants. He knew Jack was doing this on purpose, the little tease. He wanted Jack so badly, but his father was in the house, could come outside at any time, and he was not eager to unleash John's wrath, not when they'd been doing so well over the last two weeks.

Jack turned to see Ennis staring at him, practically drooling and excited as could be. He grinned and straightened up. "Got a problem there cowboy?" he asked innocently, hands on his hips, blue eyes sultry. Ennis moved towards him slowly, trembling with desire and stopped right in front of him. He placed his hands on Jack's hips and gazed into his eyes. It was Jack's turn to get excited and he shivered.

Then all of a sudden, Ennis ducked his head to Jack's chest, picked him up clean off the ground and over his shoulder. Jack grabbed at the back of his shirt for dear life as Ennis carried him off and round to the back of the barn, out of sight. He set Jack on his feet and kissed him hard, pushing Jack to the barn wall and knocking his hat off. Jack gave as good as he got, kissing back and grabbing at Ennis's ass. Ennis quickly stripped off his own shirt and pushed his pants down to his knees, then turned Jack to face the wall and undid his jeans from behind.

Jack pressed his hands against the barn wall, gasping at Ennis thrust into him without further ado, kissing his neck and running his hands over his chest. He gasped and swore as he strained for his release, and it came quickly, leaving a nice stain on the barn wall, leading Ennis into his own as he shuddered and dug into Jack's shoulders.

They stood there, breathing heavily, then Ennis pulled out, turned him round and hugged him, feeling the sweat and warmth of Jack's neck. "That's...what ya get...for teasin' me, Jack fuckin' Twist." He kissed Jack's collarbone, feeling love course through his veins.

"Hmm...might do it more often then." Jack replied, and they both chuckled and held each other closer, pants still around their knees.

* * *

><p>"Night, mama." Jack called as he shut the front door behind him, heading for the truck. He smiled at Ennis as he got in, and Ennis drew him into a warm embrace and leaned back onto the seat, pulling Jack on top of him. Jack was surprised but didn't resist. Sometimes Ennis just wanted to hold him, just be there with him, which he could admit he also loved.<p>

Ennis gazed up into Jack's blue eyes, hands twining through his dark hair with a small smile on his lips. Jack pressed his hands onto Ennis's chest, feeling his heartbeat, his heart beating for him. He didn't move a muscle, didn't want to break the spell, for Ennis seemed content to just lie here and look at him, touch him.

Ennis cupped the back of Jack's neck, then pulled him down for a soft kiss, very much like their first. When they broke apart Ennis pulled Jack's head into the crook of his shoulder and held him there, running his free hand over Jack's back. Jack kissed at his neck and slid his hands out from Ennis's chest and onto the seat, straddling him. Jack took his cue from Ennis and didn't try to move things along, it was as if they could read each others' minds, quite a feat considering the fact they'd only been lovers for about three months now. They had connected, snapped together like pieces of a puzzle, they belonged together.

Jack nuzzled into Ennis's neck and breathed in his scent, feeling their hearts beat close together. "I love you." He whispered into his partner's ear.

Ennis smiled and held him closer with both hands. "I love you too."

They lay like that for a while, listening to the other breathe. Sleep was far from them yet but it was okay, they were happy like this.

Jack wasn't entirely sure if he'd fallen asleep or not, but he was roused by a loud clap of thunder. He jumped and stirred Ennis, who was still awake. "You hear that?" Jack mumbled sleepily.

"Mmm." Ennis relinquished his grip on Jack and let him rise up so they could see each other. Jack twirled his fingers round Ennis's curls as he loved to and then kissed him again, a kiss with a bit more purpose behind it. Jack continued to kiss him as he sat up onto the seat, Ennis following him as they wrapped their arms around each other.

They nuzzled at each others' faces and pressed closer in a way that would get them hard pretty soon. Jack then slowly lay backwards onto the seat and pulled Ennis on top of him, coaxing Ennis's tongue into his eager mouth, nipping at it, running his own tongue around Ennis's mouth. He snaked his hands between them and undid his belt buckle as Ennis quickly undid his own. They pushed their pants down and ran their hands all over each other's faces and necks.

Ennis rose up and looked into Jack's eyes, which were reflecting the stars shining through the windscreen. The sight almost took his breath away. What a beautiful creature lay before him, the most perfect being he'd ever seen, no contest. He didn't consider himself beautiful, not the way Jack was, he sure didn't have such gorgeous eyes as Jack did, and that mouth...that mouth was made for smiling and kissing and...well, other things that Jack was so talented at, he couldn't deny that. Those rosy red lips, perfectly kissable. That thought went through his head as he leaned down and gave those lips a kiss, feeling them change shape to meet his own, tongue flicking out to meet his.

"Ennis." Jack whispered when they broke apart. His eyes were shining now, almost pleading. "Ennis, please..." he was hard and couldn't hold out much longer. Ennis nodded and rose up so he could take his position. Jack had no chance of wrapping his legs round Ennis's waist while his jeans were still on, so settled for drawing them up to his chest as far as he could to give Ennis access, and widened them as far as they would go so Ennis could settle between them. With a bit of manoeuvring, Ennis managed to settle himself and gently claim his lover's body, pulling up until he was fully sheathed. Jack felt peace overtake him at finally getting what he wanted, he'd have been begging by now if Ennis had held out any longer.

Ennis kissed Jack all over his face as he thrust into him, and Jack let the feeling wash over him, all other senses switching off as he closed his eyes. He brought Ennis's head down for a kiss and then he cupped his head into his own shoulder as Ennis had earlier. Ennis gladly made use of this position, kissing Jack's neck while smoothly thrusting. Jack opened his eyes and looked down over Ennis's back and the sight of Ennis with his pants down near his knees, and the feeling between his legs was enough to send him over the edge. He bit his lip to stop himself yelling and felt Ennis come inside him, shuddering and then collapsing into Jack's arms.

They waited for their senses to catch up with them, then Ennis pulled out and gave Jack a loving smile, which Jack replied in kind. They pulled their pants up and Ennis settled himself onto Jack's chest again, tucking his head into Jack's shoulder and straddling him. He was soon asleep and Jack soon followed, his last thought being how much he loved the man in his arms and how happy he made him.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, they were still sleeping peacefully, breathing in unison. Then all of a sudden, they were jolted awake by the sound of a truck starting. They looked at each other for a second, then Ennis rose up off Jack's chest and looked out around the front yard. A few feet away, John's truck was springing into life and before either of them could register this, he was off down the road.<p>

_What's he doin' tearin' off in the middle of the night? _Both of them thought at the same time. Jack had lived in that house all his life, and nowhere in his memory could he recall his father taking off like this, not even on ranch business. He had a very bad feeling about all this.

"Somethin' ain't right," he whispered, and Ennis looked at him. His blue eyes had gone dark and were full of suspicion. "He ain't never done this before."

"Think we should ask yer ma?" Ennis murmured back, seeing the look in Jack's eyes. Jack nodded and they disentangled themselves. They quietly climbed out of the truck and headed for the house.

The kitchen was dark and deserted, but they could see light coming from the living room. When they walked in, they found Rose in her armchair, head in one hand, looking distressed.

"Mama?" said Jack as he walked over to her. She looked at them, eyes full of tears.

"You gotta go. You gotta get outta here, now."

Jack looked back at Ennis, whose face mirrored his own confusion. "Mama, what's wrong?"

She stood up. "Ennis...that girl you were gonna marry...her daddy called Aguirre."

Ennis looked stunned. "He...he did?"

"Yeah...told him how upset she was...an' he wants revenge for her." Jack looked on in alarm.

"What's goin' on, ma?" She looked at her son, heartbreak in her eyes.

"Aguirre called yer daddy...all three of 'em want both of you...dead." she whispered, bringing her hands to her mouth.

Jack looked stricken. "Even my dad?" He couldn't believe it, but saw a confirmation in her eyes. His own father wanted him dead. He knew his father hated him, but never could have imagined he would do this. This was more serious, more deadly. Ennis, for his part, was feeling that familiar protective surge within him, and he reminded himself of his vow to Jack to keep him safe, born from his desire to do right by him.

"So...it's that what he's gone doin'? Plottin' to kill us?" Jack's voice broke with emotion.

"He...he's gone to meet that girl's daddy an' bring him up here, so they can..." she couldn't go on. "I overheard John on the phone to Aguirre...I told him I heard, begged him not to do it but he wouldn't listen. He says you ain't his son no more."

Jack stood there, unable to speak or even think. He was numb with shock and Ennis could sense this. He quickly took charge, knew he would have to if they wanted to live.

"Rose? If it ain't too much trouble could ya...could ya maybe get us some food together or somethin'? We gotta get outta here, like ya said."

"Of course." She hurried into the kitchen and Ennis walked up to Jack, turning him to lock eyes.

"Jack. Look at me darlin'. It's gonna be okay, you hear me?" Jack nodded but couldn't speak. Ennis wasn't entirely sure if he'd even heard him. He needed to get Jack out of here and soon. The revelation that his father hated him enough to allow his attempted murder had sent him into shock. Ennis pulled him into his arms and held him close, running his hands along his back, trying to ease up those tense muscles. It was all he had to give, there wasn't much more he could do with Jack being so unresponsive.

Ten minutes later, they were heading back to the truck. Jack's brain had switched itself back on somewhat, he could at least offer a few words. Ennis got him in the truck and turned to Rose. She'd given them two paper bags full of food and drink, which he'd placed on the floor of the truck beside their own bags. She reached up and hugged him. "You take care of my boy now, okay? I've looked after him for nearly twenty years, it's your job now."

"I know. Don't worry, I will. I'll take good care of him. Thanks for everythin', Rose. You've been real kind."

"Been a pleasure." They broke apart and both looked at Jack, who was staring at his hands, hurt and heartbreak in his eyes. Ennis's heart ached to see Jack in this sort of state again, like he had in Signal. They'd made real progress over the last two weeks, and now it felt like they were back to square one. He knew he'd have to make good on his statement and look after Jack, be there when he needed him. And he sure needed him now. Ennis told Rose he'd get Jack to call her when he was feeling up to it, and with a final goodbye he got in the truck.

Before he started up the truck, he looked across at Jack, who looked back at him, looking totally lost and scared. Ennis held up his arm and Jack shuffled over silently, wrapping his arms around Ennis's waist, Ennis's arm over his shoulders, silently letting his tears fall.

Ennis sighed as he started up the truck. "S'okay, rodeo. I gotcha. I'm here." Jack didn't respond, simply buried his face closer into Ennis's chest, but he felt as he always did with Ennis around, safe, loved and protected.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, they pulled into a motel just outside Gillette. Ennis stopped the truck and looked at Jack, sound asleep next to him. He brushed Jack's dark hair from his forehead and stroked his cheek. He looked just like an angel, peaceful, without the expression of everyday stressors on his face. Jack didn't stir at the touch, just kept breathing in and out. Ennis thought to leave him be while he went in to rent a room, but what if Jack woke up while he was gone and panicked? He couldn't leave him, not after what they'd just escaped from.<p>

Ennis sighed and shuffled closer, leaning over to Jack's face and kissed his cheek. "Jack? Come on bud, wake up." Jack's eyelids slowly crept open.

"Huh?" he croaked, looking around blearily into the darkness around them.

"We're at a motel. I was gonna go in an' rent a room, didn't want ya to wake up on yer own."

Jack nodded. "Okay..." was as far as he got before sleep took him again.

Ennis felt sorry for him. _Poor guy's exhausted. We had a real rocky start, he's been scared of it all endin' an' now his daddy wants him dead. I gotta look after him. The least I can do._ He quietly climbed out of the truck and went into the owner's office. Fortunately the owner was still awake and didn't seem to bothered by the late hour at which they'd arrived.

Ennis cleared his throat. "Um...evenin'. You got any vacancies?"

The owner nodded, giving a polite little smile. "Sure do, room number one's free, right on the end. How many nights?"

"Uh...just one, thanks." Ennis mumbled. He still wasn't too good at interacting with people he didn't know. He had improved, he thought, for Jack's love and affection had opened him up somewhat, but only to people he really knew and trusted, especially since he'd decided to be with Jack.

"How many people?"

"Um, two." He didn't say anything else. _Nobody's business but ours, _Jack's words rang in his head.

_But it sure ain't no one-shot thing goin' on here though, _he thought to himself_. _

The owner nodded, thankfully didn't ask any questions, probably presumed the other was a girl anyway. He'd seen plenty of young guys pull up with a sweetheart, getting away from their folks. "That'll be $30 then." Ennis gave him the money and was given the key, tipping his hat as he left the room.

When he got back to the truck. Jack was sound asleep again. It pained Ennis to wake him up but he couldn't carry Jack to the room and unlock it at the same time.

"Jack?" he whispered. "Come on, darlin', got us a room an' I can't carry you there." Jack sat up for a moment, blinking at Ennis. He tried to move, but his body felt like lead and he was getting a headache. He was drained, and still numb with shock over his father's actions. He shook his head, tears gathering at his eyes.

"Sorry...I can't..."

Ennis felt like his heart was being torn out to see his Jack like this, strong, confident Jack. He hated all three of those men so much for this, but especially John for doing this to his son. He hadn't thought that he could hate the man any more than he already did, but this night had proved him wrong. He looked at the motel room door, thinking. Then an idea sprung to mind.

"Don't worry about it." He whispered to Jack, who just lay there, silent. The area was deserted, and it was pitch black anyway. He went over to the door and unlocked it, then came back and grabbed the bags from the floor of the truck, depositing them in one corner of the room. Next, he went to one side of the bed and peeled back the sheets. He left the door open and went back out to the truck, where Jack hadn't moved. He reached in and took him by the shoulders, gently pulling him out of the truck. He hated disturbing him, but in just a few minutes he'd be in a warm bed, much better off. He drew Jack into his arms, one arm under Jack's legs, the other firmly around his waist, once more thankful for his own strength and Jack's light body. He pushed the truck door shut with his ass and carefully carried Jack to the room, Jack's head against his chest.

He shut the motel door in the same way and carried Jack to the side of the bed where he'd peeled the sheets back. He lowered Jack down onto it and pulled off his boots, hat and furry green jacket, placing them in a corner. Jack shuffled a little onto his side and curled up, making Ennis smile with affection. He pulled the sheets back up and tucked him in, then walked round the bed, before removing his own outdoor clothing and climbing in. Jack was facing towards him and briefly, his blue eyes opened a sliver. He smiled at Ennis, unable to speak but silently thanking him. Ennis smiled back and stroked his cheek, the love he felt for Jack reflected in those deep sapphires, then shuffled to his side, arms around his back, while Jack tucked his head into Ennis's shoulder. He felt warm and safe, sending up a prayer of thanks that Ennis had decided to take the sheep herding job up on Brokeback.

* * *

><p><em>The sun was shining down on them, in a cloudless blue sky, reflected in the warm blue of his eyes as he gazed at the man in his arms. They were lying on the ground in the fields, and he could hear birds singing. Ennis was somewhat heavier than him but he was used to it by now, he didn't feel heavy at all, and as they kissed and held each other all that mattered was the two of them, and<em> _all was right with the world._

_Ennis gazed into his eyes, a face full of love, that wide grin on his face that he only showed to Jack, who responded with his own wide grin. Ennis tucked his head into Jack's shoulder and nuzzled at him, while Jack ran his hands down Ennis's back._

_Then suddenly, Ennis's body was pulled from him by two pairs of hands. Jack sat up in alarm as Ennis was dragged off by two men, one he knew, one he didn't. Ennis tried to fight them off but they were too much. Jack got to his feet and made to run towards them, but was held back by another pair of hands._

"_You stay where you are, boy." His father's voice growled in his ear. He couldn't fight off his father, was forced to watch helplessly as the tire irons went up and down._

"_Ennis! Ennis!" he cried out, distressed. "No, please!" There was blood everywhere and Ennis's yells had long since stopped. The job done, Aguirre and the unknown man darted back to their truck and sped off. His father finally released him and he ran forward on trembling legs, dropping to his knees when he reached Ennis._

_He was bleeding profusely, white and shaking. He looked up into Jack's face, which was stained with tears. He put his hands on Ennis's chest and sobbed._

"_Ennis...please don't leave me..."_

_Ennis smiled sadly, and brought a shaking hand to Jack's cheek. "I...love...you...always." he croaked out._

"_I love you too...I always will..." Jack shook and cried, covering the hand on his cheek with his own, gripping it tight. Then it went limp and fell to Ennis's side. They locked eyes one last time, before Ennis's fell shut. The pain ripped at Jack and he threw himself over his lover's body, sobbing and letting the blood stain his clothes._

"No...please...Ennis...come back..." Jack was moaning and crying out in his sleep. Ennis woke up at the sound of his voice, and saw the distressed state he was in. He grew alarmed and leaned over Jack, placing his hands on his shoulders. He'd heard that you shouldn't wake people up like this, but he couldn't let Jack suffer.

"Jack...Jack, wake up!" he shook him awake, and Jack looked at him, chest heaving. Ennis was alive and safe, they were both safe. He immediately tackled Ennis, slamming into his body and pulling him closer, making them both roll to the other side. Ennis held Jack tightly, feeling the tears on his neck, and his breaths coming short and sharp.

"Shh...it's okay. I'm here." He soothed, stroking Jack's hair. "I'm here."

"Ennis...you're here..." he sobbed. "There were t-tire irons, blood everywhere...they got you..."

_Oh my God. _Ennis took hold of Jack by the shoulders again and sat them both up in bed. He held Jack in front of him and pushed his chin up gently, fixing their eyes together. Jack saw the warmth in Ennis's brown eyes, alive and full of love. The shock was fading and his breathing was slowly returning to normal. Ennis leaned in and kissed him gently, waiting for a response. Jack kissed back and felt his fright melt away, then looked into his partner's eyes again.

"Ennis...thank God you're here." He breathed, relieved that his ordeal was just a dream, and that it was over. That was what Ennis had hoped for, that recovery, and they wrapped their arms around each other with equal enthusiasm. Jack buried his face into Ennis's neck, warm with sleep, one of his favourite areas, while Ennis kept one hand on the back of his head.

Jack breathed a sigh of relief and pulled away, managing a smile. Ennis brushed his hair from his face, happy that he'd managed to do something like that. He'd promised to look after Jack, and he was proud of himself. He hated seeing Jack upset, his wonderful Jack who was smiling fully at him and seemed back to normal, blue eyes sparkling again.

_God, I love him...so much. I wish...I wish I could marry him, show him what he means to me. It's a damn shame I can't...but maybe there's other ways to show 'im. _

"You okay now, rodeo?" he whispered, stroking Jack's cheek.

Jack swallowed and nodded. "I am now, thanks to you. You're amazin', you know that?"

Ennis blushed and shrugged, a grin on his face. "I just love you is all. Come on, we gotta try an' get more sleep. We gotta talk tomorrow, 'bout what we're gonna do."

Jack nodded. He was apprehensive about going to sleep again so soon, and this showed on his face, which Ennis caught. He let go of Jack and lay back down, motioning to him to follow. Jack did so, and Ennis turned him onto his side so they were back to chest, Jack spooning into him. He tucked one arm across Jack's body, holding him tight, protecting him. He would not go to sleep until Jack was, no matter how much his eyes drooped. Jack was awake for several minutes, while Ennis patiently waited.

Jack finally drifted off again, breathing deeply. Ennis smiled and closed his eyes, pulling Jack just a little closer before joining him in dreamland.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Jack's eyes opened blearily early the next morning. The side of the bed next to him was empty but he could hear the shower running. He sighed and rolled onto his back, stretching. He thought back to last night. What had gotten into him? He knew his father hated him, had done since he was a kid, for whatever reason. But this...this had been different. His father tried to have him and Ennis killed. This wasn't just hatred; it was far more powerful than that. It had sent him into shock, unable to think straight or even function. He was immensely grateful to Ennis for taking charge of the situation and getting them away.

He thought about everything that had happened so far. His emotional state had been like a rollercoaster, all over the place. But through it all, Ennis had been there, showing him he loved him. He hadn't left his side as he'd once feared he would. He'd stuck by Jack even when things got tough. Didn't that say something about Ennis's feelings? He was incredibly lucky to have someone like him.

He heard the shower stop and turned his head to face the bathroom. Ennis came out, running a hand through his hair, stopping when he saw Jack was awake. Their faces broke into grins at the same time and Jack sat up, holding out his arms. Ennis went and sat next to him, and they held each other tightly, Jack nuzzling into Ennis's neck.

When they broke apart, Ennis stroked Jack's cheek, and Jack played with Ennis's damp curls, eyes roaming over each others' faces. Jack then leaned in and kissed him, a warm, gentle, I-love-you sort of kiss.

"You wanna get a shower, rodeo?" Ennis asked when they were finished. Jack nodded and Ennis let him get out of bed. While Jack was in the shower, Ennis rummaged through the paper bags Rose had given them. She'd made fresh sandwiches, and wrapped up pieces of cherry cake, along with cartons of juice. It wasn't exactly a feast, but it was a kind gesture. He took out some of everything and stretched out on the bed, putting some of the food and drink on Jack's side to wait for him.

Jack came out several minutes later and smiled when he saw their breakfast. He joined Ennis on the bed and ate with enthusiasm. They were silent for a moment, just eating and enjoying the warm presence next to them. They'd done that plenty of times up on Brokeback, before and after their relationship had changed.

Ennis cleared his throat and looked at Jack. "Hey, you okay after last night? I mean, I know the whole thing hit ya hard..."

Jack sighed. "Ya know, I ain't really sure what happened. I knew he hated me, but...to think he was gonna do somethin' like that...just shook me, you know? Then that goddamn nightmare...made it worse." Ennis put a hand on Jack's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "I'm just glad yer here. Thanks for...ya know...bein' there for me." Jack smiled.

"Yer welcome. I like bein' there for ya."

"I know I ain't exactly been a barrel o' laughs lately...had us some troubles ain't we? First we couldn't sort ourselves out, then there was everyone else, Aguirre, K.E., now my dad...ain't been easy to cope." He admitted.

Ennis took a deep breath. "Jack...remember in Signal when you was yellin' at me about confusin' ya an' messin' ya around?" Jack nodded. "Well...after that I did some thinkin'...I was ashamed of doin' that to you...so I promised myself I was gonna change. I...I wanna do right by ya, Jack...show ya how much you mean to me. That ain't easy, but...I love you, so..." he trailed off. Jack gave a smile and kissed him on the cheek. He was starting to believe that this really was it, they were going to be together for good, hopefully the rest of their lives.

They fell into silence for a few moments, thinking about various things, like how much they loved the other, fantasising about what their ranch would be like. This thought reminded Jack of what his mother had said. "Hey," he started, looking at Ennis. "Ain't we got some things to decide?"

"Yer right...I guess the first thing is where we're gonna go. I tell ya, Jack...I think we've only got one option – leave Wyomin'." They looked at each other, considering this. Wyoming was their home, and Jack had only been out of state once, Ennis never. Despite their problems here, it was still their home, and the prospect of leaving it was quite scary. Still, if they wanted a completely fresh start, perhaps leaving the state was a good idea. They'd made too many enemies here.

Jack chewed, looking thoughtful. "I think yer right." he said when he'd swallowed. "You still wanna check out Colorado? Like my mama said? There's a noticeboard up somewhere with ranches...did she say Fort Collins?"

Ennis nodded. "Sounds like a good place to look, maybe start over. Might be somewhere in Loveland, you were right, it sounds perfect fer us."

"I wanna call my mama though, make sure she's okay. Bet my daddy ain't happy she tipped us off. You wanna see Cecilia again before we leave? It's been two weeks, an' you dunno when we'll see her again once we're outta state."

"Yeah I'd like to see her again. Might as well keep her up to date. An...I wanna try an' call K.E. while I'm there. He's had time to cool off, maybe he'll talk to me."

"Mmm, maybe."

"So how's this?" Ennis started, sitting up straight and taking hold of Jack's hand. "We go to Casper, see Cecilia one last time, maybe spend the night again. You can call yer mama, an' I'll call K.E. Then we set off for Colorado. How's that?"

Jack smiled at the last part. Off to find their own ranch. Their sweet life was about to begin.

"Sounds like a plan, cowboy."

* * *

><p>They arrived back in Casper just after noon. Cecilia was thrilled to see them again and the kids even more so. She made them a hearty lunch and the three of them sat down, talking about what had happened over the last two weeks. They filled her in on all the work they'd done on the Twist ranch (discreetly leaving out their 'inspection' of the barn), and she agreed it would be good practice for them for when they got their own place.<p>

She was shocked by the plot Alma's father tried to carry out against them, and praised Ennis for taking charge of the situation, which Jack pointed out he was extremely grateful for. He said truthfully that he didn't know what he would have done if Ennis hadn't been there, which made Ennis blush.

"So, what happens now?" she asked, sipping her coffee.

Ennis and Jack looked at each other. "Well, sis...we've thought about it an'...we're thinkin' we'll hafta leave Wyomin'. We've made too many enemies here, it ain't safe."

"Oh...where you gonna go?" she asked, looking at them.

"Well, Jack's ma said somethin' about there bein' ranches for sale down in Colorado...we're gonna go take a look, see if we can find somethin'." Ennis replied, exchanging a glance with Jack, whose earlier images of their dream ranch were coming back to him.

Cecilia nodded. "Leavin' the state...big step huh? But yer right, it probably is better to leave. You build a successful ranch here, yer reputation's gonna grow...it ain't safe."

"Yeah...so uh, have you heard from K.E. lately?" Ennis asked apprehensively. He wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to hear what his brother might have to say about him.

To his relief, however, she shook her head. "No...I asked him if he was gonna call you, an' he said he'll think about it. He said he's gonna think this whole thing over. But I ain't heard nothin' since." Ennis and Jack both exhaled in relief. They weren't entirely sure if they wanted to hear from K.E. just yet.

"Well, thing is sis...I wanna try callin' him. It's been two weeks, an' me an' Jack agreed he's had time to cool off, right? I wanna give it a shot, he's still my brother."

"Well...I guess it's worth a shot. You might be right, he might be more willin' to listen." She replied, trying to sound convinced.

"Um...Cecilia?" Jack piped up. "If it's okay...can I use yer phone to call my mama? She tipped us off about what was goin' on an'...I wanna make sure she's okay, you can bet my daddy was pissed about it." He didn't want to contemplate the idea that his father might have hurt his mother for helping them get away. The guilt would be too much for him, and that depression he'd felt last night would come back.

"Sure, Jack. Help yourself." She said, smiling. "I guess yer family now, huh?" Ennis and Jack grinned at each other as she got up to gather dishes. All of a sudden, her two children ran into the room, jumping into their laps.

"Uncle Ennis, know what? My teacher's gettin' married next week! She told us, an' she's gonna change her name an' they're gonna have a big weddin'! Ain't it excitin'?" squeaked Amy, eyes shining.

Ennis chuckled. "Sure is, sweetheart. Bet she's excited." He said, looking across at Jack, who had little Jimmy on his knee and had put his hat on his head, where it kept falling down past his eyes.

"Uncle Ennis, are you gettin' married?" Amy asked, gazing up at him. Ennis and Jack exchanged a glance, then Ennis said, "No, honey, I ain't gettin' married. Why d'you ask?"

"I was thinkin'...mama says you love Uncle Jack like she loves daddy. Why don't you marry Uncle Jack, Uncle Ennis?"

Ennis looked up at Cecilia, who had a guilty grin on her face at her daughter ratting her out. Ennis then looked at Jack, whose blue eyes sparkled with love at him, a wide grin on his own face.

"Well...thing is, sweetheart...I can't marry Uncle Jack. I do love him, yer mama's right. But...people say two guys can't get married like yer mama an' daddy, or like yer teacher. He knows I love him, though, doncha Jack?" he looked up at him, an apology in his eyes for the harsh truth that they both knew, but the reassurance that the love was there anyway, and strong.

"I know it, Ennis. An' I love you too." Jack said softly. He didn't need the apology. As far as he was concerned, he didn't need Ennis to prove anything to him anymore. Ennis had stuck by him through their toughest time yet, and they were still very much together. He knew that if those "people" Ennis spoke of ever did a U-turn and said guys like them could get married, the pair of them would be first in line, they'd be tripping over themselves to get to the altar. But until a miracle like that happened, they would have to stay comfortable in that knowledge, that they loved each other enough to be prepared to do that if the opportunity arose.

Still, they were happy. They were committed to each other in heart and soul, if not on paper. Wasn't that more important? There must be married couples out there united on paper but not truly in their hearts, yet they were allowed to make that commitment. That didn't seem fair.

Ennis's voice shook him from his thoughts. "Um, sis...with us makin' phone calls an' everythin, we were wonderin'...is it okay fer us to spend the night here again like last time? We dunno when we'll see you again an'...well..." he went red, trying to convey that he wanted to spend time with his big sister because he loved her and would miss her.

Fortunately she got the message and nodded. "Sure, spare bedroom's free. Yer welcome to stay as long as you want."

Ennis smiled. "Thanks sis."

* * *

><p>The two of them settled on the sofa, and with a deep breath, Jack picked up the phone. Ennis shuffled closer as Jack dialled his home number. They looked at each other and Jack pulled at the cord to put the phone between them. They listened to the rings in silence, holding their breath. They had agreed that if John picked up, they would hang up straightaway without speaking and try later. Jack figured that since it was the middle of the afternoon his father would be working out in the fields, but then again, he could be standing by the phone in case Jack called. Jack wouldn't put it past him.<p>

Jack felt relieved when he heard his mother's voice. "Hello?"

"Hey ma, it's me."

"Jack! Thank goodness! Are you both okay? Where are you?" The two of them smiled in relief that she sounded okay, Jack grabbing at the front of Ennis's shirt. Ennis put his arm around Jack's shoulder, squeezing him.

"We're fine. We're at Ennis's sister's house in Casper, been here a couple hours. We stayed at a motel last night in Gillette, got here just after noon. You okay?"

"I'm fine. I went up to bed just after you left, and pretended to have been asleep the whole time. I don't know if he believes me, but at least he ain't done nothin'. That's what matters. He really did bring that fella up here, you know. That girl's daddy. Had those god awful tire irons with them." She said, voice thick with emotion and worry over what had almost happened. "He was so angry you'd gotten away. Are you okay, Jack? You were in a real state when you left."

"I'm okay, I was just in shock, ya know? I mean, I knew he hated me but...I didn't think he'd do somethin' like that. I'm just glad Ennis was there. He was so great." He smiled, looking at Ennis as they linked fingers.

"I'm so glad you've found someone, Jack. I knew that someone would see all the good in you that I do, an' love you for it. You need someone to look after you."

Jack felt a prick of tears in his eyes. "I'm glad too ma." He whispered, looking straight into Ennis's eyes. Ennis could hear every word Rose said and felt his heart lift at hearing Jack confirm his happiness.

"So...what happens now? You can't come back here. It ain't safe."

"We know. We was talkin' about it this mornin' an'...we've decided to leave Wyomin'. We've upset too many people here. Remember what you said before about ranches in Colorado? We're gonna drive down there an' take a look, see if we can find somethin'."

"I see...well, good luck to you both. I hope you find somewhere. Someplace nice. I think I'd better go, yer daddy's gonna be comin' in soon."

"Yeah. So...I'll call you in a few days, okay? We're gonna be stayin' in motels, so...I'd better call you. We ain't gonna be stayin' in one place too long. I...I'm gonna miss ya, mama." He choked. Ennis held him close again, letting their cheeks touch. He remembered his own mother, whom he had loved a lot. He and Jack were similar in that way. A mother that would love them unconditionally, but a father who squashed them down and did things that had almost ruined their lives, childhood experiences that only time would heal.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Jack. Both of you. You'll always be my baby boy, but you ain't a kid no more, you gotta get on with yer life. At least yer happy. You take care Jack."

"I will mama. I love you."

"Love you too, son."

Jack hung up and sighed, wiping at his eyes. He'd heard how hard it was for someone to leave their family home, fly the nest after living there all their life. And it was. But his mother was right. He was happy, he had Ennis with him. The whole prospect wasn't so scary anymore.

He looked at Ennis, smiling, and Ennis wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. Jack's oddly unique scent of cigarettes and whiskey came over him. How was it that such a smell didn't repulse him? He'd figured that such a combination would be a turn-off, but he loved it. Was it because it was Jack, whom he would love no matter what he smelled of?

Or was it for another reason? He thought about the smell. It was unmistakeably male, nothing feminine about it. Come to think about it, he'd never cared for Alma's perfume, or any other girly scent. He thought about Jack in general. He was unmistakeably male too, nothing feminine about him either. And he...he loved it. He loved how masculine Jack was.

He thought about the time he'd first seen Jack naked, that second night in the tent. Jack had encouraged him to look down there, and when he did, he'd been in admiration, he hadn't been repulsed, had felt sorry for Jack when he'd seen the scarring. Hell, he'd been down there himself enough times to know it didn't repulse him. Yes, their first time face to face had scared him, but ever since their first night in that motel in Signal the whole thing didn't bother him anymore. He actually now preferred doing it that way, he loved kissing Jack and looking into his eyes. And he knew he loved going down on Jack, they both loved it when he was down there. Same as how they loved it whenever Jack went down on him.

So it didn't bother him, the reality of their relationship, that they were both men. That was okay. And Jack could turn him on more effectively than any woman. That was okay too. Jack _was _pretty damn sexy. He couldn't deny that.

So what did it mean? There was only one possibility, that word that had haunted him for so long, yet now actually might apply to him. He'd have to do some more thinking about that.

* * *

><p>"So, what was all that about earlier?" Jack asked Ennis as they stripped on either side of the bed. They'd spent another pleasant evening with Cecilia, Tom and the children, playing board games and listening to the radio. Tom had told them that he'd been in contact with his cousin Adam, and that he and his partner were eager to meet Ennis and Jack, who were happy to meet them once they were settled. They thought that it would be a good thing for all of them, to meet another couple like them, who would understand what it was like.<p>

Ennis looked up at him. "What?" he asked as he pulled his pants down.

Jack gulped and tried to remember what he'd been about to say, but he had become rather distracted. "Um...what Amy said before, 'bout you marryin' me. Sorta surprisin', doncha think?"

"Yeah I guess," he replied as they got under the covers and huddled together. "I never expected that, I gotta admit." He ran a hand through Jack's dark hair, loving its velvety texture.

"So, uh...whaddaya think?"

"I ain't followin' you."

Jack sighed. "I know we can't...not properly, but...it gets to me. I mean, yeah, we're committed and stuff, but...it don't seem fair."

Ennis could hear the disappointment in Jack's voice, and he himself could feel it. It wasn't fair that they couldn't do that one thing because somebody somewhere had said so. They loved each other, and while they'd only known each other a few months, everything about it felt right, so if circumstances were different they probably would be engaged by now.

He sighed and gently pushed Jack onto his back, crawling on top of him and straddling him.. Jack wrapped his arms around Ennis's back and looked up at him, those deep blue eyes that Ennis felt he could drown in if he looked into them for too long, which actually didn't seem too much of a hardship. He leaned down and kissed Jack softly on his lips, hands in his hair again.

After a few minutes of soft, slow kisses, Ennis drew back and looked into Jack's eyes again. "It gets to me too, darlin'. You know I love you, an' it really pisses me off we can't do that one thing. But you gotta know, I would if I could. I swear I would."

Jack smiled. "I know."

Ennis pressed his hands to Jack's face. "An' I promise, if there ever comes a day when they say we can, I'm gonna be draggin' you down that aisle before ya can say 'I do'."

"I think I'll be draggin' you." Jack smirked. "If that day ever comes, an' you wanna do it, I promise I'll say yes. I don't think I'll be takin' yer name though."

"Good, then I won't be able to call ya Jack fuckin' Twist no more."

"Yeah. You could always change yours though. Ennis fuckin' Twist, cos it's right ain't it?" Jack said. "That's what yer good at."

They giggled and kissed again, feeling that familiar feeling in their groins, that aching that only the other could satisfy. But before anything else happened, Ennis suddenly broke away. "Wait a sec." Jack looked at him, confused. To his displeasure, Ennis rolled off him and got out of bed, both bodies feeling unpleasantly cold. He was rummaging in the bags, bending over in full view of Jack, which wasn't helping.

He found what he was looking for and straightened up, crawling back into bed and over Jack again. He reared up onto his knees and held out what he was holding. It was a tub of lubricant, their very first.

"Oh..." Jack said as he realised what it was. "Well, that oughta make things easier I guess. Better than that grease you got from the elk."

Ennis pulled a face. "You tryin' to kill the mood? Don't remind me of that."

Jack grinned. "Sorry. Go ahead."

Ennis opened the tub and ran his fingers through it. He looked at Jack, who nodded encouragingly. He got some more on his fingers and slicked himself up, before putting the tub on the bedside table.

"You ready?" he asked, looking at Jack with that twinkle in his eyes. Jack nodded and lifted his legs up, which Ennis guided around his waist and gathered Jack into his arms. He pressed himself forward and into Jack, both of them gasping when they felt how smooth and easy the motion became with this wondrous new product they'd discovered. Jack's eyes were shining with excitement and he couldn't stop grinning.

Ennis kissed him firmly, one arm behind his head as he easily went in and out, their bodies rocking together slowly like an ocean wave. Jack's hands went wandering down to Ennis's ass, pulling him ever closer while Ennis slipped a hand between them. Jack gasped out loud, lost in euphoria as the world seemed to slip away and all he was aware of was Ennis on him and inside him. The sweat was pouring from Ennis onto Jack but neither of them cared. Their mouths crushed together frantically and they grabbed at each other harder.

Usually he would feel some discomfort while Ennis was inside him, but the pleasure had always been well worth it and he'd never minded too much anyway. But now, all he could feel was pleasure, building further and further as he strained for his release, which came swiftly and led Ennis into his own, both of them shuddering and Jack bucking underneath him.

Ennis collapsed onto Jack's chest as their heartbeats slowly returned to normal. They couldn't do much except breathe heavily right now, minds still reeling from what had just happened. Ennis rolled off Jack onto his back and Jack pulled the sheets back over them. He smiled at Ennis and kissed him on the cheek. Ennis smiled back and held Jack close, running his hand through Jack's now damp hair as they fell into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

><p>They once more settled onto the sofa, the phone in Ennis's hand between them so they could both hear. Ennis looked at Jack, clearly nervous about what he was about to attempt. Jack wrapped one arm around Ennis's shoulders and gave him a squeeze.<p>

"S'alright, I'm here." Ennis swallowed and nodded, then dialled. They listened with bated breath to the rings stretching across the miles between them and their destination, apprehensive about what the reaction would be.

Finally, they heard the unmistakeable voice that had growled at them in Signal. Ennis thought for a moment that he could still feel the stinging on his jaw.

"K.E. Del Mar."

"Um, K.E.? It's, uh, it's Ennis."

K.E. grunted. "Whaddaya want?" Ennis and Jack looked at each other. Time hadn't changed anything at all, it seemed.

"I wanted to talk to ya. I know things got bad when I seen ya in Signal a few weeks back..."

"It's that queer's fault fer leadin' ya astray."

"I'd be careful what ya say 'bout Jack. He's right here, he can hear ya."

"Don't care. S'all true."

Ennis sighed. "Okay, maybe he did lead me astray. But you know what? I'm glad he did, cos I ain't never been this happy." Jack looked at him happily.

"I hope yer happy knowin' yer both goin' straight to hell."

Ennis's temper was rearing up. "Look K.E., me an' Jack had to take off from Lightnin' Flat in the middle of the night to save our skins. We don't need this. I was hopin' we could talk, like adults. Like family."

"I told you, you ain't my brother so long as yer with him." K.E. replied stubbornly, having apparently not taken in what Ennis had just said. Jack shook his head and got up to go into the kitchen.

When he was gone, Ennis tried again. "K.E., please, I'm beggin' ya. I'm still yer brother."

K.E. was silent, for so long Ennis wondered if he'd hung up, but then spoke quietly. "I just...I don't get it. After what daddy made us see..."

"I know. I never thought this would happen either. But it did, an' believe me, it wasn't easy to admit I wanted to be with Jack. I'm terrified of somethin' happenin' to him."

"Cecilia told me you had a nightmare in Signal, 'bout seein' Earl."

"Jack told her that. He thinks it was a flashback. Couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth."

"Ya mean..."

"Yep. It gets hard to look at him without seein' his face covered in blood, I'm tryin' to block it out."

"At least daddy ain't around no more."

Ennis's brow furrowed. "Whaddaya mean?"

"I guess you didn't hear...our daddy...he was the one who set the whole thing up."

"You what?" Ennis said, sitting up in shock, then looking at the kitchen door, hoping he hadn't attracted anyone's attention.

"Yep. He had Earl killed. Why d'you think he knew where the body was and nobody else did?" Mama never knew. But it's true. Daddy set it up."

Ennis sat there in shock, trying to take in this new horrifying detail of Earl's death. His own father. Now he had an inkling of how Jack had felt. He needed Jack, now.

"K.E., I...I gotta go. I'll talk to ya sometime..." he trailed off and slammed the phone down, shaking.

Jack was in the kitchen with Cecilia, talking about the situation between Ennis and his brother and voicing their hopes that they could reconcile. He heard Ennis yell his name in a distressed voice and shot up out of his chair, instinctually rushing to the door to his other half.

Ennis was stood there, twisting his hands together and looking scared. Jack went up to him without a word and held him close, feeling Ennis wrap his arms around him and gripping the back of his shirt.

"Shh, it's okay. What did he say? Did he upset you?" He pulled back and looked into Ennis's brown eyes. He hadn't cried but looked in shock. Jack squeezed his shoulders. "What is it?"

Ennis tried to get his throat to work. "He...he said..." he looked at Cecilia. "Sis...our daddy, he...he's the one who...set up what happened to Earl."

Jack and Cecilia looked at each other in shock. They hadn't been expecting that. "Yer daddy?" Jack whispered, stroking Ennis's cheek tenderly. Ennis met his eyes and nodded miserably.

"I couldn't believe it...I just had to hang up. I needed you." Jack kissed him gently in response.

"Well...what about before that? He say anythin' 'bout talkin' to ya?"

Ennis shook his head. "No, nothin' new. I ain't his brother, we're goin' to hell, all that stuff again. Thing is, I think he's havin' a lotta trouble bein' mad at me. I think, more than anythin' he's confused 'bout me doin' this, after what we saw."

"I think yer right, Ennis." Cecilia spoke up. "He still loves you an' he's just havin' trouble gettin' his head around it. Yer his brother, but he hates what yer doin'. He's probably strugglin' to hate you, even though he wants to." She gave a small, sad smile and retreated into the kitchen again.

Jack led Ennis back onto the sofa and held his hands, running his thumbs over Ennis's fingers. He looked up at Ennis, who couldn't meet his eyes. Jack sighed and lifted Ennis's chin with his finger. "C'mere." He whispered, locking their eyes together. He leaned in and kissed him firmly, at first closed-mouth as he felt Ennis respond, then he opened his mouth and let their tongues meet, slowly wrapping around each other.

They broke apart after several minutes, and Jack played with Ennis's curls again as he loved to, especially the ones behind his ears. They were still so young, yet they had been forced to grow up quickly. At least they had each other to fall back on, someone who would catch them and set them back on their feet.

Ennis smiled that shy little smile that always did Jack right in, and Jack responded with his own megawatt grin, showing those dimples that Ennis loved so much. They would be alright. They had each other.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

After Ennis's somewhat unsuccessful phone call to K.E. that morning, he, Jack and Cecilia spent some time talking about the revelation that their father had orchestrated Earl's murder, and why it made some sort of sense that K.E. may not necessarily hate Ennis, was just confused by the lifestyle he'd chosen despite the warning. That wasn't good enough for Ennis, though. He wanted K.E. to be civil about Jack too if they were ever going to reconcile. He vehemently claimed that he would not welcome his brother into his life if he was insulting towards Jack.

Jack was touched by this, but he still felt guilty about tearing the family apart like this, even though he knew Ennis and Cecilia did not blame him. They now knew it really had been their father's fault all along. Still, Jack tried not to think about it as they started off for Colorado after breakfast. There was nothing to be gained from dwelling on it.

The Wyoming landscape flew by them as they headed south. They had it in their heads to travel to Cheyenne and spend the night in a motel, then cross the border to Colorado the next day, take the journey slow, there was no rush.

Jack stretched in his seat, looking around for something to do. He looked at Ennis, who was humming along to the radio as he drove, and an idea sprung to mind. He looked at the road in front of them. Theirs was the only vehicle on the road. Perfect.

He looked back at Ennis, then silently shuffled over to him, head on his upper arm, gazing up at him with those big puppy dog eyes. Ennis shifted and looked down at him, smiling slightly, quickly giving him a little kiss on the lips before turning his attention back to the road.

_We'll just see about that, _Jack thought wickedly. He sat up straighter so he was level with Ennis. He leaned in and started suckling and nibbling at his earlobe, then his neck, then kissing him behind his ear, hand running up and down Ennis's arm.

Ennis shivered slightly. He was getting hard already. That Jack was such a tease, tempting him like this and trying to distract him. Yet how he loved it. He loved it when Jack kissed him and did all those things to him, that amazing, more gentle and romantic side to a relationship that he hadn't known existed before their second night together.

That first night, he'd known what to do only because he'd seen livestock doing it like that, it was the only thing he knew regarding sex. And he'd felt guilty that taking Jack like that must have hurt, yet Jack had hidden it so well and had even been prepared to try the other side, the gentle side. Their relationship was so much more than just sex, it was about a connection between them, one that grew stronger all the time.

He'd thought about their sex life, and realised with a twinge of guilt that he'd always been on top, he'd never had Jack inside him. They'd been down on each other and given each other handjobs, but Jack had never fucked him. He had a feeling that Jack might want to at some point, yet had never pressured him because he didn't want to scare him too badly. He'd never felt ready to submit to another man in such a way, not even Jack, because of his "I ain't queer" mantra. Yet he was now slowly starting to think about the possibility he might be, scary though it was. He knew why Jack had also denied being queer: so he wouldn't frighten him off. But after the Joel Smith thing they'd reached the silent agreement that Jack was queer after all, and it didn't seem to bother him. He was comfortable in his own identity. Maybe, Ennis thought, if he too could admit to it, maybe then he would feel ready to submit to Jack. Just maybe. He could admit he was curious as to how it might feel to have Jack inside him.

His thoughts were cut off by the feeling of Jack's hand, which had wandered down to his crotch and was now rubbing at him as he continued to nibble at Ennis's ear. Ennis couldn't move and didn't want to, everything else started slipping away as Jack undid his belt buckle, pulled the zipper down and slipped his hand inside.

_Jesus, Jack. Find what you were lookin' for? _His mind gasped as Jack's warm hand surrounded him, those fingers driving him crazy.

Ennis moaned in pleasure as Jack fondled him, now kissing him under his jawline as Ennis got harder and harder. He slammed his foot on the brake and stopped the truck. Jack pulled back and looked at him, eyes glittering. Ennis couldn't do much except breathe heavily, was completely overtaken by the feeling of Jack's hand on him.

Jack kissed him full on the mouth, their tongues lapping together as Jack's strokes increased in speed. Ennis suddenly delivered with a jolt into Jack's hand, shuddering and gasping for breath. Jack smirked and drew his hand back out, helping Ennis do up his jeans again. Another kiss and Jack settled back onto his side, looking very pleased with himself.

It took several minutes for Ennis to get his breath back, mind still reeling slightly at the unexpected encounter. He looked at Jack. "Where in the hell did that come from?" he breathed.

Jack shrugged. "I got bored."

Ennis shook his head and reached across, pulling Jack into his arms and nuzzling at his neck. "You want me to take care of you?" he whispered, his hand now travelling down to Jack's crotch.

Jack drew back and chuckled. "Not right now, we better get goin'. You can take care of me when we get to a motel." He answered with a seductive grin, one that Ennis just couldn't resist.

"I'll take that as an open invitation."

* * *

><p>The rain pounded on the window and the wind was howling outside, yet all this went unnoticed by the inhabitants of the small motel room. The clothes were lying around at random and the two figures on the bed were breathing heavily, their senses slowly returning to them.<p>

Jack sighed contentedly and looked at Ennis, both of them flat on their backs, the bed sheets half on the floor. The room seemed strangely silent after the rampant activities that had just occurred there. Ennis sure had got him back good after what he'd done in the truck. He had a feeling he'd be walking funny for a while. It would have been worth it though.

He gently stroked Ennis's cheek, not having the energy to move just yet. Ennis looked at him with a smile as Jack traced his jawline, then turned his face into Jack's fingers and kissed them. How he loved the man next to him, this wonderful man who had shown him something he'd never known before, something he hadn't even known existed, not to the extent he now knew it and felt it. Not once had he regretted choosing Jack, but even if he had questioned it, he knew that one look in Jack's eyes would remind him that this was the right decision. Those amazing eyes.

They gazed at each other peacefully, simply basking in the afterglow, the love between them. Their energy to move was returning to them and Ennis was struck by an idea. He looked at the lamp beside the bed, then back at Jack.

"Hey." He whispered. Jack's eyes had fallen shut but now opened again at Ennis's voice.

"Huh?"

"You got that red bandana somewhere? I got an idea."

Jack frowned, confused. "Uh, sure, it's in the bag..." he got up, a little disoriented and a little sore. He went over to his bag and took great care to make sure his body blocked its contents from view before rummaging around. He swallowed as his fingers brushed over the dried bloodstains on his denim shirt. He located his bandana and straightened up, walking a little stiffly as he'd expected he would. He flopped back onto the bed and handed it to Ennis.

"Here. Not sure what you wanna do with it, but..."

"You'll see." Ennis sat up and turned to face the lamp, knowing that Jack would like this. He pulled the material to its full extent and draped it over the lampshade, casting a red, romantic glow across the room. Pleased with his work, he turned back to Jack, who had started grinning when he'd realised what Ennis was up to. He was thoroughly pleased to see this romantic gesture.

Ennis drew him into his arms, kissing him lightly, then crawled on top of him and straddled him. He didn't have the energy yet for another round but just wanted to kiss, which Jack was all for. They kissed slowly and deeply, mouths pressing tightly, tongues dancing, hearts beating. Jack's arms were around Ennis's neck, crossed over to the shoulders, while Ennis's hands held Jack tightly.

Ennis drew back after several long, sensuous minutes and gazed down into Jack's blue eyes, a red flicker in them reflecting the lampshade. Jack gazed right back up at him, at his deep brown eyes, which he was convinced had just a little bit of green in them. He couldn't see it all the time, usually in daylight when he was on top of Ennis when they were rolling around in the dirt and the sun shone straight into Ennis's eyes. He loved this little detail, a little secret that he felt sure he alone had seen.

"You're beautiful, Jack." Ennis whispered, taking in the curves of the mouth, the mole above his lip that he just loved to run his finger over and, once again, as always, those _eyes._ He'd never seen a more beautiful pair of eyes in his life. He'd never seen a more beautiful being in his life. The most beautiful creature on earth and he loved Ennis right back. Could he be any luckier?

Jack smiled. "You are too, ya know." He replied sincerely. He loved Ennis's boyish looks, the little curls, the small, shy smile. He knew Ennis loved to see his dimples but in his opinion, Ennis had some pretty fine ones of his own when he gave that wide grin, that he was seeing more and more of as time went on.

Ennis shook his head. "I ain't. Not like you are. You...yer perfect, Jack."

Jack tilted his head, smiling. "You may not think you are, but y'are to me. That's all I care about."

"Thanks, but...aw hell, Jack, I dunno. I just never thought of myself that way."

"Oh, an' I have? C'mon, I ain't that vain." Jack responded, smirking a little. "Ennis...you may not think that of yerself, but I do think of ya like that. You don't need to worry."

"I think...I think I'm scared that yer gonna realise I ain't all that after all, an' yer gonna go find someone who is." He bit his lip.

"Hey!" Jack scolded, but gently. He'd never had a thought about leaving Ennis, he'd been scared for a while that Ennis would leave him, but that no longer existed. He'd never really thought about the possibility that Ennis was scared of him leaving.

He could see Ennis's eyes fill with tears of fear and shame. He sighed and rolled them both over, gazing down at Ennis. He wiped the escaped tears away and kissed Ennis again, slowly and gently.

"Ennis, listen to me." He whispered when they broke apart. He held Ennis's face in his hands, made him meet his eyes. "I ain't ever gonna leave you. Ya hear me? Never. What would I do without you? Ennis, you...you complete me, ya know? Yer my other half. Always."

Ennis nodded, relieved to hear Jack confirm what he'd hoped to believe. Jack buried his face in Ennis neck and stayed there, both of them listening to the rain outside, feeling safe and warm.

* * *

><p>Jack yawned and stared into his coffee cup like it held the worlds' secrets. Ennis wasn't feeling particularly alive either. Once their energy had come back to them the night before, they'd started up again and couldn't seem to stop, just couldn't keep their hands off each other. That wasn't entirely unexpected, they were a pair of healthy, red-blooded nineteen year old males in love, so it was pretty much a given that they had an active sex life. Unfortunately, they paid for it by not getting much sleep. Even a shower hadn't done its usual wonders, they were still worn out from the night before and Jack was, indeed, walking funny.<p>

It was still early and the diner was empty. Jack took advantage of the situation to start playing footsie with Ennis under the table, smiling at him. Ennis smiled back, and then feeling bold, lifted his leg and pushed his foot between Jack's legs, rubbing at his groin.

Jack sucked in a breath and Ennis started to feel the effect this footjob was having on him. He didn't think it would be a good idea for Jack to shoot off here in the diner, so he removed his foot and Jack relaxed.

The waitress returned with their breakfasts and they dug in, remembering that morning in Signal when they'd sat in a similar diner for breakfast, where the air could have been cut with a knife, the tension had been so thick. Things couldn't be more different now. Everything had changed for the better.

Jack's mind wandered to their plans. They were in Cheyenne, planned to cross the border into Colorado today. They'd found a map and saw that Fort Collins was directly south past the border. They planned to find the noticeboard and see if they could find anything. They didn't have a lot of money between them, so maybe they could get jobs on another ranch first until they had enough. If push came to shove they would have to live in the truck.

He thought once more about his cousin Becky. He definitely wanted to see her again, had a feeling he could trust her and she would accept his relationship with Ennis. He'd have to stay away from her father though, his uncle. He was cut from the same cloth as his brother and no way would he welcome them. But she was down in Texas, and they hadn't planned to go that far. Maybe they could hold off their plans for Colorado?

He cleared his throat. "Hey, Ennis?"

"Mmm?" he replied, mouth full of coffee.

"I, uh...I got somethin' I wanna ask ya."

"Sure."

"Well...I got this cousin, see. Becky Twist. She's my cousin on my daddy's side. We grew up together, but she an' her part of the family moved when I was ten."

"Really? What's she like?"

"She's real nice, real sassy, you know? Thing is...I ain't seen her since this spring, down in Texas at the rodeo. That's where she moved to. She was my best friend before I met you, an..."

"You wanna go see her?" Ennis finished for him, smiling. Having seen firsthand the kind of family Jack had grown up in, namely his father, Ennis could understand why Jack might want to seek out a more favoured relative.

Jack's face lit up. "I sure would. She'll have just turned nineteen, an' when I saw her she was trainin' to be a barrel racer. I'd like to find out if she made it. Maybe we could stay fer the next rodeo an' we could both compete or somethin'."

"That sounds good." Ennis nodded. "We don't hafta settle right away. We got plenty of time, rodeo. I'm all for goin' to Texas if you wanna."

"Great!" Jack grinned. "I know you'll like her, she's real sweet. An'...I'm thinkin' we can trust her. I'm sure she'll accept us."

"You think so?"

Jack nodded in earnest. "Yep. She was my best friend growin' up, the only real friend I had before I met you."

"You didn't have no friends at school or nothin'? Yer real good with people." Ennis could picture Jack being popular, especially with girls with looks like his. Ironic when you thought about it.

Jack smiled sadly. "I got on with people...but...didn't really have nobody close. Me an' her went to the same school before she moved, she was the only one I wanted to spend time with."

Ennis considered this. "Can I ask ya somethin'?"

Jack nodded.

"What about...what about guys? Did you ever...ya know? Like somebody?"

"I dunno...I ain't gonna pretend I didn't look...but I was so young, barely knew nothin' 'bout sex at all then. I didn't do it with anyone until-" he broke off, biting his lip. He'd been about to mention the year before, when he'd spent the night in the tent with Joel Smith, but he knew that would be playing with fire.

Ennis caught on to what he'd been about to say, and smiled. "S'okay, Jack. Water under the bridge. Don't worry about it."

Jack looked like something was bugging him, something he needed to get out. "You gotta know...that night with him...it was me who...ya know, did it. Like what you did on our first night. He didn't resist or nothin', but he still went off like a bat outta hell the next mornin'."

"It was you?" Ennis asked, surprised. He had to admit he hadn't entirely expected that.

Jack nodded. "Yep. So, friend, if it's any consolation, yer the only one who ever rode this cowboy." He said, pointing at himself. "The only one who ever made me feel like a million bucks."

Ennis went red and looked down, a smile playing on his lips. Oddly enough, it did make him feel better that nobody but him had been inside Jack. And he knew that, when the time was right, Jack would be the only one who would ever have been inside him. That territory was theirs and theirs alone.

* * *

><p>They crossed the border to Colorado a few hours later, taking the direct route south to Fort Collins. Their decision to go down to Texas and find Becky didn't necessarily mean they couldn't at least take a look at ranches and jobs, they were still likely to be available when they came back.<p>

With some asking around, they managed to find the noticeboard in question and take a look.

"Lesse...ranch hand work down in Delta...few places just outside Colorado Springs...looks promisin'..." Jack mused, studying the notices.

Ennis squinted, trying to focus in spite of his bad eyesight. "Can ya see anywhere in Loveland?" he asked.

"Uh...yeah there's a couple ranches there...whoo-wee, they ain't cheap though. Might be jobs round there though. An' we can pass through on our way to Texas, see what it's like." Jack answered, looking at him.

"Yeah...I don't really wanna move too near Denver though, Jack, it's real big ain't it? We wanna live quiet..."

"I know, there's plenty of wide open spaces, bound to find somewhere that suits us."

They fell silent as they continued to scrutinise the options. A large flyer caught Jack's attention. "Hey, lookit that Ennis." He said, pointing.

Ennis turned to see. It was an advert for a rodeo in Texas, starting in two days. There was a list of events on each day.

"There's barrel racin' on the twelfth, an' bull ridin' startin' on the fourteenth..." Jack read aloud. "I wonder if Becky's competin'...hope she made it."

"Maybe...what was she like at it? Was she any good?"

"From what I can remember, yeah, she was. She's real good with horses, an' she's smart. I bet she could do real well. Ya gotta be real quick in barrel racin'."

"You gonna take part in bull ridin'?" Ennis asked dubiously. He didn't want Jack to get hurt, and he knew how dangerous bull riding could be. Still, Jack was young and strong, he'd probably be okay.

"Yeah I think I will...earn us some more money maybe...like I said before, money's a good point."

"Mm. We'd better get a move on, rodeo, if we gotta be there in a few days." Ennis stepped away, looking at Jack.

"Yeah, comin'..." Jack tore himself away from the noticeboard, once more thinking about that little secret about Texas of his that he'd pushed to the back of his mind, one that could create problems for them. He suddenly remembered that Becky knew about it. He knew she wouldn't tell anyone on purpose, but he'd have to remind her to be careful and watch what she said, especially around Ennis.

They got back in the truck and started heading south, intending to take a look at Loveland as they drove past.

Jack sighed. "Hey," he started, remembering something Ennis had said, they day they'd met. "Didn't you say you'd done some rodeoin'? What did ya do?"

Ennis smiled slightly. "Calf-ropin. Tried it a few times."

Jack nodded, impressed. "You good?"

"I dunno...my daddy wasn't there no more by the time I was old enough. I did it to try an' get some money, but...I ain't too good with ropin', or lassoin' stuff." He shook his head.

Jack smiled. "I wouldn't say that, cowboy."

Ennis looked at him. "Whaddaya mean?"

Jack fixed him with those puppy dog eyes that he loved so much. "You done lassoed this here rodeo cowboy, an' his heart. You got him good."

Ennis got that half-grin fully onto his face. "Guess I did." He repeated softly. "You got me good too, Jack." They linked fingers on the seat between them and held on there.

They passed through Loveland on their way. There were some lovely ranch houses for sale on the outskirts and even though it was a city, it wasn't too bustling. They knew it would certainly be less so than Denver. And living on the outskirts would ensure that their lives would be somewhat peaceful. Being a city so close to Denver, they had a feeling that the tolerance levels here might be different, better. They certainly got that vibe as they walked around a bit. Nobody looked at them suspiciously or whispered about them, not even when they met a few people and mentioned they were thinking of moving there. Even Ennis, with his habitual reserve in the company of others and still guarded, was starting to think that this could work, maybe they could live in peace here.

They drove through Denver quickly, not even stopping. It was larger and they probably would find more acceptance here, in a big bustling city where they could slip under the radar, but it just wasn't for them. They weren't city boys and were only considering Loveland because the ranches were on the outskirts where it was a bit more open, they wouldn't have to live in the city itself.

They wandered round Colorado Springs for a while out of curiosity, enjoying the mountain scenery that reminded them of Brokeback. They were fascinated by the Garden of the Gods, the formations in a riot of various colours and the greenery, striking a chord with them as cowboys. They found a small shop selling cameras and Jack got busy snapping away at everything, coaxing Ennis into having his picture taken and taking pictures of himself, grinning from ear to ear.

They ate a hearty meal in a steakhouse, enjoying the live band and succulent steak. Nobody bothered them, two guys eating together, and Ennis was feeling liberated. A few months ago he would never had believed he would end up here, that he would get to experience something like this. He kept looking over at Jack, whose face was lit up, eyes sparkling at him. He was the one who had done all this, who had brought him here and shown him how to live. Before he'd met Jack all he'd ever done was merely exist. Now he had Jack, he could start living.

* * *

><p>It was late in the evening by the time they could drag themselves away from the atmosphere and fun of Colorado Springs, the rodeo was only a few days away and they had to get moving. They were driving south towards Pueblo and to find a motel to stay in for the night, planning to cross the border in the morning. They hadn't drunk so much that they couldn't drive, they had been mindful of that, just enough to give them a buzz and, in Jack's case, make them horny. In the gathering darkness on the road, Ennis had had enough of Jack teasing him with kisses to his neck, so he'd stopped the truck on the road, turned to Jack and taken him right there, which left Jack very satisfied.<p>

To Ennis's misfortune, Jack had managed to dig out his harmonica, which was still flattened and started playing, not particularly well. Ennis looked at him now and again, a mixture of exasperation and affection on his face. He no longer cared too much about Jack's lack of skill, he loved it anyway because it was Jack playing, and there was nothing about Jack he didn't like.

He loved all of Jack's physical features of course, those amazing blue eyes, those succulent lips, the dimples...everything. But he also loved Jack's personality, always had. He hadn't known what to make of Jack at first, he'd never known anybody like him before. He'd been so different and Ennis had been intrigued by this rodeo cowboy who was so full of life.

Over that first month, where they had been becoming used to each other, Ennis couldn't help but look forward to Jack riding into camp, looked forward to seeing him again. He had been lonely in camp and simply wanted to be near his new friend.

Or at least, he'd figured that was it. But now, as he thought back to that first month, he started to realise that maybe it had been more. Jack had told him that he'd been attracted to him pretty much since he'd first laid eyes on him. Ennis couldn't say the same about Jack unfortunately. He had liked Jack immediately, liked having someone to talk to, someone he could connect with whereas he hadn't with Alma. In hindsight he could understand it, he'd never felt for Alma what he felt for Jack.

Then that first night in the tent...that had changed everything. He hadn't meant to get drunk that night, but he couldn't stop himself. He had been curious about what might happen if they both stayed in camp, something different might happen. He had already known about sex of course, but that hadn't really entered his mind in relation to Jack. But then, what had he been expecting if not that? He'd tried not to think about his attraction to Jack because he didn't think he was queer, had denied he was for fear of what would happen.

As they'd stared at each other for a few seconds after Jack had grabbed his hand, he'd felt a yearning. He'd wanted Jack and had taken him in the only way he'd known how to. If a man willingly had sex with another man, did that make him queer? If a man then kissed and held another man and fallen in love with that man, did that make him queer? If he then called off his wedding to start another life with that man, did _that _make him queer?

He'd done all three, so then...did that make him queer?

He'd asked himself something in the truck back in Signal, while debating with himself whether or not to take the plunge, while Jack had been buying cigarettes.

_So what if you're queer, would it be that bad?_ He'd asked himself. He'd shot back that it would be, thinking of tire irons and Earl and Rich and his fear of the same fate coming upon himself, or even worse, Jack. That fear was justified, after they'd been run out of Signal by those two guys and then Alma's father plotting to kill them. The fear was still there, probably always would be, but then...

He'd reasoned with himself that Jack could admit he was queer, and that despite the fact he too was probably scared, he didn't let it get in the way of what he truly wanted – a life with Ennis.

But Ennis had never considered himself queer. Jack was attracted to all guys, but had found the one he wanted. Fair enough. But the thing was, Ennis had never been attracted to another guy before or since Brokeback, had never even had thoughts. On the other hand, he'd never been attracted to Alma much, not like this. So was it just Jack? Was he straight except for Jack?

_Think about that for a minute. Let's say you're right, yer some sort of special queer who's only attracted to Jack. You really think anyone else is gonna take any notice? Aguirre didn't, K.E. didn't, John Twist didn't. All they saw is who you sleep with, what yer doin' with him. That's all anyone's ever gonna see. They won't care if you don't think of yourself as queer, they'll think you are, an' you'll take the hard knocks that go with it._

So maybe he was queer after all. He was in love with another man, his best friend, was planning to build a life with him. But it was a huge idea to comprehend, giving himself that identity. He would definitely have to think some more on this before he could talk to Jack about it. Jack probably thought of him as queer because of their relationship, but hadn't brought it up because he knew it would be difficult for him after what he'd seen. He was grateful to Jack for respecting his feelings, that he was letting him figure it out in his own time. He hoped he would figure it out soon. That would be the best gift he could give Jack, in return for everything he'd given Ennis.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author's notes**_

_Hi from the author! This chapter marks the halfway point of the story, and there are exactly 12 chapters to go after this, so I've decided to take this moment to say a few things._

_First of all, a massive thank you to everybody who is reading along and leaving feedback. This is the first time I've ever written fanfiction and I'm very flattered that people seem to be enjoying it, I enjoy reading the postive reviews that are being left, both on here and across the three Brokeback forums that I'm a member of. While we're on the subject, I'd like to thank all of my forum friends, they know who they are, for their support and in some cases, their help with certain ideas. I love you guys 3_

_Second, I can confirm that I WILL be writing a sequel for this story, that will take place some months after this one finishes. I aim to finish this story in late August start writing the sequel in early September. I'll put in some notes in the last chapter of this story confirming the date._

_Third, thanks again to everybody who is reading along and enjoying it, leaving feedback and/or adding it to their favourite stories, I am aware that some people have and I'm flattered. Hope you stick around for the second half and that you look forward to the sequel!_

_Thank you again._

_Kathryn xxx_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

Ennis quickly fumbled with the key in the lock, Jack nibbling and kissing at his neck, hands all over him. The door banged open against the wall and they staggered through, Jack slamming it shut behind them. They pulled at each others' jackets, ripping them off and throwing them to the floor as they kissed passionately, breathing heavily.

Neither of them was entirely sure where this had come from. Ennis had been perfectly fine while renting the room, but the next thing he knew Jack was all over him and they were eager to get inside and on that bed.

Ennis pulled Jack backwards towards the bed as they removed their shirts, never letting go of each others' lips. They could feel their erections through their pants, pressing into legs as they sank down onto the bed. They moved up to the head as they removed their pants, their sweaty, slippery bodies rubbing together, limbs twining and melding.

They finally broke their faces apart to breathe, panting. Jack's eyes were shining, full of lust and love. Ennis ducked his head and started sucking at his neck, his hands gripping Jack's hair as Jack ran his own hands down to Ennis's ass. He let out a quiet moan and pulled Ennis closer.

"Ennis..." he breathed. Ennis lifted his head and looked into Jack's eyes.

"What?"

Jack had a gleam in his eyes. "Flip me over."

Ennis looked surprised. "You what?"

Jack nodded. "Flip me over. I wanna do this the good old fashioned way."

Ennis drew back slightly. "You sure? I don't wanna hurt you none."

"S'alright. It ain't gonna hurt with the lube." He tilted his head. "Don't get me wrong. I love doin' it face to face, but...I wanna do it the other way tonight. I want it rough. I want ya to ride me like a buckin' bronco." He whispered fervently, kissing him. He trusted Ennis enough to know that he wouldn't deliberately hurt him, and that he would do anything to avoid hurting him by accident.

Ennis paused, and then nodded. "Okay." He flipped Jack over onto his knees where he began to shake with excitement. He retrieved the lube from his jacket and got back on the bed behind Jack. He slicked himself up and threw the tub onto the bed. He enveloped Jack in his arms, kissing the back of his neck. Jack moaned and trembled with desire.

"Ennis...please..."

Ennis finally gave him what he wanted, sliding inside with ease and then snaking his hands around to Jack's groin, taking hold of him. Jack lifted his own hands and gripped the headboard tightly in anticipation. Ennis moved in and out, taking one hand off Jack's erection and leaning forward so he too could hang onto the headboard. At least, he'd been intending to grab the headboard, yet when he'd flung his hand out it had made contact with Jack's, so their fingers linked together as the thrusting continued.

"Faster!" Jack choked out. Ennis obliged him with enthusiasm as they both gasped for air. His other hand was rubbing at Jack, hard fast strokes in rhythm with his thrusts. Jack gripped the headboard tighter as he struggled to stay on his knees, feeling Ennis's hand grip his tighter.

"Gun's goin' off!" he yelled, shooting right at the headboard as Ennis simultaneously exploded deep inside him. They both shuddered as their knuckles turned white, and then they collapsed onto their sides, Ennis still holding onto Jack.

They lay there, panting, seeing stars as their senses struggled to catch up to them. Ennis shuffled forward so he could spoon behind Jack, hugging him.

"Fuck." He breathed into Jack's ear. Jack pulled his hands up and kissed the palms, then the fingers, then linking them with his own.

"Yep, an' it was a good one, cowboy."

Ennis chuckled quietly and kissed Jack's ear. "How come you wanted it like that anyway? We ain't done it like that without standin' up since Brokeback. We've done it from behind standin' up, like in the shower, but...this is different. Right?" he asked, leaning up on his elbow so he could see Jack's face.

Jack turned himself onto his back so they could lock eyes. "Yeah it is...I dunno really, I just wanted to do it like that. The feelin' just came over me." He murmured, tracing Ennis's jawline. "Ya know...you got steel in yer backbone, Ennis. Yer real tough an' I love it."

"You do?" Ennis asked. He'd been described as tough, but had never figured that anybody would be attracted by it, but then again, Jack was a man. Men and women probably liked different things when it came to attraction.

Jack nodded. "Yep. When we met, you were real quiet an' shy, remember? I know I told myself I was gonna behave around ya, but I can't deny I was really into ya, I loved how tough an' manly you were. That streak is probably what caused that first night to happen the way it did, that you took charge. Turned me on like you wouldn't believe." He smiled. Ennis kissed him lightly, pleased that he'd made Jack happy that first night, despite the inevitable pain he must have caused him. He remembered his thoughts about letting Jack be in charge. Jack would know the pain, so he would probably try and help Ennis to be as relaxed as possible. He would definitely need Jack's lead when the moment came. It would probably turn out to be like their second night in the tent, with Jack holding him, kissing him, helping him to relax.

They broke apart and Jack looked thoughtful. "Ya should know...I saw that streak when we was in Lightnin' Flat, an' you stood up to my daddy. You was protectin' me, an' I'll never forget it. An' then...when you took charge that night an' got us safely outta there...you were so great, Ennis. I love you...so much." Ennis stroked his cheek, wiping the escaped tear away.

"I love you too darlin'."

* * *

><p>Some time the next day, they had crossed the border into Texas and were driving towards Childress, where the rodeo was to be held. They'd bought some fresh sandwiches from a gas station along the road and since Ennis was unable to eat and drive at the same time, Jack was breaking bits off sandwiches and popping them into Ennis's mouth, making sure to let his fingers linger there, just to tease him. Ennis loved it though.<p>

When both of them had had their fill, Jack yawned and lay down on the seat, head on Ennis's lap. He smiled up at Ennis, eyes twinkling, and Ennis stroked his hair as Jack fell asleep. Jack felt warm and happy.

He dreamed. He had dreams of what their new life would be like, wherever they decided to settle. He dreamt of a house and stables and land, their own property. He dreamt of stock and barn animals like cats and dogs, and the staff they would be hiring to help them. They'd have to make sure the hands were comfortable working for them of course; they would have to be honest from the start.

But mostly, he dreamt of Ennis. Right from that day in Signal, that felt so long ago, where he'd woken up thinking that it was all over, he'd fantasised about a home with Ennis. He'd had little choice but to push these hopes to one side, but then Ennis had surprised him by telling him how he felt and what he wanted. Now he could think about the future again, knowing that Ennis would be in it. No, Ennis _was _it. He dreamt of them waking up together every morning, working together all day and then going to bed together every night. Giving themselves to each other with enthusiasm and then holding each other tight. A simple life, some might say, but it would be everything they would ever need.

Jack slept with a smile on his face, which Ennis was pleased to see. His number one priority, as always, was to look after Jack and this included making sure he was happy. It tore him up inside whenever Jack was upset, especially if he'd caused it. It was the least he could do for Jack; make him happy after everything he had suffered through. He was putting Jack's happiness before his own, and he had to admit he felt good for doing it.

Jack's dreams shifted further into the future. He was now dreaming of a family. He knew perfectly well he and Ennis could never have children of their own, but maybe one day they would be allowed to adopt, or use a surrogate. That was always a possibility.

He was dreaming of something else now. _He and Ennis, standing side by side in front of a priest, their families and friends sat behind them. Strangely enough, they were wearing their normal cowboy gear instead of suits, but that suited them better. It was truer to who they were, a very important aspect. He heard himself say words that he longed to, looking deep into Ennis's eyes._

_I, Jack Twist, take thee Ennis Del Mar..._

_When his turn was done, he heard Ennis speak the words, and felt the tears in his eyes._

_I, Ennis Del Mar, take thee Jack Twist..._

_He looked at their joined hands as they swapped rings, gold bands cut into the shape of what looked like rope, then back up, grins on their faces. A few more words from the priest he couldn't make out, but then Ennis was leaning towards him and he realised what had been said. _

_The kiss was long and deep, lips pressing together tightly. They heard the congregation applauding and hugged each other. _

The truck drove over a bump in the road and Jack was shaken awake just as the wedding night came up, much to his displeasure. He looked around, blinking.

"Shit, sorry Jack. There was a bump..." Ennis said, looking at him apologetically. Jack shook his head and sat up on the seat, rubbing his eyes, which Ennis thought looked quite endearing.

"S'alright..." Jack yawned.

"What were ya dreamin' about? You sure looked real peaceful."

Jack cleared his throat. "Um...well I was...dreamin' 'bout us actually. What our place is gonna be like." He smiled at Ennis, who smiled back and took his hand.

"Yeah? Is it gonna be good?" he asked softly.

Jack kissed his cheek. "Real good, cowboy. I'm lookin' forward to it."

"I am too."

Jack hesitated. "An' then I...I got dreamin' about the future...I know we can't get married or have kids, but...I was dreamin' 'bout our weddin' day. Really somethin' it was." Ennis looked at him with a pained expression. "An' I...I know we can't have kids, but..."

"Come on Jack, we've been over this. It don't matter."

"Well I...I was thinkin'...if they ever let guys like us adopt maybe, or get a surrogate or somethin'..."

Ennis nodded. "I guess it's a possibility..." he took a deep breath. "Guys like us...ya mean queer guys?"

Jack looked at him in surprise. They'd never talked about that since the evening after their first night together. Jack knew he himself was gay; it didn't bother him and didn't seem to bother Ennis. But it annoyed him slightly that Ennis, despite his chosen lifestyle, hadn't yet admitted this truth about himself.

"Ennis...what are you..."

Ennis looked at him and bit his lip. "I dunno, Jack. I know I said I ain't, but...I believed it then. Now with everythin' that's gone on, I...I'm startin' to think..."

"That maybe you are?" Jack whispered, shuffling close to him. He knew this was difficult for Ennis, after what he'd seen as a child, and that he would have to work this out at his own pace.

"I dunno...maybe. I been thinkin' 'bout it...hell I dunno. I need to think on it some more. Can ya wait?" he asked, looking into Jack's eyes.

Jack smiled and snuggled close, wrapping his arms around Ennis's. "Take yer time. I'll still be here."

* * *

><p>They finally arrived in Childress late in the afternoon. The sun was beating down and the atmosphere was full of excitement due to the rodeo. It had already started of course, but it was calf roping today, which Ennis and Jack weren't interested in, but they made their way to the rodeo ground so Jack could register for the bull riding, and hopefully see if Becky was on the lists for barrel racing. Jack hoped she would be, he missed her and was looking forward to seeing her again.<p>

When they got to the rodeo ground Jack gave Ennis a small smile and walked over to where the registry was. Ennis stood waiting, shuffling his feet, looking around. This rodeo was so much bigger than the ones he'd been to in Wyoming, lots of people were here and the excitement was palpable. He was still uneasy in big crowds but nobody here would ever suspect the nature of his and Jack's relationship. For all anybody knew they were just two friends from Wyoming who were here for the rodeo. It was nobody's business but theirs.

He turned to see Jack motioning and waving him over. He had a big grin on his face.

"What's up?" Ennis asked when he reached him. Jack pointed to the lists tacked to the wall. There was one for today's calf roping, and several others for future events. The assistant was writing Jack's name and hometown on the bull riding list, and Jack was pointing at the barrel racing list. Ennis looked down the list and saw what Jack was pointing at.

_Becky Twist_

_19_

_Childress, Texas_

Ennis looked back at Jack, who was grinning from ear to ear. "She made it! She's a barrel racer! My Becky! Ain't that great?"

"Sure is," Ennis agreed. "Wonder if she's here?" he asked, looking around.

The assistant, who had heard their conversation, replied. "Becky Twist ain't here today. She come here about an hour ago to register, I asked if she was stickin' around, she said somethin' 'bout spendin' time with her family today. I'm guessin' yer a relative, Mr Twist?"

"I sure am, I'm her cousin from up in Wyomin'. That's where she's from." Jack replied eagerly. "I'm sure proud that she made it."

"Yep, this is her first rodeo. She seemed kinda nervous. You been here before?"

"Yep, this spring actually." Jack said proudly, flicking his belt. Ennis was irresistibly reminded of the day up on Brokeback when Jack had done the same in front of him. He'd been surprised when Jack had jumped up and started jumping around pretending to be riding a bull, but he'd loved how Jack could do things like that, make a fool of himself all so naturally without worrying about looking stupid. He'd probably done it for Ennis's entertainment, and it had worked.

That had been the first time that Ennis had felt totally at ease with someone, someone who could break down those barriers he'd set up around himself. Jack was probably the only person who had seen what he was really like. Somehow, he'd wormed his way into Ennis's heart, found a way in that nobody else had.

He thought back to his thoughts about letting Jack inside him, and he had a funny feeling it would happen here while they were in Texas. He didn't know how he knew, but he could sense that a few important things would happen here. Hopefully they would change them for the better.

"Hey," Jack said to him, shaking him from his thoughts. "You ready?"

"Huh? Oh...yeah. Where we goin'?"

"I was thinkin' maybe we could get a steak or somethin'. They serve real good steak here." His voice dropped a notch. "Then maybe we could find a motel an' have us some dessert." He whispered huskily, blue eyes full of lust.

A smirk appeared at the side of Ennis's mouth. "I like your thinkin'."

The steak restaurant was busy and loud, but not too boisterous. They settled into a booth and placed their orders. Since they had found a motel within walking distance, they parked the truck there and put all of their stuff in the room before heading out, which meant they could have a beer.

"Ain't bad," Jack mused, sipping his beer. "But I think I still prefer whiskey."

"Why? 'Cos it's better or 'cos it reminds you of Brokeback?" Ennis asked, smiling. Jack grinned. They both knew the reason.

Jack looked over at the door, and his face lit up. A similar grin was directed his way by the young woman who had just walked in. He motioned to her to come over. "Ennis, it's Becky!"

Ennis turned to see. She was a little shorter than Jack, with strawberry blonde hair flowing down her back under her pink cowgirl hat. She was wearing black pants and a black cowgirl shirt with pink embroidery in an intricate style. She looked like a typical western cowgirl. She had dimples like Jack, but had green eyes. "Well, well, Jack Twist."

Jack stood up and hugged her. "Becky, yer here! Long time no see!"

"God, Jack, it's been too long!" she replied, hugging him back tightly. "Been six months, boy! How are ya?" she looked at Ennis with interest. "Who's this?"

Jack grinned. "Becky, this is my best friend, Ennis Del Mar. Ennis, this is the lovely Becky Twist."

Ennis stood up and tipped his hat. "Pleasure, ma'am. Jack's told me a lot about you."

Becky shook his hand. "I ain't old enough fer ma'am." She said, her eyes twinkling. "But it's a pleasure to meet ya." She looked at her watch. "Damn, I gotta run, I got somethin' to do." She turned back to Jack. "Listen, I'm guessin' yer here fer bull ridin' right?"

Jack nodded. "Yep, we're gonna be here a couple days. We'll be watchin' ya tomorrow."

"Great! I really wanna catch up, Jack. Hear all the news. Will ya both meet me in the bar tomorrow? The one down the road from the grounds?"

Ennis and Jack nodded. "Sure. We'll see ya there." Becky nodded at them both and left.

"So, whaddaya think? Didn't I tell ya she was somethin'?" Jack grinned.

Ennis smiled back. "She sure is. Eat up, now, and then we can go get some dessert."

* * *

><p>A hearty meal and several beers later, they were leaving the restaurant and slowly walking back to the motel. Their arms were around each others' shoulders but they weren't conspicuous, Jack pointed out that lots of guys did this when they'd been out drinking with friends, holding each other up so they didn't fall down.<p>

Ennis loved getting drunk with Jack, it had always been fun. Jack was the only person he felt he could really open up to and be himself.

"Hey," he said, looking at Jack. "Can I ask ya somethin'?"

"Sure." replied Jack, who looked a little worse for wear.

"Well...the bull ridin'...I was thinkin'...you really gonna do it? It's real dangerous."

"I know. I'll be alright, I've done it before. I've gotta do somethin', we ain't got a lot of money."

"Yeah...'specially after Aguirre cut us a month's pay."

"I'm just pissed he was spyin' on us."

"Yeah..." suddenly Ennis stopped, forcing Jack to grab him for support.

"What?"

"I just thought...what if...what if that's why he brought us down early? He didn't want us workin' for him no more?" The injustice of it all bubbled as anger in his chest. "What if that was the real reason?"

Jack thought as best he could in this state. "Well...ain't nothin' we can do 'bout it now. Over an' done with." He tugged on Ennis's arm to get him moving and starting walking again.

Ennis didn't move. "So then he wouldn't have cut us a month's pay if there hadn't been nothin' to spy _on_."

Jack stopped and turned. "Huh?"

The horrible truth was running through Ennis's head. "If there hadn't been nothin' to spy on, we wouldn't have lost a month's pay."

"Ennis, if there hadn't been nothin' to spy on we wouldn't be here. Can we get goin'? I still want that dessert." He tried to smile, but it faltered at the look on Ennis's face.

"Jesus, Jack, is that all you think about? Sex?"

Jack whirled around. "Excuse me?"

"It's yer doin' we're here in the first place!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's yer fault Aguirre was spyin' on us. God, Jack, you ruined everythin'!"

"What?" They were now several feet apart, yelling and going red in the face.

"It's all yer fault this happened! All yer fault we ain't got no money! All yer fault I'm here, not knowin' what's gonna happen. At least with Alma I knew what was gonna happen!"

That cut Jack deep, after everything they'd been through. He could swear that he could feel his heart breaking. "Well ain't that somethin'? Cos I remember somebody tellin' me he didn't want that life, that he wanted a life with me! You done changed yer mind?"

Ennis sighed. "No I ain't. I still want a life with you..."

"Why? Cos ya love me or cos it's too late to go back to Alma?" Jack fumed. Somewhere at the back of his mind, he knew that the alcohol was causing them to snap at each other like this, but the argument was a legitimate one and he sure as hell wasn't going to back down.

"Cos I love you, you dumb bastard! I say it often enough don't I? I tell ya every damn day!"

"Right, I forgot what a chore it is to tell someone that! Or am I forgettin' it's cos I'm a man?" Jack yelled, blue eyes flashing with rage.

"Jack, I told you in the truck..."

"Yeah I heard ya, you said you was thinkin' 'bout it, that ya might be after all. Ennis, I know it's hard for ya after what yer daddy made you see an' I accept that," he said, pressing his hands into his chest. "I'm willin' to wait until you've figured it out. I don't matter anyway, as long as ya love me."

"I do, you know I do. It ain't been easy, you know. Been real hard, figurin' it out."

Jack's temper flared. "Yeah, cos I got no idea how it feels have I, figurin' you out, tryin' to know what's in yer head? After that day in Signal when you gave no sign at all what was gonna happen but ya jumped on me anyway? Yer a real basket case, Del Mar."

"Hey! I already apologised for that!"

Jack rubbed his tired eyes with his knuckles. "I know you did. An' I accept that. But don't ya see? We can't figure this stuff out! We gotta talk 'bout this stuff if this is gonna work, an' we can't go blamin' each other."

"But if you hadn't..."

"Lemme guess," Jack said sarcastically. "If I hadn't grabbed you that first night, we wouldn't have been spied on, an' none of this woulda happened right? Nothin' woulda happened between us, right? Thanks fer lettin' me know how ya feel." He turned and continued walking.

A lightbulb went on in Ennis's head. The answer suddenly became clear to him. "No, it would've."

Jack stopped in his tracks and turned, looking confused. "What?"

"It woulda happened. Maybe not that night, maybe not the night after, but it would've. You think you were the only one feelin' somethin'?"

"I dunno...I thought you might be, but...I thought I got it wrong."

"You didn't..." Ennis slowly walked towards Jack, and put his hands on his shoulders. "It woulda happened, Jack. I already really liked you...I just couldn't think of ya like that at first, you know? But I sure as hell liked you..." he trailed off.

"I thought you did...I hoped you did...but...I'm just scared that I need you more than you need me." He whispered, looking miserable.

"That ain't so, darlin'. You got no idea how much I need you." Ennis whispered, stroking Jack's cheek tenderly.

They looked into each others' eyes, searching for a reassurance that in terms of love and affection, they were equals. Their anger was waning and their energy had been sapped by the explosion. They wrapped their arms around each other, letting the rain soak their shoulders.

* * *

><p>Ennis frogmarched Jack into the room and sat him on the end of the bed, then closed the door. He turned and joined Jack, who was looking worn out and miserable. They felt that new ground had been broken between them, things they should have talked about before.<p>

Ennis sat next to Jack and took both of his hands in his own, running his thumbs over them. He looked up into Jack's beautiful eyes and they held each others' gaze for a few seconds.

Jack finally broke the silence. "Guess we shoulda seen this comin'."

"Yeah...we shoulda talked about this before. About money an' all that."

"I dunno what we were thinkin'...even if I win the bull ridin' an' get some money, ain't no way we can afford a ranch. We really shoulda talked through this before."

"Guess we got a little distracted over the last few weeks." Ennis said, a smile hitching up on the side of his mouth. Jack gave a nervous laugh at the understatement.

"You got that right. Fallin' in love, tryin' to sort ourselves out, workin' out what to do, runnin' from guys with-" he broke off, shaking his head. They didn't feel like talking about that just now.

Ennis released Jack's hands and held their foreheads together, and they felt their tension melting away. "I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry fer sayin' you ruined everythin'."

"You were right." Jack whispered, meeting his eyes. "I did ruin everythin'. I didn't know you was feelin' the same."

"I was...it don't matter if you ruined everythin'. I'm glad you did, cos I ain't never been this happy, Jack. I swear." Ennis whispered, stroking Jack's cheek.

"Me neither." Jack choked out, his lip trembling. Ennis pulled him into his arms and rocked them both back and forth.

"S'okay...shh..."

Jack got his ragged breathing under control and pulled back. He managed to smile as he said "So...it really woulda happened? Even if I hadn't grabbed ya?"

Ennis nodded. "I reckon so...you liked me an' I liked you. We're nineteen an' we was horny so...ain't no way we coulda kept that bottled up all summer. Had to spill out."

Jack considered this. At the start of the summer, he'd promised himself that he would behave and keep their relationship platonic. But with Ennis confessing that he'd wanted it just as much, maybe he'd never had a chance of resisting anyway. Maybe it had been meant to be from the start.

"So...ya liked me, huh?" he teased, grinning and twining Ennis's fingers with his own.

Ennis smiled fully, that wide grin that showed his dimples. "I sure did. Know what I love 'bout you, Jack Twist?"

"Hmm...my irresistible charm? My wit?" Jack replied.

Ennis shook his head in amusement. "Well, yeah, but that ain't what I was goin' fer." He shuffled closer to Jack. "Fer a start, I love these fingers an' hands," he said, kissing them. "An' I love these strong arms, I love it when ya hold me, Jack." He continued, rubbing his hands over them, looking at Jack who was grinning from ear to ear at this attention.

"You know somethin' else? I love this here mole..." Ennis murmured, kissing the mole in question above Jack's lip. Jack caught his lips with his own as he moved away. They kissed gently and slowly for a few seconds, tongues just meeting.

Ennis pulled away to breathe. "Somethin' else I love." He admitted. "But ya know what else I love? Yer eyes. They're gorgeous. Always liked 'em. An' those dimples..." he trailed off, running his hands over them.

Jack grinned. "I aim to please."

Ennis's expression turned serious. "You know what I love 'bout ya most? This." He whispered, placing his left hand to Jack's chest, over his heart, feeling it beat. "You've got a good heart Jack. Yer the best guy I've ever known. The best friend an' lover anyone could ask fer." He finished.

Jack kissed him. "My go..." he indicated to Ennis not to remove his hand. "I love all the things 'bout you that you said 'bout me. Yer fingers, yer hands, yer arms." He said, kissing each part in question as Ennis had. "An' yer eyes...did ya know ya got a little green in 'em?" Ennis shook his head. Nobody had ever told him that before. "Well ya have. I can't see it all the time, only really when we're out in the sun, but it's there an' I kinda like it. An' I know you love my dimples but you got some pretty good ones too ya know. I love it whenever I see 'em."

Ennis smiled shyly. "Really?"

"Uh-huh. Always love to see ya smile. Remember when you were laughin' at me when I was pretendin' to rodeo that day in camp?" They both chuckled quietly, reminiscing that day as they'd started to bond.

Jack brought his right hand to Ennis's cheek, then his left to Ennis's own heart, so their arms crossed each other. They looked into each others' eyes, feeling their hearts beat in unison.

"Ennis...yer the bravest, kindest guy I ever met. At the risk of soundin' sappy, you've been like a knight in shinin' armor. You've looked after me real good. You were there when I needed ya, an' I swear I'll never forget it." Ennis nodded.

"An' as fer what we was talkin' 'bout earlier...we'll be okay. We'll get jobs on another ranch or somethin' if we hafta. We'll be fine, okay?"

"Okay." Ennis agreed.

"Remember what we said back in Signal? We're gonna stick together no matter what. Ain't that like...the whole principle behind this? We gotta stick by that, an' if we do we'll be fine. Ya with me?"

"I sure am, Jack. Yer right...we're gonna make it work." They smiled at each other, the vow they had just made passing between them. "So...we was sayin' somethin' about dessert earlier?" he smirked.

Jack grinned and shot up. "Care to join me in the shower, cowboy?" he asked with a seductive look, slowly backing towards the bathroom, barely making it before he was grabbed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The day of the barrel racing had dawned bright and sunny, and Ennis and Jack were eating a quick breakfast in the diner before heading to the grounds. They'd bumped into Becky again on their way in, whose nerves at her first real rodeo attempt showed clearly on her face. Jack had given her a hug and they'd both wished her good luck, promising to meet up with her afterwards.

Ennis liked Becky. True, he hadn't seen much of her up to now, she'd been running around preparing herself for the barrel racing, she was like a whirlwind. But he liked what he'd seen of her so far. Between what Jack had told him about her and what he'd seen, he had the impression that, while quite feisty, she had a good heart. Jack had said that she'd been his only friend before he'd met Ennis and that for about ten or eleven years after she'd left, he'd had nobody. He must have been incredibly lonely.

_He ain't gonna be lonely no more,_ Ennis thought to himself. _Never again_.

His mind had wandered back to his thoughts about the possibility of him being queer. He needed to work it out. He knew he was attracted to Jack. That was obvious. So then the question was: what about girls, and what about other guys? If he wasn't attracted to girls, that might mean he was queer, but other guys...he'd never been attracted to another guy before Jack, and couldn't envision himself being attracted to other guys now. It would feel wrong, like if he looked at other guys he'd be cheating on Jack or something. It would make him feel awful.

But...would it be okay for him to at least look at girls and other guys, just to see? Just to gauge his reaction? To see if he did or didn't feel anything? It would be alright as long as he didn't touch, right? And if he found he liked looking at other guys, it was just enjoying the scenery right? He had the man he wanted, wouldn't dream of going after someone else. But he had to figure this out.

So the first logical step to take was to try and see if he could be attracted to girls. As horrible as it sounded, he'd never been attracted to Alma, not like he should have been, but he'd been so naive then. Things had changed, he had changed. It now required serious thought. And it occurred to him that maybe Becky would be able to help him, without her or Jack being any the wiser, at least not yet. Once he'd figured it out, whatever it turned out to be, he would be completely honest with Jack. He would have to stress why he'd done it, and hoped that Jack would understand.

The two of them made their way to the rodeo grounds, catching Becky's eye as they went up to the stands. She was just outside the arena on her horse and tried to smile, clearly nervous.

The two of them settled about halfway up the stand, munching and looking around with interest, taking care not to sit too close together. The food was good; they'd taken a liking to the buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks. Jack kept licking his fingers of the sauce which Ennis tried not to stare at. It was bad enough that they'd seen something called Cowboy Kisses on the menu, making them blush. The air was thick with excitement and the sun was climbing high in the sky.

They could hear the commentators talking into their microphones in the top box, announcing the barrel racing. A klaxon sounded and a rider shot into the arena at full speed. She was a brunette, dressed in red and cream with a red hat, leaning low over her horse's flanks, a gleaming chestnut. They could see her egging it on as she weaved between the barrels, clearly very skilled at this. She couldn't have been any older than themselves or Becky.

After completing the course she shot back out of the arena to tumultuous applause and high praise from the commentators.

"Ladies and gentleman, that was Lureen Newsome from right here in Childress, Texas! Give her a big hand! She finished second last year; I think she may have the edge this year!"

"She was good." Jack commented to Ennis as they clapped, and Ennis nodded in agreement. He found himself worrying again about Jack competing in the bull riding. That would be so much more dangerous.

"And now folks, here's another Childress gal waitin' to take names an' break hearts! This is her first time here at the rodeo, let's make her feel welcome! From Lightnin' Flat, Wyomin', now based right here in Childress, Texas, it's Miss Becky Twist!"

Jack grinned at Ennis and sat up, looking eagerly at the entrance to the stand. Becky shot into the arena like a dart, a riot of black and pink. Her green eyes were alive with concentration, completely focused on her target. Ennis and Jack watched in awe as she weaved between the barrels in the cloverleaf pattern. Her steed hugged close to the barrels, turning sharply to try and shave precious seconds off her time. Jack was full of pride as he watched her and Ennis was thoroughly impressed; he looked across at Jack, seeing his happiness in his blue eyes.

Becky completed the course with ease and Jack and Ennis both stood up with the crowd, clapping and whistling. She galloped out of the arena so fast her hat flew off, where it was picked up by a cowboy who was milling around outside.

"C'mon, let's go." Jack nudged Ennis. They made their way down the stands and out of the arena, where Becky had just dismounted her horse and handed it over to the handlers.

"Becky!" Jack called as they approached.

She turned and grinned. "Jack! Ennis! I did it!" She ran forward and somehow managed to catch both of them in a tight hug. They hugged her back, Ennis feeling happy to be included in this family moment. He had a feeling they could trust her with their secret.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, Becky had finished in second place behind Lureen Newsome, eighteen seconds to Lureen's sixteen. She was happy and very proud of herself for her first attempt, earning herself a rodeo buckle and $400, which she promised to buy Ennis and Jack drinks with later that evening.<p>

A number of hours later, Ennis and Jack were sat at the bar waiting for her, talking about the day and enjoying the music and atmosphere. Ennis was getting better at being relaxed in social situations like this, probably because Jack was there and his presence calmed him.

Becky slipped onto the stool next to Jack. "Hey guys!" she said brightly.

"Hey!" greeted Jack, giving her a one-armed hug. Ennis smiled and nodded. She ordered herself a drink and folded her arms on the bar top, yawning.

"You did real well today you know." Ennis said, earning himself a smile from both Twists. "Second place, an' it was yer first time."

"Yeah, I guess that trainin' paid off huh?" she replied as she was handed her drink. After a few seconds, she spoke up again. "So...how do you two know each other?"

Ennis and Jack looked at each other, bracing themselves. "Well...remember how in the spring when I was here, I told ya about that sheep-herdin' job I did last summer?"

"Yeah...Brokeback Mountain or somethin' wasn't it?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah. Anyway, this summer, I was up there again, an' that's how I met Ennis. He was workin' with me."

"Huh...so you was work buddies...you musta hit it off if you brought him down here. Guess yer close huh?"

Jack glanced at Ennis. "Yeah...thing is Becky, we...uh...me an' Ennis, we..." he looked into her eyes, silently reminding her of what had happened the last time he'd been here in Texas, and what it meant. She understood immediately.

"You guys are...together?" she whispered, mindful to keep her voice low.

"Yeah we are." Ennis said softly. "Have been since...well...we've been...um..." he looked helplessly at Jack, not at all knowing how to describe their relationship up on Brokeback, when they'd been sleeping together but not properly together.

Jack covered for him. "We started the job in May, became friends an' then about a month later we...ya know..." he said, giving her a meaningful look.

"Oh! Right." She replied, blushing slightly. "So you've been together since June?"

"Not quite...we were sleepin' together but...Ennis was engaged an' with people thinkin' what they do 'bout guys like us, we weren't really together. We were, uh...lovers from June to about the middle of August, an' then we was told to bring the sheep down."

"So how...?" she asked, waving a hand between them.

The pair of them looked at each other, and Becky could see a flash of regret and apology in their glance. "I wasn't ready to leave." Ennis mumbled. "I was torn up real bad. I'd fallen in love with a guy an'...everythin' was fallin' apart. Jack tried to cheer me up, but I...I punched him." Jack wished he could put a hand on Ennis's shoulder, tell him it was alright, but they had to be careful here.

"We was sayin' goodbye by his truck back in Signal...an' neither of us could come with a way, a solution, so I just...walked away. Got near an alleyway an' started pukin' my guts out. Felt real bad. Didn't wanna see him leave."

Jack cleared his throat. "So then, I...I saw him in the mirror goin' into the alleyway an' went straight back to see if he was okay. Ain't left him since." He said with a smile.

"Wow...that can't have been easy for you...good job you saw him, Jack."

"Yeah."

Becky took a sip of her drink. "So then...if that was the middle of August, what have you been up to for about a month?"

They told her everything. That tense day in Signal when Jack was driven mad by the mixed signals from Ennis, resulting in another night of passion. Ennis relayed his inner conflict the day after and how it resulted in him confessing to Jack how he felt. They spoke about the two guys who had been sniffing around town. With a look at Becky, Jack spoke about the 'Joel Smith' thing and how it caused problems, and how they had fixed it. They told her about K.E. and Aguirre, before telling her about finally being run out of Signal by the two guys.

They told her about Ennis calling off his wedding, knowing it was the right thing to do, then about their time in Casper with Cecilia, before travelling to Lightning Flat. Becky had already known about the abuse Jack had suffered, she'd comforted him many times while they'd grown up together. They told her about their work on the ranch, and how they were again forced to leave to save themselves.

They finished with their plans to move, possibly to Colorado, which had resulted in them finding out about the rodeo.

"...so then we came down here to try an' get some money an' that's when we saw yer a barrel racer." Jack finished.

Becky was at a loss for words. They certainly hadn't chosen the easy path, but then again, they'd chosen the path that would make them happy, they'd followed their hearts. She was very impressed by their determination to make it work and stick together no matter what, despite what most of society dictated about such relationships.

She was scared for them. Scared that something would happen, it was almost inevitable. They seemed capable of looking after themselves and each other, so they might be alright. It wasn't really her business anyway was it?

Or maybe it was. They'd just told her everything about their blossoming relationship, good and bad. They wanted to include her and they trusted her. The very least she could do for them was watch their backs while they were here. She knew Childress; she knew the types of people who liked to cause trouble. She could keep an eye on things for them. Keep her ears peeled for any threats that might arise. She had a horrible feeling something bad was about to happen.

* * *

><p>The three of them were having a great time, Becky was telling them about her life in Childress and she and Jack reminisced about their childhood. Ennis liked hearing about what Jack had been like when he was younger, and from what he was hearing it sounded like he hadn't changed much. He'd always been friendly and full of life, quite an achievement considering the environment he'd grown up in. Becky warned them to keep away from her father, Jack's uncle, for he was just like his brother by all accounts. Ennis had wondered how Jack could have turned out such a good person with a father like his, but now he was also wondering the same about Becky. There was a striking similarity between them, behaviourally if not physically.<p>

The band started up a new song and Becky's face lit up. "Hey! I love this one! C'mon, who wants to dance with me?" she asked, looking at them mischievously.

Ennis and Jack looked at each other with amusement. Neither of them were particularly good at dancing, but they owed her since she'd agreed to keep her silence about their relationship. They could give her one dance.

"Alright, I'll go." Ennis sighed with a small smile. "But I warn ya, I ain't much good."

"It's alright." Becky replied as she got up. "S'all good fun."

They went out onto the dancefloor and Ennis took Becky's hands, spinning her around and then in close to him. He figured that now would be a good time to put his plan into action, his idea to see if he could be attracted to a woman. He hoped he wouldn't be attracted to her, with her being Jack's cousin, that would be playing with fire.

She was smiling widely as they danced, and Ennis looked at her. She was attractive, he could acknowledge that. And that was fine. But...while he could appreciate her beauty, he didn't feel anything. He looked around; there were a number of girls on the floor, and it was the same story. They were attractive, but he just wasn't interested. But then he looked up and across to Jack at the bar, and he was clearly happy to see them getting along. His heart lifted when Jack grinned at him.

_That's stage one, I guess, _he thought to himself. _I just ain't attracted to girls._ He was halfway there. But it was the second half – other guys – that made him apprehensive. Fear of the unknown.

Becky turned to see what he was looking at, and smiled. "He really means a lot to you don't he?" she asked.

Ennis nodded. "Yeah, he does. A real lot. I'm sure glad yer okay with it. I think it means a lot to him."

Becky looked thoughtful. "I can't say I'm surprised 'bout him bein' gay...I always saw somethin' in his eyes when I caught him eyeballin' a few guys at school. An' I was his best friend growin' up, an' I don't think it was cos I'm his cousin."

"You think...you think queer guys tend to get on with women better?" Ennis asked.

"Well...I did hear that was true...he looked at guys but he didn't really have any guy friends. Yer the first one I've ever known about."

"Huh...well we was real good friends by the time we...ya know."

She looked at him. "Ennis...the Joel Smith thing..."

"It don't matter. It's all in the past."

She nodded. "Sure is. Ennis...look after him for me will ya? I know he seems like he can handle himself but...he can be real vulnerable."

"I know."

After the dance, Becky and Ennis returned to the bar, where it was now Jack's turn. He feigned a long-suffering sigh and complied, going to the dancefloor with her for a slower number. He held her to his chest, where they danced in comfortable silence. But it didn't last long.

"You didn't tell him did you?" she asked, looking at him knowingly.

Jack looked a little shamefaced. "No I didn't. An' I can't. He blew up at me over the Joel Smith thing, an' we only managed to fix it cos I came back at him over him messin' me around. He finds out about this...I ain't got no comeback."

"At least you didn't sleep with that guy, like you did with Joel. It ain't as bad is it?"

"I thought about that...I don't think it is but...we're doin' so well...we're gettin' stronger all the time, an' I don't want to do anythin' to screw it up. I can't lose him, Becky. Not now. I need him." Jack's eyes were fearful.

"Hey it's okay...I'm sure you ain't gonna lose him." She replied softly, squeezing his shoulder.

"He...he gave up everythin' he knew when he picked me. He's havin' to adjust to somethin' completely different to what he expected outta life an'...this is gonna send him over the edge, I just know it. It ain't gonna go down well at all. He's tryin' real hard...an' if he hears the stuff I've been up to...he's gonna think it ain't a big deal to me like it is to him. He's got no idea...no idea how hard it's been for me since last summer. You remember doncha, what I was like this spring? I was a real mess an' I know it wasn't over Joel. You remember what I said right?"

"I do." She sighed. "Did ya find what you was lookin' for?"

Jack smiled, then looked up at Ennis, who was heading towards the bathroom. "I sure did."

"An' to think...you didn't even know what you was lookin' for. Not till you found it huh?"

"Yeah...wasn't till it happened that I knew. You know right? You can see what I was lookin' for?"

Becky smiled. "I sure can. Guess you just hadta wait until it came to you." Her expression turned serious. "Jack...you gotta tell him. The longer you put it off, the worse it's gonna be when he finds out. You gotta be honest. Tell him what you just told me, an' you'll be fine."

Jack sighed. "I sure hope so."

* * *

><p>Ennis was in the cubicle, not taking any notice when he heard two other guys walking into the bathroom. But like that day in Signal when he'd heard two other guys in the gas station talking about Jack, he froze as their conversation progressed.<p>

"You seen who's here?"

"Who?"

"That pissant bull rider Jack Twist." Ennis's heart started beating fast.

"You gotta be kiddin' me. The one who was here in the spring?" his companion replied in disbelief.

"Yep."

"The one who..."

"You got it." The first speaker replied venomously.

"Jesus. Jimbo ain't here is he? Better warn him if he is."

"Nah, Jimbo's been ill, he ain't here."

"That's somethin'. At least Twist ain't gonna try it on again like he did before." Ennis felt his stomach do a backflip. _Not another one, _he thought in despair. He'd figured that Joel Smith and himself were the only guys Jack had shown an interest in, he'd never mentioned this. Ennis had had no reason to suspect that there might be more, Jack had given him no reason to suspect.

"Can't believe he's got the guts to show up again. It ain't as if Jimbo never told no-one. For God's sake, Twist followed him in here one night an' tried to kiss him! Claimed he'd been sendin' him signals all night. Seems to him that if a guy's nice to ya it means he wants to fuck. What the hell's his problem?"

"Fuck if I know. Hate queers, they need shootin'. Jimbo ain't here, but you can bet that if Twist sees someone he likes the look of, he'll go for it. Even if he's got a queer boyfriend he'll probably still go for it. Don't matter to him I s'pose. Just wants sex."

Ennis's heart was pounding in his chest; he could feel his world crashing down around him. After all they'd been through...

The two men left and he stood there, shaking, unable to move. His world had turned upside down up on Brokeback, and it had been extremely difficult for him to adjust to this change in their relationship; his memories of seeing Earl's mutilated body were always there in the back of his mind. He'd given up everything for Jack, his potential family with Alma, whatever job he might have settled into, a home. A normal life with no complications. He'd given it all up so he could be with Jack.

He didn't regret it. Both he and Jack knew that he was glad he had, because they were happy together. But he couldn't deny that it had been a hard decision to make. Jack had sworn to him that he wouldn't leave him, but he knew all too well that there were other ways in which he could lose Jack. That was what had frightened him most when trying to make a decision; the prospect of Jack being killed. It still scared him, always would. But he was trying his best to push the fear aside and embrace his and Jack's relationship. He was even trying to figure out himself, and whether or not he was queer. He was putting a lot of effort into this change in his life. But Jack...

He finally left the cubicle and looked at himself in the mirror. Here he was, making this effort and commitment to their relationship, casting away everything he knew for Jack despite his fears and...it was a huge deal to him, being with another man. But hearing about what Jack had been up to before they'd met...it was as if he didn't care, like it wasn't a big deal to him.

It probably wasn't a big deal to Jack. They both knew he was queer, so it shouldn't shock him that Jack had been with other guys or had propositioned other guys. He didn't know why he was reacting this way.

But then again, he did. Jack hadn't told him. They'd been completely honest with each other up until now when certain issues arose, save for this. Jack had had plenty of opportunities to tell him, but hadn't. All this effort from him, Ennis, and Jack had kept this from him.

In a sense, he could understand it. It wasn't as bad as the Joel Smith thing; at least he hadn't slept with this Jimbo guy. He'd either figured there was no point telling Ennis, because nothing had actually happened, or he'd been to scared to for fear of his reaction. It kind of made sense either way, but he was still hurt that Jack hadn't told him.

A horrible thought came to mind. Jack had worked with Joel up on Brokeback the previous summer, and a few weeks later made a successful pass at him. Only one night, but still. Then this spring he'd tried it on with this Jimbo. Then this summer he'd tried it with Ennis and had not only succeeded, but had got him to fall in love with him and give up his life for him!

The two men in Signal had suspected that Jack's behaviour was a regular thing, that he was always looking for a fling. Ennis realised with a twinge in his heart that he'd accused Jack of using him as a summer 'fuckbuddy'. Now he was scared that maybe he hadn't been that far off the mark after all. What if Jack _was _always on the lookout for 'fresh meat'? It just couldn't be true, because if it was, that meant that he, Ennis, had some kind of shelf life. Surely Jack wouldn't do that to him?

What if it was true? What if Jack grew bored with him, and traded him in for someone else? He'd told Jack he needed time to figure himself out, but what if Jack grew tired of waiting and found someone who could commit to him fully? He would be left with nothing if Jack left him.

It just couldn't be true. Jack was everything to him, and once again, their relationship was threatening to fall apart.

* * *

><p>Ennis made it out of the bathroom, legs feeling like lead and his head spinning. Jack and Becky had returned to the bar and were laughing about something. Becky looked over when she saw Ennis approaching, and at the look on his face her grin immediately disappeared. Jack saw this and turned. Ennis's face looked stony, but there was hurt in his eyes.<p>

"Uh...Ennis? You okay?" Jack asked warily. He had a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Ennis looked directly at Jack for a few seconds. "Who's Jimbo?" he whispered.

Jack and Becky looked at each other in alarm. _Oh God, he knows. How the hell...?_

"Uh...how do you...?"

"Heard two guys in the bathroom talkin' 'bout ya. Heard what you did. All of it." Ennis felt tears in his eyes and blinked them away furiously.

Jack's expression turned sorrowful, and he felt ashamed of himself for not saying anything sooner. He couldn't speak. Becky remained silent, knowing they would have to work through this by themselves.

"Why didn't you tell me, Jack?" Ennis's voice was devoid of emotion, yet his eyes were full of it.

"I...I dunno. After the Joel Smith thing, I...I didn't know if I should. I'm so sorry Ennis." Jack said, standing up to face him. He tried to place his hands on Ennis's shoulders but they were shoved off forcefully.

"Keep yer hands to yourself for a change, Twist." Ennis spat. He turned and headed for the door. Jack looked at Becky in alarm, and the pair of them quickly followed him out.

Ennis was taking quick strides down the road, heading back to the motel, not looking back.

"Ennis, wait!" Jack called after him. "Let me explain!"

"I don't wanna hear it Jack!" he shot back.

"I was drunk! I thought he was sendin' me signals left right an' centre! An' I-"

Ennis felt anger coursing through him. He spun around. "You was drunk huh? Well don't that sound familiar? Last summer, you get drunk an' sleep with that Joel. This spring you get drunk an' make a pass at someone in a bathroom. This summer you get drunk an' not only sleep with me, but ya get me to give up everythin' I had goin' for me! You an' alcohol don't mix!"

"Ennis yer gettin' this all wrong! Please hear me out!"

"Don't waste yer breath! Go an' use it on someone in the bar or somethin'. Go have some fun with a stranger, it's all ya want."

"What?"

Ennis couldn't bring himself to admit what was really troubling him, the horrible possibility that Jack saw their relationship as a fling that had a time limit. He knew deep down this wasn't necessarily true, but the alcohol was causing him to have these irrational thoughts and causing him to overreact.

Jack was trying to tell him the truth about his motives for behaving the way he had over the last year, and would gladly tell him if only Ennis gave him a chance. Now it seemed like their relationship was breaking beyond repair and Ennis was slipping away from him. That couldn't happen, he just couldn't lose Ennis. It felt like he was, and he had nobody to blame but himself.

"Ennis, what're you sayin'? I don;t wanna have no fun with a stranger, I'd never cheat on ya!"

"Well how about we break up right now, an' then ya can?"

Jack's blood ran cold and his heart pounded. He'd dreaded those words ever since they'd got together, and while the fear that it would happen had evaporated over time, he was still ever mindful of the possibility. Every time they argued he'd quickly tried to fix it before it went down that road. It just couldn't go down that road.

"Ennis...I don't wanna break up, an' I don't want no-one else! I love you!"

"I love you too but that don't seem to matter to ya! Maybe I shoulda been clearer when I said let's get together. I meant it would just be you an' me. No-one on the side!"

"I knew that! I ain't got no-one on the side an' I don't want no-one on the side! I only want you! Please listen to me, there's somethin' you gotta know."

"No, I don't wanna hear it!" Ennis cut him off, throwing up his hands and walking backwards, away from Jack.

"Last night you said we gotta talk 'bout stuff if you an' me is gonna work. You've had plenty of time to tell me about this but ya didn't. How do ya think that makes me feel? An' if we can't talk 'bout this stuff...if ya can't be honest with me then..." he paused, feeling his heart breaking. "Then maybe we call the whole thing off."

Jack's heart was pounding faster than ever, and tears were trickling down his cheeks. Behind him, Becky hadn't uttered a word, not wanting to intrude. She wished Ennis would give Jack a chance to explain, knowing that what he had to say might be able to save their relationship. She was devastated to see a love as strong as theirs break down like this.

"Ennis...please listen to him..." she said.

Ennis looked at her, trying to remain calm in spite of this carnage. "I...I'm sorry Becky. I really don't wanna hear him try an' make excuses."

Tears were flowing freely down Jack's cheeks. "Ennis...please..." he pleaded. "Please don't leave me..." Ennis shook his head and turned again, continuing to walk back to the motel.

"Ennis!" Jack yelled to no avail. He sank to his knees sobbing, hands over his mouth. He felt like his life was over, it would be if Ennis left him. What would he have to live for? He would have nothing left.

Becky crouched down beside him, hands on his shoulders. "Shh..." she whispered, squeezing his shoulders. "Calm down..."

"I can't lose him Becky, I just can't." He choked out.

"You ain't gonna."

He looked at her through bloodshot eyes. "How do ya know? He won't listen to me!"

"You tellin' me yer gonna give up on the best thing that ever happened to ya?" she asked, fixing him with a stern look. "Jack...you gotta fight for him. There's gotta be some way of showin' him what he means to ya."

Jack thought desperately for a way to do that, a way to convince Ennis of how much he loved him. But as he thought of their history, it seemed to him that he hadn't had much luck with that before.

Like up on Brokeback, when they'd been told to bring the sheep down early. Ennis had been distressed, and when he'd tried to cheer him up he'd accidentally hurt Ennis and received a punch, got blood all over their shirts...

A light clicked on his head. _There's only one thing for it. I hadn't planned on this but...it's the only way._ He raised his head and stared into the darkness that Ennis had disappeared into, determination in his eyes. Desperate times called for desperate measures.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Jack hurried to the motel room and opened the door to find Ennis gathering his things and packing his bag. Jack's heart leapt into his throat but Ennis ignored him. No way was Jack going to let him go without a fight.

"You think I don't care?"

Ennis looked up. "What?"

Jack held his gaze. "You think that this whole thing ain't a big deal to me like it is to you?"

"That's the impression I got tonight." He answered, turning back to his bag.

Jack scoffed. "I can't believe after everythin' we've been through that you would think that! You got no faith in me at all?"

"I did, but now I ain't so sure." Ennis muttered. He avoided Jack's eyes, but Jack could see something in them, something besides anger. It looked like fear.

"What's yer problem Ennis? Is it cos I didn't tell ya? That ya hadta hear it from someone else?"

"No..." Ennis paused, looking distressed.

"Is it cos you weren't my first like I was yers? Is that what this is about?"

"No! I..."

"Is it cos I have an easier time of admittin' I'm queer? It ain't yer fault if ya can't get yer head around it!"

"That ain't it, I..."

Jack could see the fear for definite now. He needed to know what Ennis was so afraid of, and tried desperately to think of what it might be.

"Look Ennis, tell me what's botherin' ya. I can see it in yer eyes. Somethin's up an' I wanna know what. If ya love me, an' wanna save what we've got, we gotta talk."

Ennis's shoulders slumped and he stood there, head in his hands. He wanted to tell Jack his fear of losing him, and he wanted to save their relationship, but he didn't know how to.

"Ennis...please tell me what's up." Jack pleaded. "If it ain't any of the things I just said, then what...?"

"I..."

"Spit it out already!" Jack's temper and impatience got the better of him.

"I can't lose you!" Ennis cried out in despair.

Jack blinked. Ennis was scared of losing him? He'd already known that of course, but he couldn't figure out how that connected to the night's events. "What...what're you sayin'?"

Ennis took a few deep breaths and turned. His eyes were wide and scared, red from crying.

"I'm scared...I don't wanna lose ya..." he whispered. Jack moved towards him and put his hands on Ennis's shoulders. He lifted Ennis's chin with a finger, made him meet his eyes. His bright blue eyes searched Ennis's face, saddened to see him like this. He leaned in and kissed Ennis gently, feeling Ennis's arms go around his back.

"Ennis...tell me what's wrong." He murmured, stroking Ennis's cheek. "Please."

"It's...it's just...those guys in Signal that were talkin' 'bout ya...an' then those guys tonight...they made it sound like...it don't matter to you."

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Well...you slept with that Joel...an' you made a pass at that other guy...makes it look like...it ain't a big deal to you, bein' queer. I'm tryin' to figure it out if I am...it ain't easy but I'm tryin', an' then hearin' 'bout all this stuff..."

"So yer thinkin'...I don't care? Is that it?" Ennis nodded.

Jack thought. If Ennis thought that, he had a lot of explaining to do. "So...what does that hafta do with you bein' scared of losin' me?"

Ennis met his eyes. "What if I take too long to figure it out, an' you get bored? Or what if..." his lip trembled. "What if...all you want is a fling? Those other guys didn't matter to ya, so what if..."

"Oh my God, Ennis! Is that what ya think? Ya think that bein' queer ain't a big deal to me, so neither is what we got? You think I'm gonna leave ya?" Jack felt his heart sink.

Ennis squeezed his eyes shut in shame. Jack sighed and hugged him tightly, relieved to finally learn the truth about Ennis's fears. Everything made sense now.

"Shh...it's alright...it's alright..."

"I'm sorry I yelled at ya...sorry for everythin' I said..."

"It's okay. You had every right. I shoulda told you sooner...I would've if I'd known..."

They broke apart, Ennis's sobbing had stopped and he took deep breaths. Jack bit his lip, hesitating, then took Ennis's hand and sat him on the edge of the bed.

"You wanna know how much you mean to me?" Jack murmured, hands on Ennis's face. Ennis nodded, breathing deeply. Jack straightened up and went to his bag in the corner. He'd tried to prepare himself for this, and knew that now was the right moment. He took out his bundled denim shirt, hiding what was inside it. He sat next to Ennis and handed it to him.

Ennis looked confused. "What...?"

Jack nodded. "There's somethin' in there that belongs to you...open it up." Ennis did so and as he revealed what was inside the denim shirt, he let out an audible gasp.

His plaid shirt, the one he thought he'd lost up on Brokeback. With the bloodstains from that day. Jack had kept it all this time. He was lost for words.

"What..." he looked up at Jack. "Why did you..."

Jack sighed. "After the fight...I thought I wouldn't never see you again. An' if I did, I thought we'd hafta stay friends. That woulda killed me. So I...I wanted somethin' to remember ya by. So when you wasn't lookin' I...I took it. That's how much ya mean to me. I didn't tell ya before cos I thought you was gonna leave me, but tonight...I just hadta do it. I thought it was the only way..."

Ennis sniffed, overwhelmed. Now he could see how much Jack loved him, how much he meant to him. Jack would have kept this shirt if they had gone their separate ways, would have kept it all his life, a memento of the love they'd had. He could see Jack's feelings now.

"Ennis...I am gonna tell ya why I did those things, when yer feelin' a bit better. But for now, all ya gotta know is that I love ya, okay?" Jack whispered, stroking Ennis's cheek. He wrapped Ennis up in his arms, hearing him whisper in his ear that he loved him.

* * *

><p>They remained like that for a little while, running their hands over each other's backs and nuzzling at each other. Neither of them spoke, there was no need for words right now.<p>

After some minutes, they broke apart, gazing into each other's eyes. Jack leaned in and kissed Ennis firmly, letting their tongues meet, needing to re-connect and re-establish their bond. Just as the passion began to rise, however, Ennis broke away.

"No offense, but ya need a shower, rodeo." He said with a little smirk.

Jack rolled his eyes. "I love it when you sweet talk me. Fine, I'll go get one. Then we finish this, got it?"

Ennis smiled fully. "You bet."

Jack showered quickly, eager to get back out into the bedroom. He was stood in front of the mirror towelling his hair when Ennis came in buck naked and leaned in the doorway, watching him.

"Hey," Jack grinned at the sight. "Whatcha doin'?"

Ennis came up to him, wrapped his arms around him and kissed his damp neck. "I came lookin' fer a rodeo cowboy, know where I can find one?" he murmured, stroking Jack's hair.

Jack placed his arms over Ennis's where they encircled him. "You got one in yer arms, an' he don't never want ya to let him go."

"Good. I don't wanna let him go."

They smiled at themselves in the mirror. The time would come for them to talk about all the important things they needed to, but right now they needed to show each other how they felt, and that would be enough for tonight.

"So this rodeo cowboy I found...I come to take him to bed with me. That alright?" Ennis whispered huskily in Jack's ear, making him shiver all over.

Jack turned himself in Ennis's arms, and kissed him. "Take him to bed, Ennis. Do what you want with him. He's all yers." He whispered back, eyes half-closed. Ennis bent down and lifted Jack into his arms, one arm under his legs, the other around his waist, just how he had carried him back in Gillette after they'd fled from Lightning Flat. But this was very different. Jack gasped a little at this approach but then his eyes glittered, he was clearly very aroused by this.

Ennis carried him out of the bathroom, Jack turning off the light as they passed, and over to the bed. He stopped when they reached it, then turned to Jack and kissed him deeply, slowly lowering him down onto the bed. Jack shuffled into position as Ennis crawled over him, always kissing him, not letting go. Jack's arms went around his back and pulled him closer as his own hands ran up into Jack's hair, their kisses being slow and sensuous, feeling that they were both hard.

Without breaking contact with Jack's mouth, Ennis reached over to the bedside table and grabbed the lube, twisting it open. He was forced to break the connection as he rose up onto his knees, which were on either side of Jack's waist. Jack placed his hands on Ennis's thighs as he slicked himself up, tongue flicking at the side of his mouth and his deep blue eyes dark with desire. Their eyes were fixed together as Ennis threw the tub aside and grabbed Jack's legs, which Jack willingly wrapped around him.

Ennis slowly pressed forward into Jack, sliding in with ease, both of them feeling peace and completion overcome them. They were empty without each other, and that gap could only be filled by each other. Ennis held Jack tightly around the waist and Jack held him around the neck.

Ennis started to move, at first slowly, savouring the moment. He slipped a hand to Jack's neck and pulled his head up so they could kiss as he thrust into him. Jack wrapped his legs around even tighter, pulling him ever closer as it continued. Ennis was pushing his tongue into Jack's willing mouth, that mouth he loved so much.

Jack broke the kiss and pulled Ennis's head down into the crook of his shoulder, which Ennis gladly kissed and nuzzled at, their hands running all over their now sweaty bodies. Jack gave a little moan in Ennis's ear, sensing that they were both quite close.

"Faster..." he whispered. Ennis obliged and increased the speed of his thrusts, he could feel against his stomach how close Jack was, knew it wouldn't be long. Jack's head fell back against the pillow; he could no longer hold it up, lost in euphoria. Ennis lifted his own head and kissed Jack full on the mouth again, a passionate kiss that said so much that he didn't feel he was yet capable of saying.

Suddenly, with a yell, Jack's back arched right off the bed as he exploded between their bodies, holding tight onto Ennis whose own release had just been triggered by Jack's. They shuddered and collapsed, seeing white lights in front of their eyes. They loved these mindblowing orgasms they sometimes had. The sex was always good for them of course, they were making love after all, but while their orgasms were always very satisfying, sometimes the passion and love between them manifested itself physically, coming through on occasion, through these exhilarating encounters. It didn't happen all the time, but often enough and they loved it when it did. The energy between them during these moments was electric, even more so than it had been up on the mountain.

The difference, of course, was the change in circumstances. They were together, in love, and nothing was holding them back from fully enjoying these moments.

The lights finally disappeared and Jack got his breath back. "Goddamn. Ain't been like that fer a bit, huh?"

"Yeah..." Ennis breathed into his ear, his head having dropped to Jack's shoulder when they'd collapsed.

"Yer amazin', Ennis...amazin'."

Ennis smiled and lifted his head, letting their eyes meet. He planted a soft kiss on Jack's lips and stroked his cheek.

"Darlin', if I'm amazin', it's cos of you."

* * *

><p>Becky sat at the bar drinking and thinking. She'd just spent the entire day with Ennis and Jack and they'd had a great time as she showed them around Childress. She'd been very worried about whether or not they could save their relationship, so she'd been very relieved when Jack had called her that morning, telling her everything was okay and inviting her to spend the day with them.<p>

As they'd walked around, they'd told her what had happened the night before, about Ennis's fears of losing Jack, while Jack sheepishly admitted his actions had been questionable. Becky admitted that she'd known about Jack making a pass at Jimbo, to which Ennis replied that he'd figured she'd known.

Ennis and Jack had opted not to join her in the bar tonight, they wanted to spend some time alone, so had retired back to the motel. Jack needed to get some sleep anyway; the bull riding was tomorrow.

After finishing her drink she left the bar, yawning, then paused when she heard voices around the corner. She recognised them as belonging to a known group of troublemakers, not exactly upstanding citizens. She hovered at the corner, listening, out of sight.

"So we're clear?"

"Yep. Tomorrow. We hang out in the bar an' keep an eye on him. Soon as he's outside, we jump him."

"He'll be bull ridin' tomorrow, he'll be all sore anyway after fallin' off. He'll drop like a fly." Becky's heart rate increased.

"Good. That'll teach the dirty queer from showin' his face 'round here. With any luck he won't be comin' back. Maybe we'll put him in hospital."

"What if he presses charges?"

"We'll be outta here before he comes round. We get him, then we split. Got it?"

There was a murmur of assent, but Becky could detect in their voices their enthusiasm for this attack. The group disappeared into the darkness and she stood there, stricken. They were planning to attack Jack, assail him outside this very building when he was least expecting it. And they were right, he was likely to have fallen from the bull just a number of hours before, his body would already be sore and he would be weaker.

_I've gotta warn them. They need to know what's goin' on. Ennis needs to know so he can keep an eye on him._ But she didn't want to disturb them tonight, they were...well, busy. Knocking on their motel door probably wouldn't be welcome if they got interrupted.

_I'll tell Ennis tomorrow, at the bull ridin', while Jack's gettin' ready. We'll be in the stands, an' I'll tell him then._ This decided, she nodded to herself and started walking home.

A few hours later, sometime in the early morning, Ennis woke from a wonderful dream about their future, their ranch and life that they wanted. It was pitch black outside and the room was dark. He looked at Jack, who was facing away from him, face buried in the pillow. Ennis watched him for a while, thinking about the night before. Maybe, in hindsight, it was a good thing Jack's secret had come out. He'd been pushed into finally admitting his fears, and he felt that they were closer than ever now.

He'd decided last night that he wasn't attracted to girls, but he hadn't yet had the opportunity to look at other guys to see if they did anything for him. And if he was completely honest with himself, he didn't want to look. It didn't bother him like it had before. So what if he wasn't attracted to other guys? He was definitely attracted to Jack, who was a guy. Ergo, that probably made him queer. Queer guys, by definition, liked other guys. Loved other guys, wanted to be with other guys. He was like that with Jack, so...that was it. He was queer. He'd denied it after their first night together because he was scared of Earl's fate coming upon himself or Jack, and that would probably never go away, but he was sick of running scared.

He didn't want to be scared anymore. The fear might always be there, but he didn't have to let it take over, get in the way of what he wanted: a life with Jack. Only Jack could help him work past it enough to be able to push it aside, and the first step would be for him, Ennis, to say to Jack's face that he was queer after all. The second would be to ask Jack to make love to him for the first time. If he could do the first, he could do the second. He was building up the courage to tell Jack, and knew it wouldn't be long. He just needed a final push.

He finally tore his eyes away from the vision next to him and silently slipped out of bed to look out the window. It was dark but clear, not raining. It looked like it would be another beautiful day.

As he climbed back into bed, Jack stirred next to him. "Uhhh...Ennis?" he murmured, completely disoriented.

Ennis stopped him before he could roll onto his back, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Shh...go back to sleep, I was just checkin' the weather." He whispered, leaning over him.

"What's it doin'?"

"Nothin', it's clear. Gonna be a nice day. Get some more sleep, Jack. Yer gonna need it."

"Uh huh." Jack yawned, settling down again. "Night...sweetheart." the endearment slipped out.

"Whatcha just call me?" Ennis asked with a smile. Jack had never called him that or any other such name before, but while it seemed weird at first, it sounded right. Like when he called Jack "darlin'". He quite liked it that they were so comfortable with each other that they could call each other such names.

Jack leaned back and met his eyes. "I uh...I called ya sweetheart, I think. That okay?" he asked with a little smile. Ennis kissed him softly on his lips and settled down behind him so Jack could spoon into him. Jack pulled Ennis's arm around and across his stomach, both of them falling back into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>As Ennis had predicted, the day of the bull riding dawned bright and sunny, and as a way of saying good luck, that morning he'd dragged Jack into the shower and given him a little treat, promising him more when they returned that evening.<p>

He left Jack at the side so he could get ready for the bull riding, and spotted Becky halfway up the stands.

"Hey." He greeted her. She looked troubled, which he noticed immediately. "Becky? What's up?"

With a quick glance around, she relayed to him the conversation she'd overheard the night before outside the bar the threats she'd heard and the planned ambush.

To say that Ennis was worried would be an understatement. He knew that Jack would probably want to go to the bar afterwards, especially if he won. He promised Becky that he would tell Jack about what she'd heard, and he would ask him if he still wanted to go out. If not, they would go straight back to the motel, they were planning on leaving Texas tomorrow after all. If he did...Ennis would simply have to stand by his promise to keep Jack safe. He hoped it would be enough.

As another bull rider started out, bucking atop the bull and trying to stay on, Ennis and Becky could see Jack preparing himself on his own steed. Ennis wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to see Jack do this. He knew how dangerous it was and he didn't know if he could bear to watch the love of his life get thrown to the ground. Jack looked apprehensive yet determined and focused. Seeing Jack sit on the bull like that made Ennis somewhat envious of that bull. He blushed at his own thoughts.

The rider who was currently out fell off his bull just after five seconds, and a groan echoed across the stands.

"An' now ladies an' gentlemen, please welcome another young bull rider. He's been here before, can he make eight seconds this time? He's the cousin of one of our finest barrel racers. It's Jack Twist from Lightnin' Flat, Wyomin'! Give him a big hand!"

Ennis and Becky looked on in anticipation as the bull broke free of the enclosure with Jack trying to stay on, one arm in the air. He was bucking and clenching his thigh muscles, which Ennis tried not to stare at. If he did, the effects would become very obvious to anybody looking at him. Jack sure did look good up there.

_Wonder if...he'd look that good ridin' me? _Ennis thought to himself. _What am I sayin'? Jack looks good whatever he does. When we get back to the motel tonight...I'm gonna ask him to do it. I'm ready now. _His mind was made up, it was time.

Both of them were counting in their heads up to eight seconds, hoping Jack would be able to stay on for the full time. He sure looked like he was in control.

The eight second whistle sounded and Jack was still very much in place. Ennis and Becky breathed sighs of relief and hugged each other as the crowd cheered.

_This is fer you, Ennis, _Jack thought happily, knowing that his lover was there supporting him. But then, without warning, the bull suddenly gained the upper hand, twisting and turning around faster than ever, and Jack's happy thoughts were wiped clean as he tried to concentrate, clenching his teeth, but there was really only one way to end this ride now. He braced himself, knowing this would hurt, and knowing it would hurt Ennis to see this happen.

With a final few jumps from the bull, Jack lost his grip and was thrown forward over the bull's head. He landed on his front and groaned as his chest made contact with the hard ground.

Up in the stands, Ennis nearly had heart failure when he saw what happened. It was almost in slow motion as he watched the horrific event unfold. The rodeo clowns were out, distracting the bull, and Jack was already on his feet, staggering towards the gate. His chest was a little sore but he was otherwise okay, although still a little punch-drunk from the fall. He collapsed on his back onto the tailgate of a nearby truck and took a few deep breaths. Maybe Ennis had been right after all when he'd voiced his doubts about doing this.

His view of the sun was blocked out by a welcome sight: Ennis and Becky were leaning over him, identical expressions of worry on their faces.

"Jack? You okay, bud?" Ennis asked softly. At the moment he didn't care who saw him tending to Jack, he wanted to make sure he was okay, that was his priority.

Jack groaned and sat up. "Yeah I'm okay."

"You sure? You landed on yer front an' that ground's hard...sure ya don't wanna see a doctor or somethin'?"

Jack gripped Ennis's arm reassuringly. "I'm fine, stop worryin'."

Ennis gave him a look. "It's my job to worry 'bout you." Jack grinned.

Becky nudged Ennis. "Get a room, you two." She said playfully, a smirk on her face. Ennis went red and Jack giggled.

"Seriously though. I'm okay you guys."

"Well...alright." Ennis nodded. He remembered what Becky had told him about those threats, that those men banked on Jack being weakened by the time they went for him, and it looked like they were right.

* * *

><p>Jack's efforts paid off. He was handed a brand new rodeo buckle and $500, which they were both glad for as they were running short, with all the motels they'd had to stay in, gas, food and change for the phone. It was a relief that they had a bit more money now. True, it was far from enough for a place of their own, but at least they weren't broke. They were two guys in love with nowhere to go and not a lot of money. It was them against the world, and all they needed was each other.<p>

The three of them were back in the bar, talking and laughing together. Jack had been brought up to speed on the threats made against him but he was determined not to let them affect him. Those men were after him because he was queer, but he wasn't about to hide away for something that had made him happy. He knew that Ennis was more scared than he was, and for good reason, but he knew he would be safe with Ennis around. His ribs were hurting slightly, but he figured he was just sore from the fall and didn't need any kind of medical attention.

The three of them kept their eyes open, just in case the men were lurking inside the bar somewhere, watching them.

"S'cuse me, miss." A voice near Becky piped up. A young cowboy with light brown hair was stood there, hat in his hands in respect. "You Becky Twist?"

Becky liked what she saw. "I sure am. Who might you be?" she gave her best grin.

"Uh, I'm Andy. I was wonderin'...you wanna dance?" he looked at her shyly. It was quite endearing really.

"Well, I ain't gonna say no to a handsome cowboy." She smiled, rising from her stool. "S'cuse me, boys." She said to Ennis and Jack, who were also grinning. Now Ennis knew what Jack meant when he'd said she had a sassy side to her. She left with Andy for the dance floor.

When Jack twisted back around he felt a sharp pain in his ribcage, and he gasped out loud.

"Jack?" Ennis was immediately attentive. "You okay?"

Jack gave a smile. "Yeah. Just a little sore. Don't worry."

"You sure you don't wanna see a doctor?"

"I'm fine. I might need a bit of lovin' after, though." Jack whispered, a sultry look in his eyes. Ennis went red. He was definitely ready to ask Jack to be on top.

"I gotta go to the bathroom..." Jack said, getting up.

"Sure." Replied Ennis, watching him as he walked away.

Unfortunately, Ennis looked away a moment too soon, and didn't see that Jack was followed by three men into the bathroom. But luckily, Becky saw everything, and alarm bells were going off in her head.

"Uh...Andy?" she said, turning to face him. He was a lovely guy, just her type, and she hated to cut their dance short but family came first. "I gotta go, somethin's up."

Andy looked concerned. "What's wrong?"

She bit her lip. "I think my cousin's about to get hurt."

Ennis was just finishing his drink when Becky and Andy came over. "Ennis." She hissed. "They're here."

"What?"

"Those men I told ya about, the ones who were threatenin' to hurt Jack, they're here!"

"What? Where?" Ennis asked in alarm, looking around.

"In the bathroom!"

"But..." _Jack's in the bathroom. They've followed him in. An' they..._

Without so much as a second thought, Ennis shot out of his seat and bolted towards the bathroom.

Jack finished drying his hands and turned, only to find his path blocked by three unfamiliar men. He didn't know them, but he could see the look in their eyes, and knew it all too well. He'd seen that look back in Signal, upon the faces of the two men who had been talking about him and had then proceeded to drive him and Ennis out of town, wielding tire irons.

Panic rose in his chest, hoping beyond hope that Ennis was about to walk in. No way could he handle all three of them by himself.

"Uh...guys, I don't want no trouble..." he started, backing away. They merely followed him towards the back wall. They didn't appear to have any weapons, but fists could do a lot of damage if there were six of them all at the same time.

Before he could react, before he could defend himself, they were all on him. One of them punched him and made him stagger, then a second from behind kicked the back of his legs, making him crumple to the floor. He tried to trip them up but they were everywhere. He couldn't defend himself, could only try to crawl away, but he knew that would be a lost cause.

Without warning, one of them kicked his chest. Sharp, shooting pain filled him and he could see white lights, tasting blood in his mouth. How he wished Ennis would appear, not to protect him, but just to see his wonderful face one last time before he went to meet his maker, tell him he loved him. He was kicked in the nose and the blood flowed freely, staining the floor of the bathroom. He was in so much pain and knew his number was up.

But then, by some miracle, he heard the most wonderful sound – Ennis's voice. He was growling at the three men and dragging them away. He heard Becky's voice, full of panic, yelling his name. He heard the three men scarper and saw a pair of feet beside him, bending down.

"Jack?" Ennis had seen red when he'd walked in and seen what happened. The love of his life was in danger, and that was all that registered in his mind, not even realising that Becky had followed him into the men's bathroom.

He felt his heart being torn out to see the state Jack was in, covered in blood and deathly white. Andy had run off to call an ambulance and Becky had her hands over her mouth, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"Ennis..." Jack croaked out. "I..."

"Save yer strength. Yer gonna need it."

"I...love...you...forever..." Jack whispered, he was also crying.

"Jack don't talk like that, yer gonna be fine!" Ennis was starting to panic. He just couldn't lose Jack. That had been his greatest fear ever since they'd got together. That he would lose Jack, either by separation or death, and now it appeared to be happening.

Jack's eyelids started drooping. Ennis's stomach flipped over and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. "Jack? Jack!"

Jack's blue eyes disappeared behind his eyelids but Ennis's hand on his chest told him his heart was still going.

"Jack, I love you, please don't leave me..." Ennis sobbed. "There's still so much I wanna tell you..."

All he could do was kneel here beside Jack, both of them covered in his blood, waiting for the sirens of the ambulance, praying that there was still time.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The hospital lights were bright and the doctors and nurses were rushing around dealing with patients. But all this was a blur to Ennis as he sat in the cafeteria, staring into his hands as Becky was over at the coffee machine. Jack had been wheeled off immediately as soon as they'd arrived, unconscious but still alive.

There were so many thoughts running through Ennis's head. Terror that he would lose Jack, regret that he hadn't had the chance to tell Jack he really was queer and that he wanted Jack to make love to him. Anger at the men who had done this and the vow for revenge running through his heart.

Becky sat down opposite him and handed him a coffee. He was only drinking to have something to do with his hands; his mind was somewhere else, somewhere in this building where his other half could be fighting for his life.

Becky looked at him in silence, waiting for him to speak.

"I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him." Ennis whispered, staring into his coffee cup.

"You will," Becky replied quietly. "They didn't have no weapons, bar fights have ended up much worse before now. He's gonna be fine."

Ennis looked up. "He was covered in blood."

"That was 'cos one of them got his nose an' you know it. The flow got stemmed pretty quickly, it'll be okay."

"Oh no..." Ennis said suddenly, head falling into his hand.

"What?"

"When he fell off the bull...he landed on his front...an' he was hurtin'...what if they got him there?"

Becky put both of their coffee cups aside and grasped his hands. "Look at me, Ennis."

He met her eyes, they were full of fear.

"It's gonna be okay. Even if yer right, that they got his ribs or somethin'...these doctors are real good, they've dealt with worse than this. A friend of mine used to work here in the summer, you don't wanna know the horror stories I've heard. I know it seems real bad 'cos of how you feel about Jack, but trust me, it'll be fine."

"Ya know, I...I used to think I wasn't queer. Even after I first...slept with him." Ennis mumbled.

"Really?"

He nodded. "I was engaged to Alma...thought I was straight. Even when me an' him got together fer real. Thought I was straight 'cept fer him. Thought I still liked girls."

"What made you change your mind?"

He looked thoughtful. "I know now I never really fancied Alma. She was real sweet an' I figured it was what I was supposed to do, so...I proposed to her. But...truth is...she never really did anythin' for me, ya know? Not like him."

Becky was silent. "So...maybe it was just Alma. Maybe she just wasn't yer type. What about other girls?"

He looked at her, steeling himself. "I looked. I looked at other girls. I...I looked at you."

"You did?" Becky asked, surprised.

"Just to see if I could be attracted to girls. I thought about it when we was dancin' last night. S'alright though. No offense, but...you didn't do anythin' fer me." He smiled slightly.

Becky grinned. "Thank God. That would create a problem if I did."

"An'...I looked at some of the other girls that night. Nothin'. Didn't feel nothin' at all. But then I looked at Jack...can't describe what lookin' at him does to me." He went slightly red.

"So then...you don't like girls. Fair enough. What about...what about other guys?" she asked apprehensively.

"I thought 'bout lookin'...thought I would hafta if I was gonna figure it out. But...I don't wanna. Feels like...I'd be cheatin' on him or somethin'." He shook his head. "An' it don't matter anyway. I'm in love with a guy, wanna spend the rest of my life with him...if that makes me queer...that makes me queer. Nobody else is gonna care if I ain't looked at other guys, right? They'll just see that I'm with Jack. That'll be it."

"You're right, Ennis. All that people will care to see when they judge you is that yer in love with a guy. It won't matter to them if you've only looked at Jack. But ya know...don't freak out if ya take a second glance at another guy. It ain't cheatin', as long as ya keep yer hands to yerself. Don't beat yerself up over it."

They fell into silence, Ennis digesting her words. She made a lot of sense. He could see a lot of Jack in her.

A doctor came over to them. "Are you Jack Twist's family?"

"Yes," replied Becky without hesitation. "I'm his cousin, this is his brother." She knew there was no chance of Ennis getting to see Jack if they knew he wasn't family.

"How is he?" Ennis asked fearfully.

"Mr Twist is very lucky. The blow to his head was minor, and the pain caused him to lose conciousness. The blow to his nose is what caused all of the blood."

"Told ya." Becky said to Ennis.

"I have to ask...has Mr Twist sustained any injuries lately, prior to the attack?"

Ennis's heart sank. "Yeah. He's a bull rider; he fell off yesterday an' landed on his front."

The doctor sighed. "I was afraid of that. A few ribs have been fractured on his right side. The fall itself did not cause this, I believe, but it certainly weakened him considerably. The blows to his chest, while not too powerful on their own, were made worse by his weakened state."

Ennis gulped. "Is he gonna be okay?"

The doctor smiled. "He's going to be fine. Like I said, he's very lucky considering the circumstances. His only lasting injury will be the fractured ribs. They'll take a few weeks to heal properly, but once they do he'll be as good as new."

"Thank God." Ennis sighed, running his hands over his face. "When can we see him?"

"His ribs are currently being taped up. He did regain consciousness but the painkillers have sent him to sleep again. If you would go to the waiting room I can come and let you know when you can see him."

"Thanks, doctor." Becky said in relief. The doctor nodded and walked away. She looked at Ennis, who had a small, shy smile on his face, but his eyes had their sparkle back.

* * *

><p>At nearly three in the morning, Ennis settled himself into the chair beside Jack's bed and took his hand, running his thumbs over it. It felt so good to be holding some part of him again. Becky, despite being a blood relative, insisted that he go in first. Andy had come by to keep her company, and Ennis had thanked him for calling the ambulance before he went in to Jack's room.<p>

Ennis looked into Jack's beloved face, wishing that those beautiful blue eyes would reveal themselves. Sometimes he was blown away by just how beautiful Jack was.

He opened his mouth and hesitated. He'd heard that if someone was unconscious, they would still hear if somebody talked to them. It was worth a try.

He sighed and lowered his gaze to Jack's hand in both of his. "Ya know, I...when I was growin' up...we didn't have nothin'...parents dyin' when I was still a kid...not finishin' high school...I grew up not expectin' much outta life. Didn't think I deserved nothin'. That's the difference 'tween you an' me. You always had dreams, bud. I can see it. You knew what you wanted outta life. You didn't have nothin' much neither, but you deserved a lot."

"Bein' with you...I'm startin' to think...maybe I do deserve somethin' outta life. It ain't wrong to wish fer stuff, right?" he asked, looking up into Jack's peaceful face. "You did that. You made me think I can have a better life than what I had. You showed me there's more. I can't thank ya enough, Jack. You didn't just make me want that sweet life with ya, you showed me...showed me we can do it. Like we said back in Signal, we gotta stick together. If we can do that...we can do this."

He shuffled a little closer and caressed Jack's cheek softly. "You deserve so much. An' I know I ain't treated you right sometimes, but from now on I'm gonna. I'm gonna give ya that sweet life, darlin'. I owe you so much, it's the least I can do."

He felt his hand being squeezed gently, and looked down. Jack's hand was wrapping itself tightly around his own. He looked up. "Jack?"

Jack's mouth opened and he let out a long sigh. It was the most wonderful sound in the world right then. His eyelashes fluttered and at last, those deep blue eyes became visible.

"Ennis...?" he whispered.

"I'm here, darlin'." Ennis murmured, shuffling even closer, stroking Jack's cheek. A smirk appeared at the side of Jack's mouth.

"You mean all that just now?"

Ennis went red at the fact he'd been heard. "I sure did. I swear, Jack, I'm gonna make it happen. We're gonna get us a place. I'm gonna make ya happy."

Jack smiled wearily. "C'mere..." he whispered, raising his hand to the back of Ennis's neck, pulling him close. Their lips met in a soft kiss, just like their first so many nights ago in the tent.

"I love you." Jack whispered. "Love ya so much."

"I know ya do. An' I love you too."

"My ribs are bad ain't they?" Jack asked, a sheepish look on his face.

Ennis sighed. "Yeah. Coupla fractured ones."

"Damn. I shoulda got 'em checked. I thought I was okay. If I had...we woulda gone back to the motel..."

"It's my fault. I wasn't watchin'. I didn't see 'em follow ya. It's cos of Becky warnin' me that I got 'em off ya in time. If I'd been watchin'...I woulda got to ya sooner...an'...what if Becky hadn't seen 'em? You woulda..." Ennis trembled, the fear of losing Jack rearing up inside him again. His eyes filled with tears.

"Oh sweetheart...don't cry..." Jack brought a hand to Ennis's cheek, wiping the tears away when they escaped.

Ennis sniffed. "I like that name fer me, ya know. Like when I call you darlin'." He said, his voice shaky.

Jack smiled. "It's good that we're close enough fer that, huh? Don't go blamin' yerself, Ennis. If it's anybody's fault, it's those guys that did it. Nobody's to blame but them. I don't blame you."

Ennis nodded, trying to make himself believe Jack's words. He cleared his throat. "You wanna see Becky now? She's been real worried. Her friend Andy's here too, he called the ambulance ya know."

"Sure, let 'em in."

Ennis squeezed his hand and left the room, followed a few seconds later by Becky and the other cowboy, Andy. Becky went straight to his bedside and hugged him tightly, breathing a sigh of relief. Andy stood at the edge of the bed, twisting his hat in his hands nervously.

"So, Andy," Jack spoke up. "I hear ya called the ambulance. Thank you, I owe ya one." He smiled, indicating all three of them to sit down.

"No problem, Mr Twist. Glad I could help."

"I ain't havin' that. Call me Jack. An' this is Ennis." He indicated his partner. "So...you like our girl here?" he asked mischievously, gesturing to Becky, who blushed.

"Uh...well..." Andy stuttered. "She's real nice, an' real pretty. I'd sure like to spend more time with her, if that's alright." He looked at Becky shyly.

"S'fine with me, friend. You treat her well or I'll kick yer ass." Jack said matter-of-factly. Andy would have been intimidated if he hadn't seen the ill-disguised grin on Ennis's face, or the twinkle in Jack's eyes. He let out a nervous laugh.

"I sure will. Don't worry." He looked at his watch. "I better get home. Nice to meet ya properly."

"Right back atcha."

Becky walked with him to the door. "So, uh..." Andy started. "Maybe I'll see ya in the bar tonight? I mean, it's three in the mornin' now, so...I guess it's tonight."

"Sure." Becky replied eagerly. "Around seven?"

"Sounds great." They looked at each other nervously for a few seconds, and then he kissed her on the cheek and left the room, red-faced. Becky stared after him with butterflies in her chest, trying to ignore the fact that Jack was smirking and Ennis was rolling his eyes at him.

* * *

><p>Soon after, Jack sent Ennis and Becky away, insisting that they get some sleep. Ennis tried to sleep in the motel, but the bed felt cold and empty without that warm body next to him, curling around him lovingly. He gave up after a few hours of tossing and turning, and by eight in the morning he was back outside. Needing company, he took breakfast with Becky and they both went to the police station to report the incident and give a description of Jack's assailants, not an easy task when they'd barely registered what they'd looked like, being distracted by the sight of Jack on the floor in that state.<p>

Just after noon, he returned to the hospital to find Jack sitting up in bed and trying to eat. He was a little sore in the ribs but he seemed to be managing.

"Hey darlin'." said Ennis when he walked in, earning himself a big grin from Jack. He walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Hey yerself." Jack replied. "Get any sleep?"

Ennis sighed. "No. Couldn't sleep without you there." He admitted. Jack grasped his hand.

"Well friend, if it's any consolation, I think I only slept 'cos of the painkillers. What you been doin' all mornin', then?"

"I, uh...I had breakfast with Becky, an' we went to the station, told 'em what happened."

Jack looked up. "Ya did? Think they're gonna catch 'em?"

Ennis shrugged. "I dunno. I hope so, cos if I get to 'em first..." he shook his head. "So, what the doctor say? When are they lettin' you go?"

Jack made a face. "They wanna keep me overnight, as a precaution. Let me out tomorrow. Ya know, I...I asked 'em 'bout...ya know, sex."

Ennis looked at him warily. "And...?"

"Well, they said it ain't impossible, but not to overdo it, ya know? My ribs are up here, an' all the thrustin's down there." He waved to the parts in question. "I can still do it so long as I go slow, ya know?"

_Perfect, _Ennis thought to himself. "Jack...there's somethin' I wanna tell ya, then somethin' I wanna ask ya."

Jack put his knife and fork down. "Okay. What ya wanna tell me?"

Ennis had tried to prepare himself for this all morning as he went about his business, or maybe even longer. Some part of him had known it for months, but he couldn't admit it then. He'd acknowledged that he needed a final push, and the fear of losing Jack for good seemed to have done the trick.

He took several deep breaths, looking directly into Jack's eyes. Jack could see he was gathering the strength to say whatever it was and waited patiently.

"I, uh...I'm, uh..."

Jack took his hand. "What?" he asked softly.

"I'm...queer." the word came out in a rush, and he looked relieved to have finally got it out.

Jack couldn't have been more surprised. Ennis had told him on their way to Childress that he had been thinking about the possibility, but some part of Jack's brain had reasoned that maybe he would never be ready to admit it. He'd never expected this.

"You...you are?"

Ennis nodded. "I know I said I ain't, but...I think...I am." He trembled with nerves and Jack took both of his hands in his own, kissing them.

"Oh sweetheart...I sure am glad you said it. Gotta make things easier, huh? We can talk about it." He smiled at Ennis, who responded with his own shy smile.

"Yeah...I ain't quite ready to talk 'bout it proper yet, though, Jack. Maybe when yer outta here?"

"Sure. We got lotsa things to talk 'bout, things we gotta say. We'll do it then."

There were a few seconds of silence, both of them thinking about the promise just made, and everything they had to say to each other. Ennis was now thinking about what he wanted to ask Jack, and this would be harder, the hardest thing he'd ever attempted. He so wanted it to happen, and hoped Jack would agree, but it was hard for him to let down that last barrier between them.

"Uh...Jack? There was somethin' I wanted to ask ya, too..."

"Oh right...what was it?"

"Um...well...you an' me, when we're, uh...doin' it. It's always been me doin' you, right? You ain't never done me. Not proper. I mean...you've done stuff to me, but..."

Jack smiled. "I know what ya mean. I ain't ever been inside ya. Ennis...it don't bother me. I know it's been real hard for ya, gettin' used to havin' sex with me at all. That's why I ain't ever asked to be on top. After how scared ya were after that first night, I didn't wanna scare ya even more. I knew I shouldn't push it."

"I know. An' I'm real grateful." Ennis replied, squeezing his hands. "I wasn't ready for...that. Ain't been ready to...let someone else be...in control, like."

"Like I said, it don't bother me none. I like ya bein' inside me. Feels great ya know."

Ennis lowered his head. "Well...thing is, Jack...I'm ready."

Jack's heart skipped a beat. "What?"

Ennis met his eyes. "I'm ready fer you...to be in control."

"Oh God, Ennis...are ya sure? It's a big deal, I know that. An' I don't wanna put ya off, but the first time...it hurts a fair bit, cos ya ain't used to it."

Ennis nodded. "I thought 'bout that...I know it's gonna hurt, but...there ain't no-one else I trust like I trust you. I know you'll make it good. I trust ya, Jack. An'...didn't ya say the doctor says to take it slow, like? It works out real well."

"Well I guess...if we hafta go slow anyway. Ennis, I been hopin' this would happen, an' I'll gladly do it if ya want me to. I've wanted to do it since Brokeback but knew I shouldn't push it. I'll help ya. Help ya get comfortable, ya know?"

Ennis smiled. "I know. So...maybe when ya get outta here, after we've said everythin' we gotta...?" He looked at Jack hopefully, a twinkle in his eyes.

Jack smiled fully. "You got it, cowboy."

* * *

><p>The following morning, Jack was finally being discharged. Just as well, for he was growing frustrated by being cooped up in the hospital, he needed fresh air. While he was filling out the necessary paperwork and collecting his prescribed painkillers, Ennis had promised to ring his mother on his behalf and tell her what had happened.<p>

He put the coins in and dialled, listening to the rings stretch across the miles.

"Hello?" answered Rose.

"Mornin' Rose, it's Ennis."

"Ennis! How lovely to hear from you! How's Jack?"

"Well...we're in Texas. There was a rodeo an' Jack was competin' in the bull ridin'. He won, but...he fell off."

"Goodness, is he alright?" she asked in a concerned voice.

"Well, uh...he was a little sore, but okay. The worst happened that night, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, that night...there were these three guys...in the bar. They attacked him."

"What? What happened?"

"They put him in hospital," Ennis replied bitterly. "He's been here just over 24 hours."

"Oh no...is he okay?"

"He's okay. Got a coupla fractured ribs, but he'll be alright."

"Oh dear...what about the people who did this? Have they been caught?"

"Uh, well...we didn't get a real good look at 'em. Jack was on the floor an' we didn't notice much else. They scarpered. But we did report it."

"We? Who else was there if Jack was...well..."

"Oh...that's somethin' Jack wanted to tell ya. You know his cousin Becky? Uh...his daddy's niece?"

Rose had been silent in his presence a few times, mainly companionably as the talk had wound down back in Lightning Flat, but no silence had said so much as this one. It was strange; this silence seemed to speak a thousand words. But why? Surely she would know about Becky and how she was related to Jack? Why was this silence so tense?

"Uh...Rose, you still there?"

"Oh, yes. Sorry about that. So...you met Becky, huh?" her voice appeared light, but her silence had already spoken for her. Something wasn't right. More family secrets? They sure had a lot of skeletons in the closet, these Twists. He was practically marrying into this family, what exactly was he letting himself in for?

"Yeah. She's real nice. A lot like Jack."

"I remember her...she was always really sweet..." her voice sounded different, almost wistful. "So anyway...what happens now?"

Ennis was taken aback by the abrupt change in subject, but decided to go along with it. He would definitely need to talk to Jack and Becky about this. "Uh, well...we were gonna leave Texas today, but Jack ain't up to travellin' yet, so we're gonna stay a while. We've got money, Jack won $500 in the bull ridin'. We're gonna stay till he's fit fer travellin'.

"Okay. You decided where you're gonna go?"

"Kinda...we thought about Loveland, like ya said. It's a real nice place. I can see us livin' there fine. Gonna have a proper look when we get back up there. How's everythin' up there?"

"All fine. John's still angry about you gettin' away, but he ain't done nothin'. I think he's just glad yer off his property. He don't want ya comin' back here."

"Ain't gonna. Don't wanna go back there ever again, an' I ain't gonna let Jack go up there again, least not on his own. Don't wanna let him outta my sight for a while."

"I know. Listen, I better go. Will you get Jack to call me when he's up to it?"

"I sure will, Rose."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye." He hung up and turned to see Jack's doctor walking down the corridor towards him.

"Mr Del Mar, we're ready to have Mr Twist go home now."

"Okay." Ennis followed the doctor back up to Jack's room, where Jack was sat on the edge of the bed looking put out.

"They won't let me go without someone to take me." He said exasperatedly.

Ennis chuckled. "S'alright, bud, I gotcha."

The doctor turned to Jack. "Now remember, don't take the pills too often if you can avoid it, only when your ribs hurt, and even then only every four hours or more."

"I got it." Jack replied, trying to sound like he hadn't been told this a few times already.

It was a relief to both of them to get back out into the sun, breathing in the fresh air. They got into the truck and Jack sighed contentedly at being in a familiar surrounding. He didn't have much time to appreciate it, however, for he was soon being swept up into Ennis's arms and kissed passionately.

"Mmmph." said Jack, melting into the feeling of being in his lover's arms again for what had seemed like in forever. He'd sorely missed this, even just being held by Ennis, feeling safe and loved. Nothing compared to this feeling.

Ennis finally let him go after a few minutes. "Missed you." He whispered fervently. "Missed you somethin' awful."

"God, me too...can't wait to get back to that motel. Are ya sure you still wanna...?" he asked, looking at Ennis meaningfully.

Ennis nodded, smiling. "I'm sure. I really want ya to do it. If yer up to it."

"Sure. We'll make it work. What we doin' today?"

"Well...Becky was wonderin' if ya wanna go out fer a steak, an' she's invited Andy. It'll be the four of us. That alright with you?"

"Sure, he's a nice guy, an' she likes him. You think we should tell him? About us? I mean...if we're all goin' out together...somethin' might slip out. You know us when we've been drinkin'."

Ennis bit his lip, thinking. "Well...how about we get Becky to tell him before we go out? Then he can still back out if he wants to an' we don't have a big scene?"

"Yeah, yer right. Probably safer that way. If he ain't comfortable with it, at least he can back out an' no harm done."

"Alright. I'll call Becky an' get her to talk to him. If it's okay, we're on fer tonight. If not...we'll have to do somethin' else."

* * *

><p>The early evening found Ennis and Jack sitting in the restaurant with Becky and Andy, talking and laughing. Becky had agreed to talk to Andy and tell him about the nature of Ennis and Jack's relationship, and while he'd been a little surprised, he confessed that when he'd seen how the pair of them looked at each other, he'd felt sure that he could see something there, something more than friendship. He insisted it didn't bother him, for it was really none of his business anyway and they were decent guys. He'd seen with his own eyes how torn up Ennis had been when he'd thought he was going to lose Jack.<p>

As the meal progressed, they spent much of it talking about how Ennis and Jack had met and what had happened so far, the good and the bad.

"So what are you guys plannin' next?" Andy asked as they ate.

Ennis cleared his throat. "Uh, well...we were s'posed to be leavin' today fer Colorado, start settin' things up, ya know? But with what happened, it ain't a good idea fer Jack to be travellin' too far yet. He needs his rest." Jack looked at him gratefully.

"Yeah...this trip's been good fer us, but I can't wait to get outta here." He said fervently.

"Hey, uh...I wanted to ask you guys somethin'." Ennis said, looking between Jack and Becky.

"What?"

"Well, when I called Jack's ma at the hospital...I told her that we'd met you down here," he said, nodding at Becky. "An...I dunno, she went real quiet, an' when I asked her if she was alright...it was just weird. Said she was fine, but..." he trailed off at the look in Becky's eyes. She looked like she was doing some thinking about his statement, and her eyes had darkened at the mention of Jack's mother.

"Uh, Becky? You okay? Did ya not like her or somethin'?" Jack asked, concerned. He too had seen the look in her eyes, and he didn't like it much.

Becky glanced up. "No, I liked her fine. She was always real nice, an' I know she was good to you after yer daddy had finished with ya. I dunno why she'd go quiet..." her voice was low and she avoided their eyes.

Ennis and Jack looked at each other, thoroughly confused. If Rose and Becky had always got on as well as they'd said, why did they react like this at the mention of each other? There was definitely a secret there, something that not even Jack was aware of. They exchanged a slight nod and excused themselves.

In the bathroom, they gave a quick look around. It was completely empty.

"What the hell's goin' on with her an' my mama?" Jack wondered aloud, looking at Ennis.

"I dunno, bud," Ennis admitted, running a hand through his hair. "But I guess if they won't tell us there ain't a lot we can do 'bout it. You sure they got on well back in Wyomin'?"

"I been wrackin' my brains, Ennis, an' as far as I can remember...yeah. My mama was always real nice to her, seemed grateful to her fer bein' my friend."

They fell into silence, staring into the middle distance and thinking.

"Well..." Ennis sighed. "Guess there ain't much we can do." Jack nodded in agreement.

"Hey, Ennis? 'Bout tonight...you really sure you wanna...?"

Ennis smiled. "Yeah. I wanna do it that way. But ya know we got some things to talk about first. We gotta do that before we can do this."

"I know." Jack looked quickly over his shoulder, checking the door. "C'mere..." he whispered, moving towards Ennis, who shivered with longing. They couldn't possibly go at it here in the bathroom, not if they wanted to live. But a kiss or two wasn't out of the question.

And a kiss was what he got. Jack firmly pressed his lips to his, and he responded with enthusiasm, ears peeled for signs of the door opening.

When they broke apart, Jack whispered, "I'm gonna make it good for ya, Ennis, I promise. Gonna help ya relax. I'll do whatever I can to help ya. I ain't gonna lie to ya, it's gonna hurt."

"I know...but Jack, I want this to happen. I _need _it to happen. I want ya inside me." Ennis whispered back. "What 'bout you? You up to it?" he asked in a concerned voice, gently pressing a hand to Jack's fractured ribs.

Jack nodded. "I'll be fine. We're gonna be goin' real slow anyway. Ennis...if I'm gonna be hurtin' ya...I may as well suffer fer it."

"Oh Jack...it ain't yer fault if it hurts me. Ain't like you can control it."

"It's okay, Ennis. Yer gonna hurt, I'm gonna hurt. We'll just hafta take the pain together, friend."

Ennis gazed into his eyes. "You sure?"

Jack kissed him again in confirmation.

They finally left the bathroom and headed back to their table to finish the meal, Becky seemed back to normal now.

Outside the diner, the four of them stood talking and said they were going their separate ways. Becky and Andy were heading to the bar and Ennis and Jack, blushing somewhat, said they were heading back to the motel.

Andy had forgotten his hat, so went back in to retrieve it, leaving Becky to watch Ennis and Jack walk away.

She thought about what Ennis had said, about Jack's mother and, by association, his father. The secret that was held by the three of them, plus her own mother and father. The secret held for eighteen long years for reasons too painful and bitter to discuss. She would never forget the day after her eighteenth birthday last year, when her parents had sat her down to tell her. That day had changed everything.

She debated with herself whether or not to tell Jack. While he would be surprised, she figured he would also be happy to discover this secret. Should she tell them?

_You want to drag up the past? It was hidden for a reason. You'll do more harm than good. Don't go dredgin' up all that bad stuff. Jack will hate him even more than he does now. I'm takin' this secret to my grave._


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Ennis and Jack settled themselves on the end of the bed, sitting so that they could look into each other's eyes. This moment had been building up for a long time, things needed to be said, about their relationship and about themselves.

Ennis sighed. "Who's goin' first?"

Jack held his hand. "I will." He took a deep breath.

"When I came to Signal this summer...I wasn't lookin' for just work. I was all mixed up inside after last summer, and then this spring."

"I...I knew, after that night with Joel, that I was attracted to guys. But...I still didn't know what I wanted, or what it meant. I tried to figure it out that winter, but I couldn't. That's when I decided to come here to Texas. I told my parents I was comin' fer the rodeo, an' to see Becky. That was true, I guess...but I know now I was lookin' fer somethin' else."

"What was it?" Ennis asked softly.

Jack met his eyes. The answer was clear as day. "I made that pass at Jimbo...cos I was confused. I knew I liked guys an' I was messed up. Talked to Becky about it, told her it felt like I was lookin' fer somethin'...but I couldn't figure it out. So I went back home."

"I dunno why I decided to go back to Brokeback this May...maybe I thought if I went back to the place where it all changed I could figure it out. You remember how I looked at ya outside Aguirre's trailer?"

Ennis nodded. "Thought there was somethin' about ya."

"I think...I think I thought...you might be able to help me, ya know? But at the same time, I wanted to keep my distance cos of the thing with Joel, 'specially once you said you was engaged. I wanted ya to help...but I didn't wanna mess ya up. But then I started havin' feelin's for ya...weren't no good after that." He smiled.

"So...what were ya lookin' for?" Ennis murmured, stroking Jack's hand with his thumb.

Jack met his eyes. "Love. I know it now. What I wanted. Didn't know much about love back then, couldn't figure it out. An' I didn't figure it out here. It was only when they put me up on Brokeback with a quiet, shy ranch hand that I figured it out." He said happily, gazing into Ennis's eyes with love. "Now I know I wanted love...with a guy. Didn't know it till I got it. That's what I was tryin' to tell ya the other night, when I showed ya the shirts. I messed about cos I was tryin' to figure it out. Now I get it."

He stroked Ennis's cheek tenderly. "I love you. An' I promise, from here it's just you an' me, okay?"

Ennis nodded. "Okay, darlin'. I'm sorry I didn't let ya say it before. Makes a lot of sense."

Jack shook his head. "S'alright. I'm just glad it didn't split us up."

"Yeah..." Ennis sighed. "So...is that everythin' you wanted to say?"

Jack nodded. "Your turn..."

Ennis took a deep breath. "That evenin' after our first night...I said I wasn't queer cos I thought I wasn't. I had Alma, thought I loved her. You turned everythin' upside down, an' I'm glad ya did. That whole summer up there...I still thought I wasn't."

"I know we ain't talked 'bout it since we got together...truth is, I didn't wanna, cos of Earl an' Rich. I thought if I said I'm queer...the same would happen to me...or worse, you." He said softly, gripping Jack's hand. "Scares the hell outta me to think I could lose ya. So when you got hurt...that was the push I needed."

"Whaddaya mean?"

Ennis met his gaze squarely. "I thought that if I was gonna figure it out, I hadta look at girls an' other guys, see how I reacted. Jack, I...I looked at Becky."

"You did?" Jack asked, surprised.

"Yeah, but I swear, it was just to see if girls did anythin' fer me. I had a plan goin'. But it's okay. Didn't feel nothin'." He replied sincerely.

Jack let out a sigh. "That's somethin' then. So...what about other guys?" he asked apprehensively. He could hardly get mad at Ennis if he'd taken a second glance at another guy, he wasn't exactly as pure as the driven snow either.

Ennis shook his head. "Didn't look. Thought about it, but...I didn't wanna. Felt like I'd be cheatin' on ya. An' it don't matter, Jack. Yer a guy, an' I'm in love with ya, an' I wanna spend the rest of my life with ya. That probably makes me queer, huh?" he smirked a little.

"Well...I guess..."

"An', uh...this whole thing 'bout me wantin' you on top...it's like...puttin' a capper on it, ya know? Lettin' another man...do that...probably about as queer as ya can get. That's why I ain't been ready to let ya, cos I thought I wasn't queer. I just couldn't let ya do it, no matter how much I love ya. But now I know I am...I'm ready."

He shuffled closer to Jack, and linked their fingers together. "I didn't feel love till they put me up on a mountain with a blue-eyed rodeo cowboy that lassoed my heart fer good. I love ya so much, Jack. I wanna spend the rest of my life tryin' to show ya."

Ennis's entire speech had been heart-warming to hear, but it was this last statement that made Jack's lip tremble, and they wrapped their arms around each other. Ennis was kissing his hair and he was burying his face in Ennis's neck, hearts beating in unison.

"Thank you..." Jack said in a muffled voice.

"It's okay...glad I can say it now."

"Uh huh." Jack broke away with a watery smile. "So is that everythin' you wanted to say?"

"Yeah."

They looked at each other for a few beats, and when they locked eyes there was something new there. These last barriers had been broken down between them; everything was laid out there in the open for the other to see.

Ennis cleared his throat. "So..." he started, gesturing towards the rest of the bed, a hopeful look in his eyes. He was undeniably apprehensive but he trusted Jack completely.

Jack smiled. "Yeah."

Ennis swallowed. "I, uh...I gotta use the bathroom first..."

"Sure." Jack whispered. They stood up and faced each other, hands linked. Jack stroked Ennis's cheek. "I'll be on the bed. Take yer time. Come on out whenever yer ready."

* * *

><p>Ennis stood facing himself in the mirror, contemplating what was about to happen. He very much wanted to do this, but he couldn't deny that he was extremely nervous. He trusted Jack with all his heart and knew that Jack would do whatever he could to make him comfortable. He'd been building up to this for a while, and now it was crunch time.<p>

He took several deep breaths and steeled himself, switching off the light and going back out into the bedroom. He stopped in his tracks when he saw the captivating vision on the bed.

Jack was lying there naked, clearly thinking about tonight and what he would have to do to get Ennis to relax and make the pain minimal for both of them. Ennis was irresistibly reminded of their second night in the tent when Jack had been lying there in a similar way, waiting for him. Like that night, he would totally need Jack's lead tonight.

He stood there staring at Jack's beautiful body, and Jack sat up and rose from the bed, smiling softly. He walked up to Ennis and took his hands.

"Hey..." he whispered. "You okay?"

Ennis nodded. "Yeah...just nervous, I guess."

Jack stroked his cheek. "I know." He leaned in and kissed Ennis gently on the lips, feeling Ennis respond with quiet enthusiasm. "You ready?" he asked. Ennis nodded, gazing into Jack's eyes with a mixture of desire and fear.

Jack took his hands again and led him over to the bed, sitting them both down in the middle, Ennis nearer the head where he would eventually lie back.

Jack touched the top button of Ennis's shirt. "Is it okay?"

"Yeah..."

Jack kissed him again, distracting him as he slowly popped open the buttons, gradually moving down. He deftly slipped the material from Ennis's shoulders and tossed it to the floor. He held Ennis's face in his hands, feeling Ennis's hands on his own hips.

Jack looked deeply into Ennis's eyes, both of them aware of the final barrier between how they were now and how they hoped to be. Jack gave a small smile and pressed his hand to Ennis's chest.

"You wanna lie back?" he murmured, staring into the deep brown eyes before him. Ennis bit his lip, still nervous, but did so, slowly lowering himself back, head on the pillow and breathing deeply.

Jack followed at his own careful pace, mindful of his ribs and at the same time, not wanting to spook Ennis by clambering all over him. He kissed Ennis all over his face, at his cheeks and forehead, then finding his lips, covering him in loving kisses, trying to get him relaxed and comfortable. It was certainly working; Ennis was starting to feel his fear slowly melt away, fully trusting Jack.

Jack planted a row of kisses down his chest, stroking the fine layer of hair until he reached the belt. He glanced up at Ennis, who was watching him, both in apprehension and encouragement. He opened the buckle and slowly pulled the zipper down. Jack took hold of the jeans at the hip, ready to pull them down. He looked up again.

"Okay?"

Ennis nodded. "Do it, Jack..."

Jack nodded and pulled the jeans down, seeing to his relief that Ennis was definitely excited, a clear sign he truly wanted this. Ennis raised his hips a little to help, and soon the jeans were on the floor. Jack crawled back up his body and kissed him full on the mouth once more.

He pulled back and they looked at each other, the impending act before them registering in their minds. Jack reared up on his knees and took the lubricant from the bedside table. Ennis rested his hands on Jack's thighs, his tongue poking out at the side of his mouth.

Jack slicked himself up and put the tub back. "Okay..." he muttered, looking down at Ennis's body, figuring out what to do. He'd never been inside someone else face to face, so all he could do was draw from his experiences of what he did when Ennis was inside him. "Lift yer legs, sweetheart."

Ennis did so and Jack saw his target. He gulped with nerves and grabbed Ennis's legs, placing them around his waist, where they were wrapped tightly around him. So far, he wasn't feeling any pain. In that grip he could practically feel Ennis's nerves. He moved forward until he was just almost at his target.

"Okay? Last chance to back out if you wanna. I ain't gonna judge ya if you've changed yer mind."

Ennis shook his head, a smile on his lips. "It's okay, Jack. I wanna do this. I need you..."

Jack's heart melted at those words, and he took Ennis's hands, lacing their fingers together, Ennis bracing his elbows on the bed so Jack could lean on his hands, hopefully avoiding the possibility that he would painfully collapse when it was over.

Jack, very slowly and cautiously, pressed forward, biting his lip, unwilling to cause Ennis pain but knowing it was inescapable if they were going to do this. Ennis braced himself, feeling the pain shoot through him but knowing the pleasure would soon come; it would all be worth it in the end. Jack could see the pain on his face.

"I'm so sorry..." he whispered, hating the fact it had to hurt.

"It's okay...keep goin', Jack...please don't stop." He responded, eyes pleading with Jack not to stop.

With more slow movement, Jack finally pushed through, and they sighed in unison, eyes watering with both pain and pleasure.

With an encouraging look from Ennis, Jack started to slowly move out, then slowly back in again, always watching his lover's face for signs that the pain was becoming too much.

But they didn't come. Jack continued to watch as he picked up the pace ever so slightly, and Ennis closed his eyes, head falling back onto the pillow. Jack was mesmerised by the look on his face, what could only be described as bliss. Jack leaned down and caught his lips, a little surprised when Ennis deliberately pushed his willing tongue into his mouth. He hadn't expected such an enthusiastic response. Ennis was in some pain, not being used to this, but pleasure was drifting over him.

They broke apart and Ennis opened his eyes, they were dark with desire. "Jack, I..."

"What? What is it?" Jack asked in concern, afraid that he wanted to stop.

Instead Ennis smiled. "I love you."

Jack couldn't stop the grin spreading over his face. "Love you too, cowboy." He kept going at the same pace, not wanting to go too fast, which might hurt both of them.

Ennis's head fell back onto the pillow once more. Jack had wondered how it might feel to be inside Ennis, but nothing he could have imagined about it measured up to how it really felt. It was indescribable.

Instead of moaning and gasping as they usually did during sex, this slow, tender approach caused them to sigh instead. Their bodies pressed closer together with each smooth thrust Jack gave into his lover. Ennis lifted his head and attacked Jack's mouth with hunger.

"Oh, Jack..." he whispered blissfully. Jack ducked his head to kiss his neck, then his face, covering him in wet, loving kisses. With a few more thrusts, Jack finally found the sweet spot and pressed in. Ennis's eyes flew open. "Jack!"

With a yell, and practically crushing Jack's fingers with his own, he finally crossed the finish line, shooting over both of them. The feeling was enough to send Jack over the edge as he finally filled Ennis, finally completed him. His ribs were quite sore but he wasn't even noticing, he was completely lost in the moment.

He grabbed at Ennis's hands tighter to avoid collapsing onto his chest, which would hurt. Instead, he managed to roll off Ennis and collapse on his side of the bed, flat on his back.

Neither of them spoke, but did plenty of thinking. Ennis felt liberated at having finally achieved what he'd been so scared of, and found that he had absolutely loved this experience. It had hurt a fair bit, but the pleasure had washed over him, and that was all he could register. Sex with Jack had always been good, but this was unbelievable.

Jack meanwhile, was on cloud nine about what he had just experienced. He had finally made love to Ennis, something he'd wanted to do for ages. If it were possible, he felt even more in love with the man beside him. Something had changed between them that night, something that would change them for the better.

He looked at Ennis, who was staring at the ceiling. "Ennis...you okay?"

Ennis looked at him, eyes full of love. "Yeah...you?"

"I'm fine." They couldn't say much more right now, didn't have the energy. With one last loving smile, they squeezed each other's fingers before letting sleep claim them.

* * *

><p>Ennis woke up the next morning feeling like a million dollars. He couldn't believe that they'd finally achieved...that wonderful thing. It had been quite painful, especially at first, he couldn't deny that. But he had been well aware of the possibility, and he had so wanted to do it so they had to take the pain with the pleasure.<p>

He turned and looked at Jack, who was lying on his side facing him, dark hair falling over his face, making Ennis's stomach do strange things. Ennis turned onto his side and just lay there, watching Jack breathe in and out.

He hadn't thought he could love Jack any more than he already did, but last night had proved him wrong. He felt more in love than ever.

_There are people, _he thought to himself, _who probably go through life never findin' their soulmate. How lucky would you hafta be to find them before yer even twenty? _Surely the odds were one in a million. But here he was, lying in bed next to his, all barriers between them finally broken down.

Jack had told him that it didn't bother him that he was always on top, said he liked it that way, and he understood and accepted that he'd been too scared to let Jack lead, for his own reasons. But he couldn't deny he'd felt guilty as time had gone on. Something had changed. Now it felt different, like they were equals in the relationship. He liked this change.

What if Jack hadn't seen him duck into the alleyway? They wouldn't have got together, and he might never have seen him again. It had been too close. And he would never know how it would feel to give himself over to Jack, completely be open to him.

He couldn't think about that now. He wouldn't gain anything from it; he had what he truly wanted. He had _who_ he truly wanted, and it looked like they would be together for good. He couldn't wait for them to get started properly on their new life.

He couldn't just lie there and let Jack sleep. He wanted to interact, thank him for the night before. He shuffled forward and buried his face in Jack's neck, kissing and sucking at the skin gently.

A smile spread across Jack's face. "Well, mornin' to you too."

Ennis pulled back and Jack opened his eyes. Their wide smiles spoke volumes about their feelings right then.

"You okay?" Jack whispered. "You hurtin' any?"

"No, I'm fine," Ennis murmured back, stroking Jack's hair. "What about you? How're yer ribs?"

"Little sore, but fine."

"Good." Ennis leaned over and planted a soft kiss on Jack's beautiful lips. Jack's eyes sparkled with happiness, he felt like his heart would burst with the love he felt.

"Yer feelin' it too, ain't you?" Ennis asked. "Somethin's changed."

"Yeah..."

"I think...I think it's like...I've always been on top till last night an'...it felt like it was all one sided, ya know? Didn't feel fair, even though you said you don't mind."

"I don't." Jack replied sincerely. "I like it, an' I know you've been scared, an' I know why. I understand."

Ennis smiled in gratitude. "Yeah...well...now it feels like...we're equal, ya know? It ain't one sided no more, an' I like it. Felt real good, lettin' ya...take over."

Jack's eyes turned sorrowful. "It hurt though didn't it?"

Ennis sighed. "Yeah...a fair bit, to tell ya the truth."

"I'm sorry." Jack breathed. Ennis wrapped his arm around Jack's back.

"It don't matter. Yeah it hurt, but...it felt so good that I didn't notice after a while. Barely felt it after you got goin'." He blushed a little at his own description of Jack's thrusting.

Jack got a smile back on his face. "Really?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah...I, uh..." he looked away, fidgeting with the pillowcase. "Maybe, uh...sometime...we could do it again...like that?" he looked at Jack shyly. He had to admit he loved feeling Jack inside him, completing him. He wouldn't mind experiencing that again, and he figured that if they did it that way as regularly as the other way, he would get used to it, and maybe the pain would lessen over time.

"Really? You wanna do it again like that sometime?" Jack asked, surprised. Ennis had told him he'd enjoyed the night before, but a small part of him had feared that while he'd liked it, once was enough and he wanted to keep doing it with him inside Jack. He felt somewhat selfish for wanting a little control over their sexual activities, but he couldn't deny he would certainly like to do that again.

Ennis nodded. "Yeah...sure wouldn't mind feelin' like that again. Not fer a bit yet...but maybe in a couple days?" he asked hopefully.

Jack was stunned and relieved that the experience hadn't scared Ennis. Maybe they could really be equal in terms of sexual power after all. That would be very healthy for their relationship; it would allow it and even themselves to grow.

"Uh...sure cowboy. Whenever ya want." He nodded in surprise. They smiled at each other again, and Jack started to raise himself up, intending to get up, but Ennis pulled him back down and gently into his arms, turning Jack onto his back.

"Ennis...?" asked Jack, wondering why Ennis was acting so protective.

"Let's just stay like this fer a bit, rodeo," Ennis breathed into his ear. "Ain't goin' nowhere, right? You need yer rest."

Jack had to smile at the thinly veiled excuse. He had a feeling why Ennis wanted to hold him. He occasionally needed reassurance that Jack was really here, that this was all truly happening, and it wasn't just a dream to torment him as he prepared for his wedding back in Sage. Jack placed his own arms over Ennis's where they lay across his stomach, not so tightly as to hurt him, but tight enough to let Jack know he was feeling a little vulnerable and that he needed him. All Jack could do was love him and try to let him know that it would be like this, just like this, always. It was all he had to give.

* * *

><p>Sometime later, the two of them had showered and eaten some breakfast, before crawling back into the warm bed. After huddling close together, Jack picked up the phone and dialled his home number. Or at least, home as in the place where he was born and raised. Home as in the place he wanted to be, to live...that was with Ennis, wherever they decided to settle.<p>

Jack put the phone between them so Ennis could hear the conversation, and they put their heads together.

"Hello?"

"Hey ma, it's me."

"Jack! Thank goodness! Ennis told me what happened, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he replied reassuringly. "Just a little sore is all. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Everythin's normal here. Yer Uncle Harold ain't though. Pneumonia's back. He's back in hospital. It don't look good, Jack."

"Oh..." Jack's face screwed up in sympathy. "There any chance he's gonna beat it again?"

"It's doubtful. It looks like he ain't got long."

"Well...give him my best, okay?"

"Will do. So what are you two plannin'?"

"Uh, well...we was gonna leave Texas yesterday, but with me gettin' hurt I need to rest, so we can't really go far at the moment, ya know? I'm just glad I got Ennis." Jack smiled at Ennis as he said this, blue eyes alight with happiness. Ennis took his hand where it rested on his thigh and squeezed it.

"I am too. I'm sure glad you got someone to take care of you."

"Yeah. Hey, ma? Can I ask ya somethin'?" he twisted the phone cord awkwardly.

"Sure."

"Well...Ennis told me that when he called you, he mentioned Becky an' you went all quiet. We asked Becky why you mighta done that an' she went all quiet too. I don't get it. You both say you always liked each other when she was livin' up there, so..."

Rose was silent for a few moments. _Again with all the silence, _Ennis mused. _What the hell's goin' on?_

"Ma?"

"Uh...Jack...I did always like her. I just don't remember her all too well. I'm gettin' on now, I can't remember everyone I ever meet, sweetheart."

"She's my cousin. You gotta remember family." Jack reasoned, an expression of great confusion on his face.

"Uh, Jack? I think yer daddy's about to come in, I can hear his boots on the steps. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

Jack was slightly taken aback. Texas was an hour ahead of Wyoming, and even though his father usually came in for lunch, it was still only nine in the morning up there. He should still be out in the fields. Neither he nor Ennis were convinced by this story, but there wasn't much he could say except goodbye and tell her he'd call her some other time.

He put the phone back and turned to look at Ennis, face still full of confusion. "What...?"

Ennis sighed. "I dunno..."

Jack ran a hand through his hair in exasperation and started to get out of bed. As his legs folded up to his stomach he felt a shooting pain in his ribs. He gasped out loud and bent over double, tears stinging in his eyes.

"Jack?" Ennis looked at him in alarm. "You okay?" he asked, shuffling close and trying to look at his face.

"Ribs..." Jack choked out, feeling like they were on fire.

"Okay, lie back," said Ennis, trying not to panic as he lowered Jack back onto the bed slowly. "I'll get yer painkillers." He scrambled out of bed to the bathroom, leaving Jack breathing deeply. He got two tablets and a glass of water, bringing them around to Jack's side of the bed and sitting down on the edge next to him. He popped the pills into Jack's mouth and cupped the back of his head, raising it off the pillow as he helped Jack take some of the water. Jack swallowed and let his head collapse back onto the pillow.

"Thanks..." he breathed.

"No problem, darlin'." Ennis replied, the shock and panic wearing off. Jack opened his eyes.

"Didn't mean to scare ya." He whispered, smiling slightly.

Ennis shook his head and linked their fingers together. "As long as yer alright, that's all that matters."

"Could ya...could ya get back into bed an' uh...hold me?" Jack whispered, a little shyly.

"Don't need to ask twice." Ennis got up and went around to his side, doing as Jack requested. He tucked his arm around Jack's lower stomach, avoiding the ribs, and shuffled close, snaking his other arm under Jack's neck and across his shoulders, then linking his fingers together. He tucked his head into Jack's shoulder as Jack wrapped his arms around the one over his stomach.

They lay there in silence, listening to each other breathe and thanking their lucky stars that they had each other.

"Thank you, Ennis..." Jack murmured, turning his head to bump noses with his lover. "An' I don't just mean fer this."

Ennis smiled and kissed him softly. "I know. I wanna thank you too, an' not just fer last night." Jack nuzzled their noses together, feeling warm and happy, relishing the feeling of being in this man's strong arms.

_Well, my man's strong arms, I guess, _he thought to himself. This brought to his attention that he didn't really know how to describe their relationship. They thought of themselves as lovers and partners, that was true, but...it irked him that they couldn't get married and call each other things like "husband". The word struck him as odd. Surely they were too young to be referred to by such a term? But then again, Ennis had been planning to marry Alma, and he would have only recently turned twenty. Ennis's birthday was in just over a week, the 26th of September, and his wedding had been planned for November. Alma was still only nineteen. Surely that was too young to get married?

But then again, they came from a rural background, and it was expected of them to marry young, have children young and work until you no longer could. Once they got their own ranch they probably would work until they no longer could, but they sure couldn't get married, at least not legally, and they sure as hell weren't going to have any kids.

_I guess life don't always turn out how you expect it to, _he thought to himself.

* * *

><p>The pair of them drifted off again soon after, dreaming of ranches and stock and the sweet life they were hoping to build together. Their nap was soon interrupted by a loud knocking on the door.<p>

"Jack! Ennis! It's Becky!" her voice sounded urgent and a little panicky.

Ennis sat up in disorientation, blinking and staring at the door. Jack tried to sit up too but Ennis immediately stopped him, putting a hand on his chest.

"You stay here; I'll see what's up."

Jack relented and settled himself back. Ennis crawled out of bed and tugged his jeans on, staggering to the door and opening it.

Becky stood there, alone, an expression of distress on her face.

"Becky? What's wrong?" Ennis asked, confused and a little worried.

"Ennis, I..." she stopped when she noticed he was half naked, and that Jack was clearly naked under the sheets. Her face coloured. "Oh...I ain't interruptin' am I?"

Ennis's face went a colour to rival hers. "Oh, no, we was just sleepin'." He stammered, looking a little embarrassed.

"S'alright, Becky," Jack called from the bed. "I just can't get up cos my ribs have been hurtin'. You can come in if you wanna."

Ennis stood back to let her in and she stood in the doorway, becoming immediately aware of a dinstinctive scent in the air, near the bed. She was embarrassed at intruding their privacy like this.

"Guys, you gotta get outta Childress." She said abruptly.

"What?" said Jack, leaning on his elbows and looking at her with a puzzled expression.

"Whaddaya mean?" asked Ennis.

She sighed. "When me an' Andy were at the bar last night, he went into the bathroom an' heard some guys talkin' 'bout what happened to you." She said to Jack. "They was angry that even though you got put in hospital, you survived." She looked at Ennis. "An' they're after the guy who dragged them off him, cos it's his doin' they didn't finish the job."

"They was tryin' to kill me?" Jack asked. "I thought they just wanted to hurt me some."

"Well, that's what it sounded like when I overheard 'em the night before," Becky agreed. "Sure didn't sound like they were after killin' ya."

Ennis and Jack looked at each other, and Ennis could see in Jack's eyes the shadow of his fright when Rose had told them about their father planning to bring Alma's father up to Lightning Flat to kill them. He had to get them out of here, before the fear took over again. But with Jack still being injured, they couldn't go far.

"Yer right, Becky," he said, turning to her. "We gotta go. But Jack..." he looked at the love of his life, whose blue eyes were looking more and more frightened by the minute. "We can't go far."

"Ennis...we gotta get outta here, we gotta get away from Childress." Jack said, trying to rein in his panic and think rationally.

"We ain't goin' far with yer ribs still sore." Ennis answered bluntly. "It's my job to look after ya, Jack."

"Well...maybe we could just go to the nearest town or somethin'." Jack reasoned.

"I thought about that," said Becky. "An' I got an idea. Get yerselves to Quanah. It's almost thirty miles to the southeast, ain't that far, only half an hour away. If you get movin' you can be there for noon. Get yerselves into another motel an' lay low fer a little bit. I'm pretty sure there's a motel right near a store. Nobody but me an' Andy will know yer there."

Ennis was relieved that Becky was taking control like this; he didn't know Texas and Jack knew very little.

"Okay, we'll do that," he agreed, looking at Jack who nodded. "What 'bout you? We'll wanna see you again before we leave Texas."

"I know. When you get there, call me an' tell me where you where, where yer stayin. I'll try an' get down there to see ya."

"Okay, we'll do that."

"Alright. Meet me in about half an hour or so at the gas station on the edge of town, the one with the green roof. I wanna say goodbye before ya go."

"Sure, we'll see you there."

Becky nodded and left. Ennis turned to look at Jack, who slowly sat up properly.

"Time to go huh?" he sighed in resignation.

"Yep. C'mon, darlin'." Ennis went around to Jack's side and helped him out of bed. Jack was unable to shower, so Ennis helped him get a wash and get dressed, before taking a shower himself.

Half an hour later, they were outside the gas station, watching as Becky pulled up in an unfamiliar truck, which they assumed was Andy's.

She got out and handed them a bag of chips and drinks. "For the road." She said with a smile.

"Thanks, Becky." Jack said gratefully, giving her a hug.

"Yer welcome," she replied. "Good luck, an' I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Sure." He got back in the truck, and Ennis looked at Becky.

"Look after him, okay?" she said quietly. The look in her eyes was strange, like Jack's well-being was extremely important to her, accompanied by a tone of voice that made Ennis suspect that it wasn't just because she was Jack's cousin.

"I will..." he looked at her closely. "Last chance to tell what the deal is with you an' his ma."

_It ain't his mother that's the problem, _her mind screamed at her.

Her gaze dropped. She could no longer deny that something was wrong, but no way was she ready to tell.

"I...I can't." She whispered. She looked back up at him, hoping he would understand that she just wasn't ready to tell. It was bad enough that since they'd arrived, she'd thought about it every single day.

He knew how it felt to want to talk about something, but not feeling ready to. He decided to let it drop out of empathy.

"Alright."

She nodded gratefully. "I'll see you soon, then." She managed a small smile.

"Sure enough." They departed for their separate trucks. Ennis climbed in next to Jack, who hadn't noticed anything. He smiled at Ennis when he got in.

"Ready to go?" Ennis asked, a smile on his face.

Jack put the bag down and shuffled close to him, getting comfortable. "You bet."

Becky watched them go, her heart full of longing to tell the truth, but her head telling her it was a bad idea. Jack already hated his father, she knew that all too well. This would make it much worse.

As her and Ennis had waited to see Jack in the hospital, he'd ended up telling her about Earl and Rich, and what he'd seen. She had been shell-shocked, not only at the violence he'd been exposed to, but of what it meant, and how it connected to what she knew.

_I guess him an' Jack are more connected than they thought, _she thought to herself. She didn't remember what had happened, she had only been a baby, only a year old. But she would never forget what her parents had told her that day last year.

Earl and Rich. Those two ranchers who connected the three of them. Deep family secrets spawned from two people who fell in love, unfortunately for them at the wrong time. That love, while undeniably precious like all love, had torn the Twist family apart. If Jack found out, it might have the power to tear him and Ennis apart, especially if Ennis found out first and didn't tell him. No matter how much it ate away at her, she had to keep this to herself. Time couldn't heal all wounds.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Jack settled himself on the bed and sighed, hands over his eyes as Ennis brought the bags in. He felt worn out and he was getting a headache. Ever since they'd arrived here in Texas it had been one thing after another, they'd barely had a reprieve. Their emotions had been thrown about all over the place, up and down. He was just glad he had Ennis, so that at least he had someone to hold him up and support him.

Ennis shut the door and looked at him with pity. Jack was a good person; he didn't deserve all the bad things he'd had to live through. All he could do for him was try to make sure that nothing but good things would happen to him from now on, or at least try.

He went over to the side of the bed where Jack was lying and sat at the edge, stroking his soft cheek. Jack's eyes had been closed but now they opened slowly, and Jack gave him a weary smile. He sighed, looking up into Ennis's caring face, feeling more thankful than ever that he'd seen him duck into the alleyway.

"I know." Ennis whispered.

"I'm just glad yer here." Jack whispered back, bringing his hand up to Ennis's shoulder.

"I'm always gonna be here, darlin'." Ennis said softly, leaning down to let their lips meet, engaging in a few soft, slow kisses, their tongues just touching. The passion began to rise as Jack lifted his head up, grabbing Ennis's hands and guiding them towards his own ass.

Ennis broke the kiss. "You sure? I ain't doin' it if yer hurtin'."

"I'm fine," Jack whispered truthfully. Indeed, his ribs weren't hurting, but he sure had his sexual appetite back. He kissed Ennis again and pulled him on top of him, encouraging Ennis to straddle him. Ennis tried to keep his chest and ribs lifted a few inches away from Jack's, just in case. They continued to kiss passionately as they unbuttoned each others' shirts and pulled them off. Ennis then ducked his head to kiss Jack's neck and make his mark as they removed their jeans, throwing them in a heap on the floor. His hands slid over Jack's already sweat-glistening body, along the arms and gently over the chest. Jack loved the feeling of Ennis's hands on his chest, softly massaging the injured area.

Ennis suddenly pulled back, to Jack's displeasure. "Damn, the lube's in the bag." He hissed as he climbed off Jack unwillingly and bent over in full view of him.

"Nice view." Jack commented, savouring the splendid sight before him. Ennis fixed him with a look, mouth turned up at the corner in a smirk as he continued to dig, eventually finding the tub.

"Come on back to bed, handsome." Jack sighed lustfully, blue eyes filled with that seductive look he was so good at. Ennis chuckled and slowly climbed over Jack again, rearing up on his thighs and preparing himself as Jack watched in anticipation.

"All yers, Ennis." Jack breathed, raising his legs so as to display the treasure between. Ennis practically shivered with longing and he took hold of Jack's legs, wrapping them around his own waist and shuffling closer. Until Jack's ribs were healed they couldn't press their upper bodies together like they normally would, or really hold each other. They had to join hands and whoever was on bottom had to allow the other to lean on his hands, even if they crushed each others' fingers to avoid collapsing.

Ennis slowly pressed himself forward and slid inside, making Jack sigh with contentment. Nothing felt quite like having his man inside him. He felt complete, whole, as if Ennis was his other half physically as well as emotionally and even spiritually. Their bodies naturally fit together. He couldn't wait to find out what they might discover when they started living together properly.

Ennis leaned down and kissed him full on the mouth as he slowly started thrusting, ever mindful of Jack's ribs. He was starting to see the benefits of going slowly, and not just for the fact it didn't hurt Jack. It felt so intimate, so romantic to go slow and tender, truly making love instead of having fast wild sex. Of course they would get ravenous from time to time, they were still only young, but slower sex like this brought it to a whole new level for both of them, they could savour the moment.

Jack pressed his feet tighter to Ennis's waist, trying to bring him in further. Ennis leaned in as far as he could without their chests touching, hands gripping tightly together as he continued to thrust in, kissing Jack all over his face and neck as Jack bucked underneath him.

Ennis searched for that sweet spot inside Jack as best he could, feeling his way, finally pressing on the area and thrusting into it. Jack's eyes flew open and he gasped in ecstasy, whispering his lover's name and egging him on with enthusiasm.

With a few more desperate thrusts, Ennis finally gave Jack everything inside him. Jack climaxed almost straight after, and without thinking, let go of Ennis's hands to grab at his back. When Ennis was finally finished, he couldn't avoid collapsing straight onto Jack's chest.

Jack gasped and felt pain shooting through him, seeing little white lights before his eyes. Ennis realised with alarm what had happened and immediately got off him as Jack clutched his chest, breathing heavily, eyes closed, and face screwed up in pain.

"Jack? You okay?" Ennis asked in a panicked voice, on his knees.

Jack took a few deep breaths and opened his eyes, seeing how frightened Ennis was. "I'm okay." He breathed, trying to smile.

"I'm so sorry, Jack. I couldn't help it." He helped Jack sit up, and Jack felt the pain slowly ebbing away.

Jack looked at him and curled an arm around his shoulders. "Not yer fault, friend. I let go of yer hands without thinkin'. My fault. Don't worry 'bout it."

Ennis nodded and sighed with relief that Jack was okay. "I sure am sorry, though."

"I know," replied Jack as he pulled Ennis into a hug. "I know."

* * *

><p>Late that night, the two of them were settling down underneath the covers and curling around each other, Ennis spooning into Jack. They'd spent all day in the motel, talking about what had happened so far, trying to guess what secrets Becky might hold, and talking to her and Rose on the phone. They were going in circles; neither Rose nor Becky was inclined to talk about what was going on.<p>

Ennis shuffled further back into Jack's body as sleep claimed them.

_He ran at breakneck speed down the road, praying that he wasn't too late. He would never forget how much he'd hurt the love of his life, and he hoped with all his heart that he would get the chance to fix things._

_He entered the fields and stopped, catching his breath, looking around, trying to find him. He took a few more steps; eyes peeled, then saw a figure on the horizon. Black hat, dark blue shirt, the figure was walking slowly through the field, head bowed. He tried to call his name but no sound came out._

_To his horror, he saw three men run up behind the figure unnoticed, wielding tire irons, snarling like dogs as one of them hit the figure on his back, knocking him to the ground as his hat flew off. _

_Panic filled him and he tried to run over to pull them off, but while his legs moved, he wasn't getting any closer. He couldn't do anything...except watch helplessly. All three of them were on his other half, tire irons going up and down, blood spurting over the grass, the figure crying out with pain._

_The men ran off towards the horizon and he could finally move again, running over to the still figure lying in the grass._

_But he was too late. The blue eyes were half shut and the face was almost unrecognisable underneath the congealed blood. He frantically grabbed the wrist: no pulse. He felt his heart being torn open by pain as he surveyed the scene before him. He'd wanted to make amends, fix things after being no longer able to stand them. But now he would never get the chance. _

Ennis woke abruptly, eyes flying open and breathing heavily. Jack could feel him shaking and rose up onto his elbow to look down at Ennis's face.

"Ennis? You okay?" he touched Ennis's shoulder as it shook. Ennis couldn't speak and he couldn't get the image of Jack's bloody face out of his mind, it seemed to swim before him in the darkness.

Jack sighed. He had his suspicions that Ennis's nightmares were more than they appeared; they were more distressing than he was letting on. He'd let Ennis build up the courage to tell him in his own time.

"Get yerself some water." Jack whispered in his ear. "Calm yerself down." Ennis nodded and reluctantly removed himself from Jack's warm embrace, staggering to the bathroom and trying to clear his head of that image. Jack watched him go with a sadness to see him like this. They were closer now than they had ever been and he wanted Ennis to tell him the truth about these nightmares, but had stood back out of respect.

After taking some water and trying to get his heart rate to return to normal, Ennis returned to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, leaning over the side with his head in his hands. He knew Jack wanted to know what he'd seen, and he wanted to tell him, but didn't know if he had the guts.

Jack sat himself up and kneeled behind Ennis, wrapping his arms around Ennis's stomach and nuzzling into his neck, feeling Ennis relax into his touch.

"You wanna tell me the truth about these nightmares?" Jack whispered. "I know they ain't flashbacks. I know what you saw in that ditch was pretty scary but...I don't think it'd affect ya like this, ya know? Please tell me, Ennis. Let me in. Even if I can't help...I wanna be there for ya."

Ennis sighed in resignation. "The nightmare in Signal," he started in a low voice. "It wasn't a flashback of seein' Earl. I was back at that ditch, but...when I looked, I didn't see him, I saw..." he hoped Jack would understand. He still couldn't bring himself to say the words.

Jack understood and squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his heart ache for Ennis and how badly he'd been affected. "It's okay," he murmured in Ennis's ear, holding him tight. "I get it."

"I couldn't tell ya then. Thought if I did...it'd come true." he whimpered, feeling Jack running his hands over his chest.

"S'alright...shh..."

Ennis took a few gulping breaths. "This one...I was runnin' through a field...tryin' to find ya. I think I'd argued with ya, said somethin' I shouldn't an' hurt ya. Wanted to tell ya I was sorry...but when I got to ya...there was three guys there. With...with tire irons." He choked out, unable to carry on.

Jack saw he was incapable of saying anything else and he didn't want to make Ennis suffer any more. It was a measure of how much Ennis loved him that he was having these horrible visions. That was all he needed to know.

He turned Ennis around to face him and pulled him close, rocking him back and forth, feeling the hot tears on his skin and hearing Ennis sob in his ear.

"S'alright...let it out..."

Gradually, Ennis got himself under control and pulled back, taking deep breaths. He slowly met Jack's eyes, his own filled with tears.

Jack was at a loss as to how he could help. "Tell me what you need me to do, cowboy. I wanna help, but I dunno how. You gotta meet me halfway."

"Could ya...maybe..." he sniffed. "Jack...please promise me...yer never gonna leave me. I'm gonna try to keep ya safe, but...don't go leavin' me fer someone else." His lip trembled.

"Oh Ennis..." Jack sighed. He brought Ennis's hand to his chest, over his heart as he had done back in Childress.

"Feel this? It belongs to you. It's only in this body to keep me alive. It don't belong to me no more. It's belonged to you since Brokeback. An' it always will, I swear." He stroked Ennis's cheek, wiping the tears away.

Ennis gave a weak smile and brought Jack's hand to his own heart. "Right back atcha, bud." He choked. Jack shuffled and lay back down in bed, and when Ennis followed Jack pulled him close once more, arm across him protectively. Nothing could come between them, not if he had anything to say about it.

* * *

><p>The next day, Ennis had gone out to get them some food and supplies, figuring that it was a good idea for Jack to spend as much time as possible lying down so he could recover. Jack disliked being cooped up in a room all day, but he was touched that Ennis had taken it upon himself to take care of things so he could rest. That was what being in a relationship was about, he figured.<p>

He found a way to spend the time. He knew Ennis's birthday was a week away and although Ennis never made a fuss, after nearly twenty years of thinking he didn't matter much, Jack wanted to do something to celebrate it. It would be the first birthday that they'd spent together for either of them, and it was a special occasion. He figured they could maybe go out for dinner, have a nice steak or something. Then when they got back, he'd give Ennis an even better celebration.

The main concern was the present. He'd never had much money before, so birthdays hadn't really been filled with presents, even as a kid. But now he had a little money and wanted to get Ennis something nice, something he'd like, but that was also practical. Something he didn't already have that he would use. But what? What would make a good present for Ennis?

Maybe a shirt? He had stolen the other after all, even though Ennis understood why. They'd agreed not to separate the shirts and wear them, or wash them. It was a reminder of what had happened to them and who they were together, it wouldn't be right to wash them or wear them. No, those shirts would be kept as a memento of what they'd shared and how far they'd come since that fight. So maybe he could buy Ennis a new one. He'd sure appreciate it.

But it didn't seem personal enough. He wanted something special to give to Ennis. He knew that Ennis would love whatever he bought because it would be from him, Jack. But that didn't mean he couldn't make the effort. He wanted to make it special and meaningful.

He thought back over the last few months, all the time he'd known, and for most of it, loved Ennis. He had fond memories of their first meeting, despite his own inner turmoil at the time. Ennis had been painfully shy, a world away from how he was now, at least with him. Hadn't said a word as they'd been briefed by Aguirre about the job, and those stupid rules he'd made them follow. Ennis's only real movement had been when Aguirre had thrown him the old watch.

That gave him pause for thought. Ennis didn't have a watch, and every time he'd wanted to know the time, he'd had to ask Jack, forgetting that Jack didn't wear a watch either. Maybe he could buy Ennis a watch for his birthday. He would use it, no doubt about that, and he figured he could find a nice one in town, hopefully not too expensive.

His thoughts were interrupted by Ennis returning, a few bags of food and other stuff in his hand. His normally blank face broke into a grin at the sight of Jack, who rose from the bed and padded over to him, barefoot.

Ennis put the bags down and turned towards Jack. "Miss me?" he rumbled, a smirk on his face.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Jack replied as he pulled Ennis close for a kiss. "So, whatcha get?" he asked, looking down at the bags.

"Got us some food, sandwiches an' stuff, ya know? An' some beers. Got some new blades for our razors, stuff like that."

"Great." Jack smiled. He got that pleased feeling that his man was taking care of things so he could get his strength back. He knew in his heart he would do the same if it were Ennis in his position.

"Oh an' I, uh...got us some more...ya know." Ennis said, blushing slightly and gesturing to the bed.

Jack grinned. "Gotcha."

"So whaddaya wanna do now?" Ennis asked, looking at him.

"Uh, well...I was kinda hopin'...we could talk fer a bit, ya know? In bed? Maybe get the beers and some food?" Jack asked.

"Sure, get back in." Ennis started rifling through the bags as Jack got back into bed and pulled the pillows up. Ennis joined him and handed him a sandwich and a beer, which he took gratefully.

"Hey," he murmured, looking at Ennis and holding out his beer, a smile on his face.

Ennis grinned and brought his own beer over to clink with Jack's. Jack had awakened so much in him; so much he hadn't even known existed. He was a completely different person to how he used to be, he was happier in himself than he'd ever been, and he couldn't thank Jack enough for it.

"So, whaddaya wanna talk about?" he asked as they started their little meal.

Jack swallowed and looked thoughtful. "Well...before ya got back, I was thinkin' 'bout yer birthday. We should celebrate."

Ennis shifted uncomfortably. "Jack...I ain't one fer celebratin' birthdays. Ya know me, don't want no fuss."

"Ennis...this is the first of either of our birthdays that we'll be spendin' together. Sorta special, doncha think? An' ya know...we celebrate our birthdays together...it means we're growin' old together..." Jack whispered, a loving smile on his lips.

Ennis hadn't thought of it like that, and Jack, with amusement, knew it.

"Well..." he mumbled. "When ya say it like that...I guess it is special. I wanna grow old with ya, Jack." He looked up into Jack's eyes, a smile playing on his own lips and his deep brown eyes alight with happiness, he always got that feeling when Jack said something particularly sweet to him. "So what were ya thinkin'?"

"Well...I thought maybe we'd go out, somewhere quiet, have a steak or somethin', ya know? Then when we get back here..." his eyes took on a seductive look. "You can unwrap yer present."

Ennis went slightly red. "I ain't gonna say no to that, darlin'."

* * *

><p>The next day, Becky came down to Quanah to spend some time with them, and told them that while she and Andy were still hearing people talk about the attack on Jack, they were having no luck finding them, so they were now safe.<p>

This came as a relief to Ennis. Jack needed to rest as his ribs healed and the last thing he needed were people trying to hunt him down and hurt him. That protective surge he'd felt back in Wyoming, that need to look after Jack was stronger than ever.

Becky's presence with them in Quanah gave Jack the opportunity to find Ennis a birthday present without him finding out. He knew Ennis would not have let him into town on his own so soon, and he didn't want Ennis to worry about him, so he invited Becky to come and help him find something. He'd pretty much decided on a watch, especially since he'd pointed out to Ennis that they would be growing old together. A watch would be a perfect way of symbolising this.

He and Becky were walking through town, looking through shop windows trying to find one that was nice but not overly expensive. Ennis, meanwhile, was back at the motel talking to Cecilia. K.E. had apparently been in touch with her and asked how Ennis was, which gave Ennis hope that maybe he and his brother could reconcile.

Becky was enjoying spending time with Jack, even if she couldn't get the truth out of her head. It screamed at her every time either of them mentioned their family. She tried to push it to the back of her mind.

Jack stopped outside a second hand shop and peered into the window. There were a few watches on display, inexpensive but seemingly in good condition. Becky walked up to him and looked over his shoulder.

"See anythin' you like?" she asked.

"Uh...well...they're all nice, but..." he trailed off. He wanted it to be something special...but to tell the truth, he wasn't sure was he looking for in this watch he wanted to buy Ennis.

"Well, let's keep lookin'." She started to move away, but then something caught Jack's eye.

"Hey, wait..." he turned back to peer into the window again. There was a watch on a shelf near the window, and he could just make out the image of a horse on its face.

"I think I found somethin'." he called to Becky, and they went into the dusty old shop, waiting for their eyes to adjust to the darkness that greeted them.

Jack went over to the corner where he'd seen the watch and he couldn't believe his eyes. It wasn't just a horse he could see on the face; it was the horse and rider, the trademark of the state of Wyoming. He didn't know how it had ended up here in Texas, but it was perfect. A reminder of their home, the place where they were both born and raised, but most importantly, the place where they had met. He knew straightaway it was what he wanted. He turned to see Becky smiling in a knowing way.

The owner walked over to them. "Can I help you, sir?"

"Uh, yeah...this watch..." Jack gestured. "That's the symbol of Wyomin', right? How'd it end up here?"

"It is indeed Wyoming's registered trademark, been here a few months now, came in with a bunch of things from someone travelling through, needed the money. Are you interested in buying it?"

"I sure am, birthday gift for my buddy." Surely there was nothing wrong with buying a gift for a friend?

"Very well. This watch costs $15, if you want it."

"Okay, I'll take it." Jack smiled. The assistant took the watch from the shelf and carried it over to the counter, placing it in a small wooden box and wrapping it up. Jack was thoroughly pleased with himself for finding such a perfect gift for his lover. Ennis would love this. Becky could see it in his face how happy he was, and she couldn't help but smile with affection.

Jack paid for the watch and they left the shop. Jack pulled the box out and opened it to admire the present. It was in very good condition, and he knew he'd found the perfect present.

"I bet he'll love it." Becky smiled, linking her arm through his as they continued to walk.

"Yeah, he will."

He and Becky took leave of each other and she started driving back to Childress, promising to call soon. Jack headed back to the motel and opened the door to see Ennis dozing on the bed. Jack's heart leapt at how peaceful and beautiful he looked, curled up, hugging the pillow with his hat and boots off.

He carefully put the bag within his own, trying not to make too much noise, and carefully sank onto the bed behind Ennis, trying not to disturb him. But it didn't work. Ennis stirred and turned onto his back.

"Jack...?" he said groggily. Jack smiled and snuggled close to him.

"Hey cowboy," he whispered. "Miss me?"

"Mmm..." Ennis turned to face Jack and they started kissing slowly and softly, enjoying the close physical presence of each other.

"You get what you wanted?" Ennis asked.

Jack smiled. "I sure did. How'd it go with Cecilia?"

Ennis's eyes lowered. "She's fine, but...K.E.'s been asking after me, an'...I think he might be comin' round. I mean...I don't think he'll ever accept it, but..."

"Yer still his brother," Jack said quietly. "No matter how much he might hate you bein' with me, he can't forget yer still family."

"Yeah...I don't care if he hates me. Nothin's gonna stop me wantin' to be with you." He gave a little smile. "Yer stuck with me, Jack."

Jack grinned. "Good. An' yer stuck with me. Fer good."

"I can live with that. How's Becky?"

"She seems alright...but she clams up whenever I mention my parents. I don't get it."

Ennis sighed. He disliked keeping things from Jack. "Listen...when she saw us off at the gas station, I asked her again what was up with her an' yer ma. She didn't say nothin' was wrong like she has been, but...she said she couldn't say."

"So somethin' is wrong, then." Jack looked puzzled.

Ennis nodded. "Dunno what though. An' neither of them are gonna say. I dunno what to do."

"Me neither...guess we're just gonna hafta wait an' see what happens."

"Guess so, darlin'. Now...where were we?" he asked, his eyes turning dark with desire. Jack could never resist that look. But then all thoughts were forgotten as they resumed their kissing.

* * *

><p>Becky stood at the counter in her family's kitchen preparing lunch. Her father was in the living room and her mother was out shopping. She chopped the tomatoes and washed the lettuce, thinking about Ennis and Jack, and about what she knew. She so badly wanted to tell them but she wasn't sure how they would react, especially Jack. He would hate his father even more if he knew, and he would be shocked at how she connected to all of this.<p>

The phone rang in the living room and she heard her father answer it. She wasn't prepared for what came.

"John? That you? What's goin' on?"

Becky paused, listening intently.

"Yeah Jack's down here, for the rodeo. At least, he was. Got attacked an' put in hospital, dunno where he is now. Why?"

_He knows about Ennis, _Becky suddenly realised. _He's gonna tell him._

"Uh, I dunno, I think he was here with a friend from back home, didn't see him to be honest."

Becky grimaced, waiting for the inevitable.

"He _what_? Queer? What you talkin' about?"

Becky bit her lip. She had to warn them as soon as she could.

Her father was silent for a few minutes, clearly digesting the information. "Well..." he started. "It's like I said, I dunno where he is. I'll ask Becky, she might know." Becky's hand slipped, almost removing several of her fingers. "Okay." He hung up, and she could hear his footsteps heading towards the kitchen.

She kept her back turned away, bracing herself. Her father walked up to her. "Becky?"

She turned to face him, a big, fake smile on her face, playing her 'daddy's little girl' card. "Yes, Daddy?" she said sweetly.

"You know how yer cousin Jack's been down here for the rodeo? You said you'd seen him?"

She tried to look like she was thinking intensely. "Um, sure. Saw him at the diner the day before the barrel racin'. Why?"

"Was he with anybody? A guy?"

"Hmm...I dunno, Daddy. Maybe. I think he mighta been a friend from back home."

"Huh...they left though, didn't they? You know where they've gone?" he asked, peering into her face, trying to detect any lies.

"Uh, yeah I think they did. I think...I think they said somethin' 'bout Utah." It was the first place she could think of off the top of her head that wasn't somewhere they planned on going.

He bought it. "Utah...right."

"Why? What's wrong, Daddy?" she asked innocently.

"Well I guess you'll find out anyway...that guy and Jack...they're queer. That guy's Jack's queer boyfriend." He said darkly.

She tried to look shocked. "Oh my...really? But they just seemed friends. Never woulda guessed."

"Well there it is. An' that was Jack's father on the phone, my brother. He wants to know where they are. But I guess if they're goin' to Utah, we ain't gonna see 'em again."

"Guess not, Daddy."

He left the kitchen and she breathed a sigh of relief that she'd managed to keep them safe for a little longer. They would have to leave Texas soon. She knew they would be celebrating Ennis's birthday here tomorrow, and then she figured they would probably leave the day after. She had to at least warn them that her father was looking for them. This would also be her last chance for a while to tell them what she knew, and it was driving her mad. She just couldn't tell them. The memory of what had happened was undoubtedly painful for Jack's mother, her husband was alive but she had lost him a long time ago through no fault of her own.

She knew Ennis's ex-fiancée Alma would be feeling hurt, and that was an unfortunate side effect of Ennis and Jack's love. Just the same as her aunt's hurt was a product of Earl and Rich's love. Love was never smooth sailing, and in such circumstances people were bound to be hurt, families could get torn apart. Theirs had been.

She heard her father leave the house and immediately went to the phone, dialling the number Jack had given her.

Ennis picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey Ennis, it's Becky."

"Hey...everythin' okay?"

"Yeah, I uh...just wanted to wish ya happy birthday for tomorrow."

She could just picture him blushing. "Uh, well thanks."

"Jack tells me you're goin' out fer dinner." She tried to keep her voice pleasant and steady.

"Yeah...gonna get a steak or somethin', ya know? So how're you?"

She gulped. "I...I'm fine, thanks."

"Still not up to tellin' us what's wrong?" he kept his voice lowered.

She took a few breaths, so wanting to spill it out but not having the courage. "I'm sorry..." she whispered.

She heard Ennis sigh. "S'alright. In yer own time, okay? Must be pretty bad if it's making you clam up like this."

"Uh huh...well..."

"So...talk soon, okay? I reckon Jack'll want to talk to ya."

"Where is he?"

"He's right here, sleepin'." She heard the affection in his voice. He was probably looking at Jack as he said this. The thought of how close they were and how strong their love was warmed her heart.

"Okay. I'll talk to him soon."

"Sure 'nough."

She hung up and her head fell into her hands in despair. She didn't know how much longer she could keep this bottled up.

Ennis put the receiver back and settled back down next to Jack, who shuffled closer in his sleep, head tucked into the space between Ennis's neck and shoulder. Ennis smiled and pulled him close, arm around his back.

Jack had pointed out that the fact they would be celebrating birthdays together meant they would be growing old together. He had to admit he hadn't thought about that, but thinking of it now made his heart swell. Living with and loving Jack until the end of his days. That would be worth trying to work past his fears. That life would be worth whatever they had to go through to get it.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Ennis's birthday finally arrived and he and Jack were busy getting ready to go out. Ennis was in the shower and Jack was busy putting the box containing the watch into his jacket pocket. He was pleased with his success at finding the perfect gift and couldn't wait to give it to him. And he couldn't wait until they got back for an even better present. He sat on the end of the bed waiting for Ennis to emerge, thinking about their future. They'd decided to stay for a couple more days for Jack to recuperate as much as possible before driving the long distance back to Colorado, thinking that it was where they were going to settle.

If Jack was honest with himself, he was having second thoughts about them living in Colorado. It was right in between Wyoming and Texas after all, the two states where they had made enemies. It felt like they would be boxed in, enemies on either side. They probably wouldn't feel safe. He knew he needed to discuss this with Ennis, but not tonight. No, tonight was about them celebrating Ennis's birthday and having fun together. God knows they deserved it.

His thoughts were switched off by Ennis emerging from the bathroom, freshly showered and shaved, and looking very handsome. Jack's stomach was doing strange things at the sight. He stood up, grinning, and Ennis gave him a funny smile.

"What?"

Jack wordlessly walked over to him and kissed him warmly, hands on his shoulders.

"Just you." He murmured against Ennis's lips. Ennis smiled, stroking Jack's cheek.

"So...whaddaya got planned fer us?"

Jack reached down and took his hands, twining their fingers together. "Well, we're gonna go get us a steak, an' I got a present for ya. Then when we get back..." he whispered, leaning in to kiss Ennis below his jawline. "I got another present for ya."

"Mmm. Sounds like a plan, darlin'."

A little later, they were in a booth right in the corner of a small diner. It wasn't deserted but it wasn't crowded either, and there was nobody sitting near that corner, guaranteeing them some privacy.

They ordered their meals and started talking quietly, about Brokeback, about themselves and about the future, whatever it held.

"So, are we goin' with the cow an' calf operation?" asked Jack, sipping his beer.

Ennis thought for a moment. "Yeah I guess, if you still wanna. 'Course, depends on how the ranch is set out. Gotta be set out the right way for that."

"Yeah...we'll hafta find somewhere with some land, I guess. What about...what about until we get enough money fer a place? I know we're gonna get jobs, but...where we gonna live?"

"I dunno, bud... but if we can't find nowhere goin' cheap...we'll hafta just live in yer truck."

"Yeah I guess." said Jack, sighing in resignation.

Their steaks arrived and the talk turned to some of their best memories from Brokeback.

"Remember when you knocked my hat off? An' I went chasin' after ya, an' we fell over?" Jack said, grinning like a kid.

"'Course," replied Ennis. "Some things you just can't forget. Was kinda fun, huh?"

"Sure was. What about the day when I was pretendin' to rodeo, an' you was laughin' at me?"

"Yeah...didn't you say somethin' 'bout wavin' to the girls in the stands?"

Jack smiled. "I made that up so I didn't freak ya out. I was wavin' to the boys in the stands!"

"You miss that?" Ennis asked, eyes suddenly clouded with worry.

"Oh, sweetheart, no. Never again. I got the man I want." Jack said reassuringly. Ennis's eyes cleared and he smiled, blushing slightly.

The meals were finished and they pushed their plates aside. Jack was suddenly nervous. "Alright, cowboy, time fer present number one."

Ennis couldn't keep the grin off his face. He'd told Jack not to make a fuss, but tried to push his stubbornness away; telling himself that it was what couples should do on birthdays and Christmas.

Jack reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the wooden box, hands shaking slightly. He placed in on the table in front of Ennis's hands.

"Here ya go, hope ya like it." He said nervously, biting his lip.

Ennis took the box and opened it, a wave of shock and pleasure washing over him. It was a beautiful watch, brown strap, white glass face with-

He looked up. "Is this...?"

Jack nodded. "The horse an' rider. Registered trademark of Wyomin'. Thought it was perfect soon as I saw it."

"Oh God, Jack...thank you..." he felt his throat closing up with emotion, shaking his head and smiling as he took the watch from the box, examining it. It was beautiful. He couldn't believe that Jack would do something like this for him. All from love.

_He really does love ya, you grumpy bastard, _he thought to himself happily. He looked up into Jack's beloved face, and without any hesitation, only pausing to make sure nobody could see them, he leaned forward and kissed him full on the mouth. It was only for a few seconds but Jack was stunned and delighted.

"Guess you like it, huh?" he asked.

"I sure do. Thank you Jack, it's...it's really somethin'."

"I uh...I got it cos...remember what I said 'bout us growin' old together? I thought a watch would be a good way of remindin' us of that, ya know?"

Ennis nodded, feeling as though his heart would burst. "Where'd you get it?"

"Second hand shop in town. The owner said it came in with a bunch of stuff from someone travellin' through. I thought it was perfect 'cos...Wyomin' ain't just the place where we was both born an' raised. It's the place we met, cowboy," his voice dropped to a whisper. "It's where you an' me started, an' that'll never change, wherever we end up. I wanted somethin' that, no matter where we go, would remind us of that place. Our place. Brokeback."

"Aw, darlin'..." Ennis could hardly speak. He had to admit he'd never thought about that, but now, hearing Jack talk about it, it made perfect sense. This watch would remind them of how their relationship had started.

Jack's hands twitched. "Can I...?" he asked, gesturing to the watch.

Ennis smiled widely. "Sure." He extended his arm and gave the watch to Jack. He'd been about to point out that he was capable of putting a watch on, but then realised it wasn't about that. Jack _wanted _to do it.

Jack fixed the watch to Ennis's wrist and clasped his hand. He met Ennis's eyes, identical grins on their faces.

"So..." he started. "Guess we're all done here. Ready fer present number two?" he asked mischievously, eyes sparkling. Ennis squeezed his hand.

"You bet."

* * *

><p>Over the last few days, Jack had been debating with himself what they would do tonight; they had an ever-growing repertoire of lovemaking options, especially since Jack had taken a turn at being on top. He'd finally decided what he wanted to do, provided that Ennis was happy to go along with it. Jack had a feeling he would.<p>

They slowly walked into the room, Jack behind with his arms around Ennis's stomach, nuzzling into his neck. He turned Ennis around and removed both their hats, sitting him on the end of the bed, leaning down to kiss him warmly, undoing Ennis's shirt and deftly removing it, then throwing it to the floor. Ennis brought his hands around to Jack's ass but Jack gently prised them off.

"Hang on, cowboy," he whispered, cupping Ennis's face with both hands. "Got a special treat for ya. Close yer eyes." Ennis relented and did so, hands on the bed by his sides, a bit of a grin on his face.

Jack dug in his bag and retrieved his bandana and a length of rope, shivering with anticipation. Bondage was a pretty much alien concept for both of them, but Jack had thought about it and pondered what it might feel like to be tied up like that, being pleasured by a lover and completely at their mercy. He had to admit it turned him on. He knew it might be a while before Ennis was prepared to do it to him, but he was more than willing to try it himself.

He knelt on the bed behind Ennis and leaned in. "Okay. There's somethin' I wanna try. I know we ain't never done this before but I think yer gonna like it. You trust me, sweetheart?" he whispered.

"I trust ya, darlin'." Ennis whispered back. He didn't have a clue what Jack might be planning, but after letting Jack top him for the first time he could fully place his trust within him.

Jack bit his lip nervously as he took the bandana and wrapped it around Ennis's eyes, tying it gently yet firmly at the back.

"Jack...?"

"Is it okay? Let me know if it scares ya or anythin'."

"No, I kinda like it...but...what the hell?" he asked in an amused voice.

Jack placed his hands on Ennis's shoulders, kissing the nape of his neck. "Just somethin' I wanted us to try. Is it okay if I do yer hands, too?"

Completely nonplussed, not having the slightest idea where this was going, Ennis simply sighed. "I ain't got a clue what yer plannin', Twist, but go ahead." He brought his arms around to his back, where Jack made a loose knot, careful not to tie it too tight.

"Okay..." he got off the bed and dropped to his knees in front of Ennis, having a feeling that his efforts would be appreciated. "Time fer yer second present, birthday boy." He rose up and fiddled with Ennis's belt buckle, wasting no time as he started undoing the buttons.

Ennis immediately saw where this was going and shivered with arousal. He didn't know where the hell Jack had learnt about stuff like this but he loved what was going on.

"Stand up a sec." Ennis did so and Jack pulled his jeans and boots off, seeing the full effect that his actions were having on his lover. He grinned at how obviously excited Ennis was. He pushed him back down onto the bed, and immediately went to work, wrapping his warm mouth around Ennis's ever-growing erection and his arms around his waist.

"Oh God, Jack..." Ennis whispered as Jack worked him over with that multitalented mouth, no hesitation, just tongue and lips giving him attention. Jack made humming noises to tease him, the vibration sending volts through his body, making him shudder. Jack looked up into his face without breaking rhythm and saw that look of pure bliss, the one Ennis got on his face sometimes, the one that let Jack know he was doing something right.

Ennis gave a violent shudder and released into Jack's mouth, Jack holding onto his hips tightly as he took it all. When it was over he stood back up and kissed Ennis on the mouth, knowing Ennis would be able to taste himself on his lips, a turn-on for both of them.

"Jack...that was...well..." Ennis said breathlessly. Jack giggled a little and caressed his face.

"You up fer more?" he whispered, hot breath tickling Ennis's ear, making him hard all over again.

"Sure."

"Alright. I'm gonna undo yer hands, but keep the bandana on just fer now. An' don't turn 'round till I tell ya."

"Gotcha..."

Jack knelt back on the bed behind Ennis and undid the rope, throwing it onto the floor, where it was quickly joined by his own shirt and boots. He crawled up to the head and sat up facing Ennis, who under Jack's instruction had kept his back turned.

"Alright, take off the bandana an' turn around here, handsome." He said, placing on hand on his stomach and gripping the headboard with the other.

Ennis did so and turned, eyes widening at the sight that awaited him. Jack half-naked, arms and legs splayed out seductively, blue eyes a little dark with temptation written all over his face.

Ennis just stared, making Jack grin sideways. "Come on, I told ya you could unwrap yer present. You want a piece of this, right?" he asked in a light voice, running his hand over his chest.

Like a moth to a flame, Ennis crawled up to Jack, an expression somewhere between wonder and desire on his face, mouth slightly open. A shiver ran through both of them as he got nearer.

Ennis leaned over Jack, thankfully remembering to avoid touching his ribs, and they kissed passionately, Jack's hands coming around Ennis's back, Ennis holding him at his neck. No matter what may come their way as they started to form their life together, one thing was certain: nothing and nobody could break this connection between them, this bond.

"Oh, Jack..." Ennis whispered, face buried in Jack's neck. _So beautiful, _he thought to himself.

"Ennis..." Jack whispered as he tilted his head back, feeling as Ennis made his mark on Jack's neck. He didn't mind Ennis branding him like this. He was Ennis's anyway, always would be. And he knew Ennis was his.

Jack's jeans were off in the blink of an eye, Ennis taking great pleasure in stripping him. Without letting go of Jack's neck, Ennis stretched his arm out to the side, taking the lube as Jack passed it to him, shuffling down onto his back underneath Ennis. He finally let go and reared up onto his knees, preparing himself. Jack breathed deeply, watching his every move with those deep blue sapphires. Ennis threw the tub at random onto the floor in a hurry, which turned Jack on even more if that were possible.

"Ennis..." Jack whispered. "You wanna try...gettin' closer?" His ribs were a little stronger than they had been, and if Ennis pressed gently onto him he figured it would be okay. He wanted Ennis to hold him as they made love, he'd missed that.

Ennis looked into his eyes for a few moments. "Okay..." he shuffled forward and slid into Jack, making Jack's head fall back onto the pillow as he sighed in ecstasy. Ennis felt Jack wrap his legs around his waist and very gently lowered himself down onto Jack's chest, carefully, inch by inch.

"You okay?" he asked in concern. Jack opened his eyes.

"I think so...it don't really hurt..."

"Alright..." Ennis pressed a little closer and held Jack in his arms, their bodies tangling together as he began to slowly thrust, giving Jack everything he could, telling him with actions how much he loved him.

The movement was slow and sensuous, both of them with their minds totally focussed on the man in their arms and their hearts. They kissed as they had their mutual release, lips and tongues wrapped together until it was over. Jack quickly took hold of Ennis's shoulders so he wouldn't collapse onto him. He wasn't yet strong enough for that.

Ennis regained his senses and pulled out, somewhat reluctantly, rolling onto his back on his side of the bed, sighing.

Jack turned to look at him, smiling with exhaustion. "Happy birthday, cowboy."

Ennis met his eyes. "Thanks, darlin'." He whispered, clasping their hands together. Jack pulled the covers over them both and they huddled together, facing each other, gladly falling into the open arms of sleep.

The last thought Ennis had before he fell asleep was that today had been the most special and wonderful birthday he had ever had, all thanks to the man lying with him, face buried in his chest. And as he wrapped his arms around Jack, he suddenly became aware that he was still wearing the watch.

* * *

><p>Early the next morning, they were both shaken awake by the sound of the phone ringing. Jack sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes as Ennis picked up the receiver.<p>

"Hello?"

"Ennis, it's Becky. I'm sorry to call so early, but..."

"It's okay," he yawned. "What's up?"

"I got some bad news..."

That got his attention, and he nudged Jack to get his. Jack looked at him in confusion.

"What's wrong, Becky?" Jack's brow furrowed.

"Jack's dad called my dad last night, remember they're brothers? He wanted to know if Jack's been down here, an' my dad told him he has."

Ennis's heart started thumping. John was looking for Jack. His brother had some idea of where Jack was. That was a bad omen. "Oh God..." his blood boiled at the memory of what John had tried to do to him and Jack.

"An' that ain't all," Becky continued, voice a little shaky. "Jack's dad told him 'bout you. About you an' Jack."

"So he knows...an' now he's lookin' fer us..." Jack could only hear Ennis's side of the conversation, but he didn't like the look on Ennis's face.

"Ennis...he asked me if I knew where you are. I told him that you mentioned movin' to Utah. First place I could think of. He don't know yer in Quanah."

"Well that's somethin', I guess...least we don't gotta get away right now. Jack still needs his rest."

"I know. All I'm sayin' is...watch yerselves. Keep an eye out just in case, alright?"

"Will do. Thanks, Becky." He hung up and relayed to Jack what was going on.

"So now they think we're goin' to Utah?" Jack asked.

"Yep. Good job we ain't. We're goin' to Colorado, ain't we?"

Jack fidgeted. "Ennis, I...I been thinkin' 'bout that...you think it's a good idea to live there? We'll have enemies on either side of us...I dunno about you, but...I don't think we'd be safe." He looked up into Ennis's face, looking worried.

"Thank God," Ennis said, relieved. "Jack, I...I been thinkin' the same, I just didn't know you was too, I thought you still wanted to, so..."

Jack let out a nervous laugh and stretched his arms out, allowing Ennis to pull him into his arms.

A little later, they were up and shuffling around the room, bouncing ideas for locations to settle off each other.

"Montana?" offered Jack.

Ennis looked dubious. "I dunno...it's just above Wyomin'...a bit close, doncha think? An' I know ya wanna keep in touch with Becky, an' she's all the way down here. What about Kansas? That's a bit further out but still close enough to visit Becky, Cecilia an' yer mama."

Jack considered this. "I guess, but...God, I just don't know..."

To try and make a decision, they dug out a map of North America and sat on the end of the bed with it, studying it and trying to work out their best options. The main problem seemed to be that they didn't know how the people in any of these states would welcome them, if at all, or if they would be hostile. These people could make their lives very difficult.

An hour later, they were no closer to making a decision, and they were getting frustrated.

"Well, we gotta pick somewhere!" said Jack heatedly. "Can't stay in this motel room for the rest of our lives."

"I know, but we gotta face facts, we don't know nothin' 'bout these places. We know how people can be 'bout guys like us, an' we can't keep runnin' from 'em, Jack. You know how it scares me of somethin' happenin'."

"I thought you knew what you was signin' up for." muttered Jack.

"What?"

"I told ya it was gonna be hard, were ya not listenin'?" he gave Ennis a hard look. Ennis tried not to lose his temper, he knew Jack wouldn't be like this if they weren't so scared.

"I knew it would be," he replied calmly. "But we can't agree on a place, an'..."

Jack stood up and turned to face him. "You decide then. You've always been good at makin' plans an' callin' the shots on our relationship." His eyes flashed with anger.

Ennis threw the map aside and stood up too. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Jack's eyes narrowed. He hated fighting with Ennis, and he didn't want to, not now when they were closer than ever. But they were both stubborn, and scared of what might happen, the fact that they didn't know what was going to happen.

"You know exactly what I'm talkin' about. The day after our first night, you said it was a one-shot deal," he started, counting on his fingers. "The rest of the summer we only do what yer comfortable with, we don't take no risks an' push the boundaries, explore new stuff. We get back to Signal, you get me to stay an' then keep me waitin' all day to see what's gonna happen, then ya jump on me, makin' me think yer gonna take it all away."

Ennis's hands balled up into fists. "Don't you go throwin' that in my face! You know why I was like that!"

Jack's head fell into his hands. "I know, an' I get it. But...yer so good at makin' decisions fer us without my opinion, why doncha just make this one an' have done with it?" he said bitterly.

"We gotta make this one together!"

"We can't! We're goin' in circles! We don't know what's gonna happen, we got hardly any money, we don't know if anybody'll accept us, an'...I just..." his hands clamped over his mouth as he began to sob.

"Jack...come here..." Ennis whispered, walking up to him. He tried to put his arms around him but he pushed him away.

"That ain't gonna fix it!" he choked. "Sex don't solve everythin'!"

"I know that! That ain't what I'm tryin' to do...come here!" he grabbed Jack again, feeling him fall forward into his arms, crying into his shoulder. He pulled Jack back onto the end of the bed and rocked him gently, shushing him and rubbing his hands over Jack's back.

"It's okay...it's okay..."

"I'm so sorry, Ennis..." Jack mumbled into his shoulder. "I didn't mean all that..."

"I know..." he drew back and wiped the tears from Jack's cheeks. "Come on." He stood up and pulled Jack up by his hands, heading for the door.

"Where we goin'?" asked Jack, sniffling slightly.

"We're goin' fer a walk. We need some air."

* * *

><p>They found their way to a small park not far from the motel and flopped onto the bench, breathing in the air. After a quick look around Ennis took Jack's hand, slipping it into his own, feeling Jack grip back.<p>

Jack was silent for a few moments. "I'm sorry, Ennis..." he spoke softly, staring ahead.

Ennis looked at him. "S'alright. You were right. I guess I did make a lot of the decisions since we got together, huh?"

"I know...I know you been through a lot, yer parents dyin'...havin' to look after yerself...I know you like it better when ya know what's gonna happen."

Ennis sighed. "That's true, I guess. Scares me when I ain't got no control over the future. I think that's part of why I got so scared when you an' me got started up on Brokeback. I hadn't planned on it happenin'...everythin' got turned upside down."

"I'm scared too, ya know. I know it might not seem like it...but I am..." Jack whispered.

"You are?"

Jack looked at him. "Uh-huh. I know yer scared of somethin' happenin' to me, but ya gotta know...I'm scared of somethin' happenin' to you. You ain't the only one who can get scared."

"I know...guess we just gotta look after each other, huh?" Ennis asked, a smile on his face.

Jack looked away and smiled. "Ya know...sometimes...you've made real good decisions fer us."

"I have?"

Jack nodded. "When we found out my daddy was bringin' Alma's dad to Lightnin' Flat cos he wanted to hurt us...you took charge an' got us away. You saved us both." He looked up and into Ennis's eyes, his own blue pools shining. "You made a real good decision that day."

Ennis blushed a little and squeezed his hand. "Thanks, darlin'."

"But yer right," Jack continued. "We gotta make this decision together. This is our life we're talkin' 'bout, cowboy. You an' me. We'll just hafta pick a place."

"But...what if...ya know...people..."

"We'll hafta be honest with 'em. If they don't like it, we'll move someplace else. We gotta at least be honest with our neighbours."

Ennis looked up, looking somewhat uncomfortable. "We gotta tell 'em?"

"Yeah. They have a right to know who they're livin' near." Jack tilted his head. "You ain't ashamed, are ya?"

"God, no...I just don't want 'em hurtin' us."

"I know...we'll just hafta pick a place, go there, an' if they don't like who we are, we'll leave." With a quick look around, he shuffled and wrapped his arms around Ennis, feeling Ennis's arms go around his back and squeeze him. "Ya know...I'm glad I got you makin' decisions fer us. Sometimes I get scared, an' havin' you around, takin' charge...calms me down, ya know?" he mumbled into Ennis's ear.

"Mmm..."

They broke apart and Jack fiddled with Ennis's curls. "So...whaddaya wanna do now?"

Ennis smirked. "You in the mood fer a little makeup sex?"

Jack grinned. "Makeup sex? That was hardly a fight."

Ennis was getting bolder. "Maybe it could be...dumbass."

Jack saw what he was doing and decided to play along. "Oh yeah? Well you ain't much good at it...bastard."

"You wanna make somethin' of it?"

"Maybe I do. Maybe I wanna teach ya a lesson, fer talkin' back to me like that." Jack realised this kind of talk was turning him on, and figured they should probably get back to the motel soon.

Ennis shivered slightly. "You wanna teach me a lesson?" He stood up and started backing away. "You hafta catch me first." And in a flash, he was running out of the park and back to the motel, Jack hot on his heels.

Ennis fumbled with the key in the lock, knowing Jack wasn't far behind him. He got it open and tried to run for the bathroom, but halfway there he heard the door slam shut, before being tackled to the floor, feeling a pair of familiar hands on his waist.

"Gotcha." breathed Jack into his ear, letting Ennis turn over onto his front and straddling him.

"Whatcha gonna do with me now?" Ennis whispered, eyes darkening with desire, running his hands up Jack's arms.

"Whaddaya want me to do with ya?" Jack whispered back, grinding his hips so that their groins rubbed together, making Ennis's head fall back as he groaned.

"What was that?" Jack asked teasingly.

Ennis lifted his head. "Do whatever ya want with me."

Jack leaned down and kissed him as he removed his shirt, feeling Ennis do the same to him. Their shirts were thrown across the room and they started on the jeans and boots. When they were off, Jack started to get up, go to the bed but Ennis stopped him.

"Let's do it here." He whispered, pulling Jack down to him for another kiss. "Right here."

Jack's eyes glittered. "Okay...how you want it?"

Ennis traced Jack's jaw with his finger, considering. "Want ya inside me. From the front."

Jack held Ennis's face in his hands as he kissed him deeply, tongue pushing deep into his mouth. Ennis let him go momentarily so he could retrieve the lube from the bedside table, and he reared up onto his knees, preparing himself with Ennis watching his every move.

Jack threw the tub onto the bed and pushed Ennis's knees apart, sliding in slowly, mindful of the fact that Ennis was still not used to this like he was. Ennis willingly wrapped his legs around Jack's waist as he pushed in, completing him.

The pace was slow and passionate, littered with kisses to mouths and hands and necks and faces. They embraced each other, exploring each other's bodies with their hands as they had done on their second night together. They grabbed at each other frantically and then softened their grip, caressing each other. They sighed and moaned and gasped, wondering how on earth they had managed to find each other, their other half, while still so young.

They hit dizzying heights at the same time, grabbing and kissing and whispering their lover's name with reverence. Jack collapsed onto Ennis's chest, it didn't hurt so much for him to collapse, only really when Ennis's weight put pressure onto his chest.

They lay there for a while, breathing, arms and legs and torsos tangled together. Jack's head was in Ennis's shoulder and Ennis's had turned and hit the floor as they'd finished.

"Wanna know somethin'?" Jack breathed.

"Huh?"

"I love you."

Ennis let out a low chuckling breath. "You don't say. I love you too."

"Really? Never woulda guessed."

They fell silent again, drained of energy, falling asleep where they lay, breathing in each other's scent.

* * *

><p>Becky held the phone in her hand, staring at it, and the piece of paper in the other. She'd only called this number a few times; the first being shortly after that fateful day last year when her parents had told her the awful truths about their Wyomingite relatives. She particularly dreaded the possibility of her uncle picking up, she was liable to lose her head completely and start screaming at him. This was all his fault and they all knew it.<p>

With shaking fingers, she dialled the number and slowly lifted the phone to her ear, listening to the rings stretching across the miles, and in a way, the years.

"Hello?" that woman's voice. Tears stung in her eyes.

"It's...it's me."

There was silence for a few seconds. "Becky?" the voice asked softly.

"Uh huh."

"How...how are you?"

"Fine...apart from the fact that every time I'm with Jack, the truth just screams at me. I've thought about it every damn day since he got here. I've got him an' Ennis askin' me what's goin' on, why you an' me ain't inclined to talk about each other. He's got no idea that it ain't you that's the problem. You know what my problem is."

"Honey..."

"Don't call me that! I ain't yer daughter!" her eyes flashed. "My parents are right here in Texas, thank you!"

"Becky...I understand you're upset...but you know this ain't my fault."

Becky rubbed her temple in frustration. "I know. An' I'm sorry. I just...I hate keepin' it from him. He hates his daddy as it is, an' this'll just make it worse."

"I know...what about Ennis?"

Becky sighed. "He...he saw it. When they killed him an' left him in the ditch in Sage. His daddy made him see."

"Oh my...does Jack know?"

"Yep, but he don't know...ya know."

"What if he finds out?"

"Think about it. Ennis's own father did it. He did that, an' you know the effect it had on Jack's father. We both know it." she said darkly. "I'm down here in Texas cos of that. I didn't see Jack for ten or eleven years cos of that. Cos of Ennis's father! You got any idea what'll happen if this gets out? It'll destroy both of them, it might break them up!"

"Calm down...it ain't gonna happen. There's really no way of Jack findin' out. An' if he does...we'll just have to deal with it."

Becky was silent for a few moments, and then voiced the question she'd wanted to ask most. "Why?"

"What?"

"You know...why did it hafta happen? They just fell in love. They didn't even take off until after she died...okay, maybe they shoulda left sooner, an' he wouldn't have cheated on her fer so long, but...it ain't like you can control who you fall in love with."

"I know...it was just the wrong time for them. They fell in love, and tore the family apart by accident. I just hope the same thing don't happen with Ennis an' Jack. An' I really hope one of them isn't left alone like poor Rich."

"Yeah...when was the last time you spoke to him?"

"Few months ago, maybe. He was passin' south through to Texas, actually. Took a detour to Lightnin' Flat while John was away, had a chat. I told him about Jack, an' about you. God knows he didn't get the chance to get to know you."

Becky squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to think about that. "Where was he goin'?"

"Said he wanted a fresh start. He's gettin' on now. Wants to settle somewhere new. He don't want a new partner, he's just waitin' till he can see Earl again. Said he planned on goin' east, maybe Georgia."

"Well...hope he does okay. I gotta go...my daddy'll be home soon."

"Okay. Hope to hear from you again." Rose sounded hopeful.

Becky bit her lip. "I...I'd like that. Be good to talk some more."

"Sure."

"Listen...don't tell Ennis an' Jack I called ya...I ain't ready to tell them yet."

"I understand. Goodbye, Becky."

"Bye...um...Rose..." Her heart ached for the woman at the other end, wanting to be there with her, sharing the life that Jack had had with her, the life that had been torn from her before she had even been aware of it.

She hung up and sank into the chair, thinking. She'd been doing a lot of that lately, but had tried to cover it up, keep it buried within her heart so nobody else would get hurt, especially Jack. She knew that if the secret got out, the entire surviving Twist family would be at war, especially Jack and his father. He would hate him, even more so now that Jack was fully aware that he was gay and that he was planning to set up a home with another man like poor Earl had. He'd tried to fight it, like Ennis, but his feelings for Rich had obviously proven too powerful, like Ennis's feelings for Jack. He'd tried to fight those feelings for twenty years, tied by society to his family until the tie was finally broken, leaving him free.

Only he'd suffered for it in the end. They all had. Earl, Rich, John, Rose, herself, and if Ennis and Jack found out, they would undoubtedly suffer too.

She just didn't know what to do. Rose would make a good confidant, she understood completely. But her only other option would be Rich. Nobody knew where he was. And he had been alone and lonely for ten years. He wouldn't want to bring up his horrible memories. He was an old man now, she couldn't do that to him, it wouldn't be fair. A little while ago she might have talked to her parents, but with her father finding out about Ennis and Jack, that wouldn't be wise.

She sighed and left the kitchen, knowing that, through no fault of her own, she'd become embroiled in these family secrets and lies, and there wasn't much she could do about it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Ennis was the first to awake the morning after, and he noticed that while he and Jack had fallen asleep in each other's arms the night before, they'd moved away sometime during the night, and now Jack was sleeping on his stomach, face turned towards him, arms hugging the pillow. Ennis smiled at the sight of his lover sleeping so peacefully.

He thought about his birthday, and how amazing it had been. He'd had no idea where Jack had learnt about such things, but he had to admit it had felt incredible. He knew he preferred to have some control, but he felt completely safe to give himself over to Jack and let him take control. Jack had been so loving towards him that night, it had been erotic and romantic all at the same time.

He looked at his wrist, at the watch. He couldn't believe that Jack had been able to find such a perfect present for him, and he couldn't stop thinking about what it represented, the fact that they would be growing old together. When their relationship had started up on Brokeback, he never could have foreseen how they would end up. There were some days he could still hardly believe his luck.

Jack stirred next to him and opened his eyes, seeing that Ennis was watching him. "Mornin' cowboy." he smiled.

Ennis smiled back and turned onto his front, then leaned over and kissed Jack softly. "Mornin' to you too."

Jack yawned. "You gettin' up yet?"

Ennis folded his arms onto the pillow and laid his head on them, facing Jack. "Nah. Let's stay here fer a bit. It's early yet."

Jack smiled and copied his movement, folding his own arms and laying his head on them so they could talk. "Ya know...when we get our own ranch, we gotta be up early. Can't stay in bed all day."

_Our own ranch. _Those words always made a feeling of happiness fill Ennis's stomach and put a smile on his face. A home with Jack. "I could stay in bed all day if you were there." he whispered.

Jack blushed a little and looked at Ennis's wrist. "You taken that off since I gave it ya?" he asked in an amused voice.

"Don't think so..." Ennis grinned slightly.

Jack sighed. "You up fer a little early mornin' makeout? I don't think I got the energy to screw, but..."

"I hear ya." Ennis rose up as Jack rolled himself onto his back, pulling Ennis into his arms and over him. Their lips met in soft, tender kisses, hands tangling in each other's hair and sighs escaping in the brief seconds that their lips parted, as they bumped noses and ducked to kiss necks and cheeks. They were a little hard but there was no rush to move things along, which was a stark contrast to their couplings up on the mountain, where things had often started out slow and tender enough, but had quickly turned fast and rough, ending with Ennis flipping Jack over, which Jack had not always appreciated. He had enjoyed having sex with Ennis, but a part of him had wished that Ennis would be more gentle with him sometimes. Moments like this morning reminded Jack of how much things had changed and how far they'd come. Now it felt like making love.

Ennis pulled back and Jack could see that hint of green again, the one that he had a feeling he alone had seen. Ennis ducked his face to kiss at his throat, and Jack ran his hands over Ennis's back, loving the feeling of Ennis's lips on his skin. They were even harder by now, could feel how hard they both were, but still felt no need to rush.

"Ennis..." Jack breathed into his ear. "Move yer hips."

"Huh?"

"Ya know...that rubbin' thing..."

"Oh..." Ennis started grinding their hips together, groins locked, the pair of them trying to connect without the need for penetration. It was a slower, gentler approach that they hadn't done too often but loved, and it gave them a way of achieving release if one of them didn't have the energy for the regular way.

"Oh, Jack..." came the puff of air in Jack's ear as they held each other close, still rubbing together. Their release was warm and satisfying, the perfect way to have sex early in the morning. Ennis rose up and rubbed their noses together like in an Eskimo kiss, making Jack smile.

"Know what I been thinkin'?" said Jack, kissing the tip of Ennis's nose.

"What?"

"When we start our ranch...first thing I wanna do is get a horse. Know what I'm gonna name it?" Ennis raised his eyebrows in question. "Signal. Like where we met. Sounds good, right?"

"Sure does. Shame we can't have Cigar Butt. He was a good horse."

"Yeah...sure don't want that filly though. Can't believe she threw me. Hurt like hell." Jack muttered.

"Well, I warned ya. I told ya she had a low startle point. The day we went up, remember? You was a real show-off." Ennis said in a teasing voice.

"Guess some things don't change, huh?" replied Jack, fiddling with Ennis's curls.

"I liked it, though. I liked how you could do all that...an' not get embarrassed or nothin'." Ennis went on.

"I guess...it's just how I am." mused Jack.

"An' if I'm honest...I think that's what got me to likin' ya...more than a friend, like. Looked forward to seein' ya in camp. Couldn't help it. At the time, I...I didn't see why, but now I do. I was fallin' in love with ya, Jack." Ennis whispered, holding Jack's face in both hands.

"Really?" Jack's blue eyes were sparkling with happiness and love.

"Yeah...don't think it actually happened till that second night, but...I was gettin' there by the time we first slept together. Remember how ya said I'd spoken more words than I had in the last two weeks? An' I said it was the most words I'd spoken in a year?"

Jack nodded. "I had a feelin' ya liked me when ya said that...I just hadta be careful in case I did anythin' wrong. In case I went for ya too soon."

"Well..." Ennis smiled. "I think it was the right time. Fer both of us." He kissed Jack's mouth once more and laid his head into his shoulder as Jack wrapped his arms around him, breathing in unison.

* * *

><p>They drifted off again soon after their early morning encounter, but a few hours later they were roused by the phone ringing. Without moving off Jack, Ennis leaned across and picked up the receiver.<p>

"Hello?" he yawned. Jack stretched his arms above his head and let them rest there as he watched Ennis.

"K.E.?" said Ennis, a mixture of surprise and wariness on his face. Jack looked at him, wide-eyed.

"Uh...how are ya?" Ennis asked, looking into Jack's eyes.

"I'm good." replied the grousing voice at the other end. "You?"

"Yeah, I'm...we're...fine, thanks." Ennis said, smiling at Jack who grinned back.

K.E. grunted, knowing full well who 'we' entailed of. "So, uh...Cecilia tells me yer in Texas."

"Yeah. Came here fer the rodeo. Jack's a bull rider."

"He...he any good?" Ennis knew that K.E. was trying his best to consider Jack as a member of the family.

Ennis tangled his free hand in Jack's hair. "He's the best." Jack blushed.

"She tells me he got hurt..."

Ennis's eyes clouded. "Yeah, he did. Got attacked that night, got put in hospital with fractured ribs. He's fine now, healin' up good."

"Was he attacked cos he's...?"

"Queer? Yep. An' ya know what? So am I." Jack squeezed his shoulder.

"Can't believe yer sayin' it..."

"Me neither. Few months ago I woulda denied it. Even when me an' him got together fer real, some part of me thought I wasn't. I know better now. It took Jack gettin' hurt fer me to figure it out."

"You, uh...you really feel fer him, then?" K.E. asked, stumbling a little over his words. Ennis had to give him credit for trying.

"I do. Ya know how you feel 'bout Sarah? An' how Cecilia feels 'bout Tom? It's just like that. That's what I feel fer Jack."

"But it's different. It's a guy..."

"Yeah. Jack's a guy. But it ain't no different to how you guys feel. I love him." Ennis said, gazing down into Jack's eyes, which were filled with happiness.

"Yer...yer in love with...him? You, uh...you..."

Ennis got what he was trying to say and went a little red about discussing his sex life.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I sleep with him." Jack raised his eyebrows a little, knowing it wouldn't have been easy for him to say that.

"Uh...right. So, like...is it...different? Than with a girl?"

"K.E...yer forgettin' I ain't never slept with no-one else. Only Jack. How the hell should I know if it's different than with girls?"

"Right...so...where is he now?"

_I'm lyin' on top of him, both of us buck naked, _Ennis thought to himself in amusement. It probably wouldn't do any good to tell K.E. that, though. "He's sleepin'." He said, giving Jack an _I'll explain later _look. "We're in a motel while he recovers."

"Yeah...so, um...Cecilia says yer movin' to Colorado?"

"Actually, we've been thinkin' 'bout that, an' thinkin' that maybe Colorado ain't such a good idea after all. We made enemies in Wyomin' an' Texas, wouldn't feel safe if we lived between the two, ya know?"

"Huh...Ennis, I...I'm tryin'. Ya know it ain't easy fer me, findin' out my brother's queer, after what we saw, but...I'm tryin', cos yer my brother."

Ennis looked sympathetic. "I know. I know yer tryin', K.E. It means a lot. To both of us." He answered, stroking Jack's cheek.

K.E. sighed. "Well...guess I should go. Maybe we could talk again sometime?"

"Sure. Talk soon."

"Yep. Bye."

Ennis leaned back across and put the receiver back, finally rolling off Jack onto his own side, flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

Jack turned onto his side and looked at him, reaching out to run his hand over his chest in comfort. "What did he say?"

Ennis sighed. "Said he's tryin' to get used to it, cos I'm his brother."

Jack smiled sadly. "That's what we was hopin' fer, right? That he'd work past it cos yer family?"

Ennis looked at him, twining his fingers with Jack's on his chest. "Yeah, I guess. He's still got a ways to go, but...maybe..."

"What was that about me sleepin'?"

"He asked where you was. Couldn't tell him I was naked on top of ya, could I?"

Jack's eyes glittered mischievously. "Maybe you coulda. We coulda made some sound effects." He said wickedly.

"Yer a bad boy, Jack Twist." Ennis muttered in an amused voice.

"An' don't you know it?" Jack whispered, leaning over to kiss him, coaxing his tongue out to meet his own.

"Mmm..." Ennis murmured against Jack's lips, opening his mouth willingly as Jack's tongue explored his mouth. The heat was starting to increase and Jack pulled away.

"Know what I feel like doin'?" he whispered, heavily lidded eyes sending volts through Ennis's body straight to his groin.

"What?"

"I feel like doin' it in the shower...whaddaya say?"

With no words, Ennis rose up off the bed and took Jack's hands, pulling him up with him and dragging him towards the bathroom.

"Read ya loud an' clear, cowboy." Jack breathed just before his lips were captured.

In the stall, the water was quickly turned on and ran down their sweaty, slippery bodies as Ennis pressed Jack against the wall, kissing his neck as he thrust into him from behind. Jack needed to grab onto something, to try and keep a grip on reality so he wouldn't slip. The wall was smooth and there was nothing there.

"Ennis...Ennis, I..."

"What is it?" Ennis asked, ever attentive of his lover's wants and needs.

"I need to hold onto somethin'...don't wanna slip."

"Uh..." Ennis thought for a moment, and then pulled out.

"Ennis, what're you..." Jack didn't get much further, for Ennis spun him around to face him and before he knew it, they were on the floor of the stall, Ennis deep inside him from the front, his legs wrapped around Ennis's waist.

"Ain't gonna slip now, huh?" Ennis breathed into his ear as he kissed into Jack's neck.

"Nuh-uh."

Jack's legs suddenly gripped tighter as he gave a final yell, shooting between their bodies, feeling Ennis fill him up at the same time.

Their bodies relaxed, and they gazed into each other's eyes, engaging in several soft, slow kisses, oblivious to the now cold water running down.

* * *

><p>Ennis had once more headed into town to buy them some more food and Jack was dozing on the bed, his head filled with images of their dream ranch and what their life together might be like. He couldn't wait until they finally got their own place. They would actually have a home together, something he could not have foreseen when he'd grabbed Ennis's hand in the tent, which now felt like so long ago.<p>

He jumped awake when the phone rang, rubbing his eyes as he picked it up.

"Hello?" he asked groggily.

"Jack? It's me."

"Hey, ma," he said, happy to hear her voice. "What's up?"

"I've got some news for you."

"Really? What?"

She took a nervous breath. "Well...unfortunately, yer Uncle Harold died in hospital a couple days ago. Pneumonia got him."

"Oh, ma...I sure am sorry to hear that. You okay?"

"I'm fine. I got to talk to him before he went, said goodbye. Anyway...you ain't gonna believe what's happened."

"What? What is it?"

"Well...remember that ranch in Georgia I told ya about? The one he inherited from our daddy?"

"Uh...yeah...didn't you say he's never been down there, so it's just kinda sittin' there?"

"That's the one. Well...it's been handed down, in his will."

"Huh...so who got it? One of his kids?"

"Nope," she replied happily. "All his kids have grown up, got ranches of their own. In fact, the two eldest were there when he made the will. They've agreed to his wishes, that his named beneficiary gets the ranch."

Jack had no idea where she was going with this. "So, uh...who is the beneficiary?"

"You, Jack. You got the ranch in Georgia."

Jack sat bolt upright, immediately awakened from his sleepy state, shock and euphoria washing over him and colliding together.

"W-what?"

"You heard me, sweetheart. You get the ranch in Georgia. It's yours. You got a home."

"Oh God...ma, I...I dunno what to say...what've I gotta do?"

"The paperwork's done, an' if you want it, all you gotta do is go down to Georgia, go to the solicitor's office in Sandersville, the ranch is just outside the city. It's Greg Thompson you're lookin' for. You just gotta go there, identify yerself an' get everythin' signed over, get the keys an' papers, you know?"

"Uh, sure...I mean, I gotta talk to Ennis first, but...okay." Jack was flustered and his head was filling up with images of ranches and stock and that sweet life with Ennis, so quickly that his head was spinning slightly.

"Oh, an' that ain't all."

"What? What else is there?" Jack asked, a little breathless.

"Jack, he...he didn't want ya to start off the ranch with nothin', so...he also left ya some money. Fifty thousand dollars."

Jack's heart was pounding and the adrenalin was making him feel a little sick. "Uh...wow, I...I dunno what to say..."

He heard his mother give a small laugh. "I understand, sweetheart. It's a lot to take in. You wanna call me back after you've talked with Ennis?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. Talk soon, ma."

"Yep. Bye."

He hung up, shaking with happiness and shock, hands over his mouth. They'd been worrying for a month how on earth they were going to get a ranch of their own, and here it was, dropped into their laps. A ready-made home and money to get it started with! They had to take this chance; they might not get another like it. But he knew that Georgia was a long way away, and he wasn't sure if Ennis would be comfortable about going that far, so far away from what he knew.

He heard Ennis returning and scrambled to the bottom of the bed, standing up just as Ennis walked in.

"Hey darlin'." said Ennis as he walked in, not seeing the massive grin on Jack's face. He turned to shut the door, but before he could turn back he was suddenly grabbed by the shoulders and pushed up against the door, Jack's lips on his, hands now on his face. Jack was kissing him fiercely and passionately, eventually letting him go to breathe, another huge grin on his face, showing those wide dimples that Ennis loved.

"Damn," he breathed, looking at Jack in surprise. "You glad to see me or somethin'?"

"I sure am," Jack replied happily, pulling him towards the bed and sitting them both down on it. "You ain't gonna believe what's happened."

"What? What's goin' on?" Jack couldn't stop smiling and his eyes were shining.

"Well...my mama called. Uncle Harold died a couple days ago. Pneumonia got him."

"Oh...sorry 'bout that."

"I know...but thing is...he had this ranch in Georgia, see. Inherited it from my grandfather. My mama says he never went near it, said it was too far south to go, so it's just been sittin' there."

"Right...?" Like Jack before him, Ennis had no idea where this was going.

"Well, he left a will. An' cowboy..." he cupped Ennis's face with both hands. "He left it to me! He left me the ranch!"

"Are you kiddin'? Oh, darlin'..." Ennis wrapped his arms around him in a big bear hug, feeling Jack grinning against his neck. "Congratulations. Got yerself a home, huh?"

Jack drew back. "Well, that depends on you."

"What?" Ennis looked confused.

Jack looked directly into his eyes. "I know he left it to me, but...I ain't doin' it without ya. We've been wantin' a home, an' I ain't takin' this one without you by my side, ya got that?"

"Really?" Ennis asked shyly. "You really want me there? Would I be workin' for ya?" he looked a little worried.

Jack held his face in his hands and kissed him. "No. When I get the papers, I'm gonna see if they can put it in both our names."

"Can ya do that?"

"Well...we're gonna be business partners, right? I'm sure it's a requirement fer business partners to have both their names on there. You an' me. You ain't gonna be workin' fer me. Yer gonna be workin' with me, just like we wanted. An' that includes the money."

"Huh? What money?"

Jack grinned. "He left us a little somethin'. Fifty thousand bucks, sweetheart."

Ennis had never even contemplated the idea of having so much money, it was overwhelming.

"W-wow..."

"I know." Jack sighed. "What's mine is yers, got that? Are ya with me?"

Ennis took his hands, interlacing their fingers. "Okay, if yer sure."

"I am. Ya know...is it okay fer us to go so far? It's a long way, an' if you ain't comfortable with it, I'll...I'll sell it an' we'll buy a place closer-"

Ennis put his hand over Jack's mouth. "It's okay, darlin'. I know it's kinda scary, goin' so far, but...we'll be okay, right? We got each other."

Jack laughed and pressed their mouths together. "So..." he asked when they drew apart. "We gonna do it? We gonna move to Georgia?"

"Yeah I think we are, rodeo." Ennis replied, smiling in a way that told Jack he was truly happy, and that while it was scary, it was also exciting. They had a home, and money to set it up with, all waiting for them just over a thousand miles away. Their mouths met again and they fell back onto the bed, starting their celebration.

* * *

><p>The next day, after an all-night lovemaking marathon, Ennis and Jack were packing up their things, finally ready to leave Texas. Jack's ribs were a lot stronger now than they had been and they figured that since they had an actual home waiting for them, they might as well get moving. They'd decided to drive back up to Wyoming first to see Cecilia one last time, before they set off. They also figured that they would need a new truck; Jack wasn't sure if the old pickup would make it to Georgia. They'd already called Cecilia to tell her the news, and she was sure that a work friend of Tom's had a truck he wanted to get rid of, he was selling it cheap.<p>

Unfortunately, this also meant that they would be saying goodbye to Becky. Jack had enjoyed spending time with his cousin and Ennis had enjoyed meeting her, she had real spirit. And while this trip had done so many things for them and been good for their relationship, they were glad to be finally leaving.

They were packing their bags on the bed, making sure they had everything they'd brought or bought while here.

Jack smiled when he picked up the wooden horse; the one Ennis had given to him during their first visit to Cecilia's house, which seemed so long ago.

"Remember this?" he said, looking up at Ennis, who smiled when he saw what he was holding.

"Sure do. First gift I ever gave ya. Thought ya might like it, so..."

"Well, I do," Jack replied sincerely. "When we get there, it's goin' straight on our bedside table." He put the figure into the bag.

Ennis continued to look at him, digesting these words. Jack momentarily looked up and saw he was staring at him. "What?"

Ennis snapped out his reverie. "Sorry, it's just..." he paused, trying to find the words. "What you just said...'bout it goin' on our bedside table..."

"What about it?"

Ennis gave a shy smile. "Just...when I first met ya...I never woulda thought..."

Jack smiled back. "I know. Me neither. Been a weird coupla months, huh?"

"Sure has. Been weird, but...I gotta tell ya, Jack...best few months of my life. Never thought...I'd ever be this happy."

Jack outstretched his hands across the bed and took Ennis's. "Me neither, cowboy. You already know what a mess I was when I turned up in Signal in May. I sure as hell didn't see this comin'. Now we're packin', leavin' fer our own place. It's gone real fast, I know, but...feels right...don't it?"

Ennis squeezed his hands. "Sure does, bud." They released each other's hands and resumed their packing.

"Oh..." said Jack suddenly, hands in his bag.

"What?"

Jack brought out his bundled denim shirt and pulled at it, revealing the plaid one underneath. He looked up at Ennis. "Forgot 'bout these."

"What are we doin' with 'em? I know we're gonna keep 'em, an' not wear 'em, but...what are we gonna do?" Ennis asked, looking a little puzzled.

Jack lowered his head, thinking. "Well, I uh...I been thinkin' on that..."

"Yeah? You got an idea?" Ennis asked.

Jack ran his tongue along his bottom lip, which normally Ennis found sexy, but he knew that right now Jack was nervous about what he wanted to say.

"What is it, Jack?" he asked softly.

Jack looked up. "Well...I was thinkin'...maybe we could, uh...hang 'em up, ya know? Not in the wardrobe, buried in with the others, but...separate. Just the two of 'em. Like...on the back of our bedroom door or somethin'." he looked nervous. "Unless that's stupid, I..."

Ennis held up a hand to stop him. "Jack," he said, walking around the bed and kissing him gently. "I think it's perfect. They'll be there together, just like us."

Jack grinned his wide grin and pulled Ennis into a warm hug, squeezing him tightly. "Yeah...just like us."

They were soon packed up and ready to go, having checked the bedside cabinets and drawers for anything they might have overlooked. Jack was loading bags into the truck and Ennis was double-checking the bathroom. As the minutes passed both of them became increasingly nervous but also excited. They would soon be in a home of their own.

Ennis came out and locked the door. "All clear," he called to Jack. "Gonna take this back." He waved the key.

"Okay," Jack answered, giving that sideways grin that gave Ennis butterflies in his stomach. He got in the truck behind the driver's seat. It was decided that, as before, they would split their journey into chunks. Their first stop would be at a rest stop just outside Childress, where Becky wanted to say goodbye to them. Jack would be driving from here to Pueblo in southern Colorado, where they had once spent the night before. From here, Ennis would drive them through Colorado through to Wyoming, to Casper. They figured they might spend the night again, and Jack would see about buying a new truck. Then they would set off on the long journey to Georgia.

They drove towards Childress in a comfortable silence, hands clasped between them. Becky was waiting for them, a huge grin just like Jack's on her face when she saw them. Her deep thoughts about the past were driven out of her mind by the news, and she welcomed the distraction.

"Congratulations, you guys!" she said happily, hugging them both tightly.

"It's gonna be kinda scary," Jack admitted as he let her go. "But I think we'll be okay, right Ennis?" he said, smiling at his partner.

"Sure 'nough, darlin'." Ennis replied, blushing a little.

"At least yer gonna be away from those assholes." said Becky bluntly.

"Yeah..."

"So...I guess this is goodbye..." she smiled a little sadly. "I'm really gonna miss you guys."

Jack smiled back. "We're gonna miss you too. But ya know...once we're settled...yer welcome to visit, right?" he asked, looking at Ennis, who nodded.

"I'd like that." Becky said happily. She then bit her lip. "Guys, I...I know ya said you don't get the money till yer over there, an' let's face it, that truck ain't gonna make it."

Jack nodded. "We're gonna get a new one. Ennis's brother-in-law's got a friend who's got one we might be able to buy."

"I figured you'd need a new one, so..." she hesitated, and then brought an envelope from her pants pocket. "Here."

"What's that?"

"It's $300. What's left of my barrel racin' winnin's." She looked at them both. "I want ya to have it."

Ennis and Jack looked at each other. "Uh..." Ennis looked uncomfortable. "I ain't sure 'bout takin' a woman's money...no offense."

She put her hands on her hips. "Ennis, you know as well as I do yer gonna need money till you get to Georgia. The new truck, gas, food, motels. You ain't gonna get there without a little help. I ain't bein' a ball-buster or nothin', bruisin' yer male pride. I just wanna help ya cos yer family. Both of ya. Look...if it makes ya feel better...consider it a loan. You can pay me back when yer settled."

"She's right, Ennis," said Jack. "We're gonna need somethin'. An' you know we'll pay her back."

"Well...okay." Ennis felt better at it only being a loan. And both Twists were right. They would need more money to get to Georgia.

"It's settled, then." said Becky, a tone of finality in her voice, handing Jack the envelope. She smiled. "So...I guess this is it, then?"

"Yeah, guess so...thanks fer everythin', Becky. You've been a real help to us." Jack moved forward and hugged her tightly, then she broke free and hugged Ennis, who, despite his pride and stubborn streak, was grateful to her for her offer. She had helped them a lot while they'd been here.

After a few more goodbyes, Ennis and Jack were back in the truck, waving at Becky as they passed. She watched them go, a mixture of happiness and sadness within her. She was glad they'd finally got a home, but she sure would miss them. Now she was alone again, alone with nothing but her thoughts for company.

* * *

><p>Alma sat on the sofa, staring at the calendar on the wall. There was just under two months left until she was supposed to be marrying Ennis, and while she'd been extremely upset by the news he'd gone off with someone else, she was feeling calmer now and thinking rationally about the situation.<p>

She had been shocked to discover that Ennis had indeed run off with his work colleague from Brokeback, some hussy who obviously had no self-respect. She couldn't believe they actually hired girls for such jobs. What were they thinking, sending a young man up there, not even out of his teens, with a young woman, presumably the same age? Did they seriously expect this girl to keep her distance? Ennis was very good looking; she was bound to be attracted to him. Had she no shame?

She'd been picturing her big day for years, the venue, the flowers, the cake, the reception, but most of all, the man who would be by her side, who would make his vows to her, treat her like a princess, give her children and an identity. All she'd ever wanted was what society expected of her, a marriage to a good man and children. She'd thought that Ennis wanted the same things, a marriage to her, have her carry his children. Now he'd gone, was probably going to marry his lover, have her carry his children, and make a commitment to her.

She got up and went to the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror.

_What's wrong with me?_ She thought to herself. She wasn't vain, but she'd been told that she was pretty, and a nice person. She would have made a loving wife. But there was obviously something about this other woman that had swayed him, turned him away from her. He'd seemed happy enough when she'd accepted his proposal, she'd even seen him smile, which was a rare occurrence. She'd tried to get him to talk to her, tell her things about himself, like his childhood, things that you should share with a spouse.

But she'd got nothing. He was a very private person, didn't open up to anyone. But then...if he'd fallen in love with this other girl, perhaps he'd opened up to her? Told her things that he'd never told Alma? The thought of it made her angry and hurt. What did this other girl have that she didn't?

She was curious, she had to admit. This woman had stolen her fiancé, ruined their wedding plans and what was supposed to be a life together. So...what was it about her? Maybe she was from another state? So she was different from what he knew, and he'd been enticed? If that was the case, maybe it was just infatuation, and that with a little persuasion, he'd see it for what it was, and that he loved his fiancée. Ennis did love her...

Didn't he?

_He loves you, _a voice whispered in her head. _You know he does. This is just an infatuation. He was away from home with, presumably, a beautiful woman. She seduced him. You know he would never cheat on you._

She wanted to believe he wouldn't, but just didn't know. Ennis had never actually told her that he loved her, but he'd proposed to her, that had to count for something, right?

_If you're so curious, go see for yourself. Find them. See what she has that you don't. Persuade him that he loves you. You've got time until the wedding. Go get him back._

She didn't know where they were, where they'd gone. But knowing Ennis, he probably wouldn't want to leave Wyoming. That gave her some hope, narrowed it down considerably. But Wyoming was still a fairly big state, and she had no idea where they might go. Who would know?

She wracked her brains, trying to think of a place that Ennis might have mentioned. Signal came to mind. That was where his brother lived. But that was a long way and she couldn't drive. Casper came to mind, where his sister lived. That was nearer. But how would she get there?

Then another idea came to mind. Her friend Monroe. He worked at the convenience store, was a friend of hers from high school. He would help her; he knew that Ennis had run off.

She quickly left her house and walked through town until she found his house, finding him fiddling with his car.

"Monroe!" she called, approaching him.

"Hey, Alma," he answered, straightening up. "What's up?"

"I need yer help. It's about Ennis."

He sighed. "Alma...I told ya...I can't see him comin' back."

"Exactly. So I've gotta go get him."

His brow furrowed. "What?"

"Look...this...this woman that stole him. Think about it. They were up there on their own an' they're both young...she musta seduced him! I gotta get him back! I know he loves me."

"What are ya gonna do? We don't know where he's gone."

"I know," Alma answered, smirking triumphantly. "But I bet his sister does."

"Huh?"

"His sister. Cecilia. In Casper. She's bound to know where he is. I gotta get over there an' ask her. See if she can get hold of him."

He looked at her, pity in his eyes. "Alma...you sure about this?"

"I'm sure," she nodded. "I just need someone to drive me there." She looked at him pointedly.

His eyes widened. "Oh...I dunno..."

"Please, Monroe. I need to save my weddin'. I need to get my fiancé back from that hussy. You gotta help me."

"Alma...it's five hours drivin'."

"I know...but...I gotta do this. Please..."

He looked at her for a few moments, thinking. He'd had a crush on her for a while, but had at first been too shy to approach her. But then she'd started seeing Ennis, and he could never compete with someone like that. So he'd stepped aside. He had two choices. Tell her no, and then wait to make his move, pick up the pieces. Or he could help her, and run the risk of her and Ennis getting back together, which would break his heart. But he knew his feelings for her might never be reciprocated, so the least he could do was try and help her be happy, even if it wasn't with him.

He sighed and nodded. "Okay. I'll help you."

She smiled and thanked him as they got into the car.

Looking out of the window at the Wyoming terrain, she thought about her plan. She needed to get Ennis away from that woman. She needed to get her cowboy back. She had a wedding to save. She'd planned this wedding, probably for years, and she wasn't about to let some shameless hussy take it away from her.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

A few days later found Ennis and Jack in a motel just outside Cheyenne, having decided to stop there for the night and make the final push for Casper in the morning.

The pair of them were rolling around on the bed naked, pushing each other onto their backs and pinning each other down, kissing and giggling. The news that they had their own ranch waiting for them had sent them into a state of euphoria, even Ennis, who couldn't believe how lucky he was as he looked at the man in his arms, blue eyes alight with happiness.

Ennis finally got Jack to stay on his back, straddling him and kissing his neck as Jack kissed his, their fingers laced together on the bed. He pulled up and kissed Jack on the mouth, feeling Jack moan into his mouth with longing.

Ennis let go of his lips and gave him a mischievous look, before moving down Jack's body to his crotch, eyes glittering. Jack bit his lip in anticipation, and then an idea popped into his head.

"Ennis, wait a sec." He said, placing his hands on Ennis's shoulders. Ennis looked up at him.

"Huh?"

Jack smiled. "Lie on yer side so that yer facin' me, across the bed." He motioned with his hands where he wanted Ennis to go. Ennis, completely clueless, did as Jack suggested. Jack then laid the opposite way so that their groins were right in each other's faces. Ennis's eyes widened when he realised what Jack wanted to do. They'd never done this before.

He became distracted from his thoughts by Jack's mouth wrapping itself around his erection. He shivered at the feeling, and taking his cue from his lover, wrapped his own mouth around Jack's. He had to wonder if it would be distracting, to do this and be done at the same time, but he figured he could concentrate if Jack could.

They lay there in that sixty-nine position, sucking at each other and fondling each other, hands wandering around to grab at each other's asses, pulling each other closer to take more in their mouths.

_God, I love him, _they both thought at the same time, completely wrapped up in each other. Jack had introduced Ennis to oral up on Brokeback, and after a while he'd been prepared to do it himself, despite his beliefs about his sexuality. But now there were no barriers between them, there was nothing he didn't want to try. He might be tying Jack up one of these days. And they would be together all day and all night in their own place soon enough, so they could do whatever they wanted.

Jack took in even more of him, his movements quick yet effective. Ennis responded in kind, taking in more of Jack, feeling each other starting to leak in their mouths as the pace increased. Their hands wandered away from each other's asses across the bed, finding each other and gripping tight in between them, feeling each other shake with excitement.

The pace quickened, both of them sucking enthusiastically and feeling themselves teetering over the edge, about to go over.

_Let's finish this together; _they tried to say in the grip of their hands. A few more quick strokes and they both exploded, wiping their thoughts clean as they tried to avoid choking; taking in everything the other had to give. Their bodies shuddered and then relaxed, Jack rolling onto his back and sighing in contentment, a dazed grin on his face.

Ennis shuffled up and laid his head on Jack's sweaty chest, stretching one arm across him, feeling Jack place his own arms around his shoulders and hugging him.

"Wow...that was...really somethin', Jack..." Ennis managed to breathe, feeling Jack's chest rise under his cheek.

Jack gave a little laugh. "Yeah...ain't never done each other at the same time, huh?"

"Yeah...guess there's a first time fer everythin'. How'd you even...?"

Jack shrugged. "I dunno. Just been thinkin' 'bout it. Wondered how it might feel. Done a lot of new stuff, ain't we?"

"Yeah...never thought you'd be tyin' me up, or that we'd be doin' it in the truck or nothin'..."

Jack looked down at him. "I ain't never scared ya or nothin', have I?" he asked, concerned.

Ennis patted his hand on Jack's chest. "Nah. Mighta been weird, some of it, at first, but...that's 'cos I ain't used to it. I ain't never been scared."

"Hmm...maybe we oughta come up with a safeword."

"A what, now?"

"Ya know...a word to say if it gets too much. Like...we agree on a word, an' when we try new stuff, if it gets too scary for ya, or it hurts or whatever, you say the word an' we stop. No harm done."

"Huh...might be an idea. Where'd you learn 'bout stuff like that?"

"Think I heard some guys talkin' in high school. 'Bout sex an' all that. They was talkin' 'bout them an' their girlfriends havin' safewords. That way you know when someone wants to stop. So whaddaya say?"

"Yeah, okay. So...what word you wanna use?"

Jack gave a lopsided grin. "What about sheep? That's a word we ain't never gonna use when we're havin' sex."

"Huh...well, if ya wanna do that, what about Aguirre? We ain't _never _gonna use that." Ennis replied, shuddering a little at the thought.

Jack laughed. "Sure ain't. Get a soft on just thinkin' 'bout it." This coaxed a laugh out of Ennis, shoulders shaking against Jack's chest.

"Well..." he started, rising up onto his elbow and looking down at Jack. "We can do somethin' 'bout that, right?" he whispered, making Jack shiver.

"Mmm...maybe..." he willingly pulled Ennis into his arms, kissing softly and sensuously. Ennis brought his hands up and to the back of Jack's neck, feeling his pulse, his heart beating for him. Jack wrapped his arms around his shoulders, crossing over as he melted into the feeling of being here with the love of his life. The night wore on as they continued to meet their own and each other's needs, finally snuggling together under the covers, heads full of dreams for the future.

* * *

><p>They made it to Casper the next day, and they'd agreed that Jack would drop Ennis off at Cecilia's house, and then go to Tom's workplace to see about the truck his workmate was selling. Tom worked on a small ranch just outside the town, and his workmate had bought himself a new truck, so was prepared to sell his old one cheap, he just wanted to be rid of it.<p>

Ennis knocked on the door of Cecilia's house and was greeted by his sister.

"Ennis!" she exclaimed. "Yer finally back!"

"Yep," Ennis replied as he followed her into the house and into the kitchen. "Just got in from Colorado today."

"Where's Jack?"

"He's gone to see Tom's friend 'bout that truck."

"Oh, right," she replied as she made them both coffee. "So...I understand yer off to Georgia?" she continued, a smile on her face.

Ennis gave a sideways grin. "Looks like it. Got a place an' money waitin' fer us, might as well take it."

"You comfortable with goin' so far?" she looked at him, worry on her face.

Ennis thought for a moment. "It is kinda scary, I guess. But...Jack gettin' hurt taught me that when you get chances like these, you gotta take 'em. An' I know it's a long way, but..." he looked up. "You guys can come an' visit, right?"

Cecilia smiled. "That'd be good. I think the kids would like that."

"Speakin' of which...where are they?" he asked, noticing for the first time that the house was rather quiet.

"Tom's sister's got 'em. She loves them to bits, has them a couple days a week. She, um..." she cleared her throat. "She an' her husband, they...they're havin' trouble with havin' kids of their own. They've been tryin' fer a few years, but no luck. The least we can do is let her look after ours a few times a week."

Ennis digested this information. "Huh...never really knew that people could have trouble with that. Thought it just...happened." He looked sympathetic. "How's she takin' it?"

Cecilia shrugged. "I dunno. She puts on this brave face to the world that everythin's alright, but...I can see it in her eyes, how deep she's feelin' affected."

"Huh...mighta seen Jack with a face like that sometimes. He looks like everythin's okay but I know it ain't."

"Yeah...I guess a lot of stuff happened down there in Texas, right? You seem different..." she studied his face closely.

Ennis fidgeted. He wasn't sure if he was comfortable discussing this with his sister, but he'd promised himself when he and Jack got together that he was going to own up to who he was. "I, uh...I did some thinkin' down there, 'specially when he got hurt."

"Like what?"

He shifted in his seat. "After...after our first night on Brokeback, I told him I wasn't queer. Thought I believed it, 'cos of Alma. Still didn't wanna talk about it even after we got together fer real. But...I did some thinkin'...I looked at some girls, to see if they did anythin' fer me, an'...nothin'. Different story when I look at Jack." He blushed, making Cecilia smile in affection.

"So you don't like girls...what about other guys?"

Ennis sighed. "I thought I would hafta look if I was gonna figure myself out, but...I didn't. Didn't wanna look. An' it don't matter. Jack's a guy, an' I'm in love with him. We're headin' off fer a home together, a life together. That's all that matters. I'm queer 'cos I love Jack." He said simply.

She nodded, impressed by her brother's bravery. "K.E. told me he called ya."

"Yeah. He's tryin', I'll give him that. Tryin' to get his head 'round it."

"I know. All you can do is give him time. He might come round eventually."

"I hope so. Jack feels guilty over us fallin' out. I told him it ain't his fault."

"It ain't. It's our daddy's fault fer turnin' ya against queer guys. An' fer makin' you fight an' hate each other. I heard ya, ya know. When you kept jumpin' him. I'm glad you ain't like that now. An' that's thanks to Jack, right?"

Ennis smiled. "Sure is."

They spent the next hour in the kitchen, Cecilia baking a pie and the pair of them talking about the ranch in Georgia and what Ennis and Jack's plans were. They'd decided that they would try some of everything: start off breeding cattle, for meat primarily. Then if that went well they would consider going into dairy, maybe even get some chickens. They could sell to other farmers or to butchers. They didn't know if they would get much business in Sandersville, but there was no harm in looking up in Atlanta and finding business there. Maybe one day they could even branch out to sell to people in neighbouring states. They figured they would have enough money to play around with a bit, see what worked for them.

Their talk was cut short by a soft knocking on the door.

"I bet that'll be Jack." said Ennis, standing up.

"Could you get that, then?" replied Cecilia, attending to the pie. Ennis left the kitchen and went to the front door. He opened it to reveal the person he had least expected to see.

"Alma?" he asked, completely shocked.

She smiled, firm in her belief that she would get him back. "Hi Ennis. I figured you might be here. Can I come in?"

"Um...sure..." he let her in, and she paused when she saw Cecilia, who looked equally surprised.

"Um, hi Alma. Nice to see you again." She offered.

"You too." Alma turned to Ennis. "Ennis, there's still time ya know."

"Time? Fer what?" he already had an idea where this was going.

"To save our weddin'! We can work through this, sweetheart."

Ennis remembered that Jack called him that name, with absolute devotion in his voice, so to hear it come from Alma made him very uncomfortable. "Alma...I told ya..."

"I know what you said," she replied, holding her hands up. "But...think about it...you can't really love her..."

_Oh God, she still thinks it's a woman. _"Alma...there's somethin' I gotta tell ya 'bout that..."

"It's okay, Ennis. I get it. She seduced you, simple as that. You don't really love her, you love me, remember? You proposed to me!"

"I know I did, an' honest, I thought I did love ya. But I'm sorry, I don't. I love...someone else." He just couldn't bring himself to disguise Jack as a girl.

She sighed, and sat herself down on the sofa. After a few minutes, she looked up at him.

"Tell me."

"What?"

"Tell me what happened. Tell me who she is. How it started. Everythin'. I wanna know what she has that I don't."

* * *

><p>Jack drove to the outskirts of town, to where he'd been told Tom worked as a ranch foreman on a small ranch. He whistled as he drove, thinking of Ennis and the home waiting for them in Georgia. He couldn't wait until they got there; they had so many plans, a number of things they wanted to try. Maybe they could do something that nobody else in the state did, find their niche, a gap in the market. That might be their best option for success.<p>

He found the ranch and got out. It was nice enough, a manageable size. He didn't know where Tom might be, but Tom was aware that he would be dropping by and had told the ranch's owner.

Jack wandered over to the stables, where he could just make out Tom talking to what seemed to be the owner. Tom turned and saw him approaching, and smiled in a friendly manner, attracting the attention of his companion.

"Hey, Tom." Jack greeted as he approached them, shaking his hand.

"Good to see you again, Jack. Where's Ennis?"

"He's back at yer house, talkin' to Cecilia. Came here to see 'bout that truck, if that's okay?"

"Sure. Jack, this is the owner of the ranch, James Livingston," he indicated James, who shook Jack's hand. "James, this is Jack Twist, a friend of my brother-in-law."

"Nice to meet ya, Jack. I better get back to the house." James tipped his hat and went off across the field.

"So, lemme introduce ya to the guy who's sellin' the truck, then." said Tom, indicating Jack to follow him into the stables. They stopped at the last stall, where an older man was brushing a horse's gleaming coat.

"Hey, Bill." said Tom. Bill looked around.

"Hey, Tom, what's goin' on?" he noticed Jack. "Who's this?"

"This is the guy I was tellin' ya about, the one who's interested in the truck. This is Jack Twist."

Jack stepped forward, offering his hand. "Howdy, nice to meet ya." Bill shook his hand.

"Likewise. So you wanna see the truck? I told James you'd be comin' by so he let me park it here till you got here. So we ain't messin' about goin' to my place. I still gotta work."

"I hear ya, friend. Shall we, then?"

Tom and Bill led Jack out of the stables and over to where the second hand truck was parked. Jack was very impressed. It was a deep blue colour, with some white here and there. Despite it being second hand, it appeared to be in very good condition.

He whistled. "Nice. How come yer sellin' it?"

Bill grinned. "James gave me a bonus few weeks back. Got myself a new one. Didn't wanna just get rid of it, might as well get some cash fer it."

"Guess so. How much you want fer it?"

Bill considered. "It was gonna be $400...but since yer a friend of a friend, I'll make it $350. Can't say fairer than that, it cost me $300 brand new."

Jack rubbed his chin, thinking. Between what he and Ennis had left and what Becky had loaned them, they could definitely afford it. And he knew he might not get such a good deal elsewhere. "You got yerself a deal, friend."

"Great. You're gonna need the papers, an' James said we could use his office."

"Sure."

Tom, Bill and Jack settled themselves in the office. Bill handed Jack the appropriate papers.

"I've done my bit, just need yer signature." He indicated where Jack should sign. After a skim through the small print, Jack signed his name where required and was handed a copy. He then pulled out the money and handed it over.

"Here ya go, $350."

"Great," smiled Bill. "Here's the keys." He said, passing them to Jack. They stood up and shook hands.

"Good to meet ya, Jack, an' do business with ya."

"Likewise." Jack felt relieved at having gotten a mode of transport that they could rely on to get to Georgia. They all jumped when the phone rang. Bill picked up.

"Hello, Livingston Ranch." A few seconds of silence. "Oh, hey Mrs Wilson," he said, looking up at Tom. "You callin' fer Tom?" he frowned as he listened, and then shook his head. Tom and Jack looked at each other in confusion. "Yeah, Jack's here. Yep, Jack Twist. Uh...okay."

He handed the receiver to Jack, who looked puzzled. "Hello?"

"Jack, it's me." Cecilia sounded worried.

"Hey, Cecilia, what's goin' on? Somethin' wrong? Is it Ennis?"

"No, nothin's really wrong, exactly...it's just...oh God, it's a mess."

"What? What is it?" his brow furrowed.

"It's Alma, Jack. She's here. She's got it in her head that she can save their weddin'. She wants to know what this other woman has that she don't. Ennis needs yer help."

Jack was shocked. Alma had turned up hoping to get Ennis back? And she thought that he was a woman? His rooted fears that Ennis would lose his nerve and leave him had long since evaporated; he no longer feared that Ennis would go back to Alma. But this wasn't going to be easy to fix. They might have to tell Alma the truth, just to get rid of her if nothing else.

"Uh, okay...I'm on my way." He hung up. "Guys, I, I gotta go." He looked at Tom, inclining with his head to follow him.

"What's goin' on?" asked Tom when they were outside, heading for the truck.

"Alma's turned up. Wants Ennis back. Thinks I'm a woman." Jack said, shaking his head. "Oh, shit!" he stopped, turning. "What about my old pickup? There's nothin' in it, we cleared it out, but..."

Tom put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry. We'll take care of that later. Just leave it here fer now. Go sort things out."

"Right, thanks Tom." replied Jack in relief, trying to smile. He got in the new truck and sped off back to the house, wondering what on earth he would find there.

* * *

><p>Cecilia hung up the phone and went back into the living room, where Ennis and Alma were still sat in silence. Ennis just didn't have a clue how to approach this, and Alma was looking at him expectantly.<p>

An image of Jack's beloved face flashed into his mind, seeming to give him the strength to speak up. He cleared his throat.

"Alma, I...I got a lot of explainin' to do..."

"My daddy said...you were with the one who you was workin' with up on Brokeback. An' now I think on it, you said the same thing. I didn't even know they hired girls fer jobs like that." She pursed her lips.

Ennis looked extremely nervous. "Well..."

"Who is she, Ennis? She's ruined my dream; I got a right to know who she is. Where is she now?"

"Thing is, Alma...name's Jack." He hoped she would pick up on this.

It went right over her head. "Jack? That short fer Jackie? Like Jackie Kennedy?"

Ennis sighed, as did Cecilia. Alma wasn't a dense person, it was clear that the idea of Ennis falling for a man had never entered her head. The idea of _any _man falling in love with another had clearly never entered her head.

"Uh...not quite, Alma. I fell fer the one I was workin' with up on Brokeback. Name's Jack. From up in Lightnin' Flat. We had us some troubles, now we're off fer our own place."

"Well this...this Jack or Jackie or whatever her name is...what's she got that I don't?"

A few things came to Ennis's mind, but they were all things that might not have been appropriate to discuss with his ex-fiancée.

He sighed, knowing that there was only one way to get the truth into Alma's head – say it bluntly.

He leaned forward. "Alma, listen to me. I'm with the person they sent me up on Brokeback with. It...it ain't a girl, Alma. It's a guy. His name's Jack. I've fallen in love with him. He's gone gettin' us a new truck. Tomorrow we'll be leavin' Wyomin', probably fer good. Got us our own ranch."

Alma sat there, an expression of great confusion on her face. "But...Ennis, you...you ain't...like that..."

He sighed and nodded. "I am, Alma. I'm queer. An' I'm sorry I've hurt ya."

Alma stood up. "No, you...you can't be queer. You proposed to me! You love me!"

"I'm sorry, Alma. I don't. I proposed 'cos I thought it was what I wanted, what I was supposed to do. But it ain't what I want now. I wanna be with Jack."

Alma could feel her entire world crashing down around her. Ennis was in a relationship with another man, this Jack. Anger crept in. "When's he comin' back?" she asked in a low voice.

"I dunno. Soon, I guess."

"I wanna see him. I wanna make him sorry fer ruinin' my life."

Ennis stood up. "Alma, I can't let ya do that. I ain't lettin' ya start on him."

Her eyes became clouded with rage. "Don't you _dare _tell me what to do, Ennis! He's ruined everythin', an' I'll treat him however I want. He's turned you away from me, led you into sinnin'!" Comprehension dawned on her face. "Oh...you sleep with him don't you?" She covered her hands with her mouth, looking nauseous.

Ennis had gotten better at keeping his temper in check since getting together with Jack, but he couldn't deny he was a little pissed off at Alma's insistence to stay and, in his opinion, make things worse. But the other side of him said that Alma had a right. She was hurt and betrayed; she needed to get this out.

He nearly had heart failure when he heard a knocking on the door. He swiftly moved towards it, and opened it to see Jack's very worried expression. Jack searched his face for answers, and Ennis tried to give him a warning look that all was not well.

Ennis led Jack into the house, where he and Alma immediately locked eyes, sizing each other up like a pair of wolves.

"Who's this, Ennis?" Alma asked coldly, eyes narrowed, arms folded.

Ennis, Jack and Cecilia exchanged a nervous look, anticipating the carnage that might be about to follow. "Uh, Alma...this is Jack Twist."

Alma's eyes widened, and her face went slack for a moment, probably in shock with coming face to face with the man who she'd just heard all these things about. But then it was quickly replaced by a dark look of anger. If Jack hadn't had Ennis by his side, he might have quailed under that look.

_Jesus, _Ennis thought to himself. _If looks could kill._

"Jack..." she repeated. "The man, who...who..."

"Yeah." Ennis said quietly. Her face screwed up, tears gathering at her eyes.

"I can't believe this..."

"Look, Alma..." Jack started, hoping to at least try to offer an olive branch. Big mistake.

"Don't you dare talk to me, you filthy queer! You've gone an' corrupted the man I love, turned him to yer sinnin' ways, gonna send him straight to hell when he dies, an' you can bet yer goin' with him!" she stepped back, glaring daggers at Jack, who sprang back next to Ennis at the outburst.

"Alma, I..."

"No, Ennis! I don't wanna hear it! You've gone an' turned yer back from what's decent, what's right! What's it gonna get ya? You can't get married, can't have kids!"

"I know that, but we...we're gonna live together. Have a business."

She shook her head, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "They're gonna kill ya! Both of ya! An' all so you can sin? It ain't worth it!"

Ennis looked at Jack, thinking about everything they'd been through, and what they hoped to have. He knew that Alma was wrong.

"It is worth it, Alma." He turned back to face her, taking Jack's hand and gripping it tight. "It is worth it. Even if we only get a year before they get us, it'll be worth it. At least we'll die happy." He felt Jack squeezing his fingers.

Alma looked at their clasped hands, and in that sight, she knew she had lost. It was too late to save him. She looked up.

"Fine. You win," she said venomously to Jack. "You got him into this mess, you can deal with it. I hope you get yerself killed! It's what ya deserve fer doin' this to him! Jack Twist...Jack Nasty!" she cried out, running for the door.

All three of them breathed a sigh of relief, yet Jack removed his hand from Ennis's and sat on the couch, head in his hands. Cecilia went into the kitchen, leaving Ennis to sit next to Jack, knowing that Alma's words had cut him deep. He put a hand on Jack's back but Jack shied away.

"Leave me alone, Ennis."

Ennis looked confused. "Jack?" He'd figured that Jack would need some comfort, he hadn't expected this reaction.

Jack looked up at him, looking far older than his nineteen years. He looked older, weary. "I just...I just need some space." He got up to go to the bathroom, leaving Ennis feeling helpless, not knowing how to fix this.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day passed in an uncomfortable silence. A dark cloud seemed to have descended over the house after Alma's outburst at Jack, who after finishing in the bathroom, had spent most of the day in the spare bedroom. Dinner had been very subdued when Tom came home, leaving Cecilia to relay to him what had happened.<p>

Jack had sat in silence, an expression of great sorrow in his eyes. Ennis looked at him a few times, trying to start a conversation, but he just couldn't seem to do it. He was in agony, having to wait until that night when they were alone.

Ennis entered the spare bedroom that night to see Jack lying in bed on his side, face turned away. He undressed, figuring Jack had fallen asleep, until he saw Jack's shoulders shaking a little, and a few sharp gasps told him that Jack was crying. He immediately leaned over Jack, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Jack? You okay?"

Jack took a few breaths. "Tell me it's worth it. Tell me it's worth it, knowin' we're goin' to hell fer it."

Ennis sighed. He wished that Jack hadn't taken Alma's parting words to heart, but he had, so he had to deal with it, had to make Jack feel better.

He shuffled closer, mouth close to Jack's ear. "It is worth it, darlin', I told her earlier. Told her it is, even if we don't get long."

"But...what if..."

"If they come fer us..." Ennis whispered, "At least we'll die knowin' what love feels like, knowin' how it feels to be happy. At least we'll have had a damn good life, no matter how short it is."

Tears continued to leak from Jack's eyes onto the pillow and sheets, as he let Ennis's words wash over him. Ennis was right; it would have been worth it. But he just couldn't shake off that need for reassurance that Ennis was prepared to work past his fears.

"You ever wish...you never met me? If you hadn't...you woulda had a normal life..."

"Jack...don't go sayin' that...I ain't never wished I never met you. You helped me figure out who I am. If I hadn't met ya, I woulda gone through life feelin' miserable an' not knowin' why." He continued to rub a hand along Jack's arm in comfort, caressing him gently. All he could do, all he had ever been able to do when Jack was feeling vulnerable, was give him comfort, let him know he was there. He wanted to wrap Jack up in his arms and keep him there forever. This gave him an idea as the shirts entered his mind, and he stored it away for later.

Jack sniffed but his crying had stopped, and he was only slightly shaking. "It's just...what Alma said earlier...can't get married, can't have kids, probably goin' to hell...I hope you think it's worth all that, everythin' you gave up when you picked me. I took yer whole life from ya that night. Everythin' you had goin' for ya. I need to know it's worth it, Ennis. I need to know...it ain't gonna get too much for ya...an' that you ain't gonna leave..."

His voice broke with emotion with these last words, and Ennis finally understood what Jack was so upset about. He was scared that at some point, Ennis would tire of not being able to have those things, so he would leave and find someone who he could share those things with. He had a suspicion that Jack wasn't fully secure in the knowledge that their love and what they had meant a whole lot more to Ennis than being able to get married and have kids. He wanted Jack, on so many levels, transcending far beyond sex. He wanted to share a rich, full life with him, join them both together in some way so that they could never be parted. He didn't know how they might achieve this, but he knew that it was the truth.

He sighed, knowing what Jack needed right now. They'd never really had comfort sex before, not on this level, but Jack needed caring for, needed to feel loved and safe. And Ennis was happy to provide, he wanted to care for him and give him comfort.

"C'mere..." he whispered, gently pulling Jack onto his back and leaning over him. Their eyes met, Jack's face covered in tear tracks and cheeks flushed. He seemed to know what Ennis was trying to do and he appreciated it, he knew he needed the care and the comfort.

Ennis looked at him in pity, then leaned down and kissed Jack ever so softly, feeling Jack desperately kiss him back, needing what he wanted to give.

"Show me." Jack whispered, voice a little croaky from his crying. "Show me how much you love me."

Ennis nodded, Jack's face in his hands. "I'll try, darlin'." He continued to kiss Jack as he straddled him, pressing his full weight onto Jack, whose ribs were pretty much back to normal by now. He could practically feel Jack's vulnerability in the way he kissed him back.

He rose onto his knees and traced his hands along Jack's chest, feeling Jack's hands run up his forearms, clearly trying not to let his fragile emotions overcome him again. Ennis took the tub from the bedside table and prepared himself, then put it back, all as Jack watched him from within those deep blue eyes, under those dark lashes. If eyes really were the window to the soul, then Jack must be feeling very fragile and in great need of comfort.

Ennis leaned back over Jack, tangling their bodies together under the warm covers as he pressed himself forward, sliding inside him as slowly and as tenderly as he could, feeling Jack wrap his legs around his waist, gripping tightly. Jack's hands were now on his shoulders, also gripping. They gazed into each other's eyes, Jack searching for reassurance, Ennis trying to convey it. Ennis cupped Jack's neck with both hands and kissed him again as he started a slow, gentle rhythm. The last time they'd been this slow and gentle was probably the first time Jack had been on top, and Jack had been so good to him that night, so now he was trying his best to return the favour.

Jack's head fell back to the pillow as he raised his hips in time, meeting his companion's thrusts and feeling Ennis duck his head to kiss his sweaty chest, then rubbing his hands along it again, massaging it, running his fingers through the dark hair, trying with all his might to make Jack feel good, help his tension and upset melt away.

Jack moved his hands from Ennis's shoulders as they continued to move together in perfect rhythm, finding Ennis's fingers and lacing both sets together with his own, squeezing gently. Their mouths met and Jack finally responded with more enthusiasm, eagerly letting their tongues meet, curling around each other, exploring each other's mouths.

With a few more thrusts, Ennis finally hit that sweet spot, thrusting into it enthusiastically as Jack moaned with pleasure, head hitting the pillow and his face taken over by a look of absolute bliss. Ennis saw that look and knew his attempts had had some success. Another few thrusts and they were both over the edge, holding on tight as they climaxed together, breathing heavily, and sweating profusely.

Their bodies relaxed and Ennis rolled off Jack onto his side, watching Jack for signs that his plan had worked. Jack turned to face him, a big, heart-warming smile on his face. Ennis smiled back, pleased that he was capable of doing this for Jack.

Jack shuffled close and Ennis drew him into his arms as he so wanted to, holding him close as Jack's head lay on his chest.

"Thank you." Jack murmured. "Thank you so much."

Ennis stroked his hair. "Anytime, darlin'." He kissed the top of Jack's head as they felt themselves being drawn into sleep, knowing that nothing, and nobody, could come between them. Whatever happened, they would always be there for each other.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

The atmosphere in the house the next morning was a stark contrast to the atmosphere the previous evening. Jack was back to normal after the comfort from Ennis the night before, and he seemed determined not to let Alma's words get to him. Ennis had told him that what they had together was worth whatever they might suffer for it, and he was doing his best to have faith in Ennis's words.

The four of them were having a big breakfast together, then Ennis and Jack would set off for Georgia. Jack mentioned that they still needed to get rid of the old pickup, and between him and Tom it was agreed that Tom would take it down to the garage and let them have it, strip it for parts. Ennis and Jack declined to accompany him there; they knew that mechanics worked with tire irons and those were the last things they wanted to see.

"So, guys," said Tom as they ate breakfast. "How long will it take you to get to Georgia?"

Ennis and Jack looked at each other. "Um, dunno really. It's over a thousand miles. We'll probably take a few days to get there. Probably split it in a few parts, stay at a motel overnight after a few hours."

Tom nodded. "So all ya gotta do is go to the solicitor's office?"

"Yep," replied Jack, nodding. "That's what my mama said. Speakin' of which," he waved a fork in Ennis's direction. "I wanna call her before we set off, probably Becky too."

"Okay."

"You guys got a name fer yer ranch?" asked Cecilia. The pair of them looked at each other again.

"Uh..." Jack didn't know what to say. Of all the things they'd discussed about their ranch, the name was probably the only thing that they hadn't thought of. "Dunno, really. We ain't ever talked about it."

"I had an idea." Ennis said softly, looking up and biting his lip.

"Yeah?"

He took a deep breath and looked at Jack. "I was thinkin'...maybe...Brokeback Ranch?"

Jack felt his heart practically burst with happiness, and couldn't stop a wide grin spreading across his face. It was just so...perfect. They would be a long distance away from the mountain, and the name would be a perfect way of remembering how all this had started.

"Damn, cowboy," he said breathlessly, sticking a finger in his eye to stop the tears. "You caught me off-guard with that one."

Ennis grinned a little guiltily. "Sorry 'bout that."

"No, I like it. It's perfect." Jack smiled, taking Ennis's hand where it lay on the table. Despite the presence of his sister and brother-in-law, Ennis didn't remove his hand, and he didn't need to. Tom and Cecilia were looking at them with affection, neither of them batted an eyelid when Jack took Ennis's hand, they thought it was perfectly natural. They had to at least try and repair some of the damage caused by Alma's visit.

"Need some help with that?" asked Ennis as he brought the last of the breakfast dishes over to Cecilia after breakfast.

"No, it's okay. Go sit with Jack." He kissed her on the cheek and went into the living room, where Jack was dialling his home number.

Ennis sat next to him and put an arm around his shoulders, Jack stretching the cord between them.

"Hello?"

"Hey, ma, it's me."

"Jack! Lovely to hear from you. Where are you?"

"We're at Ennis's sister's house; we're gonna be leavin' fer Georgia in about an hour."

"That's great, sweetheart. I bet yer excited."

"We sure are, ma." Ennis lazily ran his hand in circles across Jack's back as he smiled.

"Hope you have a safe trip. Jack...would it be okay if...I visited you sometime? When yer settled?"

Jack got a lump in his throat. "I'd like that, ma. That'd be great. Ya know, we...we was thinkin' of invitin' Becky sometime. Maybe you could both visit at the same time."

Silence on the line, making both of them sigh inwardly. Same story with both women, claiming that they always liked each other, yet clamming up when either of them were mentioned.

"That'd be nice." Said Rose in a strained voice. "Be good to see her again."

"Yeah. So...I'll call you when we get there, okay?"

"Sure. Good luck, both of ya."

"Thanks, ma. Love ya."

"Love you too, son."

Jack hung up and looked at Ennis with a look of exasperation in his face. They were no nearer to solving this mystery than they had been a little while ago, when they had first suspected that something was wrong.

Jack sighed and picked up the phone again, dialling the number on a piece of paper Becky had given him.

"Hello?"

"Hey Becky, it's Jack."

"Jack! Good to hear yer voice. How are ya?"

"We're great. Settin' off fer Georgia in about an hour. How're you?"

"Well..." Becky's voice had a certain tone to it, that she had something very exciting to tell them. "You'll never guess what happened!"

"What?"

The smile was evident in her voice. "Andy told me he loves me! It's the first time he's ever said it!"

Jack grinned. "Honey, that's great! Do you love him?"

"You know what? I think I do. He's just...when we're together, I just...it feels right, ya know? I've seen you with Ennis, an' it looks right. You said it feels right when yer with him. That's how it feels fer me when I'm with Andy."

"That's great. It's a great feelin', ain't it, when someone tells you they love you?" Jack smiled at Ennis as he said this, linking Ennis's fingers with his own.

"It sure is, Jack. Best I've ever felt. How did you feel, when Ennis said it the first time?"

Jack met Ennis's eyes, warm and soft. "I don't think I got the words, Becky. Don't think there _are _words. Just...never been so happy in all my life." Ennis went red as Jack said this, thinking about that long ago day in Signal, when he'd confessed to Jack how he felt.

"Yeah. There ain't no words. Anyway, I...I gotta go. Gonna do some more trainin' fer the next rodeo."

"Alright. I'll call ya from Georgia."

"Yep. Speak soon, Jack. Give my best to Ennis."

"Will do, see ya."

Jack hung up once more, and turned back to Ennis, finding himself being swept up into Ennis's arms and kissed passionately. They rose from the sofa and banged their way through the living room, heading for the spare bedroom. They could postpone their departure for a little while.

* * *

><p>Sometime later, a little later than they had planned, Ennis and Jack were setting off for Georgia at last. Having studied their map of North America and worked out how long it might take them to get there, which was over a day without stopping, they agreed that they would drive to Hutchinson in Kansas, arriving at ten at night, planning to spend the night in a motel. The next day they would drive to Memphis, Tennessee. They figured they could set off a little later, arriving around nine. Then the third day, they would make the final push for Georgia, figuring that if they set off early, they could arrive while the solicitor's office was still open, presumably meaning that they would be sleeping in their own bed at the ranch that evening. The drive was very long so they thought it would be better to break it down like this.<p>

They were packed and Ennis was loading bags into the truck. It was agreed that he would drive the truck to Kansas, then Jack would drive to Tennessee, and they would switch once more to Georgia. Ennis had protested at being the first to drive Jack's new truck, until Jack told him to knock it off, insisting that the truck was theirs. He was determined to buy his own once they were settled.

The black cloud from Alma's visit had passed over completely and Jack was his normal sweet, joking self, the Jack that Ennis had fallen in love with. Of course, he would always love Jack, even when he was in a foul mood or upset. He'd made his promises to Jack in his heart at least, and tried his best to convey them to Jack. He would stick with Jack even if things got tough for them.

Tom and Cecilia's children were back from their Aunt's and while they were sad to see Ennis and Jack leave again so soon, they were promised that once they were settled, they could come and visit with their parents, and Ennis and Jack said they would teach them how to ride and would let them have a tour of the ranch.

Ennis went back into the spare room to see where Jack had got to, finding him sat on the edge of the bed, shoulders hunched, and hands on either side of him. Ennis got on the bed behind him and crawled up to him, wrapping his arms around him.

"Hey," he whispered, trying to see Jack's face. "You okay?"

Jack wiped his eyes. "Yeah, I just..." he turned to face Ennis, a grin on his face. "I just can't believe this is all really happenin'. Everythin' we've been through...now it's time..."

Ennis smiled, stroking Jack's cheek. "I know. Couldn't have seen this comin'...yet here we are." He pulled Jack close, hugging him tight. They'd certainly had an interesting few months, during and after Brokeback. Mostly positive things, but more than a few negatives, things that had, in the long run, done them some good, but nothing they wanted to repeat in a hurry. Jack's physical scars had healed but it would be a while before the mental ones would, especially for Ennis. Their new home was over a thousand miles away, who knows what might be waiting for them at the other end? They at least knew that they were going to have a life together, but they couldn't wait to discover what it might bring.

After a few minutes of holding each other, Ennis reluctantly broke away. "C'mon, darlin'. If we don't move now we'll never get on the road." Jack sighed and reluctantly got up, smiling.

"Got everythin'?" he asked, looking around.

"I think so. If not, I guess we could just ask Cecilia to pass it on." Jack nodded in agreement.

They left the spare bedroom and entered the living room to find it empty, and the open kitchen door told them the kitchen was empty too. They moved towards the open front door to see Tom, Cecilia and the children waiting for them.

"Hey guys," said Jack, a little confused. "What's goin' on?"

"We wanted to say goodbye." replied Cecilia, smiling. The children hugged Ennis and Jack tightly, telling them that they couldn't wait to visit and that they were looking forward to it. Tom shook hands with both of them, telling Jack he was proud to call him a brother-in-law, which made both him and Ennis blush. He told Ennis the same thing, and that once they were settled, he would get in touch with his cousin, Adam, so that the four of them could arrange a meeting. He'd told Adam and his partner a lot about Ennis and Jack and they couldn't wait to meet them. Ennis was apprehensive about meeting another gay couple, trying not to believe the stereotypes that he'd been brought up with, and Tom reassured him that they weren't like what he might be thinking.

Cecilia was last to say goodbye. When hugging Jack, she whispered in his ear more words of thanks for making her brother happier than she had ever seen him.

"He makes me happier than I've ever been in my life." He whispered back. She patted his cheek and turned to Ennis, who looked a little sad at leaving his sister again. She smiled in sympathy and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"Good luck, little brother. Hope everythin' goes well for you two. Look after each other."

"We will," he murmured back. "Thanks, sis." She pulled away; a few tears in her eye at watching her baby brother get started on a life of his own.

With a few more goodbyes and lingering smiles, Ennis and Jack finally made it into the truck, looking at each other and clasping their hands between them as Casper slowly melted away from them. They felt like they were in that classic scene from cowboy movies where the two leads walked or rode off into the sunset, into the unknown that awaited them.

* * *

><p>Ennis and Jack were well on their way to Hutchinson, Kansas, having spent a few hours on the road, talking, reminiscing about Brokeback, and singing along to the radio.<p>

Jack stretched and looked out the window at the landscape, watching the plains roll by. They'd been interested at first, at these new sights, but after a while of the same things they'd grown bored and turned to each other for companionship, the irony of which was not lost on them.

"Hey, Ennis?" Jack asked, leaning back and turning his head to face him.

"Yeah?"

"What ya said before, 'bout callin' it Brokeback Ranch...did ya really mean it?" He couldn't stop thinking about how perfect the name would be, and he couldn't believe that Ennis had come up with it. Ennis was not the same person he had been in May, but at the same time, he was. He had changed, but for the better.

Ennis smiled at him. "Sure. It's like with the watch. No matter where we go, we got things to remind us of where we're from...but also of how this all started."

Jack grinned and took his hand, stroking it with his thumb. "Yer right, cowboy. Ain't never gonna forget Brokeback."

Ennis shifted his hand and laced his fingers with Jack's, squeezing them. "Nope. Never."

They fell into silence again, listening to the radio and whatever song was playing, they didn't know it.

"I got a question." said Ennis after some time.

"Okay."

He shifted uncomfortably. "Um...that first night...what exactly was ya doin'? When ya grabbed my hand? I thought you put it on ya 'cos ya wanted to have sex, but...I been thinkin'...if that's what ya wanted, how come ya put it there an' not on yer ass or somethin'? Or how come ya didn't put yer hand on me?" he looked at Jack. He wouldn't get angry at Jack's response, not now, but he was curious.

Jack mulled this over. "I, uh...I dunno. You know I was in a mess over Joel an' everythin'...an' then I started havin' feelins' fer you...I dunno what I wanted. I dunno if I even wanted to have sex that night. I just...wanted yer hands on me. Maybe I thought we could jerk each other off or somethin'...I dunno, Ennis. I really don't." He met Ennis's eyes. He honestly didn't know what he'd been expecting that night. He wasn't entirely sure why he'd grabbed Ennis's hand and put it there, of all places. Having Ennis lying next to him like that had been turning him on; he hadn't been able to help himself.

Ennis nodded, believing him. It was clear in his eyes that he truly hadn't known what he'd been doing, or why. Paired with the fact that he'd been looking for something, that he now knew to have been love, Jack had simply been a little confused, knowing he wanted something, but not knowing what, and the fact that he'd been lying next to someone who he'd been attracted to right from the start. It was understandable that he'd acted the way he had.

"Alright, darlin'. I can see it in yer eyes. Won't bring it up again." He answered, squeezing Jack's fingers again. Jack smiled in gratitude. The less he thought about his conflicting feelings before that first night the better.

"I got one fer you, Ennis." He said.

"Yeah?"

Jack bit his lip. "That second night...knowin' what I know now 'bout Earl an' Rich...I gotta say, I'm impressed that you came to me that night. You didn't hafta let it carry on...but ya did. Bet that took some balls, huh?"

"Sure did...wasn't easy...sittin' out there...watchin' you take yer shirt off...got hard pretty quick." Ennis blushed as he said this, which Jack found very endearing. "How come you took yer shirt off before I came in, anyway?"

Jack shrugged. "Well, I...I think...I wanted to just...ease ya in, ya know? Let ya get used to the whole thing of bein' there with me. We couldn't do what we did the night before, I knew that. I wasn't used to havin' someone inside me an' I wasn't ready fer it again so soon, an' you...I knew straight off that no way you was ready fer that. So I just thought...one thing at a time. Took my shirt an' boots off...decided the jeans could wait. I gotta tell ya, friend, loved gettin' naked with ya that night," he smirked. "You got a fine body." Ennis blushed even more.

"Was a good night, huh?" he replied softly. "I always thought that...if someone ever told me I'd be doin' somethin' like that...gettin' naked with a guy an'...kissin' an' stuff...I'd probably kill 'em."

"What made ya come into the tent, knowin' how scared ya was?"

"I dunno...I think...I couldn't stop thinkin' 'bout how it felt...bein' inside ya. I figured we couldn't do that again so soon, but...I loved bein' there with ya, rough as it was. I, uh...I wanted to...know more, I guess. I'd wondered...how it might feel...to do some more of the gentle stuff, ya know? Like kissin'...you got some awful soft lips, Jack..." he raised his head to see a grinning Jack, pleased with this compliment.

"So you was curious? You wondered how it might feel to kiss me? Hold me?"

"Yeah, I guess..."

"How did it measure up?" Jack asked with a sideways grin.

Ennis went red again, mouth hitching up at the corners. "It was...really somethin'." Kinda threw me a little when I saw that yer cut, until ya explained it. Didn't know they did that. Felt sorry fer ya." He looked at Jack, expression sorrowful.

"S'alright. I don't even remember it, I was only a baby. Don't worry 'bout it. 'Sides," Jack answered, scooting closer. "I got me a man with a big piece of meat on him, plenty fer me..." he whispered, kissing Ennis behind his ear, making him shiver.

"Fuck, Jack."

"Not 'till we get to the motel. Don't wanna go runnin' off the road. We can fuck later." Jack said matter-of-factly, making Ennis shake his head in amusement.

* * *

><p>When they got to a motel, Jack made good on his statement and pretty soon, he and Ennis were buck naked on the bed, writhing against each other and moaning, lips crushing against each other as they both strained for release. There wasn't any penetration, they were just rubbing against each other in impatience, needing skin-to-skin contact but not having the patience to go through the full motions.<p>

Jack wrapped his arms around Ennis and pulled him even closer, groins locked together as they kissed, Ennis's own hands running uncontrollably over his chest, through the dark hair. Ennis pulled back, breathing heavily as he looked into Jack's eyes, both sets dark with desire as they bore into one another. His curly hair was dark with sweat and hanging over his eyes as he took in Jack's beloved features. Jack's own hair was plastered to his forehead as he also panted; taking in some much needed air. Neither of them had the energy to speak so instead elected to continue kissing passionately.

They rubbed together even more frantically as they tried to reach that place, the place where it felt they were the only two people in the world, as they had done up on Brokeback where they had owned the world and nothing seemed wrong. It always felt like that when they climaxed together, they'd never experienced anything like it.

They strained higher and higher, rubbing their sweaty bodies together as they tried to achieve that state, finally doing so, hitting dizzying heights simultaneously. Jack's body arched right off the bed, taking Ennis up with him as they rode it out, clinging onto each other for dear life, faces buried in each other's necks.

They eventually finished and collapsed in a heap, a tangle of arms and legs, seeing stars before their eyes and waiting for their senses to catch up with them. They loved it when they had these mind-blowing encounters, hitting that place at the same time with such ferocity.

"Damn." Jack breathed, that one word somehow summing up what had just happened.

"Yeah..." Ennis panted, incapable of moving, just letting his body rise as Jack breathed underneath him.

Jack wrapped his arms around Ennis once more, but in a loving embrace instead of a passionate clinch. Neither of them could move much more but that was okay, they felt like they could lie here forever and be content.

"Jack?" Ennis whispered, feeling Jack's heartbeat under his cheek. The regular rhythm always calmed him.

"Yeah?"

"Ya think...ya think it's always gonna be this good? Like...when we get older? We ain't gonna have as much energy, an'..." Ennis trailed off. He wasn't worried about this issue, but curious as to whether or not they would have this kind of energy when age started to affect their bodies.

Jack began absent-mindedly twirling a curl around his finger, considering this question. "I dunno, bud...I'd like to say 'hell no, we're always gonna be like this', but...now that ya mention it...an' when we get the ranch runnin'...we're gonna be workin' all day...probably ain't gonna have as much energy then, either..."

"Huh..." Ennis mulled this over. Jack had a point.

"But...on the other hand...we can be more gentle, ya know? Take it slow...an' tender, like. Ain't that better? It ain't just fuckin'...we're...makin' love, ya know?"

"I know...just a thought I had. But yer right, it is better...I do like it better when we do that...but ya gotta admit that just now...was really somethin', huh?"

"Sure was. Notice how we lifted right off the bed just now? Ain't done that fer a bit."

"That was you. You lifted right off, I just came off with ya. Thought you was gonna throw me or somethin'..." Ennis replied in an amused voice.

"Now that would be fun..." Jack grinned. Ennis just rolled his eyes.

Another mischievous thought crept into Jack's mind. "Hey...know what? Can't wait to get in a proper bed at that place. These lumpy mattresses ain't no good. Wanna get you into a real bed, comfy mattress."

"Mmm...that sounds good...maybe we can, uh...try new stuff..."

Jack smiled. "I was just thinkin' 'bout what we could do to christen the bed...maybe we should get some whipped cream..."

Completely clueless, Ennis rose off Jack's chest and gave him a puzzled look. "Whipped cream? What the hell fer?" Jack pulled him close and whispered in his ear his intended use of whipped cream, making his eyes widen and groin stir at the very thought.

He gulped as he pulled away, giving Jack a weak smile as his head filled with images. "Well, uh...that sounds...different..."

Jack smiled innocently. "Know what else I was thinkin' of?"

_Oh God, what now?_ Ennis noticed the gleam in Jack's eyes.

"I was thinkin'...after a long, hard day workin', know what we'll need?"

"What?"

"Massages. Real nice long ones. Work out some of those knots, ya know? An' I know we ain't got no problem touchin' each other."

"Huh...that sounds good, I guess."

Jack nodded. "They sell oils an' stuff to make it better. We could get some." He plunged ahead, hoping the last part of his speech would work as he hoped. "I could do you..." he started, kissing one side of Ennis's neck. "Then you could do me..." he kissed the other.

"Then what?" Ennis whispered, feeling his skin practically burn with renewed longing where Jack had kissed him. Jack was fully aware of the effect he was having, but he wasn't done having fun with Ennis.

"Then..." Jack pulled back, looking deep into Ennis's eyes. "Then...when we're done...we could, uh..." he paused for effect, running a hand across Ennis's chest. "We could press ourselves together...an' rub...an' our smooth, slippery bodies would writhe together...the oil would run over our skin an' mix together-"

Jack couldn't finish, for his words had the effect he was after, Ennis's lips cutting off whatever else he'd been planning to say. His lips, body and then his brain were otherwise occupied for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>Becky sat in the chair and dialled the number once more, sighing as she did so, wondering how on earth she had the courage to keep doing this. Every time she did, she was filled with apprehension about who would answer.<p>

She bit her lip as she listened to the rings, hoping that Rose would pick up.

"Hello?" a gruff voice answered, unmistakeable.

Her whole body filled up with rage as she realised who she was talking to, memories of her childhood flooding to the front of her brain from that part where she'd kept them locked away. She was just glad that the most painful memories were too long ago to recall.

"Um..." she stammered.

"This is John Twist speakin'. Who's this?"

"Uh...is Rose there? I'm a...a friend."

"She's out at church. Who are ya?"

She took a deep breath. Ennis and Jack had displayed bravery when they decided to be together and try to make things work, maybe she could show a little bravery too, especially to this bully.

"I'm Becky Twist. Yer niece." She said the last two words firmly.

She knew her declaration had shocked the old man, and she knew damn well why, they both did.

"Oh...my brother's girl?"

Becky snorted at this, but simply said, "Yeah. I'm callin' fer Rose. Know when she'll be back?"

"'Bout an hour. You, uh...you seen Jack down there?"

She bristled, remembering exactly how John had treated Jack when they were younger, and knowing about the failed plot to harm him and Ennis. "Ain't none of yer business."

"It is. Boy's my son. Family."

Becky's blood was boiling by now at this statement. "Family? How can you talk about family after what you did? I know what happened! I know what happened when they-"

"Don't say their names!"

"Why not? He was family too!"

"He stopped bein' family when he ran off with that queer!"

"Who are you talkin' 'bout there, John? Him or Jack?"

"Both," John hissed down the phone. "Both of them done no good. Coulda had family but it wasn't good enough! Broke my mother's heart when he left!"

"And did you even stop to think about the circumstances? She'd already died when he left! He didn't abandon her! I know the full story."

"He was cheatin' on her. Fer twenty years. While me an' my brother was growin' up!"

"I'm not sayin' what he did was right. But he couldn't help it, he fell in love! Just like your son!"

"Yeah, an' he paid fer it, just like Jack will."

Becky seethed. "I know about you tryin' to get Ennis an' Jack killed. I can't believe you'd do that to yer own son!"

"Ain't the first time I took care of a queer in the family." John whispered darkly.

Becky gasped, putting a hand to her mouth. She hadn't been expecting that.

"You mean...?"

"Yep. He deserved it, too." John spat out.

"I can't believe this. Ennis an' Jack have been askin' me why I won't talk to Rose, but they got no idea that she ain't my problem. It's _you _that's my problem, John Twist!"

"You wanna talk a bit more with respect to a man?" he asked angrily.

"You lost my respect years ago when me an' Jack were growin' up, an' he came to me after a beatin'! I gave him a shoulder to cry on, an' I know he missed that when we moved. I'm glad he's got Ennis to look after him now. What little respect I had left for you vanished last year when I found out what happened!"

"I'm still family." he replied venomously.

She was silent for a moment, pondering just how untrue she felt that statement was. He might be her father's brother, but he was no longer family to her. "You ain't." she said simply.

"What?"

"I don't count you as family no more. Not last year, an' certainly not now. He was my family too, an' so's Jack. That ain't how I wanna see my family treated!"

"It's done now. Ain't yer concern now."

"How do you think Jack will feel about this when he finds out? How do you think _Ennis _will feel?"

"What's it gotta do with him?"

"His father helped." She bit out.

"Huh. Too many queers all in one place. Can't end up no good for 'em. Deserve what they get."

Becky slammed the phone down at this. She would not hear this abuse directed towards her family, her real family. She and John may be related by blood, but that didn't make him her family because she didn't have any love for him like she did for her other family members. Her family included her parents, Jack (and by extension, Ennis) and various relatives from back home.

She hesitated in her train of thought. Did she count Rose as family? She sure wanted to, all things considered, and she hadn't done anything wrong. But if she counted Rose, did she have to extend that to John too? He wasn't family as far as she was concerned. He'd severed his tie to the family eighteen years ago, or as she now knew, probably even ten years ago.

Just over an hour later, Rose called her to ask if she was okay, and they ended up talking for a while, mainly about Ennis and Jack and their moving plans, voicing their hopes that the forthcoming Brokeback Ranch would do well in Georgia.

When Becky went to bed that night, she felt certain that she could in fact count Rose as family, but that didn't mean she had to do the same for John. She had a perfectly wonderful family without him, and her closest family member was probably halfway to Georgia by now, a loving partner by his side, hopefully not heading towards the same fate as that poor old man, dead in a ditch for daring to love another man, as if he could control it. Some things were beyond control.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

A few days later, Ennis and Jack finally crossed the border to Georgia, heading south east towards Sandersville. It was almost 4 in the afternoon and they hoped that the solicitor's office would still be open. If not, they would simply have to find a motel for the night. It wouldn't be so bad if this was the case, they could always wander around the city and maybe get some dinner.

They drove into the city, which was still fairly busy owing to its large population. It was not unlike Loveland in Colorado, which they had noted would be a good place to settle near due to its city attitude. They might just find a little bit more tolerance here.

They found the solicitor's office and got out of the truck. Jack tried to turn the door handle, only to find it locked.

"Oh...guess it's shut..." They then noticed the sign in the window: _Closed early for family emergency._

"Huh, guess we'll hafta wait till tomorrow." Ennis sighed.

"Yeah..." replied Jack as they moved away. "So waddaya wanna do now?"

"We could get somethin' to eat."

"Okay."

They found a place that served grilled steaks, and Jack's mouth started watering as they looked at the menu in the window.

"Whaddaya think?" he asked Ennis, eyes alight with anticipation. Ennis smirked at his eagerness.

"Sounds good."

They found seats in a booth in the corner, looking around with interest. The diner was quite busy but nobody was paying them the slightest bit of attention, too wrapped up in their own lives, which gave Ennis a glimmer of hope that maybe people wouldn't pay them any mind, especially if they could establish a successful business.

An older redheaded waitress came over to them. "Evenin' boys, what'll it be?"

"Hey," Jack greeted. "We're kinda new here, got anythin' you'd recommend?"

"Well, sure, there's the big grill, you got steak, chicken an' ribs with fries an' coleslaw, that do ya? Real popular."

Ennis and Jack nodded in agreement. "Sounds good, thanks. We'll have two."

"Sure thing, honey. Drinks?" she asked, writing down their orders on a notepad.

"Coke fer me, thanks. You wanna beer?" Jack asked Ennis.

"Sure."

"Okay. Thanks, boys." Jack smiled at Ennis as she walked away. His smile faltered a little when he saw Ennis's expression.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked in concern. Ennis looked nervous and was fidgeting.

"Yeah, I..." he swallowed. "I'm just...a little nervous. Far from home an' everythin'. I mean, I wanna be here, I just..."

Jack smiled in sympathy. "I know. It's gonna take some gettin' used to. We'll be fine, cowboy." Ennis gave his small, shy smile, the smile that seemed to be reserved for Jack.

Their meals came, which were much to their liking. The whole situation gave Jack an idea.

"Hey...know what I was thinkin'?"

"What?"

"Well...when we're a bit, ya know...more settled an' we got a good business goin', maybe we could try sellin' to places like this, ya know? Sell 'em our meat. Be suppliers."

"Huh...that sounds like a good idea. In exchange fer a discount?" Ennis replied, smirking a little. Jack grinned.

"That ain't what I was goin' fer...but now ya mention it..." Ennis just rolled his eyes.

They left the diner, promising to return, and were soon driving to the outskirts to find a motel to spend the night, Jack making a mental note to visit a drugstore at some point to get their photos from Colorado Springs developed, everything that had happened in Texas had driven the photos out of their minds.

A motel was found and Ennis was busy placing the bags inside the room while Jack answered the call of nature. Maybe it was a good thing that the solicitor's office was shut, they could now get a good night's sleep in them before dealing with the serious business of claiming the ranch.

Ennis took off his boots and hat, waiting for Jack. It was warmer down here in Georgia, so their jackets had been shed soon after crossing into the state. They would most likely be sleeping naked anyway, for reasons that had very little to do with the climate.

Jack emerged, and the mere sight of him made Ennis's heart flutter and groin stir. A grin spread across his face as he stood up.

Jack looked at him. "What?" Ennis silently shook his head and coaxed Jack into his arms. Jack grinned and moved into the embrace, wrapping his own arms around Ennis.

They smiled at each other as Ennis removed Jack's hat and tossed it to the floor. Ennis then nuzzled their noses together before moving in and kissing Jack softly, hands travelling down Jack's back to cup his ass, making Jack grin into the kiss, his own hands travelling up Ennis's chest and around his neck.

"How you want it?" Jack whispered as Ennis moved to kiss at his throat, both pairs of eyes closed in bliss.

"Dunno...let's just see where it goes, rodeo." Without warning, Ennis bent down and lifted Jack right up by his legs, holding him tight as Jack wrapped his legs around his waist, continuing to kiss as Ennis carried Jack around the bed to one side. Ennis sank onto the bed with Jack still in his arms, clinging on as Ennis got them into position.

Ennis let go of Jack and moved down to remove his boots, throwing them to the floor as Jack breathed, waiting. Shirts and jeans were slowly and tantalisingly removed as their breaths became heavy and they became hard, eager to feel their skin make contact.

They caressed each other's bodies, feeling every muscle moving and feeling the blood pumping through, kissing at the skin and softly whispering each other's names. Ennis rose up and took the lube from the bedside table, where he had placed it only minutes before as he'd waited for Jack. He slicked himself up while still attached to Jack's lips, not willing to break contact.

With encouragement flowing from Jack's eyes, Ennis lovingly pushed his knees apart and slid home, where he belonged. Jack sighed and willingly wrapped his arms and legs around his lover, pulling him close as he started to thrust. Their sweaty bodies were fusing together as it continued, the world falling away to leave just the two of them, lost in this moment.

The pace picked up and they could both feel the familiar feeling in their stomachs, the feeling of impending release as they hit a feeling beyond any other, of absolute contentment. Jack cupped Ennis's head into his shoulder as Ennis continued to push deeper into him, holding him tight and hot breath tickling his ear.

Their bodies suddenly tensed up as they had their release, Jack leading Ennis into his own, fingers digging deep into shoulders and then bodies collapsing together in a heap. Jack sighed happily and kissed Ennis's hair as they fell asleep, wrapping their bodies together in a warm embrace.

* * *

><p>The next day, after a quick breakfast, Ennis and Jack finally got into the solicitor's office and were now waiting for Greg Thompson, who would be handling the paperwork. They were both nervous, completely unfamiliar with such a situation and hoping everything would work out.<p>

Greg came in, a tall man with black hair, dressed in a smart suit, looking very professional.

"Good morning, gentlemen." He greeted, shaking their hands in turn before sitting at his desk. "Greg Thompson."

Ennis and Jack introduced themselves, painfully aware of their inadequate education compared to this man. They knew they probably came across as country hicks, but they hoped this wouldn't count against them.

Greg had the appropriate file ready and he thumbed through it. "So," he started, "the will of one Harold Peters of Havre, Montana decrees that John C. Twist Jr of Lightning Flat, Wyoming is the beneficiary of a ranch property just outside Sandersville, Georgia. Also, the beneficiary in question is also to receive monetary inheritance, to the sum of $50,000." Jack's head was spinning slightly.

Greg looked up. "You are John C. Twist Jr of Lightning Flat, Wyoming? Do you have form of identification?"

"Sure..." Jack pulled out his driver's license and handed it over. Greg checked it over and handed it back.

"That all seems to be in order." He gave a small smile, which eased the tension caused by his professionalism. He handed over a small pile of papers for Jack to sign and handed him a pen.

"Mr Twist, if you would sign on the lines marked with a cross..."

Jack hesitated, glancing at Ennis. "Um, I had a question about that."

"Of course."

"Um, well ya see, this here's my friend Ennis, from back home. We're...we're goin' into business together an' I was wonderin'...could we maybe both sign? We're gonna be business partners."

"Oh, I see. That's fine, Mr Twist. These papers are to say that the inheritance has been claimed. We can handle the business arrangement separately."

"Oh, okay." Satisfied, Jack leaned over and began signing the papers. When he was done, Greg took them and filed them away in a cabinet, then moved to another and brought out a new file, evidently belonging to the ranch.

"These papers will be used in conjunction to the papers you have just signed, Mr Twist. These are the ones that name the owner of the ranch and also the name on the bank account for the money. Do you have a bank account, Mr Twist?"

Jack shook his head ruefully. "No. Ain't never had enough money to put in."

"Well, we can deal with that in a moment." He thumbed through the new file, bringing out a form and hovering his pen over it."

"Since you say you wish to open a business, it is required to have a name and a basic description of what the business is."

"Okay," answered Jack. "Well, the name's gonna be Brokeback Ranch."

Greg wrote the name and looked up. "A ranch? You will be handling livestock, I presume?"

"Yeah. Cattle, horses, chickens, ya know."

Greg nodded. "Don't really have any ranches down here quite like that. You may have the run of the market, gentlemen." He said with a smile. Ennis and Jack looked at each other, silently communicating that maybe they were on to something here. They might just be successful.

"Now, as business partners, you are required to sign for a few things. You must have power of attorney for each other, and name each other as next of kin. You are required to take out health insurance and any workers you hire must be added to this."

Another glance between them. They knew that if they simply lived together, they would not be entitled to these benefits, and they knew that regular married couples were. As business partners, they would have these crucial benefits that other gay couples would not be allowed.

"Sure," said Jack. "That sounds fine." Greg handed them a power of attorney agreement, with they both eagerly signed. He then had them co-sign a health insurance form for the ranch, which he then filed away.

"Now then," he continued. "The money. Am I assuming that you would like a joint bank account for the business?" They nodded, and he had them fill out the appropriate forms.

"This will be filed with the bank and it should take about a week to set up with the money."

"Great." Jack smiled. Things were finally coming together for them.

"Last thing..." he placed one last form in front of them. "This form dictates that you are joint owners of Brokeback Ranch, Sandersville, Georgia. If your business partnership comes to an end one of you will have to buy the other out or go to court. Sign this only if you can agree to the terms."

They looked over the form and smiled at each other, knowing in their hearts that their partnership, business or otherwise, wasn't likely to come to an end anytime soon. They both signed their names and handed it back.

"Well, gentlemen, that's everything that can be taken care of here. I'll do the rest and keep you updated."

"Thank you." replied Jack as they all stood up, shaking hands.

"My pleasure, gentlemen. Here are directions to the ranch. I will be calling soon. Welcome to Sandersville." He handed Jack a set of keys and advised them to have copies made as soon as possible.

Ennis and Jack left the building and breathed out their tension. A light drizzle had started and a few more people were out in the streets.

"Glad that's done with," said Ennis. "Don't care much fer them stuffy buildin's."

"Yeah," replied Jack as he lit up a cigarette. "He seems nice enough, though." He looked at the piece of paper Greg had given him. The ranch seemed to be just outside of town, and was best found by taking the main road out of the city. He looked up at Ennis, a feeling of happiness creeping into his stomach.

Wanna go see our new home, cowboy?" he asked with a grin.

Ennis smiled back. "You bet, rodeo."

* * *

><p>Around half an hour later, they had followed the directions they had been given and were now pulling up to what appeared to be their new ranch. They looked out of the window and were stunned by what they saw.<p>

"Is that it?" asked Jack in awe. "Can't be..."

Ennis consulted the paper again. "It's gotta be. We followed those directions..."

They glanced at each other, hardly daring to believe what their eyes were telling them. They both got out, staring up at the house before them.

It was a beautiful, white brick two-storey house, red roof, with a wrap-around porch. There was a garage to the right, big enough for at least two trucks, it seemed. The papers they had signed mentioned that the property was roughly a hundred acres, and if this house was anything to go by, the rest of it was bound to be quite a sight too.

Jack wandered up to the house, neck craned. Ennis couldn't see his expression but he himself was staring up in wonder. This house was beyond anything he'd ever seen before, it was incredible. This would be their _home._

He lowered his head level again and looked at Jack. "Jack? You okay there?" he heard a sniff and saw Jack place his hands over his mouth. Ennis walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I...I..." Jack stammered.

"Jack?"

Jack turned, a big watery smile on his face. "It's just how I pictured it."

"It is?"

"Uh huh. It's just what I wanted. Remember in Signal when ya asked me what I pictured our house like? This is it. I can't believe it..." He wiped his eyes and threw his arms around Ennis's neck. Ennis smiled and rubbed his back.

"C'mon, darlin'. Let's go see the inside."

They walked on trembling legs up the steps and Jack tried the various keys he had been given, finally finding the right one and opening the door.

They stepped inside, and then froze in their tracks. They had walked into a large yet cosy living room. There was a sizeable fireplace on the left side, with a large white sofa perpendicular to it, against a wall and facing a small TV on the same wall as the front door. On the back wall where the sofa was stood a shut door that they figured lead to the kitchen, and on the right was a flight of stairs to the upper level. The walls and carpet were a warm red colour, and they could envision themselves curling up here on that sofa during the evening. After living in motels for weeks they felt like they had just walked into a palace.

"Wow..." said Jack softly. "It's beautiful..."

"Sure is..." Ennis agreed, lost for words. There was a fine layer of dust, but nothing they couldn't handle. They moved to the other door and entered a large room which was both a kitchen and dining room, complete with an island. They didn't know if any appliances might need replacing, but once the money came through they would attend to any replacements needed. The whole room was a light powder blue with white countertops, table and chairs.

"This is...really somethin', Jack."

"Yeah...my grandfather sure did well fer himself, huh? Can't believe Uncle Harold just let this sit here..." They both looked toward the back door.

"Wanna go see the land an' everythin'?" Jack asked, looking at Ennis with a grin on his face. He figured that Ennis would enjoy this aspect, a place to work with horses.

"Sure."

They walked out onto the back side of the porch and looked out as they descended the steps. On the left was a large barn and a few feet next to it lay a large, sprawling stable. They couldn't tell from here just how much land they had, they would have to go for a ride once they got some horses. They inspected the barn, Jack winking at Ennis and reminding him of what they did in the barn back in Lightning Flat. The stables had plenty of room for cattle and horses, and they might be able to squeeze in a chicken coop somewhere. They wouldn't have to get to work straightaway; they had a lot of money coming to them that they could live off while they got set up.

A little later they went back to the house and headed upstairs, particularly eager to check out what would be their own bedroom. The stairs came out in the middle of the floor. On their right was a large bathroom, and there were four other bedrooms. Three of them were clearly guest rooms, including one with twin beds. The room in the upper left corner was clearly the master, as it came with an en-suite bathroom, which excited Jack, thinking of sex in the shower.

Jack whistled and nudged Ennis. "Check out that bed." It was a large double, looked very comfortable. Ennis blushed as he thought of Jack's ideas for christening the bed. He sat down on the edge, testing it. He was feeling very overwhelmed that all of this belonged to them, it was their place, this home that they had wanted for the past few months, and it was everything they'd wanted.

"Whaddaya think, cowboy?" asked Jack, smiling at Ennis.

Ennis looked up at him. "Jack, I...all my life I wanted my own spread. Somewhere that felt like home. Now I'm here...an' I think...the only reason it feels like a home is 'cos...yer here..." he smiled. "This is our place, rodeo. You an' me."

Jack smiled even wider and sat next to him, curling an arm around his shoulders. "It sure is, cowboy." He fiddled with Ennis's curls. "Wanna christen the bed?" he asked mischievously.

Ennis gave a shy smile. "Thought ya wanted whipped cream fer that? Ain't got none."

Jack thought for a minute. "Oh hell," he said eventually, shrugging. "We can do that some other time." With that, their mouths met eagerly and they fell back onto the bed together.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, they prised themselves away from each other long enough to start unpacking the few possessions they'd brought with them. Jack had been into town to buy them some groceries and to introduce himself to the shop owners, asking around for people who had livestock and horses for sale, and he had come away with a few addresses of such people for him and Ennis to check out. He knew they would have to wait until they actually got the money, they didn't have a lot left.<p>

The initial shock of just how amazing their property was and that it belonged to them had worn off, and now they were eager to start breaking in the house and make it feel like home, a home like they had never had before, one that they knew would be filled with love.

Jack had finished putting away the groceries, including a can of whipped cream in the fridge, which he'd tried not to blush about when buying it. The people here were nice enough, they were intrigued that a brand new cattle ranch was being set up, and they too mentioned that there wasn't really anything like that in these parts, which gave Jack hope that this could work.

Ennis had been upstairs when he got back, so he was now preparing lunch for them, tomato soup. He'd said back in Signal that while he wasn't particularly skilled at cooking, he was certainly willing to try, and he seemed to be having some success at this, but then again, soup wasn't particularly hard to cook, especially from tins.

He turned the oven off and was about to turn, to go and see where Ennis had gotten to, when he felt a cosy warmth against his back and a pair of familiar hands cover his eyes from behind.

Jack grinned. "There you are. Was gonna come lookin' for ya, lunch's ready."

"Can it wait a little?" Ennis whispered in his ear. "I wanna show ya somethin'."

"Sure, I just turned the oven off, it'll be fine."

"'Kay." Ennis turned Jack around, hands still firmly covering his eyes as he guided him back through the living room and towards the stairs. Jack banged his leg against the banister.

"Ow!"

"Watch the stairs there, bud."

"I can't, you got yer hands on me!"

"Weren't complainin' last night, or this mornin'."

"C'mon, Ennis. At least let me get up the stairs proper." Ennis sighed and let go, allowing Jack to get up the stairs in one piece, but when they reached the top safely, his hands were back in place as he marched Jack towards the master bedroom. He walked Jack inside and turned him to face him.

"Okay, keep yer eyes shut, bud." Ennis removed his hands and shut the door behind them, then went and stood behind Jack.

"If that was our bedroom door ya just shut, I like where this is goin'." He said with a grin on his face.

Ennis rolled his eyes. "Fer once, Twist, I ain't tryin' to get into yer pants. Open yer eyes."

Jack did so and saw what Ennis had placed on the bedroom door, sucking the breath from his lungs as he registered the sight before him. Ennis's plaid shirt, the one he had stolen and then revealed, was on a hanger that Ennis had clearly hung on a nail on the door. But that wasn't all. Inside the shirt, tucked through so that the sleeves were inside the sleeves of the plaid shirt, was his own denim shirt. They were intertwined as if in an embrace, keeping each other safe.

Jack felt his eyes fill up with tears and he choked back a sob, hands covering his mouth. Ennis's arms came around him from behind, like a mirror image of the shirts before them. Jack held Ennis's arms tightly around him. Not knowing how people might react to their relationship and what they might do was worth it for moments like these, these moments told Jack that it was all worthwhile.

"Ennis...thank you..." he whispered.

Ennis squeezed him tightly. "S'alright. I been tryin' to look after ya since August, keep ya safe no matter what. I know we can't stand like this all the time, I can't keep my arms around ya all the time, much as I'd like to. So...this is my way of showin' ya that somewhere, up here, I got my arms around ya all the time. Keepin' ya safe."

Tears trickled down Jack's cheeks at those sweet, tender words coming from the man behind him. He had a lump in his throat and his heart felt like it would burst.

"I dunno what's gonna happen when people find out 'bout us, Jack. Neither of us do. But I'm holdin' ya right here, rodeo. Always." Ennis buried his face in Jack's neck, having run out of energy for such sentimental words.

Jack turned himself in Ennis's arms and placed his own around Ennis's neck. "Ennis, I ain't never felt as safe as I do when I got yer arms around me. Remember when ya held me by the fire up on Brokeback an' hummed to me?" Ennis nodded. "I felt so safe an' warm. I knew then how ya felt, even if ya couldn't say it then. So with these shirts..." he inclined his head back at them. "I'm always gonna feel safe. I know that ya love me. We're gonna keep each other safe, cowboy." He leaned in and kissed Ennis warmly, their tongues wrapping together lovingly as they melted through each other.

Jack drew back after a minute, giving Ennis one of his wide grins. "Ready fer lunch now, cowboy? Before it goes cold?"

"Sure." They walked downstairs hand in hand and went back into the kitchen.

"What you been makin', anyway?" asked Ennis, peering over at the oven.

"Tomato soup. Seems to have come out okay." answered Jack as he brought out two bowls and began pouring the soup into them. "You wanna get a beer or somethin'?"

"Yep." Ennis went into the fridge and immediately saw the can of whipped cream. His face went bright red and he fumbled for the beers.

"You got that whipped cream, then?" he asked Jack, looking shyly at him. Jack grinned.

"Uh huh. Maybe we could give it a try tonight." Ennis's face went, if possible, even redder.

* * *

><p>They spent the rest of the day clearing the house of any dust that had gathered and making sure the stables and barn were sufficient for livestock. They'd gone over to their nearest neighbour to try and introduce themselves, but the house was empty. Jack had told Ennis about the people who had livestock available, and they agreed to go and take a look once they had the money in place. Every time Jack went upstairs he couldn't resist taking a peek into their bedroom and looking at the shirts for a few minutes. The sight of them and what they represented warmed his heart.<p>

He was now standing on the back porch, hands in his pockets, looking out at the expanse of fields before him. The sun was setting beyond the horizon, casting purplish shadows across the grass. Ennis was clearing up the dishes from dinner. They didn't have a clear outline as far as chores were concerned, they agreed to take it in turns, at least while they adjusted to living together properly. They were dreading the moment when they would have to do laundry; they couldn't just wash their clothes in the river like they had up on Brokeback. There was a washing machine in the kitchen and they knew they would have to figure it out eventually. They figured they might have to ask a female neighbour for help on that one.

Jack breathed in the fresh air around him and took in the silence. Even though they were close to a city, it was very quiet here. He heard the screen door open behind him and a pair of warm hands surround his waist, a hot breath tickling his ear. He relaxed into the embrace, covering the arms with his own and leaning against the figure behind him.

Ennis put his head on Jack's shoulder. "You sleepin' on yer feet like a horse again, rodeo?" he whispered, remembering that dozy embrace by the fire.

Jack smiled dozily. "Nah. Just takin' it all in, ya know? This is all ours, cowboy. Ain't it somethin'? Real nice spot."

"Sure is. So quiet..." They looked around; eyes scanning the horizon, watching the sun dip and the shadows engulf the land. They were utterly at peace, feeling like they were the only two people in the world right then. Ennis was humming in Jack's ear that lullaby of his mother's, the one that he'd sung to Jack before.

Something occurred to Jack's mind, something that he couldn't believe he hadn't really taken notice of before. "Know what?"

"What?" Ennis whispered back, eyes closed, face buried in Jack's neck.

Jack smiled fully. "We ain't even known each other six months." He gave a soft giggle. "We met in May, an' it's only early October. That's five months, cowboy."

The irony of it all struck them at the same time, and within a few seconds they were shaking with silent laughter.

"Damn," Ennis breathed. "I never even...I gotta say, I never noticed."

"I know...everythin's gone so fast...but it feels right...don't it?" Jack twisted his head and looked at Ennis, not moving his body.

"Sure does, darlin'..." Ennis whispered, leaning in for a soft kiss. It did feel right, despite the fast pace at which everything had occurred. He'd known Alma for a year before proposing to her, yet he'd known Jack only five months before living with him. He knew that this path felt more right than the other would have done, the fundamental difference being that he loved the person he'd chosen.

Ennis sighed, and gave Jack a little shake. "C'mon, darlin', let's go back inside. Gettin' cold."

"'Kay." Jack allowed himself to be pulled back into the house by the hand, and they were soon curling up on the sofa together. They tried to watch TV but there was nothing on to interest them, so they elected to kiss instead, whispering to each other and laughing softly.

"Well, I tell ya friend...we may not have liked Aguirre but he did get one thing right." Said Jack between kisses.

"What's that?"

Jack gave a lopsided grin. "We really are a pair of deuces." They laughed again and continued to kiss. The heat started to rise as their kisses became more urgent, and that familiar feeling was flaring in their stomachs.

"Well...I know we ain't got scrawny asses." Ennis murmured, hands wandering down to Jack's body part in question and squeezing it. Jack moaned into his mouth.

"Wanna go make sure?" he breathed, eager to get upstairs and rip Ennis's clothes off.

"Mmm..." They stood up, still attached by the lips and hands running uncontrollably over each other's bodies. Just as they were backing towards the stairs Jack pulled away.

"Wait a sec." In a flash he was gone, back before Ennis had really registered his absence, the can of whipped cream in his hand.

"Whaddaya say we break this in?" Jack whispered into Ennis's ear, hand travelling down to his crotch.

"Whatever you say, boss..."

Jack grabbed his hand, can in the other, and ran up the stairs with them, tripping over his own feet to get to their bedroom. His groin was on fire with desire and he couldn't think straight.

Inside, Jack threw the can onto the bed for later and turned to Ennis. They ripped each other's jackets off and seemed to have a little contest at who could strip who the fastest, blood pumping through their veins and breathing heavily.

Jack grabbed Ennis and threw him onto the bed too, where he shuffled up to the middle, passing the can to Jack as he leaned over him, their bodies tangling up in a cocoon of warm flesh. They nipped and kissed at each other's glowing and sweating skin for a minute, then Jack rose up and pulled the top off the can, eyes glittering.

He went to work on Ennis's pulsing erection, slathering the cream over it and licking his lips. Their eyes locked together as Jack leaned down, starting to feast on his dessert like a starving man.


	23. Chapter 23

_Author's Notes_

Hey guys! This is the penultimate chapter of the story, I'm afraid. Even though it says The End there is still an epilogue to come in a couple of days, so stay tuned! And remember there's a sequel lined up ;)

Kathryn xxx

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23<strong>

The next morning, Ennis and Jack were eating breakfast in the kitchen when there was a knock at the door. They looked at each other.

"Might be our new neighbours." said Jack, chewing with a thoughtful expression on his face. They knew they would have to meet their neighbours at some point.

Ennis nodded. "I'll get it." He got up and went through the living room to the front door, wiping his hands on his jeans nervously. He opened the door to see a man and a woman stood there, somewhat older than themselves, with bright, friendly smiles.

"Good mornin' there." greeted the woman. "Bill an' Mary Jones. I'm guessin' yer our new neighbours."

Ennis smiled. "Sure are. Nice to meet ya. Ennis Del Mar." He stuck his hand out to shake theirs and then stood back. "You wanna come in?"

"Sure." They followed him inside and looked around in awe. "This is a beautiful place, Mr Del Mar."

"You can call me Ennis if ya want, an' thanks. You want a coffee or somethin'?"

"That would be lovely, Ennis. You married, then?"

Ennis fidgeted. "Um, not exactly. Come through, there's someone you'll wanna meet." He led them into the kitchen, where Jack was still sat at the table looking nervous. He stood up when Bill and Mary walked in and put on his best welcoming smile.

"Howdy. Jack Twist." He too shook their hands.

"Nice to meet you, Jack." said Bill as the three of them sat down again while Ennis made coffee. "Bill n' Mary Jones, yer next door neighbours."

"Oh...we was gonna introduce ourselves yesterday, but yer house was empty."

"That's right; we were out of town visitin' my sister. When we got back we saw a truck in yer drive, so we thought we'd come by this mornin'."

Ennis set four fresh mugs of coffee down and sat back down opposite Jack. They silently reaffirmed their agreement, that if it came up they would tell the truth about themselves.

"So, where are you boys from?" asked Mary.

"Uh, well, we're both from Wyomin'," answered Jack. "I'm from Lightnin' Flat, Ennis is from Sage. Opposite corners, really."

"How did you meet?"

"Sheep herdin' job up on a place called Brokeback Mountain."

"So...you ain't related, then? You just business partners?"

Ennis and Jack looked at each other, Ennis giving a small nod.

"Not exactly..." Jack cleared his throat. "We are business partners, but...we, uh..." he bit his lip and looked helplessly at them, hoping they could work it out. They looked at him blankly, not understanding. He sighed. "We're..._partner_ partners, know what I'm sayin'?"

Bill and Mary looked between them, and then realisation dawned on them. "Oh...you mean you're...together?"

The pair of them nodded, looking wary at how this information would be received.

To their relief, however, their guests smiled. "No wonder you look so nervous. You think we're gonna fly off the handle, don't you?" said Bill.

Jack breathed out a sigh of relief. "Sorry, it's just...we're always nervous 'bout how people are gonna take it."

"I can see why," answered Mary, and then smiled at her husband. "But I don't think there's any need to worry."

"Really?" asked Ennis hopefully.

"Son," said Bill. "I was fightin' in World War Two near twenty years ago. I had an army buddy, Scott. He was queer. Bravest man I ever knew. Came out to me, said he was missin' his fella somethin' awful. He died in my arms an' told me to get in touch with his fella, hardest thing I've ever had to do. Before then, I mighta been real nasty to fellas like you an' Scott, but knowin' him prevented that from happenin'." Mary squeezed his hand.

"Wow..." said Jack softly. "Sorry to hear 'bout yer buddy. But if it helps ya understand guys like us a little better than ya did before..."

"It sure did. So you won't hear me callin' ya demeanin' names, or threatenin' ya. You can count on us, right, Mary?"

She nodded. "We think you two are real brave for livin' together out in the open like this. We just wish it was safer for guys like you."

"I think we all wish that, Mary." Jack smiled weakly.

"It wasn't an easy decision," said Ennis. "I'm havin' to unlearn a few lessons my dad taught me, an' it wasn't easy admittin' I loved Jack an' wanted to be with him, but...it was better than watchin' him walk away, probably fer good."

"Well, we're quite impressed. We'd like to be your friends, if that's okay. We'd like to get to know you."

Ennis and Jack smiled. "I think...that'd be good." said Jack. "Be good to have some friends to spend time with. While we're on the subject, is there anybody we wanna watch out for? Anyone who likes to cause trouble?"

"Hmm...not anybody in particular, I don't think...but you'd best be careful all the same. Not everybody's had their lives changed by an army buddy, I'm afraid."

"So...what have you boys got planned for this place?" asked Bill, trying to inject some pleasantness back into the conversation.

Ennis and Jack sat up, enthusiasm in full force. "Well...we're gonna be raisin' livestock. A cow an' calf operation, get us some horses an' maybe some chickens, ya know?"

"Really? Ain't got much like that here. Might be some demand."

"That's what the shop owners have said. Might be a little niche for us there." agreed Jack.

Another cup of coffee later, and Bill and Mary were preparing to leave.

"Well, it's been lovely meeting you boys. I hope you'll be happy here."

"Well, it sure looks like it." replied Jack, grinning.

"Would you...like to come over for dinner some time? The four of us? We'd like to hear more 'bout you."

Ennis and Jack exchanged a glance. They hadn't expected, or rather, hadn't dared to hope that their new neighbours would be so accommodating. Maybe they could live happy lives here after all. "Sure, sounds great."

"Okay, I'll come by to let you know when we're available."

Jack saw them to the door and turned back to see Ennis, fidgeting but with a small smile on his face.

"Looks like we've caught ourselves a lucky break, Jack." he whispered. Jack went over to him and placed his hands on his shoulders.

"About damn time, I'd say, cowboy." he answered, leaning in for a kiss.

* * *

><p>Becky sat in the kitchen, dialling the new number Jack had given her for the ranch that he'd given to her only yesterday. They hadn't had the chance to talk since he'd called her from Casper and she was eager to find out what the ranch was like.<p>

She listened to the rings stretch across the thousand or so miles that separated them, looking forward to talking to them again.

Jack picked up. "Hello, Brokeback Ranch. Jack speakin'." She smiled to herself at the would-be professional tone he was using.

"Hey Jack, it's Becky."

"Becky! Hey, how are ya?" Jack seemed happy to hear her voice again.

"I'm great, how are you guys? How's the ranch?" she twirled the phone cord through her fingers.

"Tell ya what...I can't believe my Uncle Harold just let this sit here all those years. It's just somethin' else, really is."

"Tell me about it, I wanna hear everythin'!"

"Well, it's two floors...downstairs has got a big livin' room an' a big kitchen behind it...the porch goes right around it. Upstairs has got a master bedroom for me an' Ennis, plus three guests an' a big bathroom. An' you should see the land, can't wait till we get some horses, so we can go explorin'. It's a real nice place. Can't wait for ya to see it."

"I would love to come out there sometime," she sighed wistfully. "It sounds wonderful."

"When ya do, make it after this week. We don't get the money till 'bout the end of the week an' I wanna pay ya back."

"Sure, no rush to pay me back. Yer family, I wanted to help."

"I know...but still..."

"How's Ennis?"

"He's great. I think it kinda knocked him back a little when we first got here, you know how he is. He's had it worse than me. I think he's adjustin', though."

"Where is he?"

"He's out in the stables, makin' sure they're good for stock, ya know? I'm just makin' us some lunch."

"Okay. You spoken to yer parents recently?" she asked warily, not sure if John would have relayed their conversation to Jack just to stir up trouble.

"My mama, yeah. I ain't talkin' to my dad no more if I can help it. Not after what he tried to do to us."

_You don't know the half of what he's done, _the voice in her mind said miserably. _It's better that way._

"I see. Can't blame ya for that, I guess. He don't deserve a son like you." she replied vehemently.

Jack laughed wryly. "Maybe. I better go find Ennis, lunch's nearly ready. I'll talk to ya soon, okay?"

"Sure. Whenever ya want. Bye, Jack."

"Bye, honey."

Jack hung up and left the kitchen by the back door, heading towards the stables, looking for Ennis. He entered the stables to be greeted by a fine sight: Ennis bending over in full view of him, clearing through a stall. Jack leaned against the stall door and gave a wolf whistle. "Very nice." he commented, grinning.

Ennis straightened up and turned, a smirk on his face. "You lookin' at my ass, Twist?" he rumbled. "Ain't sure I approve of that."

"Please, I've been a lot closer to yer ass than that, Del Mar. Don't you be goin' all shy on me now."

Ennis walked towards him and pulled him close, hands going down his back to cup his ass. Jack's hands went up his chest to circle his neck.

"You know that yer the only person I ain't shy with," Ennis whispered. "Not no more, anyway." Jack smiled as Ennis leaned in, kissing him firmly in a way that was guaranteed to raise his blood pressure within seconds. He whimpered as he felt himself getting hard, feeling a need to have Ennis inside him. Ennis seemed to know exactly what he was doing to Jack and felt elated that they had this effect on each other.

He pulled back, making Jack whine slightly, and his eyes glittered. He looked down at Jack's very obvious erection.

"Got a problem down there, rodeo?" he asked nonchalantly, wanting to make Jack beg. Jack nodded, breathing heavily. "Well, we're gonna hafta do somethin' 'bout that, I guess." He grabbed Jack and pulled him down to the stable floor, where they landed in a heap.

Jack willingly let Ennis get on top of him, moaning into his mouth and knowing he was starting to leak. They ripped each other's belts open and yanked each other's pants down. They didn't have the patience to get fully undressed; they needed the contact right away. Not having the lube with them, Ennis had to make do with spitting into his hand and rubbing it on himself.

He pulled Jack's legs up and slid inside, trying to be gentle in the absence of actual lubricant. Jack squirmed a little as he tried to get comfortable, being used to lube by now, and knowing that Ennis was at least trying not to hurt him. Ennis finally pushed through and Jack relaxed, throwing his head back and sighing in contentment. They laced their fingers together as Ennis started a slow, gentle rhythm, feeling Jack rock his hips upwards in time, eyes closed in bliss. Ennis leaned down and kissed him, plunging his tongue into Jack's mouth whereupon Jack claimed it and sucked on it enthusiastically, gripping their hands tighter together. They could feel themselves teetering closer to the edge, knowing they wouldn't last much longer.

Jack's whole body tensed up as he had his release, sending Ennis into his own as their fingers grew numb with how hard they were holding onto each other. They collapsed in a heap on the floor; Ennis's upper body rising and falling in time to Jack's gasping breaths.

"Damn."

"Yeah."

Their breathing gradually became even again and their senses returned. Ennis rolled off Jack's chest and flopped onto his back beside him. They pulled their pants back up with trembling fingers and fastened up.

"By the way..." Jack breathed.

"What?"

"Lunch's ready."

* * *

><p>After clearing themselves up after their encounter in the barn, the pair of them settled down to lunch, chicken salad. Upon hearing that neither Jack nor Ennis was particularly adept at cooking, their new neighbour Mary had been by and given them a few cookbooks to help them out, and Jack had thrown himself into it, finding that he was rather enjoying looking through the recipes and trying out new things.<p>

"Mmm, this is pretty good, rodeo. Got it from one of yer cookbooks, I take it?" asked Ennis, eagerly shovelling strips of chicken into his mouth.

"Yep," replied Jack, taking a sip of his orange juice. They decided that it wasn't exactly a good idea to have a drink with every meal, so only drank beer with dinner and then later in the evening. "I gotta say, I'm gettin' into cookin'. Better now I know what I'm doin'."

The phone rang suddenly, and Ennis, who was nearer, got up to answer it. "Brokeback Ranch, Ennis speakin'."

"Hey, Ennis. It's K.E."

"K.E.," said Ennis in surprise, meeting Jack's eyes, who looked equally surprised. "How are ya?"

"I'm good. Cecilia tells me yer at yer new place now, in Georgia."

"Yeah, been here a couple days. Can't get no livestock till we get the money, but we're just gettin' used to it, ya know?"

"What's it like?" Ennis had to give him credit for at least trying to get to know his brother's new life.

"It's...it's really somethin'. Real nice place. I think we're gonna like livin' here."

"Great...glad ya seem happy..."

"I am, K.E., real happy." Jack smiled at him as he said this. "So what's goin' on with you?"

"Well...Sarah's pregnant. She had a test the other day, 'bout a month gone."

"That's great, congratulations." Ennis replied, genuinely happy for his brother. "I know you've been wantin' to start a family..."

"Yeah...hey, can I ask ya somethin'?"

"Sure."

K.E. hesitated. "Does it...does it ever bother ya? That you an' Jack can't have kids?"

Ennis sighed. "Actually, it don't. When I was still engaged to Alma, I did want kids, I'll admit," he looked at Jack, who tried to hide his pained expression at taking that away from Ennis. "But...now I'm with Jack...it don't really matter no more. I'd have kids with him if I could, an' he knows that. I think, though, that not having the chance to have kids is a small price to pay fer bein' with who I love. I'm gonna be with Jack fer the rest of my life, an' that makes me happy." he said with an air of finality.

"You're right...if it means yer happy, then...I guess it is worth it. When did ya get so smart, Ennis?" he asked in an amused tone.

"When I started ownin' up to who I am, an' I told Jack how I felt an' what I wanted. I know I've changed, an' I know that's mainly Jack's doin', but I know I'm happier now than I ever coulda been with Alma." Jack's pained expression had gone and his eyes were sparkling at the words.

"This fella of yers...he sounds like he's really somethin'. Real firecracker."

"He sure is. I'm gonna be happy thanks to him. I sure hope we can...you know...bury the hatchet, like." Ennis twisted the phone cord in his fingers nervously.

"I was gonna ask...when Sarah's safe fer travellin'...maybe we could come down there sometime? I'd like to see the place, an' you. An' I think I wanna start over with Jack, God knows we got off on the wrong foot back here."

"I think...I think that'd be okay. I'd like to see ya. But ya gotta know, if you come here, you gotta respect me an' Jack. We deserve that much in our own home."

"I know, Ennis. If we wait till Sarah can travel, that'll give us all some time to prepare, right?"

"Sure 'nough."

"Okay, so...I'd better get goin', then."

"Yep. See ya, K.E."

"Bye."

Ennis hung up and took his seat at the table again. "Why do I always feel drained after talkin' to him?" he muttered, picking his fork back up and once more shovelling the food in, hands shaking slightly.

Jack sighed and placed his free hand over Ennis's, lying on the table. "'Cos he's family. An' he shared the Earl an' Rich lesson. You know yerself it's a hard lesson to learn, an' even harder to unlearn. You had a good reason fer tryin' to work past yer fears, sweetheart. An' you know he ain't. Not really." Jack lifted Ennis's chin with a finger and made him meet his eyes. "You chose to get past it 'cos ya wanted to be with me, right?" Ennis nodded. "He didn't hafta try an' do the same. Ain't like he's got the same reason fer unlearnin' that lesson. He's chosen to at least try 'cos yer his brother, he deserves some credit fer that."

Ennis was silent, digesting these words. He'd thought all along that K.E. did deserve some credit for trying, despite not having the same motivations as himself. Jack went on, "I'm thinkin' that yer feelin' drained 'cos it is hard fer families to adjust to changes. All three of ya was thinkin' that you was gonna marry Alma an' have a normal life. This has shaken everybody up, probably even Cecilia at first, but she ain't reacted the same 'cos she didn't see Earl in that ditch. It's bound to be harder fer you an' K.E. I ain't surprised it's havin' this effect on you, to be honest. All we can do is try our best to get through it. You know I'm here fer ya, cowboy." Jack smiled once more and went back to his lunch, watching Ennis's face.

Ennis looked down, then back up at Jack, smiling. "Thanks, bud. Sure am glad I got me a fella with brains in his head."

"So I ain't a complete fuck-up, then?" asked Jack, smirking, remembering what Ennis had said about his father, who had said that rodeo cowboys were all fuck-ups.

Ennis chuckled. "Not all the time."

* * *

><p>That night, after a hearty dinner, Jack noticed that the darkening sky outside was becoming littered with milky white stars, so he suggested to Ennis that they take a blanket and lie outside for a while. It certainly felt somewhat romantic, to lie here under the stars, trying to make out constellations and making up their own, including one that Jack was sure looked like a sheep.<p>

The pair of them lay flat on their backs close together, gazing up at the vast black sky above them, total silence all around them, and a soft breeze playing in their hair.

Jack sighed and tilted his head, looking to the left when something caught his eye. A shooting star was making its way across the sky, the tail blazing against the darkness.

He elbowed Ennis gently. "Look..." Ennis turned and saw the star.

Jack sighed again. "Make a wish, cowboy..."

Ennis opened his mouth, thought for a moment, and then shut it again, shaking his head. "Don't need to."

Jack turned to look at him. In the darkness he could just make out that Ennis was smiling. "Whaddaya mean?"

Ennis smiled fully and snaked his left arm under Jack's neck, twining his fingers through Jack's hair. "I don't need to make no wish. I got everythin' I need down here." Jack smiled back and snuggled closer, draping his left arm across Ennis's chest as Ennis hugged him.

They were silent for a few more minutes, and then Jack turned to look at the star again, which was still making its way across the sky.

"You know..." he said in a low voice. "When I was younger...few years back...maybe 'bout fifteen...I was lyin' in bed one night after a beatin', tryin' to get to sleep. I was missin' Becky real bad, an' I think it mighta actually been her birthday..."

"I couldn't sleep. I remember turnin' on my side an' lookin' up out the window...an' there was a shootin' star right there, just like that one. I got up an' sat at the window. Made a wish that night."

"Yeah? What you wish for?" Ennis asked softly.

Jack thought back to that night, four years ago. "Well...you know what my dad's like. Always talkin' down to me, beatin' on me...makin' me think I didn't matter none. I was always tryin' to get into his good books, but it never worked...no matter what I did. That night, I...I wished to whoever might be listenin' up there...to send me..." he sighed. "Send me a friend. Someone who...would understand. Accept me fer who I am, an' that if I tried to impress 'em it would work. I wanted someone who would like me fer me, that I could be myself with."

He turned and looked at Ennis again. "Took 'em four years...but this May I got what I wanted." he whispered. "I got a friend, someone who liked me an' accepted me fer who I am. That I could be myself around. I found a friend in a shy ranch hand who didn't speak a lot but still managed to knock me sideways when he looked into my eyes." Ennis was smiling by now, happier than ever that the two of them were together. "I found a friend...an' so much more. Added bonus that I fell in love with him." Jack leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on Ennis's lips, feeling Ennis's hand in his hair again.

"With you...I feel like I do matter, ya know? I can open up to you, an' know you ain't gonna judge me fer anythin'. I ain't never felt like that before." Jack scooted down a little and laid his head in the crook of Ennis's shoulder.

Ennis held him for a few beats, and then cast his mind back to something Jack had said. "Hey...you say you was fifteen?"

"Yeah."

"So that was what...'59?"

"Yep. It was July, actually. Becky's birthday, the tenth. Why?" Jack murmured drowsily, looking up into Ennis's face.

"July tenth...that was a year since my parents died..."

Jack leaned up onto his elbow. "Really? I never knew that..."

"Yeah..." Suddenly, Ennis sat up and looked at Jack with wide eyes, as if suddenly realising something.

"Ennis? What's up?"

"I just remembered...that night...I saw a shootin' star, too! Down in Worland where me an' K.E. was workin'..."

Jack was quite surprised, but the idea of he and Ennis seeing the same thing at the same time, despite the fact that they didn't yet even know each other, was a very appealing one.

"So...ya think...?"

Ennis's expression softened again. "We mighta seen the same shootin' star, rodeo." he whispered reverently.

"Wow...did ya make a wish that night?"

Ennis smiled shyly. "Kinda..."

"What was it?" asked Jack, curling his arm around Ennis's shoulders.

"Well...you know how it was...when they died, we couldn't keep the ranch. Only thing that kept me out of the orphanage was that Cecilia an' K.E. was both over eighteen. We just hadta go where we could, stick together. Cecilia had already married Tom by then, was livin' in Casper. Was just me an' K.E., stayin' in a ranch bunkhouse. I saw a shootin' star that night..." he looked up into the sky. "I...I wished...just to have things work out fer once, ya know? I wanted to be happy. Have a spread of my own that they wasn't gonna take away from me. I just...wanted things to go right fer me, be happy...with someone."

Ennis lowered his head and looked into Jack's eyes, raising a hand to stroke his cheek. "I went up on a mountain in May an' found someone who could do all that. Make me happy. Give me a spread to share with 'em, make things go right fer once. Now we're here..." he gestured to the house and the land all around them. "I'm thinkin'...or at least hopin'...that they ain't gonna take this away from us, Jack."

"Even if they do..." Jack whispered. "They can't take me from you. If they get me, I'll still love you, always. You know that. If I go first, I'm gonna wait fer ya. We'll go together."

Ennis smiled. "Right back atcha, bud." He looked down, then back up. "Looks like...that night ...we both made a wish at the same time. Took 'em four years, but we got it in the end."

With that, Ennis lay back down and Jack followed, holding each other close and shutting their eyes for a spell, hearing nothing but the soft breeze all around them.

* * *

><p>Becky turned on her side in bed and stared at the wall, unable to get her mind off her troubles. Her indecision over whether or not to tell Ennis and Jack what she knew had been driving her mad for weeks, and her mind kept running over and over the whole thing, reminding her of just how much of a mess things were.<p>

Rose had told her that Rich had moved east recently, apparently to Georgia. She couldn't help but wonder if Ennis and Jack would meet him while they were living there, it was certainly possible. But what then? Would the truth come out? That was possible, too. At least then she wouldn't have to worry anymore. But if they did find out...then what? The repercussions could be terrible, damaging, especially for Jack. The truth had been hidden for so long; perhaps it would be better to leave things as they were, for all their sakes.

By the time she finally drifted off, she had made her decision. She would keep the truth to herself, at least for now. For Jack if nothing else. If they found out some other way, then, but only then, would she reveal what she knew.

Rose put her book on the bedside table and turned off the light, her sleeping husband completely oblivious. She stared at the ceiling, thinking. It was so many years ago, but the effects were still being felt, by one young woman down in Texas in particular. That was understandable, given what had happened, even if she could not remember it.

Rose felt that she had acted in Becky's best interest, taking the route that would ensure her safety, even if it had split the family apart. For her part, she'd tried to do her duty as a wife, but her heart had never been in it after that fateful day. For eighteen years she had prayed that her family would reconcile, but her husband's attitude was a constant reminder that maybe it was too late. Jack already hated his father for those years of abuse, and that hatred would increase tenfold if he knew what he'd done.

And Ennis...he too was connected to this. It wasn't all that surprising really, when she thought about it. He and Jack had been connected before they had even met, so perhaps they really were soulmates after all.

Cecilia tucked her children into bed and silently walked down the hall towards her own sleeping husband, her mind on her brothers. She was unaware of the storm brewing among the Twist family, but she too was concerned about the welfare of her youngest brother, and she hoped that he and Jack would be able to have a happy life in Georgia. They probably would encounter people that disapproved of their relationship, but hopefully it would just be words, not actions. Hopefully neither of them would end up like Earl.

She remembered him and Rich, when they had been living in Sage. As far as she could remember, they had been nice people, keeping themselves to themselves, but always pleasant to talk to if prompted. She didn't know what exactly happened the night Earl was killed, but she undeniably felt sorry for Rich, who had lost the one he loved and had been forced to flee for his own safety.

She wondered vaguely if Rich was still alive, and where he might be. It might do Ennis some good to meet him, try to get some closure on his traumatic experience. Maybe then he would be able to relax better, and not be so fearful, but then again, he loved Jack, so would probably always be scared of something happening to him. Love could do that to a person. She hoped that neither Ennis nor Jack would end up like Earl or even Rich. History had a nasty habit of repeating itself.

K.E. moved away from the window and slid back into bed next to his wife, making sure she was comfortable. His mind, like his sister's some miles away, was on his brother, a thousand miles away.

He didn't hate Ennis for the life he'd chosen, or at least, he didn't want to. Ennis was still his brother, just...happier, it seemed. Family was important to all three of them; even more so since their parents had died and they'd had to fend for themselves. They'd stuck together then, and now they had to fight hard to avoid drifting apart. It didn't have to happen; they could still be a part of each other's lives if they wanted.

He knew their father was to blame, not just for showing them Earl's mutilated body, but for encouraging him and Ennis to fight, make them think that they hated each other. Their father was gone, and they still had some way to go before they could feel like a proper family again, they had bridges to build between them, but it wasn't impossible.

He decided that he would at least try, for Ennis and Cecilia. For their mother, who had tried her best to keep them from fighting. He decided he would have to swallow his pride and attempt to get to know his brother's new life, his life with Jack.

On a cold mountaintop not far from his house, the air was silent, no wind, and no animal noises. The only sound was the river bubbling.

The campsite had long since gone. There was no sound of bleating sheep, no fire smoke, and no tinny sound of a harmonica and no voice singing off-key, no laughing as there had once been. There was nothing left to suggest that just a few months before, a force of nature had driven two souls together in the unlikeliest of circumstances. This mountain had driven two unsuspecting people together from opposite corners of the state and had given them everything they had ever wanted and needed.

Those same two souls were now a thousand miles away, crawling into their own bed together. They had the sense that one chapter of their lives had ended and another was about to begin, one that they would experience together. Two young cowboys from backgrounds very similar, growing up with nothing but dreams in their hearts, had found each other while looking for work. Luck had been on their side and they had managed to stay together through harsh circumstances.

Neither of them were able to figure out exactly why they had been so fortunate, or how they had managed to start building a life together. Maybe they would never figure it out. Maybe it was coincidence, maybe it was fate. But they knew one thing; that somehow, which neither of them could explain nor deny, their love had found a way.

_The End_


	24. Epilogue

_Author's Notes_

Hey guys! Here's the epilogue as promised. I can't thank you guys enough for all of your support through this. As a first time writer I'm overwhelmed by the reception this story has received and I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Thank you all again, and stay tuned for the sequel! It is going to be titled _Islands In A Storm_. Or words to that effect, at least.

Bye again!

Kathryn

xxx

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 24Epilogue**

Ennis and Jack quickly settled into their new life together, after five turbulent months of having their lives turned upside down. While still so young, they were able to demonstrate a maturity and determination for success that any rancher of any age would be proud of.

The money that Uncle Harold had left cleared at the end of the week, and a business account for Brokeback Ranch was set up in both their names. They didn't take this for granted, they knew that it was just one of many benefits of owning a business together, as opposed to just living together, which would render them unable to take advantage of these benefits.

There were other benefits to being business partners, one which they became aware of a few weeks after they moved in, watching the news on TV one night. Civil Rights movements were occurring across the state, black residents were campaigning against segregation and for equal rights. Although segregation seemed to have been officially abolished in many parts of the state for several years, it became clear to them that for these poor people, their fight was not yet over.

Ennis and Jack had never really paid much thought to such things back in Wyoming, if they had ever heard of it in the first place, but as they continued to hear about it, they realised that they could sympathise with this group. Just like themselves, these people were suffering for something that they could neither help nor control, and they thought it extremely unfair. Society was trying to squash them down simply for being a certain way, that was part of who they were. A man named Martin Luther King Jr seemed to be a figure of hope for these people, a face for the campaigns for equal rights.

A notorious gang of people known as the Ku Klux Klan were apparently sniffing around the southern states, including Georgia and its neighbours, Alabama and Mississippi, brutally slaughtering people, which made the two cowboys feel sick and a little nervous. They decided that the more they kept to themselves and the ranch the better. Although the main targets of this group seemed to be black people, they had a feeling that if they became aware of the relationship between the two new ranchers just outside Sandersville, they might go out of their way to cause trouble for them.

Students were also rebelling against the government, campaigning for equal rights for all, including gay people. There seemed to be protests all the time, mainly up in and around Atlanta, with such occurrences few and far between in the southern part of the state, which made the pair of them feel a little better. Just a few days before their arrival, a campaign in Savannah forced city leaders to desegregate public and private facilities, so perhaps some progress was being made.

It looked to them like the campaign for equal rights was not yet over, so until people like themselves could live in relative peace, without the risk of violence against them, Ennis and Jack agreed that except to their close neighbours, the story was that they were cousins who had grown up together and were now business partners. The only truths that they agreed to tell to others was that Jack had inherited the ranch and that they were from Wyoming. Nobody needed to know the truth, at least not yet. Maybe they should rethink their idea to try and sell their produce up in Atlanta; it might be a good idea to stay away from all the commotion. They certainly didn't want to get caught up in it, for their own safety. Their main priority was to keep themselves safe, and besides, it wasn't such a hardship to stay and hide out on the ranch all day, not when they had each other for company.

So they did their best to keep their heads down and concentrate on building their desired life together. The rest of October passed quickly enough, Jack's birthday on the twelfth being the first main event. Ennis had surprised him on the morning of his birthday by presenting him with a large box that kept wriggling in his arms.

"What's that?" asked Jack incredulously when he eyed the box, looking up at Ennis who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Come an' see." he answered, setting the box on the living room floor. He opened it and a mass of bluish-grey, white and black fur jumped out and into his arms, a pink tongue lapping at his face.

Jack was stunned. "You got me a puppy?" he asked, eyes shining, unable to keep the grin off his face.

Ennis smiled back. "Sure did. You recognise the breed?"

Jack looked more closely at the puppy, taking in its colouring and trying to place it. "Uh...I dunno...what is it?"

"It's a blue heeler, Jack," Ennis replied, patting its head as it curled up in Jack's arms. "Like what we had up on Brokeback. I know you loved that pup you found on the first day, so...now you've got yer own."

Jack's heart melted. "Oh, Ennis..." he leaned over for a kiss. "I'm gonna thank ya good an' proper later." he whispered, making Ennis's cheeks flush.

"What you gonna call him?" asked Ennis, looking at the bundle of fur, with big soft brown eyes a lot like his own.

"Hmm...what 'bout...Lucky?"

"Lucky?"

Jack nodded. "Yep. Let's face it, luck's been on our side the last few months, for the most part. I think it fits." he said happily, scratching the puppy behind its ear.

In time the pair of them started building up the ranch, hiring staff to help them and buying stock from around their part of the state. They didn't know much about actually running a ranch, but their foreman, Dave, was happy to give them advice. As for the finances, they hired an accountant recommended to them by Greg Thompson to help them out at the start, until they got the hang of it.

For their first Thanksgiving together, they decided to have it on their own, just the two of them. They did have a dinner with their neighbours Bill and Mary the week before, but the day was celebrated back at their own place, just them and the new addition to the family, looking up at them with big eyes and trying to get them to feed him scraps. They agreed that next year they would have Thanksgiving dinner with relatives.

The temperature dropped in early December, forcing them to snuggle even closer together in bed than they normally did. It wasn't really a hardship, and they had ways of keeping warm. When the snow fell, a lot of their time was devoted to snowball fights and wrestling until the cold seeped through their clothes, at which point they would huddle together in front of the fire for most of the night. At Christmas, Jack bought Ennis a new winter jacket that was guaranteed to keep him warm in the colder weather, and Ennis bought Jack a brand new harmonica, much to Jack's amusement. He still couldn't play very well but Ennis loved seeing the smile on his face.

In January, after the snow had cleared, they finally arranged a meeting with Tom's cousin Adam. He and his partner Pete drove down from Ohio and stayed at the ranch. Despite Ennis's initial concerns about how they would act, based on his own prejudices that he was trying to discard, he needn't have worried. Adam and Pete were perfectly normal people much like themselves, except that they weren't cowboys. The four of them got on like a house on fire, both couples revelling in the presence of someone that they could talk openly to about what it meant to love another man. Their guests stayed over a weekend and they all ended up going out for a steak and beers together. When they left they promised to call and Ennis and Jack encouraged them to visit again, perhaps later in the year.

The first few months of spring involved them breeding their cows with their bull and preparing to grow feed, such as hay and so forth. Valentine's Day was a special occasion; Jack made a romantic meal and filled the kitchen with candles and wine. And later on, Ennis took a turn at tying Jack up, with mind-blowing results for both of them. Of course, they were quite sore the next morning, but it was always worth it to be here with each other, and to feel free to love each other.

Life on the ranch was fairly quiet from day-to-day, between meals and working outside, and going to bed every night, often having sex first, then getting up the next day to do it all again. Some might call it tiresome, even boring, but it was what they knew best and the sweetest part was being able to live it together, which they could not have foreseen in May.

Becky continued to barrel race over in Texas, earning herself a great reputation as her skill improved. She was soon travelling to other parts of the state to compete, and would often call Jack and Ennis in a frenzy to tell them everything she'd been up to. Ennis wondered from time to time what had been on her mind while they'd been over there with her, but it seemed as though she'd pushed it to the back of her mind, so all he could really do was follow suit. If it was meant to be that she would reveal her secret, then it would happen. Owing to his experiences with Jack, he'd started to believe that if something was meant to happen, then it would.

She also continued to see Andy, and they became very close. In early March, however, his family started making preparations to move to Kentucky, and in an effort to keep himself with Becky, he asked her father for her hand in marriage. Her father refused on the grounds that, as a dirt poor cowboy, he had little to offer her and might not be able to take care of her. On their last night together, he held her and told her that when he had the means to do so, he would come back for her, and she promised to wait for him. Seeing Ennis and Jack together made her believe that love was something very powerful, that worked in mysterious ways, and she felt sure she would see him again.

K.E. and Cecilia went on with their lives in Wyoming with their families, talking regularly on the phone. All three siblings talked to each other every week to exchange news and try to mend their fractured bonds. In March, Cecilia and K.E. travelled down to Georgia to see Brokeback Ranch, bringing Cecilia's children with them (Tom couldn't get time off work, and Sarah wasn't yet safe to travel). The children loved the horses and Ennis and Jack taught them how to ride. Cecilia taught Jack a few cooking tips (their neighbour Mary had taught them how to do laundry properly) and a few other basic housekeeping tips that might help them out.

Jack's mother Rose managed to get in a visit in early March. Jack drove all the way back to Wyoming himself to pick her up, and brought her home again. He didn't bitch about the long, solitary drive as Ennis thought he might, he would be spending time with his mother and his partner under the same roof, and that was worth the long drive. He completely ignored his father while in Lightning Flat, knowing that he wasn't worth picking a fight with. Rose loved the ranch and was extremely proud of her son for accomplishing all he had, and sent up more than one prayer of thanks that he had met Ennis. He might not have wanted to do this on his own, might not think he had the strength nor the motivation. Ennis had changed all that. They had changed each other so much, in some way had put a little of themselves in each other.

As for Ennis and Jack, settling into the ranch was like settling into a hot bath at the end of a long, cold winter's day. Everything had fallen into place for them like pieces of a puzzle. It had only been a few months, but sometimes they felt like they'd been together for years, they knew each other inside out. In early April, Ennis became aware that it was almost a year since they'd met, and he started thinking about their anniversary. When was their anniversary anyway? May, when they'd met, June, when they'd first slept together, or August, when they'd got together properly? Which one would they celebrate? Perhaps all three, as the three most important dates of their lives so far. An idea had occurred to him, and he logged it away into his mind for further thought. He would have to do a little research and maybe a little asking around.

Their relationship and sex life grew better and stronger every day, becoming more and more adventurous as time went on. They were soon using all kinds of things in the bedroom, not just whipped cream. Ennis was a little flustered at first, not being used to such sexual liberty, but Jack eased him in and he soon found that he enjoyed it a lot. To him, there was no safer place on earth than in bed, in their house, with Jack. They would try to fall asleep face to face, but soon discovered that it wasn't always comfortable, especially after a long day of working, so one of them would instead spoon into the other, unless they had sex first, in which case they usually slept on their backs.

Whenever Jack woke before Ennis, he would take a few moments to gaze lovingly at the man beside him, and then he would raise himself slightly to look at the shirts on the bedroom door, a sight he always loved to see. Ennis was right: even though he couldn't hold him all the time, Jack did feel a sense of safety just by seeing him there, even if they might be at opposite corners of the field. He wondered vaguely if it had anything to do with the shirts, it sure felt like it might.

He thought about Ennis all the time, even if he was right next to him. He felt like a lovestruck teenager by the fact he was always thinking about him. Of course, they were no longer teenagers, but just barely, and he had been a teenager when he'd fallen in love with Ennis, so would probably always feel like that. He wondered if Ennis thought on him as much, he had a suspicion he might. More than once he had turned to see Ennis just staring at him.

Both of them would always treasure their time on Brokeback, and see it for what it truly was, the first chapter of their lives together. Hopefully the first of many. They knew that they would most likely have many more years together, many more chapters to come. And they knew that the second was only just beginning.


End file.
